I’m not sure if DK has been monitoring what J.A. Happ has done since being traded to Pittsburgh, but he’s at the bargain price of $7,600 for tonight. How about we keep it a secret between us Razzballers? Since being traded in early August, Happ is 6-2 with a 2.43 ERA while striking out 58 batters in 48.1ings. His first start as a Pirate he let up 4er and Tuesday night, in Coors, he gave up 3er, but he still K’d 8 over 5.1ings. Throw out those two games and dude looks like Greinke with a sparkling 1.39 ERA and 44K’s over 38.9ings. Happ gets the Cards tonight which may seem like a bad matchup, but they’re only batting .232 and they’re the NL’s numero uno in strikeouts versus LHP. Happ’s resurgence after making the move isn’t a surprise as the Pirates pitching coach Ray Searage is a friggin genius whisperer on a whole different level. This guy is so great that instead of buying him a few beers, a brewery named a beer after him; for realsies, check out the Bucco Blonde. At a relatively low sticker price of $7,600 you can match up Happ with Mad Max at $12,000 or the aforementioned Greinke at $13,100. Let’s keep the good times rolling and raise our pints to Ray Searage and The Happ Slapp!

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

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This is it, no mas quiero creepers. I’ve been pondering today’s post all week as we get to the most unpredictable week for playing time. As teams clinch, guys will get days off, all willy-nilly. Any little ding, bruise, ouchie or pending surgery will be a first class ticket to the bench. Yeah I’m looking at you Brauny, you are dead to me for making me drop you everywhere. I’ll throw a few names that could be good to grab but saying their playing time is secure can turn into a fools errand. If you are in a weekly league, then I hope to God you make the right choices and I will do everything in my power to help you. If you are in a daily league, then you got a chance. And if you are in a moves limit league, you can go tell your commish to f*ck themselves courtesy of Jack Full of Hate. I hate moves limits leagues more than H2H. *Intern taps me on shoulder and whispers into ear* Oh… I see, H2H and moves limits are usually linked together. Thanks Octavio. Sorry guys, Octavio is my gardener-slash-intern that is trying to break into a new career.  He also makes a mean Cadillac Margarita. Okay enough about Octavio, let’s get to creepin…

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It’s been a rough week to be Dallas! Last Sunday the Cowboys lost Bryant for 2-3 months and yesterday Romo went down with a broken collarbone. Tough break for the Cowboys but you’re not here for Da Boys, so let’s talk about the other Dallas. Last Wednesday night, Dallas Keuchel got shelled for 9er against a Texas lineup that’s leads all of baseball in K’s vs LHP. I for one paid up for Keuchel last week as it seemed like a no brainer. Granted his home/road splits lean towards that Houston home cooking, but I definitely didn’t see a season worst performance coming. I mean this is a guy who’s supposed to be tops on a short list of AL Cy Young candidates. The same guy that has put up 24 quality starts this year and has gone at least 6 innings in 29 of his 30 starts. In fact you’d have to go all the way back to last July to find an outing that he lasted 5 or less innings prior to last Wednesday’s Cleveland Steamer. In DFS you have to have a short memory and tonight is a perfect example as I’m doubling down and buying in big on Keuchel for $11,400. He’s third on the board tonight, but I think he’ll be a top the leaderboard with an excellent HOME matchup against the not so Angelic Anaheim club. Anaheim is limping into Houston after a 4 game set with Min, which had them play a double header on Saturday and yesterday they only put up 1 run . In fact LAA is hitting just .232 against LHP and Keuchel has owned them this year putting up 2 W’s, 21 K’s and just 4er in 18.1 innings. Luckily for this Dallas he can bounce back a lot quicker than the other Dallas team that will be licking their wounds for the next couple months.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Michael Conforto (+29%) was the most added player in fantasy baseball this past week. The New York Mets have been staggering along on offense this season (29th in MLB in runs scored), which hasn’t exactly made life easy for their impressive trio of starting pitchers (Jacob deGrom, Matt Harvey, and Noah Syndergaard) thus far. Despite this offensive ineptitude, they are currently just two games behind the NL East leading Washington Nationals in the standings. Ownership doesn’t seem to be interested in significantly adding to the team payroll in order to improve the offense, so what’s a playoff contending team to do? Why not call on your stud prospect for a boost down the stretch? Sounds nice and cheap to me!

Enter Conforto. The 22-year-old former first round draft pick has been successful at each stop in the minor leagues, but logged just 197 plate appearances above single-A ball prior to his MLB promotion. However, he’s certainly hit the ground running in the very early going, producing a .444/.583/.667 triple slash line in his first three MLB games, including an impressive 4 hit outing against the Dodgers in just his second career big league game. Unfortunately, Steamer isn’t terribly impressed, projecting a .243/.297/.383 line with 4 homers and 1 steal in 143 plate appearances for the rest of the 2015 season. The early book on him seems to be that he has plus power and plate discipline for his age, but offspeed stuff, particularly breaking balls, can give him problems. He’s definitely worth a lottery ticket, but you probably shouldn’t expect Conforto to be a fantasy stud immediately.

Here are a couple of other significant adds and drops in fantasy baseball over the past week:

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The Cardinals called up their top hitting prospect, Stephen Piscotty, who has a great eye, and could hit .320 with 20+ homers and 15+ steals in his prime. What will he do this year though? Piscotty Doesn’t Know! Piscotty Doesn’t Know! Piscotty Doesn’t Know! He could play 1st base for the suddenly old-looking and decrepit Mini Donkey. Piscotty Doesn’t Know! Piscotty Doesn’t Know! Piscotty Doesn’t Know! Piscotty could play some outfield, but where? Piscotty Doesn’t Know! Piscotty Doesn’t Know! Piscotty Doesn’t Know! I’m wondering something else. The Cardinals make a mountain out of molehill prospects, always. A prospect no one cares about comes up and the Cardinals make them look terrific. So, will Piscotty come up and be the opposite? Like the Law of Inverse Properties, which is in no way related to the douchey guy on HGTV that hosts Income Property. Piscotty Doesn’t Know! Piscotty Doesn’t Know! Piscotty Doesn’t Know! I’d grab Piscotty in all leagues since he’s essentially Matt Holliday right before he entered his prime, but I’m guessing Piscotty won’t play enough to be a factor this year in shallower than 15-team mixed leagues. He could though. Grey doesn’t know! Grey doesn’t know! Grey doesn’t know! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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“Who is the Dodgers ace?” asks the Fox Sports newscaster in Los Angeles, after the special report on “Where are the stars shopping for their Emmy gowns?” and “Juicing? Is it good for you?” and “A high-speed pursuit ends in an In-N-Out drive-thru,” and “Actresses over 24 years old may not be washed up after all,” and “Shopkeeper puts up sign to ‘Vote Republican’ and gets looted.” So, who is the Dodgers ace? On Saturday, Clayton Kershaw went 8 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners with 14 Ks, ERA down to 2.68. My Magic Eight Ball says this is the year the Dodgers hop on Kershaw’s back, march through the playoffs and justify every crackers move Mattingly’s done in his managerial career. Sometimes knowing the future really bums me out. Not to be outdone, on Sunday, Zack Greinke went 8 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners with 11 Ks, and lowered his ERA to 1.30. Soon he won’t be able to lower his ERA anymore (math is my strong suit). I’m totally done doubting Greinke…or am I?! No, not the ellipsis reversal! Ah! As I ranked in the top 100 for the 2nd half, Kershaw is way above Greinke in terms of, well, everything. Greinke is also not a 1.30 ERA pitcher, but no one really is, except maybe Kershaw. Greinke is definitely a number one though; this isn’t all luck. He has a 8+ K/9, 1.4 BB/9 and 3.05 xFIP, which is essentially nice, aw sooky, nice. A “nice aw sooky” sandwich, if you will. Then there’s the fact that Greinke hasn’t allowed a run in 43 2/3 IP. Orel Hershiser doesn’t scoff at that, maybe he yawns, then does a small double take when no one is looking. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

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George Springer will miss six weeks with a broken wrist. I find in these times of sadness it’s best to turn to the ones you love, your family. But it’s also important to not forget why you were sad either, so you don’t lose perspective. So print out pictures of Springer’s face and paste them to your wife, kids and dog’s faces. See, aren’t you glad you have family. It’s that kind of moral support that one needs at a time like this. If they don’t allow you to paste pictures on their face, you can leave your family or paste it on their faces while they’re asleep. Fun Fact! I always fall asleep during the movie While You Were Sleeping. Power of suggestion? Perhaps. This is obviously terrible news for Springer’s owners, and I wouldn’t get too cutesy with trying to trade for him on the cheap in redraft leagues. Wrist injuries can be tricky to rock around, it’s right on time, they’re tricky. Oh, oh, oh, they’re tricky! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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To paraphrase Collective Soul, “Diamondbacks, your cup runneth over with outfielders. Don’t scream about! Don’t think aloud! Trade an outfielder now, baby! Just spit him out! Don’t worry about! Don’t speak of doubt! Turn your organization’s head and spit Trumbo out!” From Collective Soul’s website (that was surprisingly not a Geocities site or Myspace), they’re still touring. Coming to a church bingo hall near you! So, the Mariners acquired Mark Trumbo and Vidal Nuno for Welington Castillo, Dominic Leone, Jack Reinheimer and Gabby Guerrero. During one of the games I took in at spring training this year, I screamed at Guerrero, “Hey, number ninety-two,” because I had no idea who he was and the media guide only went up to ninety-one. Then I jawed at Guerrero for about ten minutes, giving him a little taste of some major league heckling. Now that I realize who he was, it turns out we were both Gabby. This doesn’t do anything major to anyone’s value. Diamondbacks were one of the best team offenses in this little thing we call reality, so if anything, Trumbo takes the smallest of hits. Park-wise, Mark can be Trumbomb or Trumboner anywhere, so I’m not concerned. The ones that get the biggest value boost here are David Peralta (2-for-5, 1 run, 2 RBIs) and Castillo. Welington relocates his boeuf to the desert and becomes an everyday catcher with 15-homer power and a .270 average. Definitely grab him in NL-Only and two-catcher leagues. Peralta will have a chance to prove himself, but he’s more of a 14-homer, 8-steal guy, so nothing huge. This does stop the Diamondbacks from benching A.J. Pollock (2-for-4, 2 runs, 7th homer, and 2nd in as many games; grab him!), Ender Inciarte (0-for-5) and Yasmany Tomas (3-for-5, 2 runs, 1 RBI) when Jake Lamb returns. Or as Lamb would say, “Not baaaaah for either team.” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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As the Greek myth goes, the Yellin’ of LaTroy is the closer that launched thousands of fantasy baseballers to the waiver wire to pick up his set-up man, Adam Ottavino. There’s something to that great myth. There’s also the Greek myth about the LaTrojan Horse. In that one, the Greeks sent a closer that seemed like a workhorse onto the field, but once the battle began the LaTrojan Horse opened up and inside was marshmallows and the opposing team made a campfire, lit up the LaTrojan Horse and ate Smores. There’s also the Greek myth of Mike Mostsuckass, but that isn’t appropriate for right now. LaTroy Hawkins was spotted one out in the ninth inning and still gave up three earned runs, allowing a homer to the 135-pound power slugger, Dexter Fowler (who had a slam and legs and went 2-for-5, 2 RBIs). Whether the Rockies come out and say Hawkins is finished or on thin ice, I’d still stash Ottavino. He’s about to become a 35-save guy. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

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I’ve already gone over the top 20 catchers for 2015 fantasy baseball, the top 20 1st basemen for 2015 fantasy baseball and the top 20 2nd basemen for 2015 fantasy baseball. Last year, I thought the top 20 shortstops for 2015 fantasy baseball looked a whole lot better than the 2nd basemen. I said that’s not usually the norm, but you gotta be malleable in this fantasy baseball game. Then going on to say I’d give a free car to a brother and sister who were named Norm and Malleable. No one won the car and I was pretty off with where I thought shortstops had depth. They showed up last preseason in a librarian’s outfit with red-rimmed glasses and seemed interesting. Then they turned around and it was Sally Jessy Raphael and we should’ve ran the other way. As with the other top 20 rankings, I point out where tiers start and stop and my projections. All the 2015 fantasy baseball rankings can be found under that thing that says 2015 fantasy baseball rankings. Unsuccinct! Anyway, here’s the top 20 shortstops for 2015 fantasy baseball:

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