The sexy prospects are finally making it baby!

It’s good to be back to the Pitcher Profile, with so many hot options out there to break down as we head into the ASB. While Lucas Giolito (who I was always spell wrong with two T’s the first time I type his name) has more “overall” prospect buzz, I think I might have been more excited that we finally got the Tyler Glasnow callup. I had continually been ranking him very favorably in my ranks in the 60s, and I’m not gonna lie, when I saw Steven Brault got the call before him (and this is even after Chad Kuhl too), I was dismayed. But alas! Glasnow made his debut last Thursday afternoon against the Cardinals with a lot of encouraging stuff coming out of it. Not too surprisingly, he was sent back down as he wasn’t needed for another start before the All-Star Break, but will he be back soon sooner or later? Well, here’s how he looked in his MLB debut, and an analysis on if you should be holding onto him on redraft rosters:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Not sure how many of you saw it yesterday, but Terry Collins got heated in a press conference when the Mets’ PR guy wanted him to tell the media more about Syndergaard.  Finally, Collins called him a puppy dog and stormed out.  Now, in a move that will be sure to make even the best PR person sweat, the Mets are in final talks to reunite with Jose Reyes.  The news picked up steam when management asked that the players’ wives not travel with the team.  Also, Wilmer Flores better not cry if Reyes joins the team.  Reyes smells the slightest weakness and he becomes a slap hitter (of recent vs. of old).  So, what can we expect of Reyes if he does land on the Mets, or any team, because he will sign somewhere.  Last year, in 116 games, he had 7 homers, 24 steals and a .274 average.  Honestly, that’s not that bad.  He can’t stay healthy, but maybe starting in July will help with that.  Figure he can play 80 games, which should put him in the area of a 7-10 HRs, 17-25 SBs and a .270 average.  Not terrible if you’re struggling at shortstop or MI.  Maybe the Mets will say eff it and also hire Doc Gooden to cut the foul lines.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Albert Almora was called up yesterday by the Cubs, and he’s the latest barely in-his-20s, big-time Cubs prospect.  Albert Almora also anagrams to Barrel T. Alamo, who’d be great as a San Antonian oil man villain.  “Remember my wrath, Walker, Texas Ranger!  Now hand me my seersucker suit, and, yes, I’m in my underwear because I just bedded your wife and daughter together.  I dig holes for a living!”  So, Almora’s up while Jorge Soler mends his broken hamstring, and Almora’s ready to get all that and a cup of coffee.  Or is it bring Maddon a cup of coffee?  Well, he’s here for his cup of coffee.  And Maddon says he’ won’t play every day.  And, Part II, And There’s More!, I still grabbed him in two leagues.  He’s basically a young Dexter Fowler.  I will call him Dexter Chick.  In Triple-A, he had 3 HRs, 10 SBs, .318 average in 55 games.  He could see action here and there, and might provide a few steals.  In most leagues, he’s not worth grabbing yet, unless you’re like me and can’t resist rookie nookie.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Felix Hernandez hit the DL with a calf strain.  He could veal it during his last start.  Sounds like a good injury to milk.  Sorry, I was just shaking out the pockets of these jeans I wore last night and I had a bunch of unused cow puns.  What’s a dad cow’s poop called?  Pa-nure!  Take it, Highlights, it’s yours!  So, James Paxton was called up to replace F-Her, who is likely going to only miss a few weeks, but Paxton could continue to get starts if he’s good.  So, can Paxton be good?  Is there’s twelve posts in post-post-post-post-post-post-post-post-post-post-post-post-hype sleeper?  Paxton has shown flashes of brilliance with his 94 MPH fastball but the M’s have wanted Paxton to improve on a bunch of pitches and he’s already 27 years old, so is improvement coming?  Well, he had a 3.97 ERA in Triple-A this year and Steamer projects him as a streamer, so I have no faith whatsoever.   Speaking of faith, yesterday Paxton gave up runs like his character gave out marriage proposals.  Looking at his line is like looking at Chloe Sevigny — 3 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 5 unearned runs.  Paxton’s like when Picasso stood up from the toilet.  He’d look down and say, “That’s a work in progress.”  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yeah, I did already use this title, didn’t I?! Manaea? Maeda? Tomato? Tomatto?! Let’s call the whole thing off! What’s funny is Sean Manaea and Kenta Maeda couldn’t be more different either, with the former is a lefty hard-thrower, and the other a righty craftsman…

I got a good amount of flack the first few weeks of the Pitcher Profile ranks for not moving Maeda way up, but I think he’s going to end up a pretty average pitcher in fantasy terms – something akin to a standard league SP4. Like Grey’s Pulitzer-winningMatt Harvey is sucking because of the playoff workload last year” advice on the Podcast, I’ve always maintained the entirely unique and previously un-thought “Maeda could start strong, but will fade as the league sees him more.” We’re all about the hard-hitting advice here at Razzball!

We’ve begun to see the cracks in the armor from Maeda (can’t use a different phrase because of Jeremy Lin, thanks ESPN). After a 0.36 ERA through his first 4 starts, he sported a 5.82 the next 4 heading into yesterday afternoon. Didn’t expect it to regress this fast! Comments exclaiming for a Maeda move-up in my ranks certainly went away! But within this 8-start microcosm, I indeed think Maeda is somewhere in that law of averages. So after a few requests for a Maeda profile, I decided to break down his start yesterday afternoon in a saucy matchup at Petco to see how he looks.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

A Duvall hasn’t looked this good since Popeye starring Robin Williams.  You thought I was going Robert Duvall and I steered it into Crazytown with Shelley Duvall.  By the way, don’t look at current pictures of Shelley Duvall.  She’s a Shelley of her former self.  I have a theory.  She had to do everything just so for Kubrick in The Shining, to the point where she couldn’t even think for herself, then she started working with Robert Altman, who was like, “Do whatever you like, improv,” and going from one extreme to the other drove her crazy.  I’d put money on it that this is the biggest update on Shelley Duvall you will ever get on a fantasy baseball website.  Any hoo!  Adam Duvall (1-for-4, and his 7th homer, hitting .284) has been crushing the ball for the last two weeks.  Now seven homers in 33 games.  Fluky, right?  Not so fast, Cousin Sweatpants.  Duvall hit 26 homers in only 100 games in Triple-A and 27 homers in 91 Double-A games.  He was always a power guy, just never really had a chance to play.  He’s now getting that chance and proving he can continue to hit homers.  Will he hit anything besides homers?  That’s yet to be seen, but I’d grab him in all leagues where I needed power.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

You see that old rocking chair in the corner? That’s me, mister reliable.  Made of wood and literally been around these parts since the dawn of time. I may not be the smartest fella, or the fartest smeller either, but I dig baseball.  I get the stats and the hub-bub surrounding the intricacies of deeper stats.  Relaying them in a manner that makes sense on paper and conveying them to you in a way that makes us all put away our Casio calculator watches is my style.  This report covers similarities from what I touch on the regular in my bullpen post, so for the normalcy of life, I will add some of my usual middle relief spice into the streaming world of stolen bases.  Sound good, grand glad we could agree.  Rostering established stolen base guys is all well and good, but is a better feeling when you stream an option and he gets one that wasn’t normally accounted for.  Kinda feels like stealing, in the actually stealing sense and not just in the statistical sense.  The world of streaming swipes is becoming harder and harder as stolen bases are a stat best left for the dudes hitting dingers. The more a pitcher lets players get on base with SB opportunities, the increase for SB’s grows… sometimes. This is my first attempt at this post, so I am starting it my own way. So let’s look at this weeks options to stream stolen bases and the trends for which to follow for streaming ideas.  Cheers!

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Typically I lead every Monday with a solid Starting Pitcher pick but since today’s starters are underwhelming at best, we’re going to concentrate on some juicy stacks. Michael Pineda, or the Human Pinata, is in Coors Junior and he’s given up 7 long balls to RHB. Stack 1, Paul Goldschmidt, Welington Castillo, Jean Segura, Yamany Tomas, Brandon Drury, and Jake Lamb ( I know he’s a lefty, but he’s been raking). Manaea Mania came and went, thankfully I dropped him after his second start because he coughed up 8 ER last time out against Boston. Unfortunately Texas doesn’t have too many RHB, so this is more of a mini stack, Ian Desmond, Adrian Beltre and Ryan Rua. I’d really like to jump all over Jon Niese tonight as he’s already let up 8 HR’s to RHB. Too bad Atlanta only has Jeff Francoeur and a couple other scrubs. The final stack of the night is against the cobbler, Matt Shoemaker. Anytime this guy has taken the mound post 2014 he’s been crushed by the long ball. I’m crushing on Joc Pederson, Corey Seager and Yasmani Grandal tonight. As I mentioned, the pitching isn’t ideal tonight, but there’s a few matchups that could help us cash in tonight, especially if you want to go big risk, big reward. Tonight is the debut of our new Razzball Exclusive League on DraftKings, so be sure to check it out!

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run today to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Matthew Wisler threw a gem yesterday — 8 IP, 0 ER, 1 Hit, 2 Walks, 4 Ks, lowering his ERA to 3.24.  Or if you like portmanteaus and/or vomit — Matthrew up a gem.  By the by, after anyone says their name is Matthew, do you always want to say, “Gesundheit?”  “Name for the cup?”  “Matthew.”  “Wow, it’s allergy season, huh?”  That’s me as a barista, a job I never had.  I’ve actually held one real job in my entire life.  I’m like Mark Cuban without the money.  Since I own Wisler in more leagues than I care to admit, I watched the whole game.  Prolly first time I watched one of my pitchers while listening to the opposing broadcast, but you cannot beat the Mets announcers for a broadcast booth or for stories about insane cocaine intake in the 80s.  Wisler was dancing a 94 MPH fastball just at the knees, spinning a backdoor curve that had Neil Walker look more like Neil Statue.  Duda?  Go take a doodie, it’d be more productive than facing Wisler!  Asdrubal?  Well, he actually hit the ball hard.  Quite a few Mets did.  It was like, “Matthew!  Damn, I think I caught something,” and the Braves would look up with a ball in their glove.  So, Wisler’s performance last night was a gorgeous line, but I wouldn’t go near him outside of the deepest of leagues.  In shallower leagues, Matthew?  God bless you for last night, but I don’t need those tissues.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

If I told you this post ends our position 2016 fantasy baseball rankings, would you believe me?  What if I told you it while holding your mom’s hand while calling you son, would you believe it more or less?  Man, you got issues!  So, yes, this is the end of our positional rankings, but I’ll be along tomorrow with a top 100 and then a top 500.  That’s right, 500!  Like a baller!  There’s also our Steamer projections for all hitters and pitchers.  All of the fantasy baseball auction values are also up for over 1500 players.  There’s a ton of different formats located there too, like the 5×5 OBP rankings, 6×6 OBP rankings, 6×6 Holds and a ton more.  All of my 2016 fantasy baseball rankings are there.  My tiers and projections are noted in this post.  Anyway, here’s the top 100 starters for 2016 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?