I was going to lede with Lester the Molester is going to flip the script on the Padres, but I didn’t want the Vatican Policia to flag me. The last thing I need is some little Italian guy going through my trash in the middle of the night. I just had a vision of Grey outside of Giancarlo’s house rummaging through his Salvation Army donation bags looking for his old jock straps. This coming from a guy who tried to get Manny Machado’s birthday bubble gum he tossed at us when Grey proposed a Netflix and chill night. Oh what hijinks we get ourselves into. For the record I wasn’t going to extract the DNA for a Mini Manny Heater, but that’s a hell of an idea, Grey! Now let’s get into the real reason you’re here; Monday Night DK. There’s only 8 games on the docket tonight. I really liked the Dodgers matchups, but unfortunately they had a 9:35 am start time and DK doesn’t even have that game available. A-Gon will probably hit 2 HRs and Kazmir will probably have 15 baserunners and 1 K because I need him to deal in our Scout league. I’m not to thrilled about the offensive matchups tonight as there’s some solid arms taking the bump tonight. The few matchups I do like are through the roof expensive, so I’m going to pay for two top arms and try to jimmy rig the rest, hopefully it comes together. I know we like to pick on the Padres, but after seeing Robby Ray strikeout 13 over 7 innings on Saturday I just can’t pass up on this matchup. Granted, Jon Lester at $12,500 is the most expensive and he’ll probably be highly owned, so it goes without saying he’s not the ideal tourney play. Lester had a couple clunkers going in the All Star break, but he’s been great over his last six starts picking up 4 Ws, 38 Ks to go along with a 2.47 ERA over 36.1 innings. With the Padres offense trailing just Milwaukee for total Ks on the year I’m counting on Lester to hit double digit Ks and he could top 40 points if all goes well tonight.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run today to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.

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When thinking about the Colorado Rockies organization, great pitching is probably the last thing that comes to mind. The main reason for this is that there just hasn’t been much of it throughout their brief history, due in large part to the launching pad that is known as Coors Field. Mike Hampton was a former runner up in the Cy Young voting and frontline starter prior to producing a disastrous 5.75 ERA during his two seasons in Colorado. Denny Neagle was a two time All-Star and former 20 game winner who struggled mightily in a Rockies uniform. It’s pretty telling when Jorge de la Rosa, Aaron Cook, and Jeff Francis are some of the most successful pitchers in franchise history. The bottom line is fairly obvious – pitchers generally don’t fare well in Colorado. However, current ace Jon Gray is doing his best to buck the trend of underwhelming production from Rockies hurlers. Will he prove to be the exception to the rule or will he just be another in a long line of Rockies pitchers to avoid?

Let’s take a look at Gray’s profile to determine if his current success is sustainable moving forward. Here are a few thoughts and observations:

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Devon Travis hit two home runs Friday night including one to lead off the ballgame and a heroic, Olympic-sized tie-breaking shot in the ninth inning to give the Jays the lead. Clearly, Travis just wanted to get back to his hotel room so he could catch the Opening Ceremony in Rio. Speaking of which, that ceremony was really…something, wasn’t it? When you watch four hours of the Olympics and not a single event is played. Hmm, I think I might be burned out on the games already and the torch was just lit. At least Gisele was there. According to my sources, Tom Brady would have held the flag for the U.S.A. but he’s busy at training camp. Devon Travis, however, was busy leading off his third straight game for Toronto. The second year infielder is batting .313 over the past week with three homers, 4 runs, and 5 RBI, including that game-saving shot Friday night. It’s Devon Providence! Let’s call him Christ the Redeemer. Remember last April when he hit .325 with 6 home runs? I do. The dude can get hot in a hurry, and batting in this stacked Blue Jays line up could mean big things for your fantasy team. He is slashing .290/.332/.479 with nine homers in 217 at-bats to date, and Travis is currently available in about 70% of fantasy leagues and he’s feeling the Olympic spirit. I’d grab him if you need a middle infielder who plays for Canada but bleeds for the red, white and blue.

Here’s what else I saw Friday night in fantasy baseball:

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So Harry Potter and the Order of The Phoenix was on HBO tonight and before you ask, no I still don’t have cable. Me not having cable is a running joke around here. Sorry if you don’t understand, but this intro is for those who understand that I understand how silly it is, you understand? Anyhoo, it put me in the mindset for this title and it’s also apropos to the actual topic. AJ Griffin…admittedly I could give two bee-sized bowel movements about how good he is or has been. Overall, he’s just not good. He’s about as SP3/4 vanilla as you can get for an MLB team, but that’s neither here nor there. The Royals have suffered so many injuries this year and have seemingly thrown in the towel on the season as they’ve gone into full blown sell mode. I don’t know if that’s what is affecting the production on the field, but it’s clear this team isn’t sniffing the 2015 version. The K rate as a whole is up nearly 4% and they sit mired in 24th overall in wRC+. Factor in they’ve actually been worse since the All-Star break and you have the perfect spot to take advantage of a $6,500 priced pitcher who doesn’t need a gem to outplay his price. When suggesting a pitcher that has a 4+ ERA, it should go without say but yeah, this is a tourney only call. So let the sorting hat decide whether you’re courageous enough to follow through with Griffin and let’s get on with the rest. Here’s my Goblet of Fire hot taeks for this Friday DK slate…

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday August 1st to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.

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Junior 2

When you have to tell people your favorite team’s ace is a 31-year-old rookie, you kinda make a face like Arnold Schwarzenegger right there…  It’s as uncomfortable as a dude getting pregnant!  But for a rebuilding team, I guess nothing is inconceivable after all!

As an unabashed Brewers homer, and owner of the REL Brewers where I have to own a certain amount from my parent team, I’ve been a big follower of the Brew Crew beat, and there’s been buzz for Junior Guerra ever since we picked him up.  I even brought him up on the Pod when he was promoted, much to Grey cackle-ment.  I of course never saw anything like this coming though…  I knew he had a fastball and a great splitter, but that splitter hasn’t been just “great”.  It’s been the best splitter in baseball.  His other stuff is pretty good, but he hit 98 MPH in his last start against the Pirates, and if he can throw gas like that, it’s going to make him a dynamic guy ROS.  So I decided to double up on my Sunday afternoon baseball watching by breaking down Guerra’s start against the Cubs, while watching my Brewers like I would’ve anyway.  Two birds one stone!  Sue me!  Here’s how he looked:

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The White Sox were due to wear throwback jerseys on Saturday, and Chris Sale didn’t want to wear them.  The White Sox refused to relent, so Sale took it upon himself to do something.  Cut to, ahem, ten minutes later and Sale was sent home for throwing a temper tantrum and cutting up all the throwback uniforms.  The most surprising thing in this story:  the White Sox clubhouse had a pair of lefty scissors.  After Sale cut up the White Sox 1976 uniforms, Chet Lemon weighed in, saying, “It was a tough uniform to rock.  The guys on the 1983 team thought they had a reviled uniform.  At least in 1983, you could strut around like a peacock, which they called Paciorek’ing, due to the grace of teammate Tom Paciorek.  In 1976, they dressed me up like a lawn jockey.  That shizz was offensive!”  For his antics, Chris Sale was suspended for five games by the White Sox.  That’s the last time he tries to introduce a cutter without talking to the pitching coach.  Now, if the Red Sox trade for Sale, their top two starters could help win back the casual Jewish Red Sox fan who checked out after Youk and Theo left. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

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If only baseball were as easy as the surface stats tell us. Player A has great peripherals and a pretty ERA. Player B has numbers more hideous than the elephant man, lock him away in the dungeon and let us never speak of him again. It’s all too easy to look at the season long numbers on a player and simply throw him out the proverbial window…or literal window if they really screwed you in your league. But of course, you’re here because baseball isn’t that easy and you’re a straight masochist. With that, enter Anibal Sanchez. Come in close and get a whiff of that stat line…whew! You don’t put up a 6.60 ERA over nearly 90 innings without doing a lot wrong. But even the worst pitchers can put things together for a good stretch and Anibal is far and away not the worst pitcher in baseball so he has that going for him. Know what else he has going for him? He just came off of a 10 K, 2 BB performance against the Twins. I know, I know, they’re the Twins, but its more common for a nice little groove of good pitching than it is to have an ace-like outing and then completely fade the next go. I’m not stumping for Sanchez for anything outside of tourneys but at $4,800, he’ll sure make your dollar stretch for a Coors day. But enough about bad pitchers have good days, let’s talk about good players and good plays. Here’s my Sunday fun day hot taeks for this Sunday DK slate…

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday July 25th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.

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The surname Quintana is listed as having a Spanish origin and meaning “dweller on a piece of land whose rent is one-fifth its produce.” In the case of Chicago White Sox starting pitcher Jose Quintana, this definition seems to be fairly accurate. After all, he starts one-fifth of his team’s games and is compensated roughly one-fifth of what a pitcher his caliber would be on the free agent market. If my math is accurate, this would make him the equivalent of an indentured servant or a government mule in the MLB pecking order. There’s no need to start a fundraiser for this mule, however, as his listed salary of $5.4 million this season is hardly chump change, but the truth is that Quintana has been undervalued and underappreciated for quite some time now. Since the beginning of the 2013 season, Quintana has produced the 6th highest WAR (16.3) among all MLB pitchers, placing him directly above established aces Madison Bumgarner, Zack Greinke, and Jon Lester over that span. He’s also in the midst of arguably his best season to date, as his 3.13 ERA, 1.13 WHIP, and 8.15 K/9 rates represent career best marks in those respective categories. With impressive numbers like these, Quintana is starting to gain more traction in fantasy circles, as his name has been popping up on a lot of top 20 starting pitcher lists around the web in recent weeks. Quintana just might be one of the top dozen or so MLB pitchers in real life, but has his fantasy value followed suit?

Let’s take a look at Quintana’s profile to see if his ascension into the fantasy elite is sustainable moving forward. Here are a few observations:

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Welcome back Y’all, I hope everyone enjoyed the All-Star break. I don’t know about you, but I dread the break, then it comes and I’m actually thankful for it. I feel revived and ready for the second half push, but part of me is still on break until today. So now it’s time to shake off that DK rust, take a deep whiff of some Nitro and get this biatch started. If you’re a little confused about the lead, let me help clear it up. The two L’s I’m referring to are Jon Lester, $9,400 vs the Mets and Mike Leake, $8,200 vs the Padres. Lester had a rough end to the first half pitching 6 of his last 7 games on the road and he got absolutely hammered for 8 ER at NYM two weeks ago, so why would I roll with him today? He’s a veteran who got some much needed rest over the break. Granted, he threw one inning at Petco last Tuesday but I think he’ll be extremely under owned across the board with J-Fer, Sale and Kluber all going tonight. Lester has been great at home this year with a 2.32 ERA while striking out 62 batters over 54 innings and the Mets are second to last in runs scored vs LHP. Wrigley Field is just what the doctor ordered for Lester’s recent road ails as he’s due to get back on track vs a depleted Mets lineup. Mike Leake turns into Mike Stopper when July 1st rolls around. There’s just something that happens to him when the calendar turns on June 30th as he goes lights out on the mound. It’s time to own him in daily and RCL, at least for the next 3 weeks. He went into the break on a high note striking out 10 in Milwaukee over 7 innings. He’s got a solid matchup at home tonight against the Padres who probably didn’t got into St. Louis at a cushy 4 AM Central this morning. I’m counting on Sneaky Leaky to put up a solid line of at least 8 K’s while he puts it to a weary San Diego team that’s still in vacation mode.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run today to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

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Welcome, prematurely balding men and five women who are married to prematurely balding men and decided if you can’t beat them, join them!  Make yourself comfortable, this is gonna be a long post.  Here, enjoy some coffee.  Oops, you just drank rat poison.  Don’t worry, it can’t be worse than owning Chris Archer in the 1st half.  Oh, you owned him and that’s why you drank the poison!  Now, I’m following!   Hey, I’m supposed to be leading!  Before we get into the top 100 for the 2nd half of 2016 fantasy baseball, let’s just be glad our 18-year-old selves can’t see us now, we’d get beat up!  But our twelve-year-old selves would think we’re the coolest!  So, as with all of the other 2016 fantasy baseball rankings, take this list with a grain of salt.  If you need a 2nd baseman, but an outfielder is above him that doesn’t mean you can’t trade that outfielder for that 2nd baseman.  Also, things change in fantasy baseball.  Daily.  I could put Bryce Harper number two on the top 100 list for the second half of 2016 and he could pull a–Well, we won’t even mention an injury with Bryce.  Why soil a good thing, ya know?  This list is a road map for where I think guys are valued.  It’s not the Holy Grail in the Church of Grey, that would be my mustache.  This list is NOT (caps for emphasis, not aesthetics) where I see guys ending up if you were to take their first half and combine it with the 2nd half. This is simply a list of the top hundred fantasy baseball players if you were to pick them up today.  So while David Price did not have the greatest first half, he will appear on this list because I still believe.  The projections are not their combined 1st half and 2nd half numbers; these are their projections for the 2nd half of 2016.  I also liberally used our rest of the season Fantasy Baseball Player Rater.  That’s right, we have a Player Rater that tells you what players will do.  It’s like that camera from The Twilight Zone.  Welcome to the future!  Anyway, here’s the top 100 for fantasy baseball for the 2nd half of 2016:

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