Paul Goldschmidt went off again last night, collecting four hits with two 2-run home runs and scored four times. Awww Schmiiiidt! Goldy has been locked in at the plate lately. Over the past two weeks, he’s batting .400 with 5 home runs, 12 RBI and 2 stolen bases. As a result the D-Backs sit at the top of their division, winning three straight games and seven of their last 10. Paul is currently on pace for over 40 home runs, 15 steals and 120+ RBI. Although he will likely come back down to earth some, he remains the number one first baseman on the player rater and is looking like a lock to finish in the top three. He also is the number two player overall behind only mean Jean Segura. To quote Mike Myers second worst film, “I love…Goooold.” We all do, Johan van der Smut, you horribly offensive Dutch stereotype. We all do. If you read Razzball faithfully, there’s a good chance you own Pauly G. on a team or two. If so, you are lovin’ life right now, so enjoy this. Bask in it. Take. It. In. You earned it. I had a goldfish named Goldy but I never loved that dumb fish as much I love owning Paul Goldschmidt. So thanks Grey. Thanks Rudy. If you ever need a kidney, I’m your guy.
Here’s what else happened in fantasy baseball last night: Please, blog, may I have some more?
Anibal Sanchez was amazing last night, pitching 8 innings and giving up just 5 five hits with a whopping 17 strikeouts against one of the league’s best offenses. Sanchez has never looked dirtier. Filthy even. I was hoping Manager Jim Leyland would send Sanchez out for the ninth to try for 20 Ks, but Anibal was pulled after 121 pitches. Leyland said he needed Sanchez in the dugout to bum a cigarette. No, Sanchez doesn’t usually smoke but he was on fire last night and always has a spare menthol for Skip. That kind of know-how and pedigree was why I owned Anibal everywhere last year, so of course I don’t own him anywhere this year. I must give it up to our fearless leader, Grey, for coming up with that headline. I almost went with “Bell of the Anibal” or “A Boy Named Anibal.” And those are just terrible. But things are really clicking for the Boy Named Anibal. I once knew a boy named Sue. He got in bar fight with Commodus and Reese Witherspoon, and Reese played the “Don’t-you-know-who-I-am!?” card and everyone got arrested. Well, if you didn’t know Anibal Sanchez before last night you better know him now. 17 STRIKEOUTS! Great Anibals of fire! Sanchez’s previous high was 14 Ks, but he now holds the Tigers record, which has got to peeve Justin Verlander a bit. Relax JV, you had Kate Upton, let Sanchez have this. His new home in Detroit has been good to him. No one wants to win more than 14 games for Jeffrey Loria anyway, right? Please, blog, may I have some more?
You can finally stop girding your loins – we’ve reached the final division in this position battles series. For reference, we’ve already covered the AL East, NL East, AL Central, NL Central, and AL West. Anyway, here’s some of the position battles to watch in the NL West: Please, blog, may I have some more?
Liner notes from the Razzball fantasy baseball meeting:
Grey: Hey Sky, you should do a piece on Chris Johnson.
Sky: Chris Johnson? Tennessee Titans? Football season’s over, why exactly would I do that?
Grey: You goof-tard, I’m talking about the Braves’ Chris Johnson.
Sky: The only Chris Johnson I’m familiar with from baseball plays for the Houston Astros.
Grey: You’ve gotta be kidding me…dude, just go back to your fantasy football hidey-hole! Please, blog, may I have some more?
The .245 AVG is going to look ugly next March but 31 HRs and 80+ R/RBI has been nirvana for anyone (like Rudy) who plucked Josh Reddick off free agency in shallow leagues this year. The power is real and, unlike the last A’s power hitter (Jack Cust), he is an above average fielder. So the A’s now have 2/3 of a phallic OF foundation with Reddick and Yoenis. Where is Lance Johnson Jr or Dick Pole Jr when you need them? Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, Felix Doubront went 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 11 Ks and rose The Walking Dead in Boston. I wonder if Stephen King helped recruit Doubront for the Red Sox. I wonder if there’s going to be a Red Sox team next year or if they’ll just merge with their Pawtucket minor league team. Please, blog, may I have some more?
He likes school to start so he can skip class. He doesn’t befriend the incoming freshmen, but he does tell his friends, “Yo, man, let up on him,” then helps the freshman nerd down from the back of the locker hook. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Adam Eaton went 2-for-6 with a run yesterday as the Diamondbacks called up their outfield prospect, and hit him leadoff. The move is to fill in for Krispie, who’s out with a sore quad. Krispie could return (he won’t go to the DL because with 40-man rosters, there’s no need to), but Eaton’s not coming up to play in one game a week. Please, blog, may I have some more?
I got the sense from comments and other non-scientific criteria that people were looking to get a feel for Trevor Bauer. Or at least get their grubby little hands on him. I did say to buy him back in April and again in May, but who can remember that far; I can barely remember how this sentence started. With a preposition? I don’t know, let’s forget the whole thing and have a pina colada! What, you don’t like coladas? How about dancing in the rain? Not into YoGa? Yeah, his ERA is shizz. Let’s see what Scott, our prospect writer (his actual last name), said in the past about Bauer, “Bauer profiles as a top-of-the-rotation starter with an upper 90s fastball and a devastating curve. But all I keep thinking about is what Grey would taste like slathered in teriyaki sauce.” Huh? Not sure how that slipped through my strict editorial process. In the past, I said about Trevor, “Bauer & Skaggs opened for Big & Rich.” Well, that wasn’t the best quote from me. Shoot me! Now, you just shot your computer screen. You’re silly! On our preseason top 25 fantasy baseball prospect post, the only pitchers above him were Moore and Darvish. Okay, Moore’s had some struggles, but those two names give you an idea of how valuable Bauer could be. He’s blown through the minors about as good as anyone. Right now, he’s sporting a 11+ K-rate and a low-2 ERA between Double and Triple-A. The only concern for him is his walk rate (over 4), but he has the Ks to make up for it. He looks like the pitching version of the hitters the Diamondhacks are famous for. High Ks, crazy upside, might call crap on a table a Pu-Pu platter. In 2012, I’ll give him the line of 7-5/3.60/1.30/100 in 90 innings, but there’s obviously room for huge upside (and risk of some downside (though the Ks will be good (how many parentheses am I inside of here (Anyone? Please, blog, may I have some more?
Alex Castellanos was called up by the Dodgers to replace the DL’d Kemp, so what’s this guy’s story? He was found in an orphanage in Crete. He grew up eating ambrosia, feta and olives. He spent all of his waking hours either playing baseball or pooping because of his diet. Oh, you mean what’s his story as in what’s his stats like? He looks like a product of the PCL, which is more glamorous than a product of Greek economists, but just as dangerous. As we know, hitting in the PCL is like hitting on the moon with an aluminum bat. So far in Triple-A this year (21 games), he has 4 homers, 7 steals and a .361 average. That’s being wholly supported by an inflated BABIP because his K-rate isn’t pretty. He’s closer to a .270 hitter with 10-ish homer power and 15-ish steal speed. That’s solid enough in NL-Only leagues for a placeholder, but I’d hold off in mixed leagues for now. In keepers, I’d pursue slightly more aggressively, but he is already 25 and from his picture it looks like it’s a Latin 25. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Matt Kemp – Won’t return for at least 4 weeks with a strain in two different places. One place is his hamstring, the other place is his ears from the high-pitched screeches of his fantasy owners. Please, blog, may I have some more?