Last week around the Razzball water cooler, Sky was like, “you should be my creeper of the week.” Boy does he wish he took that back. I rolled up about 5 driveways down from his house at 13(redacted)5 (redacted)field Lane, (redacted)town, (redacted) in my 1985 maroon Chevy Astro and grew a Derek Holland/Tyler Skaggs-esque-stache until the moment was ripe. While he may have you think he’s working on some awesome content over there at Razzball Football, I actually hired a look alike off Craigslist to post his work. I mean, look at how fuzzy his picture is, I could get anyone from Channing Tatum to The Elephant Man to Tehol. Trust me, that’s not the only thing Tehol advertises as “his services” on Craigslist.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jacob Turner took care of business last night and grabbed the win in his 2013 debut, snapping Miami’s nine game losing streak as well as ending the Mets own adorable little winning streak. Jacob pitched seven quality innings against the Mets and gave up just 5 hits, 1 walk, and struck out three, managing 12 ground ball outs. After the game he assured his fans, “You ain’t seen nothing yet!” I hope that’s true because his minor league stats were pretty underwhelming. You may remember Jacob as the primary get for the Marlins in the Tigers Anibal Sanchez/Omar Infante trade. Turner was initially expected to make the rotation to start the year but he struggled and continued to struggle in AAA in April, walking too many batters and just not pitching as consistently as the Marlins would have liked. Jacob improved, however, and posted a 3.00 ERA with a 20/6 K/BB ratio in five starts in May, and the injury to Alex Sanabia gave him a chance to start taking care of business in the bigs. Outside NL-Only and deeper mixed he’s just someone to watch for now. The former ninth overall pick is still just 22 years old and as he learns his way through the league he could prove himself streamer-worthy. He may be worth a flier versus the banged up Phillies next week, but temper your expectations as you would with any player who plays for the MIA Marlins.
Here’s what else happened in fantasy baseball last night:Please, blog, may I have some more?
This won’t only be a Buy on Anthony Rendon but also a Sell on Danny Espinosa since he’s used up all my hospitality, and I’m the Florence Nightingale of hospitality if she was known for hospitality and not just being in hospitals. I’m the Sean Penn of hospitality, refusing awards for my hospitality. I Desmond effin’ Tutu of hospitality! Yeoman Albright, my great4 grandfather, invented the word hospitality, and Espinosa is nailing me to the Red Cross of hospitality?! How dare you, sir? How. Dare. You. He’s not a .160-ish player, but he is only a .230-ish player and right now he’s not even hitting homers. The clock is tick-tick-ticking on Rendon being called up to replace him, and I’m officially done with Espinosa (which, of course, will start him up). Depending on your league size, now is the time to stash Rendon. He’s probably 7-10 days away. Here’s what I said recently about him, “Rendon is gonna be a great one…some day. Damn, the fantasy baseball fortune cookie ending! Yeah, I’m not sure he’s ready just yet, but he’s worth a flyer in all leagues. I grabbed him in one league where I have Moustakas, because I’m tired of seeing that gyro-eating-motherfu– Let’s just say I’m tired of Moustakas. Best case scenario, Rendon stays up and hits for a solid average and gives high-teen power with some very light speed. Worst case scenario, Rendon shows up at your house at 3 AM and asks to sleep on your couch, which seems fine at first, then he tells you he has no place to live, stays for months, doesn’t ever flush the toilet or fill up the Tang in the fridge, then starts dating your aunt, eventually marries her, making him your uncle, a title he insists you call him.” And that’s me quoting me! Grab Uncle Rendon now, and move on from Espinosa in most leagues. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Josh Rutledge did not play for the third time since last Friday because Walt Weiss is crummy with crackers, then thinking he was a real Weiss guy, Rutledge was sent down to Triple-A. This is the same Rutledge that went into yesterday’s game hitting .259 with a homer, 3 runs and 3 RBIs in the last week. He’d be leading the entire Marlins team with those numbers! On our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater, he was above Starlin Castro, Alcides, Alexei, Rollins, Asdrubal for the year… Seriously. He was doing better than all but 8 shortstops. Yes, I’m on the River Denial and my boat is called, “Dubya Tee Eff?!” and I’m stopping at the Sphinx to riddle him with, “What are the Rockies doing?” Are you seriously going with DJ LeMahieu because he had hits the last two days?! Why not just go with David Guetta? At least he’s had hits I’ve heard of! The problem seems to be that the Rockies are holding Rutledge’s fielding against him. Luckily, Weiss wasn’t managing the Yankees in 1996 or Jeter would’ve been sent down for Luis Sojo. I know, The Art of Fielding, I know Dan Fielding, I do not know of sending Rutledge down for fielding. Stop the madness and bring back Rutledge! I’ll admit when I’m wrong with drafting guys, but Rutledge was not a mistake. It’s stupid teams, playing for stupid things that don’t matter in 5×5 roto. STUPID! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, I was thinking how Miguel Gonzalez, who went 7 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks, is a’ight. Has nominal value in mixed leagues against weaker teams and a solid back-end guy for AL-Only leagues, which could describe the entire O’s staff. With the O’s, you gotta mind your P’s and Q’s. Excuse me, I had Alphabet Soup for lunch and just burped. Those O’s starters are okay, but I crave excitement. I’m an adrenaline junkie. Sometimes I’ll blog with no pants on just for the RUSH I get. While in Starbucks. While holding my dog over my junk so I don’t catch charges. I’m a responsible adrenaline junkie. So, when I heard Kevin Gausman will make his major league debut on Thursday, you can imagine how awkward it was carrying my dog over my junk without any hands, while working my cellular mobile device trying to pick up Gausman. I’ve gone over Gausman as recently as two weeks ago. He was my Wheeler before Wheeler. I lurve Gausman. The O’s staff is iffy at best, so Gausman could definitely stick around. His numbers in the minors this year are insane. In 46 1/3 IP, he has 49 Ks and 5 walks. He could be the best called up pitcher this year. More likely, he’ll have some extreme ups and downs in the AL East. I’d still grab him in all leagues just in case his ups far outnumber his downs. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I went ahead and picked up Jarrod Dyson this past week only to watch him sprain his ankle before even entering my lineup. ESPN has him listed as 0.0% ownership, so apparently my team doesn’t even count in their world. I was about to get all depressed about it and throw on my Skinny Puppy t-shirt and black eyeliner when I realized that this is a SAGNOF world, and that means when one speedster goes down, we just go to the heap for another. We’re about 1/4 of the way through the season already, and that means it’s time to take a look at some stats for pitchers, catchers, and teams to try to exploit when chasing steals. I’ll also take a look at what Will Venable is up to and how Pedro Florimon may be a possible source of cheap speed in very deep leagues. At the beginning of the season, I posted the 2012 numbers for pitchers and catchers who should be exploited or avoided when it comes to steals, as well as team SB allowed for matchup purposes. Here are those same stats through the first 40 games of the 2013 season.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Each week I’ll be looking at some favorable match-ups to help you grab a few extra steals for your fantasy team. Whether you are in a weekly or daily league, looking at weak defensive catchers and strong/aggressive base running teams may help you make decisions as to which players you should start or sit in your hunt for an edge in the stolen base category. Since the 2013 season is only a week old, I’ll use some data from 2012 to get started and give you an idea of what we will be looking for. Just realize that these are only two dimensions that can affect stolen base totals.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I just went over the top 10 for 2013 fantasy baseball and the top 20 for 2013 fantasy baseball. Most of you know how I feel about catchers. If you draft a catcher any time before the first 100 picks, you don’t know how I feel about catchers. Let me freshen up your cocktail with a splash of insight. I don’t draft top catchers in one catcher leagues. I Reggie Roby them. Molina, Pierzynski, Wilin Rosario were all in the top 5 for catchers last year. Their average draft pick was around 250 overall last year. The bottom of the top 20 for last year consisted of Napoli, McCann and Jesus Montero. Their average draft slot was around 70. It’s like this every year. In 2011, Napoli and Avila were ranked second and third at the end of the year with Wieters and Posey disappointing, going into the year it was nothing like that. Catchers are unreliable to stay healthy; the job is grueling and takes its toll on offensive stats. Then, there’s not much difference between, say, the fifth best catcher and nothingness. Wilin Rosario was the fifth best catcher last year. As late as July of last year, he could’ve been picked up off waivers in some leagues. Finally, the best catcher last year and the NL MVP was the 27th best player according to our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater. That’s the best year you can hope from him and he was still only ranked 27th overall. You’re paying a premium for a catcher, who would be the 8th best outfielder. The third best 2nd baseman. The fifth best first baseman. The fifth best 3rd baseman. Only shortstops were worst, and I say punt them too. Yes, I am saying punt the positions that are most scarce. Because I ignore the top catchers doesn’t mean I’m starting the top 20 catcher list at number twenty-two (John Jaso? Belch.); some of you might want to know the top catchers. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them draft Alex Avila. In two catcher leagues, catchers are a little more valuable, but I’d still prefer to avoid them. You can see other top 20 lists for 2013 fantasy baseball under 2013 fantasy baseball rankings. Listed along with these catchers are my 2013 projections for each player and where the tiers begin and end. Anyway, here’s the top 20 catchers for 2013 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
It feels like yesterday the baseball regular season started. You wrote “I heart baseball” in permanent marker on your arm, then you met a girl who wrote “I heart guys who heart baseball” on her arm, then, during sex in September, you screamed out “I love you, Chris Davis!” and now you don’t have baseball or a girlfriend, unless your girlfriend was Bill James. C’mon, calendar, make like a soldier and turn to March. The only cure for the post-baseball season blues — recapping the preseason top twenty lists and being hand-fed Doritos. First up, Cool Ranch and our preseason Top 20 Catchers for 2012. It’s important to look back before we look ahead to 2013.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, Hector Santiago went 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 1 walk, 10 Ks. Hey, it’s the White Sox closer from 6 months ago, with that gig lasting for a minute. Not an Urbandictionary minute, which is a long time. An actual minute.Please, blog, may I have some more?