It feels like yesterday the baseball regular season started. You wrote “I heart baseball” in permanent marker on your arm, then you met a girl who wrote “I heart guys who heart baseball” on her arm, then, during sex in September, you screamed out “I love you, Tulo!” and now you don’t have baseball or your girlfriend. C’mon, calender, make like a soldier and turn to March. The only cure for the post-baseball season blues — recapping the preseason top twenty lists and being hand-fed Doritos. First up, Cool Ranch and our preseason Top 20 Catchers for 2010.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The 27-year-old, no-name rookie, Daniel Nava, came out of nowhere, hitting a grand slam on the first major league pitch he saw. This all came after not making his college team, working as their equipment manager, finally playing college ball, going undrafted in the major league draft then being cut by the Chico Outlaws, which I believe is the minor league affiliate for Chico’s Bail Bonds. Even his ESPN player photo makes it seem like he was in the Witness Protection Program. Shoot, maybe he is. If so, I hope Hermida starts his car for him. Eventually, Nava caught on with the Outlaws, impressed the Sawx and the rest is history. Nava is old for a rookie and his success at the majors may be short-lived, but he showed a good eye in the minors with modest pop. He could be a flash-in-the-pan, but he’s worth grabbing in AL-Only leagues and monitoring in mixed leagues. He may get bumped when Ellsbury returns and then it’s back to egg noodles and ketchup. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Josh Beckett – Played catch from 90 feet. Guess when he returns he’s going to pitch from 2nd base.Please, blog, may I have some more?
In a year where umpires like Joe West and Bill Hohn are doing all they can to show they are far from perfect, Jim Joyce went one step further by having his imperfection blow someone else’s perfection. It’s like that O.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Disgraceful List claimed two more yesterday, Josh Beckett and Grady Sizemore. Neither is a big surprise. Closest Grady Sizemore came to taking off this year was in his amateur Playgirl shoot. Even when he hit a home run, the rain washed it away. The Indians are talking about knee surgery for Grady. Turns out Tom Sizemore isn’t the only Sizemore with a joint problem. I’d DL Sizemore until more news surfaces, but, if recent history is any indication, new news (stutter much?) will be bad news. As for Josh Beckett, I’m more optimistic. He can miss a few weeks, put this back injury behind him (literally!) and return. Will he be effective on his return? What, I’m Nostradumbass? I don’t know, but it’s possible he has a decent half season. I wouldn’t trade for him, but I would pick him up off waivers and stash him. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Psyche! Before I jump into the roundup, quick bit of business. No one likes to have to ask for shizz, but this voting thing at the Refresh Challenge is for a good cause. To up the stakes, we’re donating a $100 gift card to Wal-Mart. All you have to do is vote and comment “Razzball” over at the voting site. The comment names will be chosen at random on Monday and the winner will be announced here. That link again is http://pep.si/abEtbm — Wow, I feel like George Clooney. Anyway II, here’s the roundup:
Trevor Hoffman – Probably should be headed to the Disgraceful List but in the meantime the Brewers say he won’t pitch for a few days while he works on his mechanics. Carlos Villanueva and Todd Coffey are the pickups, in that order. Or the reverse order if you’re dyslexic.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Brett Cecil appeared in the April 23rd version of the Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell. I liked his strikeout stuff and thought he was up to the task. He secretly confided in me it was a lot of pressure on him. He never had a mustachioed man ask anything of him, at least not one that wasn’t wearing a raincoat and no pants. His WHIP sits at 0.77 through 20 2/3 innings. Thank you, can I bring you your slippers? He has 21 Ks. Yup, more than a strikeout per inning. Last night, he had a perfect game in the 7th inning and ended up going 8 innings, 1 ER and 10 Ks. He’s getting a bit lucky, but he’s worth owning in all twelve team leagues, while ten teamers should hover their grabby hands just over his name. Honey, could you bring me a Dr.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Trevor Hoffman has been lights out all year. Maybe he jumped in the Cocoon pool. Octavio Dotel? The post office said they’re going to a five day week because of cutbacks and the amount of fan mail coming in for Dotel. Now hold the preceding up to a mirror. Dotel as a Pirate has done nothing except plunder his fantasy owners’ goodwill. Even Roger ain’t Jolly. The Hoff looks drunk. And Trevor too. The pickups for this duo of dud is Carlos Villanueva, Joel Hanrananananan, Brendan Donnelly, Evan Meek, Hawkins, Coffey, Shelley Duvall, the guy at Subway that kinda skeeves you out, the Polish Sausage in the 7th inning stretch race and Cher. Pick them up in that order. For full disclosure, I grabbed Hanaranananan because Villanueva was taken in all of my leagues. I didn’t go deeper than that. Some shituations just aren’t worth the ulcer. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Garrett Jones – 2-for-7, 1 RBI. After his first four at-bats yielded 4 Ks, Robot really turned it on. Fool him 5 times, shame on Robot.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jorge Posada’s going to hit 161 home runs (accounting for one rainout, of course), Granderson’s going to win the MVP and Big Papi still sucks. Oh, and Beckett’s record will be 0-25-1. Yes, a tie. My crystal ball doesn’t lie, don’t second guess it. Spring has sprung and baseball’s back. It’s a good time to be alive. The flowers smell different, don’t they? They smell like hot dogs. Right now, I feel like putting some endangered Chilean sea bass on the grill, an Olde English in an oversized cozy and kicking back for the next six months while the sounds of baseball dance in my head.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Went over the top 20 and top 10 for 2010 fantasy baseball. Now, friends, it’s time for the top 20 catchers for 2010 fantasy baseball. The top 20 catchers are the glass of warm milk right before you go to sleep. Hey, I just drafted Jorge Posada! Snooze. I love Kurt Suzuki this year! Yawn. I don’t draft top catchers in one catcher leagues. The fifth best catcher and the 15th best catcher are tomato, to-blah-to. Because I ignore the top catchers doesn’t mean I’m starting the top 20 catcher list at number twenty-one (Barajas? What’s Spanish for punt? Punta?); some of you might want to know the top catchers. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them draft Napoli. In two catcher leagues, catchers are a little more valuable, but I’d still prefer to avoid them. You can see other top 20 lists for 2010 fantasy baseball under 2010 Fantasy Baseball Rankings. Listed along with these catchers are my 2010 projections for each player and where the tiers begin and end. Anyway, here’s the top 20 catchers for 2010 fantasy baseball:
1.Please, blog, may I have some more?
It feels like yesterday that the baseball regular season started. We frolicked, hand in hand, through the season. You stopped to pick a flower and I said, “That dandelion looks like a French impressionist painting that you can see up close.” Then we giggled and blew the parachute off its stalk. Today, the parachute lands and I’m sad. The regular season is done. As an action movie sidekick once said right before he was about to be killed, “NOOOO!!!” There’s a cure for the post-baseball season blues — recapping the preseason top twenty lists and being hand fed Doritos.Please, blog, may I have some more?
In this corner — BJ Upton. In that corner — expectations. Should be TKO with BJ clobbering expectations. Not sure what happened on the way to September, but he hasn’t been right all season. Maybe he’s hiding an injury. But that was last season’s excuse. This season he was supposed to make good on his cortisone-induced playoffs show that had every classy waitress in Tampa standing at attention from their chest. Well, didn’t happen. I still think there’s time and I’m excited about him next year (again!). But until then, he’s now dealing with an ankle sprain. I’m sure he comes back. But at what? 87.7 percent? You need 100% from this schmohawk. Oh, and at 100%, he’s given you 2 homers and 8 steals with a near-.220 average since July 1st. If there’s better options, I’d consider looking elsewhere. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Franklin Morales – Huston Street made it to September without an injury. Mazel tov, my friends in Brooklyn. It was a deed no one thought Street capable of in March. Now he’s suffering from an arm issue. Rafael Betancourt’s the righty, Franklin Morales is the lefty. When in doubt, I go with the righty. But the Rockies obviously got word that Betancourt is a Cuddle Boy, so they’re calling Morales the closer.Please, blog, may I have some more?