Fantasy Baseball Advice

Kila Ka’aihue went 3-for-3, 4 Runs, 4 RBIs and 2 homers.  Also, he just missed a third homer that ended up a triple.  Mauna Kila!  He hasn’t hit for much average so far in the major leagues.  Or is it ma’ajor leagues?  His plate discipline is in impeccable and the peasant Royals would be wise to give him a starting job next spring, which could make him a sleeper for 2011 fantasy baseball.  But you put the wise moves the Royals make in one hand and the stupid moves in the other hand and you’ll need the empty hand that was supposed to hold the wise moves to help hold up the stupid moves hand.  Then have someone else move everything off the counter so there’s room to balance the weight of both hands that have become stupid move hands.  Then get some Lysol because it smells like rancid onions.  Oh, and Kila has another homer in the last week and is worth playing in the final week if you’ve lost some other players.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Josh Fields – Now 4 for his last 8 with 2 homers.  It must be ‘games don’t matter’ time, because the Royals look terrific.  Fields is worth a flier if you’re looking for a hot bat.

Jarrod Dyson – Promise this is the last Royal I’ll talk about.  Dyson is 1 for his last 23.  So why is it I own him on multiple teams?  Cause he also has 4 steals in that time.  SAGNOF!

Eric Young Jr. – With a bad case of the shins, Young’s done for the year and left wincing the night away.

Melvin Mora – 2-for-4 with a bunch of multiple hit games in the last week.  Yes, that’s all the optimism I can manage.  He’s hitting, what do you want?  (BTW, Nice job by the Colorado Chokies.  You can’t beat the Dodgers?  Really?  That’s pretty pathetic.)

Casey Blake – 2-for-5, 2 homers.  Yes, every borderline corner infidel is hot this week.  Thanks for asking.

Kenley Jansen – Got his 2nd save this week, but Kuo’s still the closer.  What I think is going on is Torre’s trying to burn out as many bullpen arms as he can in his final week for old times’ sake.

Adam Wainwright – La Russa, wearing a shirt made of veggie burgers, announced Wainwright’s done for the year.

Martin Prado – Also, done for the year.  He said this will give him more time to catch up on the episodes of I Love Money that he missed.  Hope he’s not too disappointed with the early elimination of 20 Pack.

Miguel Cabrera – Sounds like he’s done too.  No official word, but if you’re reading Leyland’s smoke signals, that’s what’s being said.

Carlos Beltran – Left the game with knee discomfort.  Wouldn’t surprise me if he were done for the year.  Don’t worry, Mets fans, Minaya’s working on a trade of Beltran’s knee for Chipper Jones’ lower back.

Randy Wolf – 7 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks.  He’ll get the Reds in the last game of the season, which should be an absolute walk as I’m sure Dusty will sit everyone.  Hmm… That was weird.  I was thinking like Dusty Baker and I suddenly wanted to chew a toothpick and throw Harang for 175 pitches.

Edinson Volquez – 6 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 8 Ks.  Solid start, but this isn’t about that.  His next start (if there is one) will be the last game and, as previously mentioned, the Reds are going to be playing the game like an split squad spring training game.  I wouldn’t start Volquez in most leagues.

David Price – 8 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks.  Wouldn’t be surprised if this is the last game of the season for Price.  Sorry, Price owners, would mean no Sunday vs. the Royals and Sean O’Sullied.  If he does start, Price may only go a few innings to stay fresh.

CC Sabathia – 8 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 8 Ks as he further confused Joe Morgan and how he’s not a landslide Cy Young winner.  Someone give Joe one of those water dunking birds to stare at.

Travis Snider – 2-for-4 with his third homer in the last week while he bats near .350.  Almost making Cito look good for batting Snider leadoff… Well, no, Snider leading off still looks silly, but he is hitting.

Mat Latos – 5 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 6 Ks.  I appreciate his efforts to bring his value down for next year’s drafts.  The real shame is the Padres might’ve overworked Latos to the point where he could be a mess next year and they might not make the playoffs either.

Carlos Pena – 1-for-2 with his 28th homer.  It almost goes without saying if he got a hit, it must’ve been a homer.  He doesn’t do those other kinds of hits.  Now Pena only needs 11 more homers to get to my preseason projection.  Get cracking!

Anibal Sanchez – 6 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 9 baserunners, 6 Ks.  Anibal gets the Pirates in the last start of the year.  I’d throw him (her?) there.

Ryan Braun – Scratched with a stomach flu.  I’m not accusing anyone, but my H2H opponent poisoned Braun’s oatmeal so I couldn’t play him.  Okay, I am accusing someone.

Nick Blackburn – 4 1/3 IP, 8 ER.  As I said last week, “Blackburn has around a 3.5 K/9.  To use the parlance of Johnnie Cochran, that’s egregious.  That’s an inning for Carlos Marmol.  Blackburn gets more bat contact than a wannabe-WAG.  When Twins fans go to a Nick Blackburn start, they bring so few K signs that they look racist.”  And that’s me quoting me!  Since there’s no Ks, it’s than but no thans for Blacburn’s last start.

Kelly Johnson – 2-for-3 with his 7th homer in September, after hitting 9 homers in April.  Someone likes the change of seasons.

Ryan Dempster – 7 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 9 Ks.  Gets the Astros for his final game of the season, which isn’t a bad start to go out on.

Alfonso Soriano – Hit his 23rd and 24th homers last night.  He might be having the worst 24 homer season in the history of baseball.  67 Runs?  Blech.  78 RBIs?  Belch.  5 steals?  Whatever.  .257 average?  Al-So’s so-so.

Jimmy Rollins – Returned to the lineup and went 1-for-3.  It’s the last week of the season, forget name value.  There’s probably a dozen guys more valuable for this last week.

Jose Contreras – Gave up a run and lost the game to the Nats.  It’s the curse of being on the cover of the AARP Magazine.

Adam Dunn – Hit his 38th homer yesterday.  The Nats have four more games for Dunn to hit two more homers or the world will explode.

Justin Smoak – Last roundup, I said, “I’d give Smoak a go for his last two games in Texas.”  Yesterday, he hit another homer.  Right now, there’s a fire burning under Smoak.

Felix Hernandez – 8 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks to move to 13-12 on the year with a 2.27 ERA.  Says he’ll pitch on Sunday so he has one more start for the M’s offense to abandon him and let him get back to .500.  I will now bludgeon Jose Lopez with Chone Figgins’ arm.

Jose Lopez – Left the game with a dislocated middle finger.  I’m sure anyone that drafted Lopez can locate a middle finger for him.

Brian Duensing continued his hellish streak with an 8 inning 1 ER, 7 K game.  While he was able to strikeout 7 of the peasant Royals, his K rate has been around 5 per 9 inning for the past three years in the minors and majors.  You know how many great pitchers get by with that type of K-rate?  None.  Though sometimes a pitcher can sell their soul for a year (see Scott Feldman 2009).  Doesn’t mean you can’t throw some caution to the wind.  When I was going over the borderline starter post that is coming later today, I noticed Duensing still isn’t owned anywhere.  He has a 2.02 ERA in 107 2/3 IP.  Seriously, you can look it up if you want… Though that might hurt the trust we’ve built over the summer.  We used to be so carefree, me and you.  Frolicking through dandelions, playing catch with that raccoon carcass.  What about those times we had? Duensing gets the White Sox and the Indians in his next two starts.  I would grab him but, and unless you’re an alien there’s always a but, he’s been lucky and he Ks no one, so know the risk.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Phil Hughes – Will have his next start skipped as the Yankees try to figure out the best way to limit Hughes’ innings while ensuring he gets no sorta rhythm going.  In redraft leagues, you’re looking at three more starts from a guy who has been getting bombed recently.  There’s gotta be better arms out there.

Ivan Nova – 6 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks.  Speaking of better arms out there, I’d go with Nova ova Hughes.

Jimmy Rollins – Left the game when he suffered a bout of Middle Infieluenza.  I’d say Rollins has really gone downhill fast, but to me going downhill fast kinda infers you’re picking up speed.  Rollins is going uphill slow, and it ain’t pretty.

Eric Young Jr. – 2-for-5 with another steal.  How about you give me your password and I’ll pick him up for your team?

Troy Tulowitzki – 3-for-4, 4 RBIs and 2 homers.  Tulo legit 2 quit.

Aaron Cook – Done for the season with a broken fibula.  No lie.

Cory Luebke – 6 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 7 Ks.  In the grand scheme of things, Luebke looks like a fifth fantasy starter.  In the last few weeks of the season, he looks like LeBlanc when pitching at home, which is an around-3 ERA, decent K starter.  A hodgepadre.

Mike Napoli – Hit his 23rd homer then was pulled from the game for making Scioscia look bad for not playing him every game.

Daniel Hudson – 7 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks.  Now has a 1.91 ERA on the Diamondbacks.  Yes, you should’ve picked him up a month ago.  No, I’m not sure what you’re doing.

Marco Scutaro – 4-for-5, 3 RBIs and 2 homers, which he hit with a partially torn rotator cuff.  Impressive since I wouldn’t leave my house with a partially torn Z. Cavaricci pants cuff.

Matt Garza – 4 1/3 IP, 6 ER.  Him and his stupid smugshot!  Don’t fart in my face and say it’s cologne!

Russell Branyan – Hit his 4th homer in the last week.  In September, he has 4 homers and 8 hits.  In August, he had 7 homers, 17 hits and 12 RBIs.  He’s a One True Outcome player, so I wouldn’t expect much more than homers, but he is providing those.

Coco Crisp – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and the slam & legs, which always goes well with cereal.

Jaime Garcia – 4 IP, 7 ER, 9 baserunners, 4 Ks.  The time to have a start like this was the week prior to the H2H playoffs, you stunod!

Brett Myers – 7 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 8 Ks.  His ERA this year is… Wait for it… Here it comes… As soon as I put away my laundry… Okay, where were we?  Oh, yeah, Myers’ ERA… Okay, let me just check on my turkey casserole then I’ll tell you.  Mmm… Looks good.  All right, ready?  His ERA is freakin’ 2.91!

Matt Wieters – Hit his 11th homer yesterday and is batting .438 over the last week.  Since people in fantasy are so fickle, Wieters should be undervalued next year because of his sub-par 2010, which means I might just own him.

Koji Uehara – 1/3 IP, 2 ER.  Was only his first blown save so I think he’ll remain the closer, then again I didn’t think he should be the closer to begin with, so take what I know, wrap it in a Moo Shu Pancake and you’ll be confused again in an hour.

Josh Johnson – Had an MRI to see what’s his major malfunction.  They found right shoulder inflammation.  His next start was already scratched and now it’s sounding like they might shut him down for the year.  Moving from Johnson to Dickey…

R.A. Dickey – 6 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 1 K and his tenth win.  He was in last week’s borderline starters post and will be in next week’s too because people refuse to add him.

Cole Hamels – 7 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks.  In 188 IP, he has 188 Ks, a 1.16 WHIP, 3.06 ERA and only 10 wins, or one more win than Tyler Clippard.  Yeah, screw you, God of Wins and the horse of Quality Starts you rode in on.

Josh Fields – 4 for his last 8 as he hit third yesterday.  I like him, but right now it looks like he’s 0nly starting vs. lefties.

Wilson Ramos – 2-for-3 with his 1st major league homer.  Don’t think he has enough value in redraft leagues outside of a deep, two catcher league, but, if you can stash him in a dynasty league for a buck for next year, I wouldn’t be surprised if he sees more time than Pudge next year.  It’s at least worth the flier to see how playing time shakes out next March.

Derek Holland – 5 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 8 Ks vs. the Blue Kays.  If you know your matchups, you’ll know what hand Holland throws with.  Hint:  The Kays are hitting .218 vs. lefties this year.

Ian Kinsler – 2-for-5 with the slam & legs.  He has 8 homers and 11 steals on the year.  Somewhere, Crapolanco says, “Hey, that’s my season!”  I’ll like Kinsler next year when he’s drafted in the 6th round or so.

Justin Morneau – Could be out until the very end of the month with his concussion.  Incredible.  How do people miss so much time with a concussion?  Don’t they have smelling salts in Minnesota?  Did something go terribly wrong when they were cloning his mini me?  You know, on The Island of Dr. Morneau.

Hanley Ramirez – Didn’t start yesterday due to back soreness.  I wouldn’t say Hanley’s the ideal guy to demonstrate work ethic but so many players get lazy in September.  Was talking with Rudy about how we need a glossary term for all of these players who are fine all year then give you nothing in September.  I present to you… Septumblers.

Logan Morrison – 1-for-3 with 2 walks.  His OBP is up to .431.  And he played yesterday with a black eye.  Too bad he doesn’t play for the Red Sox because Logan was a black eye for that city.

Roy Oswalt pulled something in his back and is presumably headed to the DL.  The bad news here is he was supposedly a 2nd half pitcher in some people’s minds, though my mind wasn’t yet made up.  It’s a guy’s prerogative to change his mind, or just not make it up at all.  As someone who has struggled with lower back pain for most of his adult life… Oh, who am I kidding?  I’m fit as a fiddle.  I once dwarf bowled a 170.  (Of course, he helped by kicking over that 7-10 split.)  Wait, what was I saying?  Oh, yeah!  Oswalt.  Yeah, he’s off to see a back specialist, the Astros are calling up Bud Norris, hopefully related to Chuck.  Bud Norris might sound familiar to some of youse.  Why?  Cause I just said his name in the previous sentence.  Hello, Mr. Short-Term Memory.  He also may sound familiar to you because he was in last week’s Scouting the Unknown.  For those too lazy to click-through, his walk rate isn’t pretty.  I’d grab him in NL-Only leagues and take a flier on him in 12 team and deeper mixed leagues if you really need the help, but he may cause migraines.  Best case scenario is he foolz (the kids love the Z) some hitters for about a month worth of starts and racks up the strikeouts while barely making it out of the 5th inning because of a high pitch count, see also Clay/ton Buchh/shaw.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

LaTroy Hawkins – His MRI came back negative on his back so he’s heading to the DL with shingles.  Whaaat?!?  Don’t you need to check off a few things before going from an MRI to shingles?  It’s not a bulging disk… Okay, let’s check for shingles.

Randy Johnson – Torn rotator cuff.  Just be glad I didn’t go with the title, Torn Johnson.

Clay Buchholz – 5 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 11 baserunners and tied me to the WHIPping post.  The home plate ump looked like he wouldn’t call a strike.  Put Fieldin Culbreth behind home; he’ll call a strike.  Just be glad Buchholz got out of the 5th.  Against the A’s no less.  Not a great sign.  Go after a hitter.  Pitch to contact.  Trust your stuff.  Listen to Eck, would ya?

Scott Kazmir – 7 IP, 1 ER.  Sonavabench!  I fully expect him to go out and get rocked in his next game when I start him.  Kazmir, why do you hate me?

Fred Lewis – Took a real long time, but you know who’s finally hot?  Fred Lewis.  Maybe he finally figured out why I called him a sleeper in February.

Eugenio Velez – Hit a homer yesterday.  In other news, water’s dry.

CC Sabathia/Chad Billingsley – Belch.

Tommy Everidge – Was called up to replace Barton.  His minor league numbers look promising, but he’s not available anywhere until ESPN, Y! or CBS put him into their systems.  Though he’s not really worth a pickup yet, except in AL-Only leagues.

George Sherrill – People really seem to want him and it makes sense for the Orioles to trade him away if they can get anything.  As said elsewhere by me, you don’t need a closer to finish last.  The catch, and there’s always one, Baez and Johnson haven’t looked good at all recently.  It may come down to *cover your children’s eyes if they’re reading this* a committee.  I know!  Terrible.

Matt Wieters – 4-for-5, but what about Gregg Zaun?!

Kevin Correia – 6 IP, 2 ER, 5 Ks, 8 baserunners.  Perfectly acceptable game for a HodgePadre in an away game.  Unfortunately, I refuse to start him anywhere but home…

Heath Bell – Another guy that seems like he might be on the move.  And another situation that isn’t crystal clear.  Mujica’s held the 8th for the majority of the season, but he’s faltered recently.  Gregerson’s been fine, but he’s Luke Gregerson.  Mike Adams has been terrific too.  But he’s not even Luke Gregerson.  I’d hold Mujica or Gregerson, in that order.

Everth Cabrera – 3-for-4, 2 steals.  I loved EverCab when he first came up, then he did nothing for two weeks.  So I dropped him and then he did this to me (6 steals in the last week).  Yesterday in the comments, this was said by frequent commenter, Tom, “Hey remember that time you got back from church camp and destroyed all of your rebellious, edgy EverCab albums?  And remember that time 3 weeks later when you stopped dating that girl from camp, and you were really pissed that you threw them out?  Today is that day.”

Rafael Soriano – Has now given up runs in two of his last three games.  If you take nothing else away from today’s roundup, Soriano goes through stretches where he’s terrible.  You’ve been warned.

Leo Nunez – Gave up a run, Lindstrom’s due back in a week.  You’ve been warned.  Again.

Nyjer Morgan – Since I already pointed out my goof on EverCab, I’ll cop to this one too.  I bungled Nyjer.  He’s been a very decent SAGNOF source.  I even tried to trade for him in one league.  I think I was ignored.  Hey, don’t take my Garrett Jones.  It’s fine by me (please stay hot Jones, please).

Elvis Andrus – HR and steal yesterday.  No lie, in one league I literally dropped him two days ago.  Momma said there would be days like these…

Clete Thomas – I picked him up and he went 0-for-4.  I grabbed him because he’s batting third for the Tigers.  Why’s he batting third?  I don’t know.  Buy Leyland a pack of Marlboro Reds and maybe he’ll tell you.

Jhonny Peralta – This year he’s carrying the Silent H Torch for him and Khalil, and has three straight games with a homer as he bats over .400 in the last 7 games.

Scott Downs – 2/3 IP, 1 ER.  People were yelling fire in the comments yesterday that Frasor’s due to take over, they might be right.  Downs has given up runs in four of his last five games.  I wouldn’t be surprised to see Downs hit the Disgraceful List.

Chien-Ming Wang – Visited Dr. Freeze and was put on ice for the season.  Imagine Dr. Andrews misunderstood, “Something’s wrong with Wang,” as something was wrong with his wang.  Ah, the yucks a bad Farrelly brothers movie could have with that.

Brad Lidge – 1 IP, 2 ER, Save.  He’s really got the save down pat where he gives up 2 runs.  It’ll be funny in the playoffs when he loses a key game and McCarver’s like, “He’s usually so reliable.”  Joe Buck *interminable pause* then, “We’ll be back here tomorrow for game five.”

Dan Haren – 5 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners.  Now has two straight so-so starts by his 1st half of starts’ standards.  Honestly, I was pretty happy with this so-so start.  He gets the Mets in Metco next, so hopefully he can be decently so-so again.

Adam Dunn – Hit a homer out of Miller Park.  Then had his blue ox run the bases.

Mark Buehrle – 6 1/3 IP, 5 ER.  Back to life… Back to reality… and Johnny Vander Meer’s family is once again free to make plans.

Josh Fields – Being dropped from the roster for Mark Kotsay.  Fields wants a trade from the White Sox.  Maybe if you robbed a homer to seal a perfect game, you wouldn’t be getting dropped.  Think about that!

Mark Kotsay – Traded to the White Sox for Brian Anderson.  What’s the point of this trade?  Did Kenny Williams get a look at Kotsay’s wife?  This is the most irrelevant trade since Jose Lima was traded to the Kia Tigers for a bottle of kimchi.

Matt Lindstrom hits the DL with a sore elbow and should be out at least 6 weeks.  He’s fine to drop if you don’t have DL room, since he may not be the closer when/if he returns.  Rudy and I were talking over IM when the news of Matt Lindstrom hitting the DL broke.  We looked at the options.  Dan Meyer or Leo Nunez?  Meyer is a lefty that has been handling righties well this year.  Nunez has posted ERAs of 3.18, 3.77, 6.43 in the first three months of the season and he just hurt his ankle on Tuesday.  We went with Meyer on all of our teams.  At worst, we have a guy who has pitched well.  A few hours later, Nunez said his ankle was fine.  If I had to do it over again, I would’ve went with Nunez because he’s probably first in line for saves.  SAGNOF, after all.  I’m holding Meyer for now just to see how this plays out.  So far, it’s played out with Meyer getting the first save.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Edinson Volquez – Almost a month after heading to the DL, Edinson has elbow inflammation.  This is obviously terrible news for his owners.  An arm setback after almost of a month hiatus usually means he’s not coming back for a while.

Homer Bailey – Should get the call on Saturday.  That call goes like this, “Hey, Dusty here.”  “This is Homer.”  “Simpson?”  “Bailey.”  “What’s up, Homer Bailey?”  “You called me.”  “Oh.”  Dusty puts down the phone at this point and makes Harang throw 200 warmup pitches.  Then Homer hears in the background Dusty telling Paul Janish to hang up the phone.  Bailey’s worth grabbing in NL-Only leagues.  I wouldn’t trust him in mixed leagues shallower than 15 team.  He’s fubar’d too many opportunities at this point to run out and grab him.  And if you do grab him, don’t start him.

Jonny Gomes – HR yesterday as he fills in for Beltran on three of our teams.  (The “our” is for Rudy.)

Aaron Hill/Adam Lind – Both homered, 16th and 15th, respectively.  I feel like I answer lots of trade questions about getting rid of these guys.  Why does everyone want to lose them?  Afraid of happiness?  They’re solid.  Rios or Hill?  Hill.  Lind or Markakis?  Markakis, but not really by much and Lind can out perform him.  30/100 is nothing to sneeze at.  Unless you’re allergic to productive outfielders.

Brad Lidge – Should return today, I’d hold Ryan Madson for the time being, because Lidge has been ready to pitch in 28 games so far this year and has a 7.27 ERA.

Kenshin Kawakami – Was hit with a linedrive to the side of his neck.  Should be fine, according to his doctors that are located over the *pinkie to mouth* Throbs Neck Bridge.

Evan Longoria – Left with moans over his hammy.  He said he’ll be back by Thursday.

Pat Burrell – Hit his 2nd homer of the year.  2nd homer?  That’s awful.  Hopefully, he hasn’t been clogging up too many of your teams.  The good news is if he’s on waivers he gets very hot for stretches.  Could hit 10 homers in the next month.

Matt Garza – 8 IP, 1 ER, 7 Ks vs. Phils.  Last two starts, he couldn’t get through the 6th inning and gave up 4 and 3 runs, respectively.  When Garza pitches, you know you’re going to get something.  What something is a whole different ballgame.

Joe Blanton – 7 IP, 2 ER, 10 Ks.  Yeah, and I had Wolf going all over the place giving up five runs to the White Sox.  Fantasy Baseball, Aggravating you for over twenty years.

Rich Harden – 5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 3 Ks, 4 walks.  I’ve never been a fan of Harden.  But I wasn’t a fan of the when-healthy-extremely-effective Rich Harden.  Who is this Rich Harden?  This isn’t him.

David Ortiz – HR yesterday.  I’m willing to admit it, he’s back.  Now you’re still up against a guy who has no position eligibility.  That kills your team’s flexibility.  You see a hot hitter on waivers?  With Ortiz at UTIL, you’ll have no place to put him.

Grady Sizemore – 2nd game back, first homer.  Great sign!  Then again, he hit a homer the day before he went on the DL.  Damn you, half empty glass.

Zach Duke – 6 IP, 1 ER.  Has a 3.09 ERA on the year.  Zoinks!

Adam LaRoche – 3-for-4, 11th homer, 2nd steal, 1 cat saved from a burning building.

Nick Evans – HR yesterday as he got the start at first.  Makes sense for the Mets to give the kid starts over Tatis, not sure if he’ll continue to start over Murphy though.  He may find himself in a platoon of sorts and hurting his breakout potential.  He does have solid pop and a decent eye.  Other than NL-Only keepers, it’s a bit early to be looking at him.

Ricky Nolasco – 7 IP, 0 ER, 7 Ks.  I won’t go as far to say he’s fully back, but I will say he seems fully back.  Modified!

Nick Blackburn – 8 IP, 3 ER, 12 baserunners, 2 Ks.  41 Ks/26 BBs on the year with a 3.11 ERA.  You are a statistical anomaly!

Miguel Olivo – Another homer yesterday.  Has something like 20 homers this month.

Josh Fields – 2 HRs yesterday.  That’s one homer for each start he’s had in the last ten days.

Gavin Floyd – 6 IP, 1 ER.  I hope someone’s riding this wave so I can live vicariously, because I don’t own him in any league. (<–Not by choice.)

Frank Francisco – Being eased back into the closer role.  They ease much longer and he’s going to be back on the DL before he gets another save.

Brandon Morrow – Threw 2 innings three starts ago, 3 innings two starts ago, then 4 innings one start ago.  Guess how many yesterday?  Yup, 5.  Anyone want some action on how many he’s going to throw next time out?

Vladimir Guerrero – Hit his 2nd homer yesterday.  Now only two behind the Subaru pace car of Abreu.

Everth Cabrera – Newest shortstop-schmohawk-SAGNOF guy.  Definitely worth a flier if you need steals.

Vicente Padilla – After a typical start, after a 7 IP, 1 ER start.

Francisco Liriano went four innings and gave up seven runs against a team that absolutely kills lefties in Fenway.  Let’s run down his 3-year averages for the months of the season, starting with April: 6.93, 1.99, 1.51, 2.31, 1.13 and 4.36.  You think he might need some time to get going?  His April combined ERA for the last 3 years, not including this year, is almost 7.  His combined May through August ERAs are under 2. Are you kidding me? Heffin’ hey, trade for him! This might be the best buy you find right now.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Kurt Suzuki – First HR of the season yesterday.  He hit one HR through the middle of June last year.  What is everyone doing at Yankee Stadium?  Is it the Macarena?  The Electric Slide?  No, it’s The Jetstream!

Justin Verlander – 5 IP, 7 ER.  It’ll get better, but it’s not going to get much better to make him a buy candidate.

Joe Saunders – 5 IP, 5 ER.  Take out the Liquid Paper; more corrections to come.

Andre Ethier – Hit his 5th HR yesterday.  Frankly, sometimes I’m wrong. (17% of the time!)  I had my doubts about whether he would produce this year, but he’s doing it.

Hunter Pence – 4th homer, 3rd steal in yesterday’s game.  Marching towards 25/15 and top 30 outfielder status.

Francisco Cordero – 6th save, 1.29 ERA. Member he was a mess in spring training?  Uh-huh.

Kevin Gregg – 1 IP, 1 ER, 6.43 ERA.  Member he was a mess in– Oh, wait.

Johnny Cueto – 7 IP, 0 ER. 2.55 ERA on the season.  In the preseason, I said I was higher on Cueto this year than Volquez.  I wasn’t joking.

Milton Bradley – 0-for-4, 3 Ks.  Batting .043 so far this season when he shows up healthy and it’s not raining.  Cubs fans were booing him yesterday like he was Bartman and a goat’s love child.

Willy Taveras – 0-for-2, batting .268.  Wait, he’s no longer batting .400?  Ah, dim the lights in Ted Williams’s freezer for one more year.

David Purcey – 5 1/3 IP, 3 ER. Still burping.

Omar Vizquel/Ian Kinsler/Andruw Jones – Is there anyone not batting over .400 on the Rangers?  Oh, Salty B. Davis.

Jair Jurrjens – 7 2/3 IP, 0 ER.  1.42 ERA on the year.  I really like Jar-Jar this year.  I don’t think his ERA stays anywhere near where it is, obviously.  But he can keep it around 3.75 with some Ks.

Adam Dunn – 0-for-4. Oh, well. .300′s in the rear view.

Scott Baker – 4 2/3 IP, 6 ER.  Someone’s having a bit of a problem with the long ball.  If you had to ask me if he’s going to rebound in May like CC last year, or if he’s going to become completely unusable like Gorzelanny.  I’d take Gorz and June as the under.  I think Baker’s headed for the Disgraceful List. You don’t give up 7 home runs in 8 and two-thirds and just suddenly say, “Hey, you know what?  I just realized I was supposed to be throwing the ball harder.  And in better locations.”

Brian Bannister – Maybe he just likes pitching in April.  Pumpkin’s ETA is one week.

Josh Fields – HR, 3-for-5, batting in the 2 hole.  If this sticks, and, with Ozzie, anything’s possible, this could boost Fields’s value a lot.

Carlos Villanueva – Back as the setup man.  Only he was setting up Todd Coffey.  The Baron, frequent commenter/guest poster, pegged Coffey as an out of nowhere closer that gets 30 saves this year as Hoffman continues to get injured.  Not as crazy as it sounds.

Chris Young – 7 IP, 6 baserunners, 0 ER.  I like him; you know that.  But it sure don’t hurt when there’s only one guy in the opposing starting lineup hitting .300.

John Danks – 7 IP, 1 ER.  I feel like this guy isn’t getting the respect he deserves.  So far I’ve mentioned him in two of three Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sells as a Buy.  I put him as a starter to target in the preseason.  What do I have to do?  Help me, help you.

John Maine – 5.2 IP, 5 ER.  Outdueled by Joel Pineiro.  I just vomited onto my wall and it reads, “Punt.”

B.J. Ryan – 1 IP, 3 ER. Downs wasn’t much better making this a save situation in the first place by giving up a run.

Rafael Soriano – Got the save yesterday.  It was a tied game and Cox brought in his lefty closer into a tight game to face a tough lefty.  Don’t need to read too much into it.  Soriano’s 2nd in line, we knew that already though.

LaTroy Hawkins – Joey Valgreen’s decomposing right before our ojos – bad back, ankle, and calf.    We have no faith whatsoever in Hawkins but if he asked us to the SAGNOF dance, we’d accept the offer.  If you’ve got Valverde, go buy yourself some LaTroy Handcuffs…

Jay Bruce – Another HR.  This time I had him in my lineup.  Bruuuuuce!

Jeremy Guthrie – 6 IP, 5 ER.  Gotta know when to hold ‘em and know when to fold ‘em.  His team gives him no chances for wins, he faces the top offenses in baseball all the time, he doesn’t strikeout that many guys and he’s only a 4 ERA pitcher to begin with.   You win, world of Guthrie haters.  Are you happy?

Melky Cabrera – 2 HRs yesterday.  4 HRs in 23 ABs this year.  Everybody, come on!  We’re doing The Jetstream! (What? Trying too hard?)