I went into TurboTax and entered the Marlins $100 million payroll going into last season, subtracted Jose Reyes, Hanley, Josh Johnson, Buehrle, Bonifacio, Buck, Infante, Gaby, Anibal, Heath Bell and Ozzie Guillen’s salary, then I added in Gorkys, Ruggiano, Giancarlo, Wade LeBlanc, Eovaldi, Jacob Turner, Adeiny Hechavarria and Yunel’s salary and it says the Marlins can get an EBT card for their cash assistance benefits.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Bud Norris and Zack Greinke both struck out 12 hitters yesterday.  One in 6 innings and the latter in 7 innings, if latter means Greinke.  And when I saw their lines it occurred to me, that my Bud’s gonna be just like Greinke, when he grows up, my Bud’s gonna be just like Greinke.  You see my Bud’s WHIP’s a hassle and his homers have the flew.  But one day Bud will be just like you.  One day he’ll be just like you.  And Greinke would say, “Why is he singing Cat’s in the Cradle to me?  I’m not his father, I’m barely two years older than him?”  Yeah, you’ll see, Greinke.  You can’t even see the irony now, but one day, my Bud’s gonna be just like you.  You all will see.  For now, he’s not him.  Nope, nuh-uh, nada, not there, nope again.  His walks are still too out of control, but his K-rate is over nine and his xFIP is 12 team mixed league respectable.  He’s about as risky a starter as there is — he’s even on Rudy’s list of risky pitchers for 2012 — but it’s hard to find his sort of Ks on waivers.  And, one day, he’ll put it together and we’ll have a good time then… You know we’ll have a good time then.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Alex Avila – To the DL with a hamstring strain.  Only positive here is Miggy homered yesterday, feeling more comfortable without AA hassling him.

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David Robertson to the DL for three weeks with a left oblique strain.  2009 was the Year of the Oblique, then there was the Middle Infieluenza Outbreak of Twenty-Ten, and 2011 was a war between General Soreness and Major Discomfort.  This year is The Closepocalypse.  If you’re a closer and gonna go to the DL, at least get your make-believe plague right.

Please, blog, may I have some more?