B.J. Upton went o-for-3 or one-for-four if you count him hitting the outfield wall. You say unfeeling, I say how dare he start in front of Desmond Jennings. I sat down to watch this game wearing my dress made of doilies with Desmond Jennings’s face on each doilie, i.e., my Desmond tutu, only to find him benched. How dare you, sir. In fact, I’m bringing out the douchey one word per sentence thing. How.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Took a few years, but the Twins found out that youth is wasted on the Young as they sang, “May You Stay (Away) Forever, Young.” Yesterday, the Detroit Tigers became the first club to acquire both Meat Hooks. A distinction that I’m not sure other clubs wanted.Please, blog, may I have some more?
And all the pitchers in the top 10, please allow Stephen Strasburg to bump thee. Let’s see what we can say about Strasburg that hasn’t been said before. Mikhail Gorbachev’s port wine birthmark on his head is actually Strasburg mid-windup. I don’t think that had been said before.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Linguist, academic and all-around good guy with a lot of free time on his hands, David Crystal says there’s been no definitive research on how many people are actually laughing out loud when they type out el oh el (Thanks, Wikipedia!). I’m guessing the number is less than 50% and the number of people actually rolling on the floor laughing when they type that dopey acronym is far less. I bring this up to impress on you the amount of things read on the internet that turn out to be false. With all that said (and it was a lot, wasn’t it?), the internet tells me the Yankees are going to promote Jesus Montero in the next couple of weeks. If you read that and no streamers or balloons fell from the ceiling, then pull the rip cord harder. In keeper leagues, he should be owned already. If he’s not, I’m assuming you’re in an NL-Only league or a mixed league filled with atheists. Back in February, the two thousand and eleventh year of Jesus Montero’s call up, I gave him the projections of 20/5/30/.290 in 100 at-bats. Still sounds about right. I’m a God, mortal! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Hanley Ramirez – Day-to-day with a sprained shoulder. That sounds like nothing for a guy who plays through injuries and just lives and breathes the game like he’s Luke Appling or some other old timey player. Unfortunately, that’s not Hanley Ramirez. My guess is he’ll miss at least five to seven games.Please, blog, may I have some more?