Has there been any “sleeper” more hyped this season than Charlie Morton? It seems like we’re constantly being reminded of the spike in velocity, the swing and miss stuff, the combination of swinging strikes, and groundball rate. Knowing all this I was dying to profile Morton and see what all the noise is about. Speaking of Noise, my Pittsburgh scout, and favorite right testicle Dr. Kenneth Noisewater, has a basket full of hot takes on Morton, that mostly consist of different ways to say Charlie Morton sucks. Perhaps Noisey is right, perhaps all the lemmings in the fantasy industry are right. Much like the ATLiens that raised me to be an emotionally well adjusted gangster, I just stay in the middle and drop bombs, mostly in the toilet. I stay regular ladies and gents. Let’s take a closer look at this “new and improved” Charlie Morton, and see if it’s in fact a new recipe, or the same re-packed garbage.

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Don’t get me wrong, I love playing roto fantasy baseball. But as I look despairingly at my overflowing DL slots in my leagues, wondering whether I have the stamina to keep grinding away at this six-month marathon, this war of attrition, I’m reminded all over again why I also love DFS. DFS is the oasis you stumble into from the Roto Desert, just often enough for a little refreshment and to refill your water bottles, when your roto camels are so loaded up with DTD and DL’d players that their knees are buckling and your first-round picks are obviously so parched they haven’t had the strength to get more than 3 hits in the last week (I’m looking at you, Miggy). At the gates of DFS, Jose Altuve hands you a glass of champagne and says, “Welcome to Fantasy Island.” You walk in and the place is swarming with star players, just lying about under the palm trees, waiting for you so they can help make you rich. You can have any player you want (for a price, of course). Chris Sale? Sure! Bryce Harper? Why not! Mike Trout? Go for it, if you’ve got still got room in your salary cap! I feel like a kid in a candy store, getting to build the most fantasiest fantasy FanDuel lineup I possibly can. Sometimes that build is easy and sometimes it’s a challenge and sure, it doesn’t always work out, but you know what? You just shrug it all off and try again next time.

Here endeth my little ode to DFS; now let’s go ahead and sample today’s buffet at the FanDuel oasis.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot  for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

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I apologize in advance for the rushed post this week, but due to natural circumstances, I’ve got about ten minutes to put this puppy together. That’s not including the hour or so it takes to calculate all the numbers I need to figure everything out. In week 4 Ryan Zimmerman scored a total of 51 points. Ryan Zimmerman? That’s right. Zimmerman hasn’t been fantasy relevant since 2013, but his best year was back in 2009. I wrote about him yesterday, and today I’m going to plagiarize myself.

“Among players with at least 40 plate appearances, Ryan Zimmerman has the best points per plate appearances (1.18). This number will vary from league to league based on its scoring system, but regardless, he’s up there. If I said I saw this coming I’d be lying. And even though I’m comfortable with lying, I still can’t say I saw this coming. If it were me I’d sell high. He’s bound to find his way onto the gloriously overused 10-day DL. But as Grey would say, I wouldn’t sell him for a used Squatty Potty and a pack of wet wipes, but I’d certainly explore my options.” -malamoney

Ten people picked Zimmerman, including the winner. After Zimmerman, Trea Turner posted 48 points. And then Daniel Murphy and Hernan Perez each scored 39. Seven people, including the winner, picked Turner. Twenty-one people, once again including the winner, picked Murphy. That means that the winner picked the top three players for the week. That’s a perfect score. There isn’t, but there should probably be a bonus for doing so. I guess winning will have to suffice. No one picked Perez.

The unanimous winner of week four was Denhusk with 138 points. Congratulations on an awesome week and welcome to the playoffs. Out of curiosity, did you happen to get your hands on a legit copy of Grays Sports Almanac?

Here are the top five finishers from Week 4:

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In 2008, Eric Thames was drafted by the Blue Jays. At the very end of Spring Training in 2012, he won the starting left fielder job over Travis Snider (it was a fierce competition, but in our house, it was always Team Thames). It did not go well and by August 2012, he’d been traded to Seattle for relief pitcher Steve Delabar. (Steve Delabar who, now relegated to the Cleveland minor league system, was given an 80-game suspension for PED use this week.) Shortly thereafter, Thames took his talents and his fine, fine biceps to the Korean league, and the rest, as they say, is history. As a Jays fan, I’m pretty depressed about all this back-story (well, I’m Jays-depressed generally right now, TBH; the highlight of my baseball week was Chris Coghlan’s audition for the Cirque du Soleil), but I’m going to make myself feel better by building a whole damn FanDuel lineup around Eric Thames. I choose to believe that this Saturday is not the day he stops hitting, and this matchup versus lefty Jaime Garcia, at home in Milwaukee, is the gift that all mournful baseball girls (and boys) deserve. I’m slotting Mike Trout in as well and filling in the gaps around them both. Thankfully, there are also some good pitchers on the slate today who won’t break the bank.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

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I’m salivating about my hitters against Mr. Home run allowed Jered Weaver and his 84 MPH fastball in Chase Field.  Weaver has allowed a whopping seven home runs in twenty three innings this year.  But wait, he gave up 37 in 178 innings last year.  In fact, Mr. Weaver has given up 68 home runs in his last 360 innings.  And half of those innings have come in Angel stadium and Petco Park.  These are not home run havens, need I say more.  I should?  Well ok then.  Paul Goldschmidt ($4,300) has been hot hitting .522 with 2 homers in his last 7.  He’s 3 for 4 with a homer against Weaver and he loves home cooking at Chase.  Meanwhile, Jake Lamb ($3,800) has hit .293 this year with .333/.614 split against righties, and Lamb hit .291/.621 in the first half last year before he injured his hand.  Really, Dbacks galore so take your pick among Lamb, Goldy, A.J. Pollock, Chris Owings, David Peralta, and even Brandon Drury (if he’s not hobbled today; check those LUs).  Weaver will be giving, I promise.  There are other stacking targets like the Cards against Matt Latos, the high-powered Indians against Mike Fiers, or the obvious Coors stacks, but I still dream of a Jered matchup .  That 84 MPH heater against Senz’s at 94?  Is 84 MPH actually a heater?  Exactly.  This is why I dream of Weaver today.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond?  Well be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.  Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

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Even being 1/10th of the way through the season, it is never too early to see some trends forming.  The trends I am learning you about are the bullpen usage rates.  Not every team follows an A to B to C type formulas, and it would be nice, but usage rates in certain situations, even 15 games into the season, peak their heads out for fantasy usefulness.  The ancillary stats that no one really notices, and that I use all year, are runners inherited and appearances with the lead.  All key factors for what a reliever is and what they are at sustaining.  The inherited runners stat is a ruiner, not only for themselves but for the pitchers they are replacing.  Basically a sad trombone in the case of reliever sad trombones.  The appearances with the lead factor is what we all eat our Holds and gravy with.  It basically says that they are pitching with a lead, granted, holds are scored the same as a save.  So all that less than four runs runner on deck shenanigans that people made up for it to qualify.  So welcome to the first Holds/bullpens post of the year as we embark on a road far less traveled then it should.  Holds matter, regardless of color.

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If good pitching beats good hitting most of the time, what does bad pitching do against good hitting?  Or even bad hitting?  Someone, somewhere (ok, in San Diego) will have to have a big day against Patrick Corbin.  I think it’s more than one player and yes, even the bad hitters.  I like my righty hitters against Corbin even in Petco.  Patrick has been terrible since coming back from TJS.  Last year he allowed 24 homers in 155 innings with a .286 BAA.  This year he’s only allowed 1 homer but still a .303 BAA with 7 BB and only 7 K in 16 innings.  Maybe he’ll get it back some day, but that day won’t be today.  Manuel Margot at $2,800?  Yes please.  Hunter Renfroe at $2,900?  He’s only got 1 K in 19 AB’s against lefties.  I think K rates stabilize the quickest so I’m in there as well.  Your usual suspects for the Padres…well suspect – Wil Myers at $3,800 – should also be considered.  Outside that, most (ALL) of my picks are against bad pitching.  Is there any other way?  Once again I’ll do it my way.  Ok, Frank’s way!  Either way….no regerts this week.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond?  Well be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.  Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

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Such a weird week of Jodie Foster references at Razzball, and we’re only to Wednesday.  What will be tomorrow?  Joe Panik Room?  Okay, raise your hand if you saw Starling Marte being suspended for Nandrolone.  The one person raising his or her hand is the person supplying Marte with Nandrolone.  Take ’em away, boys!  I just made my 2nd imaginary arrest.  My first was when I imagined arresting Ben Carson for driving with his eyes closed.  This is like Pollock 2016 all over again, except instead of breaking his elbow; Marte broke our trust.  As punishment, Starling Marte should get an 80-game suspension or a “We were all rooting for you” Tyra GIF tattooed on his back.  I think Gregory Popolanco turned him in, with help from Freese.  Adam Frazier will get a regular job in the outfield since the Pirates said Austin Meadows isn’t ready yet.  Bee oh oh.  Boo.  I grabbed Meadows in all mixed leagues for the sheer excitement, but within about an hour I realized Meadows is unlikely coming up until at least June and dropped him.  As for Marte, you can likely lose him in most redraft leagues, and, for some of us, we’re having a “Don’t have Marte” party!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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Finally, the moment you’ve all been waiting for. Who won week one? Before I answer that question let’s talk about the top batters from the week. Paul Goldschmidt and J.T. Realmuto led the way with 32 points. Goldschmidt is an Unpickable. Despite this fact, he was picked by one competitor, turning 32 points into zero. Realmuto was not picked by anyone. The next top hitter was Brandon Belt, who totaled 31 points. Belt was selected by four people. One of these people was the winner. In addition to Belt, the winner also chose Ian Kinsler and Justin Turner. The winner from week one, with a total of 70 points, was Chris Montgomery. Congratulations Chris on earning a bid into the playoffs in just the first week.

Here are the top five finishers from Week 1…

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Before we jump right into this draft recap, let’s go over a little bit of background about the league and its details. This isn’t like the typical RCL 5×5 rotisserie league we often talk about in this space. LOEG is a 10×10 head-to-head keeper league, with 10 teams and four keepers per team from year to year. The league has been around for something like ten years and has been graced by the presence of yours truly for the past five.

Since the categories, scoring, and rules are a little different in this league I’ll break down all the details below. I think it’s important to break this down a bit first because not only do I want to bore you to death, but I want you to have all the information while you are going over the results and making fun of my team in the comments section. Anyway, here we go:

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