Another Joyous week of 2 start streaming is in the books. This week we have a bunch of lads that are up against it. Most of the options this week are being truly put to the test with some of their toughest match-ups to date. There are no gimmies this week and believe it or not Bronson Arroyo actually looks attractive this week, though only in a fantasy baseball way. The other options that are being added or talked about this week all get the Yankees and someone else, which is never a good thing especially who the other teams are. So stream carefully. Enjoy the week to come and if you need anything you know where to find me. (Please be aware that pitchers and match-ups change)
ONE START STREAMERS:
5/2
Josh Tomlin @ CHW – Humber
AJ Burnett @STL – Lynn
5/3
Jake Westbrook vs Pit – Bedard
Jeff Niemann vs Sea – Millwood
Ross Detwiler vs Ari – Kennedy
5/4
Drew Smyly vs CHW – Peavy
Jason Vargas vs Min – Marquis
Anthony Bass vs Mia – Johnson
TWO START OPTIONS:
Juan Nicasio (LAD vs Harang, Atl vs Beachy) Proving to be a good Road Scholar, offers you some decent K potential as well. No word on if his brother Jose Texas Instruments is an option this week.
Tommy Milone (@Bos vs Buchholz, @TB vs Moore) Gets his first start east of the Mississippi. The old man, the mighty miss. Unfortunately Bos and TB are playing the role of Dinkums and are going to pee all over his picnic basket.
Bronson Arroyo (CHC vs Volstad, @Pit vs Morton) Gotta love the match-ups here. Based on options this week it’s either bench some useful guys, stream some guys mid week if possible, or go with this guy. There is no D unfortunately.
Jason Hammel (@NYY vs Kuroda, @Bos vs Buchholz) The pride of Treasure Valley Community College, where their motto is bring a shovel because we are in a valley and there is treasure. From the outside looking in if you own him great job, give yourself a pat on the back. Now don’t stop until until May 17th when he can actually be used again.
J.A. Happ (NYM vs Dickey, STL vs Wainwright) The epic battle of R.A. vs J.A. for the world title of being the best initialed pitcher in the galaxy. Adam Wainwright sits in the corner stewing, waiting to take J.A’s lunch money.
Luke Hochevar (Det vs Wilk, NYY vs Hughes) Focus on the names of the match-ups. Not the line-ups for a second…ok I don’t blame you for saying that. Or that, or that…. OK now your just being offensive. ERA says 5 but he is pitching like a mid 2′s guy, and that my friends is why numbers lie.
Joe Weiland (Mil vs Wolf, Mia vs Nolasco) Home cooking for a Friar’s pitcher. Viva la Hodgepodgery.
Charlie Morton (@STL vs Wainwright, Cin vs Arroyo) If runs came in bunches like bananas then Pittsburgh is suffering from a potassium deficiency. Look away, nothing to see here unless your in a 16 plus team league and are desperate to destroy your counting stats for the week.
Liam Hendriks (@LAA vs Wilson, @Sea vs Noesi) The good news is he plays the Mariners. The bad is he is a mediocre pitcher on mediocre team playing against an ace. No sugar coating it around here I am diabetic.
Josh Collmenter (Mia vs Buerhle, @NYM vs Dickey) Hahahahahahahahahahaha. This message brought to you and paid for by the promotion campaign of Trevor Bauer.
This is almost the end of the 2012 fantasy baseball rankings. With these top 80 starters for 2012 fantasy baseball, there’s a few names that I’m really gunning for on my teams… My deeper teams. On last year’s top 80, there were a few guys that shot up the rankings (Hellickson, Anibal, Garza and Zimmermann), so I imagine a lot of you won’t need most of the names on this list, but there will be some. Now humor me. There’s tiers and projections mentioned for everyone. Anyway, here’s the top 80 starters for 2012 fantasy baseball:
61. Brandon McCarthy – This tier started in the top 60 starters for 2012 fantasy baseball. This tier ends at Peavy. I called this tier, “Holy crap, there were a lot of starters I didn’t like in the top 60 starters post. Let’s see some names I like. Please.” The first two guys in this tier could’ve been called, “Young pitchers who don’t strike out many that you should start at home.” McCarthy’s ERA at home was 2.65 and 1.11 WHIP. As said two sentences ago, McCarthy doesn’t strike out a whole lot of guys. Two Sentences Ago, “Why don’t you come up with your own points?” 2012 Projections: 8-11/3.50/1.17/140
62. Tim Stauffer – Last year Stauffer had a home ERA of 2.57 and a 1.13 WHIP. I’ll give this to you nice and simple like Minnie Pearl would’ve wanted it. Stauffer is a Hodgepadre. Start him at home and sit him on the road. He did have 94 1/3 IP innings at home last year, so you’re talking about a top tier reliever’s ratio stats if you hold firm when to start him. 2012 Projections: 8-10/3.80/1.24/135
63. Ted Lilly – I could’ve made a sub-tier within this tier calling these last three guys, “Pitchers that I refuse to learn from no matter how many times they burn me.” I really believe last year we saw the beginning of the end of Lilly. Fading Lilly, if you like pithy comments that sound like sushi restaurants. There’s some arguments to be made that that (stutterer!) is incorrect. He did come on in the 2nd half (2.94 ERA, 8+ K/9). If you believe his 1st half (4.79 ERA) was just an aberration on the that-ain’t-the-real-thing tip, then I could see grabbing Lilly late. For his price, it’s probably worth it. 2012 Projections: 11-8/3.85/1.18/160
64. Scott Baker – For those of you that can’t wait to read the end of this post just to comment that Lilly and Baker’s projections look better than Stauffer and McCarthy so why do I have them below? Don’t. Lilly is on the downswing of his career and Baker can’t stay healthy. Take an upside flyer with Stauffer or McCarthy before these guys. Those of you who didn’t read this blurb and commented about the order of the rankings, you’re not reading this either. Too bad, I would’ve had you say hello to your mother for me. Hey now! 2012 Projections: 11-7/3.65/1.19/160
65. Jake Peavy – If he can stay healthy, he could be valuable. Unfortunately, my man can’t stay healthy. Grey, you have no faith in medicine, The White Stripes. If I were the type to say completely unsubstantiated claims with no factual evidence, I’d say Peavy can’t stay healthy because he used to do steroids. I would never say that though. I’m way above that! Hopefully, there’s no my-momma-didn’t-name-me-that scandal with the reveal that he’s really Jack Peavy and actually 78 years old, but that would jive with all of his health problems. For those worried about the integrity of our great game, I do think the name scandals will soon end with all players selling their naming rights to companies. Now pitching for the New York Yankees… Saran Wrap! 2012 Projections: 10-8/3.75/1.21/130
66. Ryan Vogelsong – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Jackson. I call this tier, “You may get a number three fantasy starter or you may get someone similar to Nadir Bupkus.” Last year didn’t really make sense. Not in general, unless you’re trying to figure why you like baseball yet weren’t that crazy about Moneyball. I think you had to not like baseball to love Moneyball. But I was referring to last year not making sense for Vogelsong. He’s like 40 years old (34) and he just put up his best season, even though his peripherals (pitch speed, where the pitches were, etc.) didn’t get better from the last time he was in the States. Maybe he can repeat it. More likely, you’re going to get a good spot starter when he faces the Padres, Dodgers and some other weaker offenses. 2012 Projections: 10-9/3.75/1.26/140
67. Jonathon Niese – Last year, his ERA was 4.40 and now the Mets are moving in the fences and constructing a giant Madoff head to blow hot air out to right field. So why is Niese in a positive tier? Thanks, clunky expository question! He had a K-rate of 7.89 last year and showed in the minors that is about right and could be even a little higher. Also, he had a slightly off BABIP and poor LOB%, so he wasn’t really a near-four and half ERA pitcher, but probably three-quarters of a run better. All these good vibes about Niese make me want to do my Grind workout. 2012 Projections: 9-10/3.75/1.32/160
68. Bud Norris – You can’t predict wins. You shouldn’t even try. It is totally pointless. But since I had a “Totally Pointless” college degree this is right up my alley. You are not going to get wins with Norris. You will get some walks and nice Ks. I kinda want Norris on every team. Might even draft him on my AL-Only keeper team for when the Astros realign. 2012 Projections: 7-9/3.80/1.32/190
69. Mike Leake – His ground ball percentage was solid, walks were dropped by over one per game and his strikeouts increased (though not to a rate that is drool-inducing). If Leake can avoid dribblers through the vas deferns, he should have some success. 2012 Projections: 13-8/3.75/1.22/135
70. Ryan Dempster – I’m tentatively liking Dempster this year. His 4.80 ERA last year was H to the ideous, but he did have a 3.70 xFIP and a 8.50 K/9. I’ve seen worse stats. Some of the guys above him, for instance, they have worse stats. I don’t know the intricacies of his contract and I don’t think you should draft someone in March with the hope they’re traded, but wouldn’t shock me to see Dempster on a pennant contender before 2012 is through. Maybe he’ll go to the Padres, if the Yankees change their name to the Padres. 2012 Projections: 12-8/3.90/1.33/190
71. Edwin Jackson – Signed yesterday with the Nats, naturally. Looks like all the Nats needed to become a contender was to get rid of Bowden. Great addition for the Nats’ rotation. For fantasy, it’s a’ight. Earlier in his career, he was better in the AL than the NL, but now that he’s matured I think it was an immaturity thing. Funny how that works. Best case scenario is a 3.50 ERA and kinda icky WHIP. Worst case scenario is a 4 and a half ERA and icky WHIP. Speaking of which, I was thinking about what’s the best best case scenario of recent times and I have to think it’s The Jersey Shore. I can’t help watch the opening and think about how when they made that title sequence they all were probably glad to just be employed by a t-shirt shop, MTV almost axed the show before it started and none of them really had much chance for a future unless you count success by the number of acquired STDs. Now they’re all millionaires and it’s laughable that they would work at a t-shirt shop. Of course, the worst worst case scenario would have to be leaving the show a’la Angelina and not reaping any of its benefits. What a stunod. 2012 Projections: 11-10/3.80/1.35/160
72. Hiroki Kuroda – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Collmenter. I call this tier, “Solid, but unspectacular.” See, I will draft solid with a chance for spectacular. I’ll even take a chance on very risky with a chance for spectacular. But “Solid, but unspectacular” gets drafted around the time I want to take flyers, so I don’t bother with this tier. When you’re this late in a draft, it makes no sense to draft a guy like Kuroda, Danks, Buehrle, etc. Like any investment, they’re the last one in and first one out. It’s a shame that Kuroda was picked up by the Yankees. When he was on the Dodgers, he was a solid back end of your fantasy rotation starter that no one ever reached for. For whatever reason, everyone looked the other way even though his career ERA is under 3.50, WHIP’s under 1.20, walks are low and his K/9 last year was over 7. Oh, well. I wouldn’t draft him with your fantasy team in 2012. AL East and The Stadium They Built Across The Street From The House Ruth Built is two negatives that don’t equal a positive. 2012 Projections: 12-9/3.90/1.24/150
73. John Danks – I’ll admit I’m probably too down on Danks. He’s the very definition of solid, but unspectacular. A big issue with solid but unspectacular that I didn’t mention above. If for some reason you get less than solid, you get Danks’s 2011: 4.33 ERA, 135 Ks and 1.34 WHIP. That’s not even solid. At 27 years old, he should revert back to solid, but unspectacular. 2012 Projections: 9-10/3.75/1.28/150
74. Mark Buehrle – Gets wins, mid-3 ERA, lots of innings… What’s not to like? Oh, yeah, he strikes out about as much as Mystery in a college bar on “Ladies drink for free” night. 2012 Projections: 14-10/3.70/1.28/100
75. Ivan Nova – With a 3.70 ERA, he won 16 games last year in 28 games started. Basically, Blyleven would’ve been a first ballot Hall of Famer on the Yankees. If you’re chasing wins, I could see going with Nova, but chasing wins is a losing proposition. (<–Turn of a phrase point!) 2012 Projections: 14-8/4.00/1.33/110
76. Gavin Floyd – I’ve tied Floyd to Danks in my rankings for as long as I can remember, which sounds like a nerdy version of the Goodfellas voiceover. Floyd is a tad under Danks because of his age. There’s a better chance of Danks exceeding his projections than Floyd, but they’re both solid, but… Well, you know. 2012 Projections: 9-11/4.00/1.26/155
77. R.A. Dickey – I don’t like Dickey, not that there’s anything right with that. He’s totally blown away my projections the last two years, but I can’t trust a knuckleballer. I don’t like when I’m relying on a pitcher that has no idea where the ball is going. I’m sure he’s used to the hate. Can’t be easy going through puberty with a name like Dickey and being a knuckleballer. 2012 Projections: 10-9/3.75/1.27/130
78. Josh Collmenter – You thought I didn’t like Dickey? Try my dislike of Collmenter on for size. Too snug? That’s cause you have both of your arms in the same sleeve. Collmenter had a 5+ K-rate and a 4.18 xFIP. No Ks there is a than, but no thans. 2012 Projections: 8-10/4.25/1.24/110
79. Francisco Liriano – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until here. I call this tier, “Screw you, Liriano.” He got very lucky last year. No, not with his FIP or xFIP or BABIP or men left on base or with runs scored for. He got lucky I didn’t kill him. 2012 Projections: 11-11/4.30/1.35/155
80. Brett Cecil – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Volquez. I call this tier, “You’ll probably drop most of these guys by mid-April and may not even have the nads to start them once on your team, but you may as well take a flyer.” (The projections in this tier are optimistic.) I saw one ‘pert didn’t rank Cecil in his top 100 starters. I thought that was odd. He’s only 26 years old. Then I looked at mock draft results and he wasn’t anywhere. I saw Joel Pineiro. I saw Jason Hammel. I even saw Javier Vazquez. He retired. We’re all that done with a 26-year-old pitcher who was being drafted last year in the top 200? I don’t want to point any fingers, but you — yeah, you. Don’t look behind you. — were excited about drafting Cecil last year. Nothing in his stats say bounce back, but between him or Pineiro or a guy that retired, I’m going with Cecil. 2012 Projections: 12-9/4.00/1.30/145
After the top 80 starters, there’s a lot of names, but here’s some that stand out:
Homer Bailey - With a career ERA of 4.89, I’ve warded off Homer to use two of the better father names in the history of television. Now, I find myself seeing a scenario where I could draft him very late. His walk rate last year was more than one walk off his previous year. His K-rate fell a bit, but it’s still over 7. His xFIP was 3.77 and his team should win some games. Bailey is long overdue for a breakout. I’m saying sleeper and grab him late. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it until he defecates all over my ERA. 2012 Projections: 12-9/3.70/1.28/130
Chris Sale – If I had to, and I probably do, write a sleeper post about Sale or Bard, it’s a no-brainer. It’s Sale all the way. Sale’s only real question mark is how many innings will the Pale Hose throw him. (BTW, if I was writing newspaper headlines in 1919, I would’ve wrote “Paint the White Hose Black.” If there’s any time travelers reading this, take it, it’s yours.) I think Sale sees about 125 innings. 2012 Projections: 8-8/3.50/1.24/130
Daniel Bard – When the Sawx first announced Bard would start, here’s what I said, “The Sawx are toying with the idea that Daniel Bard should be in the rotation rather than as the closer. To incorrectly quote Gordon Gekko, “That’s a toy with fleas.” As a starter in the minor leagues, his ERA was 7.08 and walked 78 hitters in 75 innings. Granted, this was early on in his minor league career, but I don’t see the Sawx taking a pitcher that is actually succeeding as a reliever and stretching him out to fail. Then again, their rotation isn’t exactly five deep. Hopefully Daniel doesn’t stay *pinkie to mouth* Bard from the bullpen. Or should I say bullpun.” And that’s me quoting me! I still think the Red Sox make a last minute move to keep Bard in the bullpen and acquire another starter. 2012 Projections: 9-7/3.70/1.22/160
Brad Peacock – I already went over my Brad Peacock fantasy. It’s January Grey’s favorite post. 2012 Projections: 9-8/3.60/1.30/170
Edinson Volquez – If he gets 200 innings, he will strikeout 200 hitters. Look at the rest of this post and try to find another guy K’ing 200. So why isn’t he ranked higher? Well, there’s this little problem with him walking people like it’s his job. It’s not his job. If that’s getting lost in the translation, someone should tell him that is not his job. Yo camino no trabajar! 2012 Projections: 8-12/3.75/1.33/200
Ricky Nolasco – This is the last tier. This tier is called, “I didn’t forget these guys. I’m just not drafting them.” Nolasco hasn’t had an ERA under 4.50 in 3 years, but if you’re playing in a league that counts K/BB rates or guys that underperform, then by all means go with Nolasco. 2012 Projections: 12-9/4.25/1.29/150
Wade Davis – He had strikeout numbers in the minors, and I think those return from wherever they went, but I’m not drafting him on the assumption they will. Could be a nice during-season-pickup if he gets his shizz together. 2012 Projections: 10-10/4.15/1.35/115
Carlos Zambrano – Ozzie will either bond with Zambrano and have him produce his best year since the mid-naughts or their personalities together will become so combustible that Little Havana will break from the union and form the 51st state with Ozzie becoming Supreme Leader of Little Havana and having Zambrano executed. My money’s on the latter. 2012 Projections: 11-10/4.10/1.35/130
Johan Santana – The Mets are hoping to get 25 starts out of Johan. The Mets are saying he’s a question mark for Opening Day. The Mets pronounce players ready to return usually six months before they’re back on the field and they’re saying bad things already about Johan. Instead of drafting Johan, if you’re into torturing yourself, try meeting up with random people from Craigslist’s Missed Connections. Here’s one, “You didn’t tan, your freckles merged. Now I want our bodies to. I saw you at the Jiffy Lube on Tuesday. I can’t wait another 3 months or 3,000 miles.” 2012 Projections: 7-5/3.75/1.22/80 (in 120 innings)
So, how’s everyone holding up without baseball every day? I don’t know what to do with myself! Yesterday, I wandered into a Starbucks and told the coffeerista about Mike Stanton for 2012. We’ve gone over the final 2011 fantasy baseball rankings for hitters and the top 20 starters. There’s only one of these godforsaken recap posts left before we’re into 2012 fantasy shizz. You’re welcome. Anyway, here’s the top 40 starters for 2011 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:
21. Madison Bumgarner – Trying to find some info that hasn’t been reported before, I decided to look at some of Bumgarner’s splits vs. his NL West opponents. I figured he would’ve dominated them and I was going to conclude Giants pitchers are can’t misses because of their most-faced opponents. Against the Padres (4.24 ERA in 23 1/3 IP), Dodgers (4.11 in 30 2/3 IP!) and Arizona (4.26 in 12 2/3 IP) — hey, metaphorical window, how about you open so I can throw a theory out? Preseason Rank #46, 2011 Projections: 12-7/3.60/1.25/140, Final Numbers: 13-13/3.21/1.21/191
22. Daniel Hudson – I had so much love for Hudson in the preseason that he kinda needed to compete for the Cy Young to please me. Instead, he produced respectable numbers but disappointed in the one category that gives me the goose pimples — Ks. His K-rate dropped from 7.93 to 6.85. Mr. Obvious, “Yeah, that’s not good.” Preseason Rank #34, 2011 Projections: 12-9/3.50/1.18/190, Final Numbers: 16-12/3.49/1.20/169
23. Hiroki Kuroda – Definitely the Rodney Dangerfield of major league starters. Kuroda could’ve been coming off 5 solid starts and I’d have people asking me in the comments if they should hold him. Hold him, squeeze him, love him. On an unrelated note, what if Chazz Palminteri became Chastity Palminteri? Or Chazz Face-Palminteri? Preseason Rank #39, 2011 Projections: 12-9/3.45/1.18/140, Final Numbers: 13-16/3.07/1.21/161
24. Johnny Cueto – I played a broken record during the season about how Cueto wasn’t a sub-2.50 ERA pitcher. Not going to play that tune again. Everyone who owned him got lucky. Let’s leave it at that. Preseason Rank #42, 2011 Projections: 12-8/3.65/1.26/160, Final Numbers: 9-5/2.31/1.09/104
25. Jeremy Hellickson – Member what I said about Cueto? No? I just said it Mr. Short-Term Memory. He got lucky. Yeah, Hellickson did too. In a huge way. 2.95 ERA vs. 4.72 xFIP and a 5.57 K-rate. Can anyone say Blechellickson? Sure, you can. It’s Hellickson with a Blec. Preseason Rank #64, 2011 Projections: 9-5/3.60/1.10/140, Final Numbers: 13-10/2.95/1.15/117
26. Ryan Vogelsong – As will be a recurring theme that won’t emerge until January of 2012, just about all of the pitchers that ended up in this top 40 that were unranked, I won’t like next year. Except Pineda. Vogelsong left a bunch of men on base, walked hitters, didn’t strike out guys… He looked like a fantasy number two but he’s really a four to five. Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 13-7/2.71/1.25/139
27. Shaun Marcum – Tale of two pitchers with Marcum and Greinke. I liked both of them in the preseason and they both produced, but I still felt disappointed by their end of the year numbers. Hmm, that’s not really a tale. With Marcum, I gave some lofty expectations, telling you he was going to start the All-Star Game. Yeah, that turned out as bonkers as it sounded even at the time. I thought Marcum could step up his K-rate in the NL, instead it took a small step backwards and we were actually lucky to get the ERA we did get. It worked out; it could’ve easily backfired. Preseason Rank #33, 2011 Projections: 15-8/3.35/1.15/185, Final Numbers: 13-7/3.54/1.16/158
28. Zack Greinke – He had a 10.54 K/9 and a 2.56 xFIP. Who are you, Ricky Nolasco? How dare you try to confuse Murray Chass! Or Murray Chass Bono. Preseason Rank #17, 2011 Projections: 15-9/3.50/1.18/200, Final Numbers: 16-6/3.83/1.20/201
29. Jon Lester – One of the biggest disappointments, but at least he wasn’t Liriano. And you were wondering how long it would be until I mentioned Liriano. Hey, at least I didn’t mention Morneau. Oh, wait. Preseason Rank #7, 2011 Projections: 17-9/3.30/1.18/220, Final Numbers: 15-9/3.47/1.26/182
30. Ervin Santana – One of my misses in the preseason. I was done with him going into 2011 because of his yawnstipating 2010 and 2009. Now not to turn every square peg into a round one, I wasn’t totally wrong on Ervin. He outperformed his xFIP (3.93) by a decent amount. He did produce more ground balls and upped his K-rate ever so slightly. All in all or some other idiomatic phrase, Ervin gave us some magic. Preseason Rank #51, 2011 Projections: 13-10/4.30/1.32/150, Final Numbers: 11-12/3.38/1.22/178
31. Gio Gonzalez – In my tier of guys I kinda love for a third starter, there was Marcum, Daniel Hudson, Gio Gonzalez and Volquez. To one-up Meatloaf, 3 out of 4 ain’t bad. Seriously, everyone talks about how pitchers aren’t predictable, but I do a pretty good job of picking them out. BTW, this kinda made me laugh, in the preseason I said, “(Gio) went 13 innings over the 30 inning Verducci threshold last year, but Verducci’s a crackpot who told you to avoid F-Her, Latos and Josh Johnson in 2010.” Ha, Verducci. What a jizzie-joke. I wonder if he puts all pitchers under 25 years old on a dart board, or if he puts a picture of the pitcher on the dart and sees if he can hit the board. Preseason Rank #35, 2011 Projections: 12-8/3.60/1.28/195, Final Numbers: 16-12/3.12/1.32/197
32. Javier Vazquez – Then in my tier of guys I kinda l0ve as my fourth starter were Vazquez, Garza, Zimmermann, Hellickson and James McDonald. Quite a few hits in there too. Yeah, I did like Vazquez last preseason only to have Rudy badger me to drop him in our 12-team NL-Only league. A league where middle relievers were owned, forget about finding a starter with a rotation job. Fongool my life. Preseason Rank #61, 2011 Projections: 12-10/3.75/1.25/170, Final Numbers: 13-11/3.69/1.18/162
33. Mat Latos – On the Verducci list this year was Latos, Bumgarner, Price, Beachy and Gio Gonzalez. One of my favorite parts of the offseason is hearing how he justifies the previous year’s misses. Preseason Rank #19, 2011 Projections: 9-7/3.50/1.10/160, Final Numbers: 9-14/3.47/1.18/185
34. Kyle Lohse – I would’ve had a hard time picking up Lohse in September even after he had 5 solid months. That’s how much I trust him. Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 14-8/3.39/1.17/111
35. Matt Garza – He was in my early season difference between ERA and xFIP articles that told you he was going to be much better, then he went ahead and made me look like a genius. Though I still can’t spell genius without a spellchecker. Preseason Rank #62, 2011 Projections: 12-8/3.75/1.27/165, Final Numbers: 10-10/3.32/1.26/197
36. Alexi Ogando – God, his Ks were terrible. I know, I know, it’s only one category. But they’re not. They’re a category that every other category can hinge on. Strike guys out and they don’t get on base and it lowers your ERA and WHIP and gives you a chance for Wins. Sure, there’s other ways pitchers can get hitters out, but they’re not as straightforward. I like straightforward! Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 13-8/3.51/1.14/126
37. Michael Pineda – Now he struck people out. I already went over my Michael Pineda 2012 fantasy. In that article, there’s German women dancing in lederhosen. BTW, shouldn’t more than one German be Germen? Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 9-10/3.74/1.10/173
38. Justin Masterson – I Cameron Maybin’d Masterson this year. Was all about him in 2010, but then when I should’ve actually been in on him I Mr. Bungled it. Though I did recover quickly and ended up with him on some teams because I grabbed him off waivers in April-ish. Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 12-10/158/3.21/1.28
39. Cory Luebke – And with a bullet… The first hodgepadre! Earlier in this post (I think it was this post… Jesus Montero, what am I going on like 1300 words? Offseason is supposed to be easier for me, crimey a river, Timberlake), I said there’s no unranked pitchers that I will like again next year except Pineda. Luebke will probably be liked too, depending on January Grey’s mood ring color. January Grey, “I hocked my mood ring for blow.” Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 6-10/3.29/1.07/154
40. Josh Collmenter – Yeah, Collmenter wasn’t that good. An under 6 K-rate? As the French say, “Parlez vous crap.” (The French don’t say that.) Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 10-10/3.38/1.07/100
On September 7th, Kyle Farnsworth entered a 4-3 game like he had so many times before. No one knows how many times because no one’s bothered to look, or at least no one I’ve come across. This September game was played during the day in Tampa with the temperature listed as: Indoors. When the mercury first hit Indoors, many of the fans knew this day was going to be different than all but four previous Rays games. Farnsworth blew the save. Then on September 10th, with the temperature once again “Indoors” — eerie! — Farnsworth once again blew a save, but instead of blaming his stuff, he blamed his elbow. It was a little tender like a battered piece of the unidentifiable parts of the chicken. With Farnsworth out nursing his elbow, Peralta should see the majority of the saves, but it could be a committee. I imagine Farnsworth is gonna be out a week maybe two, but I’d wait for official word before dropping him. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Matt Moore – Rays are promoting their top pitching prospect. In real baseball news, this is exciting. In Double and Triple-A this year, he had a 1.92 ERA and 210 Ks in 155 innings. That’s prettay, prettay good. I’d like to see what kind of gas this guy is cooking with. Eminem at a BBQ: “Yo, Em, these burgers taste funny.” Eminem, “I guess that’s why they call it propane.” In fantasy, Moore’s kinda whatever in redraft leagues. He’ll get maybe one start, and the rest will be a relief role. In keeper leagues, he should owned already and if he’s not, no time like the present.
James Shields – 8 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 10 baserunners, 5 Ks as Shhhields quiets the Sawx.
B.J. Upton – 4-for-4, 4 RBIs, 3 runs and his 20th homer. That’s right! You’re not the Secretaryman, you’re not the Administrativeassistantman, you’re the Bossman! Now take charge!
Doug Fister – 7 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks. Brilliant once again. On a side note, with all the mentions of Fister recently our web traffic looking for anything but fantasy baseball has tripled. Come looking for one thing, leave realizing you need to refine your search query.
Chase Utley – He passed a concussion test. I wonder if he just kept choosing C. The Phils will probably leave Utley on the sidelines for a while longer, unless the Mets and Braves win 17 of their next 5 games.
Stephen Strasburg – 3 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, 4 Ks. He threw 56 pitches on Tuesday, but the Nats stretched him out yesterday with 57 pitches. The Nats also said they won’t put Strasburg on a strict pitch count. If I may read between the lines, that actually says, “Please buy tickets for the games Strasburg starts even if he may average only four innings.”
Ian Desmond – 3-for-5 with his 8th homer. This after a 1-for-11 stretch, which sounds like me at YogaWorks. I nailed the Downward Facing Dog and pulled up short on all other poses.
Tim Hudson – 6 IP, 6 ER. All the good you did all year, Hudson, and this? On the last day of my H2H playoffs? I didn’t order a bitter pill to swallow. Why would you serve that up? BTW, it’s perfectly fitting that we lost a tiebreaker in our H2H playoffs this week because our opponent beat us 5-4 during the regular season. To that I say, “Plouffe.”
Chipper Jones – 2-for-4 with his 2nd homer in the last week as he hits .348 over that span. As long as the Braves continue to roll Glass Chipper out there in a giant bubble so he doesn’t get hurt, he has some value.
Jake Peavy – Shutdown for the season. Backdate that to 2009.
Adam Jones – Sat out Saturday and Sunday with a sore ankle. In the past month, he has 2 homers and 1 steal. I’m guessing you can find something better on waivers.
Johan Santana – Mets announced that Johan wouldn’t rejoin the team this year (after saying he would return then saying he wouldn’t then saying he would then saying he wouldn’t then saying he would). Thanks for the re-re-reconfirmation!
Bobby Parnell – On Friday, Terry Collins said Parnell might not be the closer. Then on Saturday he said he was the closer. The Mets say no while nodding their heads yes.
C.J. Wilson – 8 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 11 Ks. Nolan Ryan said Wilson’s start made him almost as happy as noogying Robin Ventura.
Adrian Beltre – 4-for-5, 3 RBIs, 2 runs and 2 homers yesterday, 3-for-5 and a homer on Saturday and now has a 16 game hitting streak. If you add all that up it spells, well, nothing because numbers don’t add up to words.
Troy Tulowitzki – Missed Sunday’s game and will sit out on Tuesday with a sore hipowitzki.
Drew Pomeranz – 5 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 2 Ks. Solid start from the top prospect. To start him here, you had to be crazy like the first wrestler who thought it was a good idea to cut his own forehead with a razor, but still.
Eric Young Jr. – 2-for-4 with 3 steals. Now has 21 steals in 142 ABs. Imagine the Rockies ever gave him 600 ABs. The sun could take that summer off causing of how brightly I’d be beaming.
Josh Collmenter – 4 IP, 6 ER vs. the Padres. Is it me or do the Padres only hit at the least opportune time?
Edinson Volquez – 5 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 3 Ks. That was 4 walks vs. 3 Ks. Good to see Edinson doesn’t let coaching or minor league stints get in the way of him staying true to himself.
Lonnie Chisenhall – 2-for-5 yesterday and has 3 homers in the last five games. In other words, Lonnie done gone going going gonnie. Of course he was on my bench in a weekly league. Don’t cry for me, Razzball reader. Your tears will just make me feel worse.
Alejandro De Aza – 2-for-3, 2 runs and 2 steals. Now has 4 homers and 8 steals in only 39 games played. That’s better than, say, Adam Jones. Cust kayin’.
Kevin Youkilis – Will play through a hernia. That’s number 137th on a list of things I’d like to play through. Right after a storm of frogs like in Magnolia and right before a large man standing just outside the batter’s box throwing a bucket of amniotic fluid on me.
Alex Rodriguez – Will sit out for 3-4 days since his thumb is too close to discomfort starring Jm J. Bullock.
Yovani Gallardo – 7 IP, 2 ER, 4 baserunners, 12 Ks. Y to the Izz-O, V to the izz-A. Fo’ sheezy my neezy bout time you looked like a number one arm so freezy.
Erick Aybar – 4-for-5 with a steal. Now hitting near .350 in the month of September, but only one steal (which came yesterday). It’s a’ight.
Mike Stanton – Was pulled from Friday’s game because he couldn’t run at full speed. Jack McKeon said, after putting in his teeth, that Stanton could return on Monday.
Javier Vazquez – 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks. He was the only featured name in my borderline starters post for Sunday. So far that post has been a bit hit or miss with a lot more hits than I would like. Teach me to put any faith in John Lannan.
Anibal Sanchez – On Saturday, he threw his 2nd one-hitter of the season. All 129 fans in attendance at the next Marlins game will receive opposite gender names with a notary on hand to make it official.
Finally Jim Mora and Robert Horry will pay attention to their fantasy baseball teams. Last week got all flummoxed with all that Irene business. Not my fault the patent is still pending on my weather machine. This week let’s hope we are back to some sense of normalcy. Wait, off course we are… Strasburg is back! It’s like the Beatles playing Shea in ‘63. No, not really, but it’s still exciting. Some playoff systems lock their rosters so if your reading this to just read this, thanks for being a faithful reader. Others, start as many as you can. Stats are stats. I would rather go down fighting than sit there like a bump on a log. Well, good luck this week in both the fantasy baseball playoffs and the first week of fantasy football. (Please keep in mind that pitchers and matchups change.)
ONE START OPTIONS:
9/7
Bruce Chen @ Oak – Moscoso
R.A. Dickey @ Fla – Hensley
Joe Saunders @Col – Millwood
Aaron Harang vs. SF – Cain
9/8
Mike Minor @ NYM – Gee
Luke Hochevar @ Sea – Vargas
9/9
Mark Buehrle vs. Cle – Gomez
Bud Norris vs. Was – Hernandez
Brandon McCarthy @ Tex – Lewis
Brett Cecil vs. Bal – Guthrie
Henderson Alvarez (Bos vs. Beckett, Bal vs. Reyes) Anyone who reads my posts knows I love me some ground ball pitchers, sop them up with a biscuit. Temptation is there to sit him against the Sawx, but you do what you do.
Jake Westbrook (Mil vs. Wolf, Atl vs. Hudson) I am going to run out of biscuits this week. Pitching better, I wanna pat him on the head and say it’s too late for the Cards, but I hate breaking peoples’ spirits.
James McDonald (Hou vs. Sosa, Fla vs. Vazquez) Return of the Mack…. Yes, I did. Wow, that was my jam when I was crossing over out of my high top fade days. His WHIP makes me do the sour pickle face, home starts make me do the pee pee dance but in a good way.
Fausto Carmona (Det vs. Porcello, @Chw vs. Stewart) His name translated means unsolvable enigma. That’s really not true, but it was fun to type. You know his whole story, he has been on this weekly post more than anyone. Buy two-ply just in case.
John Lannan (LAD vs. Kuroda, Hou vs. Rodriguez) Home sweet home. ERA is way lower and he needs to keep the place clean for when Stras’ pitches.
Josh Collmenter (@Col vs. Rogers, SD vs. LeBlanc) Start all D-Backs, no matter when, no matter where. That’s my new theory. It has replaced “eatin’ ain’t cheatin.”
Javier Vazquez (NYM vs. Capuano, @Pit vs. McDonald) I don’t know who is more of an agita inducer, him or Fausto. Could be the Montezuma’s revenge kicking in. Ks are always nice and I would always like to play for my great grandfather.
Henry Sosa (@Pit vs. McDonald, @Was vs. Strasburg) I really wanted to work both Stras’ starts in here, but left Ted Lilly at the bagel store. 27-year-old rookie basically getting by on deception. Is this week’s “it’s 2 o’clock and I don’t want to sleep alone special.”
Felipe Paulino (@Oak vs. Harden, @Sea vs. Beavan) I was having a debate with a friend, who would be a better love therapist Phil Collins or REO Speedwagon? You’re asking yourself, “How does this relate to Felipe Paulino?” It doesn’t but thanks for reading and now you’re thinking of Phil Collins. Mission accomplished.
Wade Miley (@Col vs. Cook, SD vs. Stauffer) I like anyone who plays for the Snakes right now. Team is gritty with neck tattoos and a gruff disposition. Sounds like I was reading a profile off of American Grizzly.
Chris Capuano (@Fla vs. Vazquez, CHC vs. Wells) You’re welcome, I gave you 11 guys this week. Mainly because I can’t count.
