Fantasy baseball is a fickle beast. It will lure you in with chocolates and fine smelling perfume. Then leave you heartbroken, mad as hell and unable to watch regular baseball. Twelve after 20 is becoming the year of the Aflac for closers.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Will Middlebrooks was called up to step between his brother, Donnybrook, Bobby Valentine and Youuuuuuuuuk. Youuuuuuuuuk said, “Ow, my back hurts, I need the DL,” Valentine said, “Just wrap yourself in lavash, that makes everything better.” Donnybrook erupted in a public place because of needling from Sawx fans and Will Middlebrooks hits a lot of homers in the minors. Hello, Will, you be staying for dinner? I’ve prepared a nice spot at the corner spot. Please disregard the Rays embossed flatware that I have there; it was for someone else. This year in 23 games in Triple-A, Middlebrooks hit 9 homers and stole three bases. Last year, he hit 18 in Double-A in 96 games and 7 in 17 games in the low minors. Yesterday, he went 2-for-3 and stole a base. He strikes out way too much currently with little to no walks for him to come close to putting up a good average over the long haul. But long hauls are why you pay movers on Craigslist. You’re looking at short term if you lost Longoria and, for that, I say grab him in AL-Only and deep mixed leagues. If you’re in a league where you can grab Alvarez or Chris Davis, then I’d go with them right now. And, no, I never thought I’d be saying that a month ago. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Josh Beckett – Beckett will only miss one start due to his lat soreness. Lat’s all, folks.Please, blog, may I have some more?
First off, the story of Chris Capuano is just great. Three years after getting seriously hurt, he was back in the big leagues in 2010, doing his thing. But I’m not giving him the Greydar pub because he is a great story, it’s because he’s so cheap. No, not like splits the tab with you on a first date and makes you pay more fare for the taxi because you live farther away cheap. I’m talking about going behind Miguel Tejada according to Mock Draft Central and being the 97th pitcher off the board according to Fleaflicker cheap.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I could probably draft a team of these starters, who are drafted after the 150 mark in mock drafts, and win your league’s pitching stats. In this post last year was Ricky Romero, Hellickson, Kuroda, Gio Gonzalez, Zimmermann, Chacin, Cueto, and Daniel Hudson. I had those guys on multiple teams. I don’t say this to brag, but I’m really good at targeting starters to, um, target. Well, I’m good with hitters too, but starters I’m really good. I’d like to say it’s because I’m smart, but since I’m sorta dumb I’m not sure what it is. Maybe I’m an idiot savant, who I believe was Doug Savant’s cousin that had a walk-on part on Melrose Place, the Original. And with all of that said, you should still draft a starter or two before you see any of these names on the top of your draft list. Well, you know what to do from my top 20 starters for 2012 fantasy baseball. It’s good to have a safe starter or two before you go upside. In the immortal words of some drunk tightrope walker, “I don’t need the net under the trapeze but I want it there. Burp.” There’s also a pitchers pairings post to help you along with your staff. That’s what she said! Wait, what? Finally, you can check out APPLES. Anyway, here’s some starters to target in your 2012 fantasy baseball drafts:
Ubaldo Jimenez – Under that link is my projections and thoughts. To read a less optimistic man’s thoughts on Ubaldo, click on the thing that says “thoughts on Ubaldo.” Though that might’ve been clear. I need a mentee to seamlessly link to shizz.Please, blog, may I have some more?
In our 2012 fantasy baseball rankings, we’ve gone over so many flippin’ players I’ve lost track. This is, I believe, the top 60 starters for 2012 fantasy baseball, but you’re best to check the title to be sure. If it is indeed the top 60 starters, then you’re in luck. Only a few more top 20 rankings posts. What is it, February? March? Why don’t I have an app for this? Or do I want a hashtag? App ‘n Hashtag would be a good name for a 50′s style diner with wifi. As with the other rankings posts, tiers and my projections are mentioned. Anyway, here’s the top 60 starters for 2012 fantasy baseball:
41.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Or is it Philly adds pap shmear to their J-Roll? What, icky? Sorry, friend. The Phils signed Jonathan Papelbon to a silly deal of sillier proportions. Maybe the Phils should move to the Santa Ynez Valley because their replacement of Madson is a sideways move.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yo, Meteorologist Grey here and I’m standing in Chesapeake Bay to show you how high the water has risen. It’s usually up to my waist, but, as you can see, the water is now up to my shoulders. Would I normally be standing in Chesapeake Bay if there was no hurricane? No, this is for ratings, snitches! That was it, that was the big news all across the world of baseball this weekend. How there wasn’t any on the eastern seaboard. ‘See, bored?’ is more like it. But there was Justin Verlander winning his 20th game, and locking up the Cy Young. His line so far 20-5/2.38/0.90/218 in 215 2/3 IP. Those numbers are sick as in very healthy not sick as in sick. When you have over 200 innings and more than a K per inning, you deserve the accolades, which only sounds like something you take for an upset stomach. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Jimmy Rollins – Won’t return when eligible, i.e., the Phils are coasting into the playoffs and don’t care if any of their regulars play the entire month of September. Just a friendly reminder that you need to have back-up plans in place if your H2H team is riding Phils like Marlo Thomas.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Charlie Manuel confirmed Cole Hamels would have his next start skipped after an MRI showed he had shoulder inflammation. But Manuel was wearing a wooden barrel being held up by suspenders so it made it difficult to pay attention to what he was saying. Manuel then said, “When I ask for a straw, I don’t want a drinking straw. Drinking straws are for 13-year-old girls!” You know what would’ve been nice? If Hamels settled all this MRI shizz before I had to set my weekly fantasy lineup. Yes, this is all about me. Here’s hoping Hamels only needs to miss one start and then can come back at full strength. Though for a club that can afford to rest him and coast into the playoffs, it seems like a pipe dream. But what about my H2H playoffs?! Have I mentioned recently how much I hate H2H? You got your marbles on the line and teams are resting their best marbles for the playoffs. Marbles! BTW, no one knows what that means, but it’s provocative. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Roy Halladay – 9 IP, 3 ER, 9 baserunners, 14 Ks. From Rudy, “My DVR still has The Golden Girls from when my parents visited. Oh, Estelle Getty, your delivery is prettier than Roy Halladay’s.”
Casper Wells – Has now homered in four straight games. Casper was one of those cases where I saw him hit a homer and disregarded it, figuring he wouldn’t hit another one immediately. Then disregarded the 2nd and 3rd homers too. After four in a row, it’s hard to disregard. He’s really not this good, I promise you. But, and unless you’re an alien there’s always a but, he’s hitting the cover off the ball so you may as well grab him to see how long it can continue.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Mike Carp is hitting .350 since July 1st. (Thereabouts, I did the math in my head. At least I think it was my head. Hmm…) Carp only has 4 homers, but now has two homers in the last 4 games. He’s also hit in 11 straight games.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Derrek Lee went 2-for-4 with 3 RBIs and two homers as he continues to get medieval on pitching, which isn’t an old crack, though it could be. I appreciate the Pirates trying to make moves at the trading deadline, but their moves were kinda of the “We’re gonna make moves so it seems like we’re doing something, but we’re just gonna grab guys like Ludwick” variety. No one really thinks Ludwick and Lee were the vital pieces, right? As for the Indians, I thought they’d go the Ludwick-type trade route too, but they actually made much stronger moves. No, this doesn’t have much to do with fantasy, but we do still actually watch baseball, right? It’s not just a game played between the fantasy lines on your computer screen, is it? Now to begin the slideshow — sorry, thought I was writing that crizzap for Bleacher Report. What a POS content farm. Seriously, if I ever see Bleacher Report hanging out with eHow one night after a few daiquiris, it could get ugly. Wow, that was a huge aside.Please, blog, may I have some more?