For those looking for pictures of ballplayers taking off their ballcap and recapping themselves, you’re in the wrong place! Though, sometimes I get the sense people in the comments aren’t wearing pants, so if that does it for you, there ya go. Oh, who are we kidding, I’m not wearing pants. Pants are for conformist sissies! Pound for pound, the top 20 3rd basemen for 2016 fantasy baseball were as good as any other position. In fact (oh, geez, here goes Grey adding on), Matt Carpenter was the 20th best 2nd baseman and samesies here, and was only the 22nd best 1st baseman, so not much more depth there. This recap ranking is from our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater with my comments. The Player Rater allows me to be impartial while looking at how I ranked players in the preseason. Now, let’s get this, young money. Anyway, here’s the top 20 3rd basemen for 2016 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:Please, blog, may I have some more?
We’re gonna find out if the top 20 shortstops are as Ken Bonerific as the top 20 2nd basemen. Hint: they are. Damn, I gotta work on building suspense. That hint pretty much gives the whole kit away and tacks the kaboodle onto its back as it’s walking out the door. Goodbye, kit and kaboodle, I just gave you away for nothing. I am very charitable. When I go to Whole Foods, I only throw a small hissy fit when they ask me to donate money, “Take a dollar out of the $12 per pound olive bar and you donate!” To recap, this final ranking is from our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater with my comments. The Player Rater allows me to be impartial while looking at how I ranked them in the preseason. Anyway, here’s the top 20 shortstops for 2016 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:Please, blog, may I have some more?
We already went over the top 20 catchers and the top 20 1st basemen for 2016 fantasy baseball. Today, we dip our big toe into the top 20 2nd basemen pool. Okay, it was actually more like a lake where lots of spring breakers are partying, and, instead of throwing beads at girls, they’re throwing 30 home run hitters. It’s a little scary, for unstints (how I say it), that there were only six 2nd basemen that you wanted to own all year in 2015, and, this year, there’s a 30-homer hitter 2nd baseman that didn’t even make the top 25 2nd basemen — Jedd, you Gyorko! 1st basemen were still a little deeper, but barely. 2nd basemen, and the soon to be released shortstops got their sea legs in 2016. To recap this crap (rhyme points!), this final ranking for last year is from our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater with my comments. The Player Rater allows me to be impartial while looking at how I ranked them in the preseason. Anyway, here’s the top 20 2nd basemen for 2016 fantasy baseball and how they compared to where I originally ranked them:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Mets outfielder Michael Conforto was 2-for-3 last night, scoring two runs with his 12th home run, and three RBI. Could this be the start of something big? Who’s Conforto, you ask? Lol, you pleb–Don’t you know anything? He’s just an uber prospect for the New York Mets. *Sips cold brew coffee, adjust horn rimmed glasses, strokes beard* Sigh. You’ve probably never heard of him. Have I mentioned he’s the hipster’s favorite player? Do I really have to mention that? The man hit .365 with four homers, 11 doubles and 18 RBI in April, then completely fell of the planet. He was busy working on his documentary film/visual novel/app for dogs. Sitting in an abandoned warehouse turned secret speakeasy/corn hole arena/craft cider house/live-bluegrass music cafe, I sip my gluten-free organic cold brew coffee (cage-free beans, obv) and curl my finely waxed mustache, pondering what life would be like with a fantasy baseball championship. I put down my Gabriel García Márquez book (I only read South American novelists), let my hair free out of its man-bun, and realize that Michael Conforto could be the key to everything. All that magical realism is really paying off! Sure, he struggled mightily all year, and sure, Jay Bruce threatens to steal some of his playing time. But Bruce is also 2-for-31 (.065 BA) in the past two weeks, and Conforto’s got all the upside. If I were you, and I’m not, because I’m obviously way hipper than you, I’d grab Michael Conforto, who’s available in about 90% of fantasy leagues, before he gets hot. In fact, this could only make you cooler because when he does finally break out, that means you picked him up before he was cool. And there’s nothing cooler than that!
Here’s what else happened in fantasy baseball Friday night:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I don’t understand this. The Padres’ Triple-A affiliate made a run for the Triple-A championship against the Yankees’ affiliate, so the Padres were holding down their top prospects to play in the championship. On the surface, it seems straightforward enough. Making run for championship, want best players there. Okay, I get that part. The part where I get lost, WHY DO YOU CARE IF YOU WIN A TRIPLE-A CHAMPIONSHIP?! Sorry, my keyboard got sticky the other day when Giancarlo returned. Don’t ask. The Padres are in the business of winning AAA championships? I don’t remember the Yankees keeping Gary Sanchez, Aaron Judge and Tyler Austin in Triple-A to help their Triple-A team. I’d love to go into the Padres’ front office, throw some furniture against a wall and start screaming, “Let’s win some major league games for a change!” They need a organization-wide readjustment, and Grey Albright, Fantasy Master Lothario (don’t abbreviate it), is just the man to do it! So, with this said, the Padres called up Hunter Renfroe and Manuel Margot (and some other guys). Margot and Renfroe, who sounds like a name that exists to only be said by Scooby Doo, are top 100 prospects. Margot is straight SAGNOF this late in the year, maybe could provide a few steals in the last ten days, and Renfroe is the exact opposite, with a chance to provide a few dingers. They’re not going to make much impact in ten days. Too bad they had a Triple-A playoff run to attend to first. Which they lost! Anyway, here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
If you’re still focused on fantasy baseball, pat yourself on the back for either making it into the playoffs or at least being in the playoff hunt. Here’s an interesting, and possibly false, stat. I started the season with thirty-one followers. I am currently down to eighteen. Seventeen of those eighteen have put themselves into a playoff position by reading my posts. The one follower that is not is my wife. She doesn’t even play fantasy baseball, she just reads my posts every week to make sure I am actually writing a post when she asks me to do something and I tell I can’t because I have to write an article. Ok, so I don’t really know how many followers I had or still have, or how many have actually benefited from my guidance, but I do know this. One hundred percent of my readers that are in the playoffs are actually in the playoffs. They’ve done studies, you know. 60% of the time, it works every time.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Stephen Strasburg hitting the disabled list puts the punctuation mark on the end of my fantasy baseball season. This has not been a season I’d like to remember. Despite having the third most points scored in my head-to-head points league, I am sitting one spot out of last place. The only take home is that I will have the second pick in next year’s draft. Can’t wait. Seriously though I couldn’t be more ready for fantasy football at this point. However, I still have an obligation to my four readers. Wait, do I? Grey? Ok fine! Not everyone is in the same position as me (or is it “as I”). I guess it’s whatever I write. It’s not like the grammar police is one of my four followers. And if they are, what are the chances they will correct me.
So where did I go wrong this season? Coming off a championship season, how did I fall so far? Was it just bad luck or bad decisions? Or was it the fact that I had last pick?
Note: My Fantasy Football RCL is almost full and drafts tonight! Join here…Please, blog, may I have some more?
When I was fresh out of college, I worked at a web company (everyone did in the 90s). There was four of us. The other three had real job titles; I was the gofer/do-whatever. It was about a month before I was going back to school for my Master’s. I had no intention of keeping the job. Honestly, I doubt they would’ve kept me for that full month if I weren’t leaving. I failed at everything they assigned me, but they kept giving me new tasks, hoping I’d succeed. The only task I seemed capable of was heating up pre-cooked sausages from Trader Joe’s. I made sausages on a grill for three weeks straight, so, when I finally did leave, they gave me a plaque that reads, “Who wants some sausages?” This brings me to the sudden and incomprehensible rise of Yulieski Guerriel. The Astros are that company, and YuGu is me. The Astros seem between a rock of “We really want this guy to succeed” and “We have about a month left and we’re just hoping something works.” Yulieski hasn’t failed in the minors, he’s looked completely lost. He hit .118 in Double-A, was promoted to Triple-A and hit .222. I could see grabbing Guerriel in all leagues to see if he can get lucky, and figure out how to make something other than pre-cooked sausages for lunch, but the Astros are not promoting him because of how well he’s looked. They’re promoting him because there’s about a month left. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I had an idea to make the Olympics more watchable. You know how you watch it now and you’re like, “Damn, he just ran the length of two football fields in 20 seconds? I mean, it looked like he was going fast, but the guy next to him ran it in 21 seconds, so it’s hard to tell exactly how fast he was running.” Enter my idea: in every event, there should one normal person competing so we get a better idea of how great the Olympians are next to average schmos. Tell me you wouldn’t watch the platform diving if between the North Korean and Chinese diver, I was there trying to get the nerve up to jump from three floors up, then plunging awkwardly into the water on my back. Or running next to Usain Bolt, doing an 85-second 200 meter dash. So, this brings me to Kris Bryant, who right now is making other major leaguers look like ‘normal people.’ Yesterday, he went 5-for-5, 4 runs, 5 RBIs with his 29th and 30th homers. On our Player Rater, he’s in the top five for the season. Member in the preseason when people were saying Bryant was going to strike out too much to draft in the 1st round? Those people are enjoying themselves some Jose Abreu! For 2017, it’s gonna be hard to rank Bryant much later than the top five, as he enters only his age-25 season. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, Mookie Betts went 4-for-6, 4 runs, 8 RBIs with three homers (24, 25, 26). In the long, storied history of the Red Sox, Mookie Betts is only the 2nd Sawx player to have two three-homer games in a season; the other is Ted Williams. Mookie Ballgame. The Splendid Splurger. The Greatest Mookie Who Ever Lived With Apologies To Mookie Wilson and Mookie Blaylock. The You Can’t Make This Up Because Your Imagination Can’t Come Up With Anything This Beautiful. The Hamilton Musical In Baseball Form. The Unfrozen Ted Williams. I don’t think it’s hyperbole — which is not the chamber Michael Jackson used to sleep in — to think Mookie Betts will be a top three hitter in 2017 fantasy baseball drafts. He’s now cemented himself in the three hole in one of the best offensive parks, surrounded by a team that is always potent on offense. Betts or Trout? There’s a legit case for Betts, The Splendid Splurger! Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Psyche! Before we get into the roundup, just wanted to announce our RCL fantasy football leagues are signing up. So, go over there and rush the QB! I’m pretty sure that doesn’t stand for Q-Bert. Anyway II, here’s the roundup:Please, blog, may I have some more?