Fantasy Baseball Advice

We’re going streaming! No? Okay, it’s just me then. As I was doing the research for this week, two things happened. One, I threw up at the possibility of adding any of these lower end guys. Secondly, I kept thinking that maybe I am losing touch with the fantasy world. Has one week really shifted to a baseball tangent of have-nots having relevant value. I’m befuddled at the lack of value for this week’s streaming party. With all the lower end pitching that is out there we get 2 start games from possibly the worst 4 teams in baseball (with their respective options for fantasy goodies). I am upset and demand a pamphlet or at least a seminar on how this happened. This week may be a decent week for you to string along 2 or 3 separate one start pitchers instead. I have included a small list of them as well for your viewing enjoyment. So as you read this, approach with caution and just be confident of the fact that better times are coming for two start pitchers. Good luck. (Please be aware that pitchers and match ups change)

One Start options:
Phil Coke – @Sea vs. Fister 4/19
Esmil Rogers – SF vs. Sanchez4/19
R.A. Dickey – Hou vs. Norris 4/20
Jon Garland – Atl vs. Lowe 4/20
Charlie Morton – @Fla vs. Nolasco 4/20
Josh Tomlin – @KC vs. O’Sullivan 4/21
Kyle Lohse – Was vs. Gorzellany 4/21
Derek Holland – KC vs. Francis 4/22
Clayton Richard – Phi vs. Blanton 4/22

Kevin Correia (@Cin-Wood, Was- Hernandez) – Looked good for 5 innings in last start, unfortunately it isn‘t tee-ball. Lack of K’s is unappealing. Staff aces on mediocre teams get no love.

Jake Westbrook (Was-Lannan, Cin-Lecure) – By name he looks awesome this week. By performance, one would think Duncan hates his guts. Let’s be honest he is a lunch pail ground ball pitcher — no more, no less.

Sam LeCure (Ari-Galarraga, @STL-Westbrook) – 2nd start may be in question with DL returnees Bailey and Cueto. Does a really great Robert Smith impression for his Quebec-based cover band. Seems destined to be in and out of rotation all year.

John Lannan (@STL-Westbrook, @Pit-Maholm) – Decent career numbers against the ‘Lou. Better match-ups this week than the last 2, Nats need to start hitting, starting to be referenced with the Mariners.

Brandon Beachy (@LA-Kuroda, @SF-Lincecum) – Ugh and yuck. Doesn’t seem to be getting any easier for the sleeper. 2 rough road starts.

Jason Vargas (Det-Scherzer, Oak-Anderson) – One bad start in between 2 decent. Can’t trust a team that doesn’t score, plain and simple.

Dustin Moseley (@CHC-TBD, Phi-Lee) – Only given up 4 ER all year in 3 decent starts. Hodgepadre indeed.

Bruce Chen (Cle-Carrasco, @Tex-Holland) – Last 10 starts dating back to last year, 7-1 with a 3.45 ERA. I can’t make stuff up like that.

Fausto Carmona (@KC-Davies, @Min-Liriano) – Unreliable, best word I can think of. Based on match-ups though it makes sense. Minny has 3, count them 3 HR’s all year. The Indians are getting it done though, don’t have the talent to sustain but will be a headache for awhile.

Jonathon Niese (Hou-Rodriquez, Ari-Galarraga) – Last 2 starts not so hot, next 2 pale in comparison by offensive measures. Two starts at Metco, a resounding… maybe. The Wandwagon has lost its wheels and is now a sled and ‘Almost Perfect’ has been anything but.

Andres Torres went 2-for-4 with the delicious slam & legs.  My man has slams and legses for days!  This is his 2nd homer and 2nd steal since he’s returned from his appendectomy.  Somehow he’s a Latin 32, but he played this season like an Asian 52, which isn’t an official Razzball glossary term, but comes from my belief that all Asians look much younger until they hit 53-years-old then they look much older than they are.  For instance, you see an Asian man who’s 52-years-old and you’re like, “Wow, you look like you’re about 32-years-old.”  Then you see an Asian man who is 53-years-old and you’re like, “Wow, you look like you’re 97-years old.”  Pat Morita is a great example of this phenomenon.  At the age of 43, he played Arnold on Happy Days and looked young for his age.  At the age of 54, he played Mr. Miyagi and looked ancient.  I’d grab Torres for the final weekend if you’re desperate, but the Giants may rest him once they clinch.  In 2011, I think Torres might suddenly look 97-years-old.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Pablo Sandoval – 1-for-3 with his 13th homer.  Look at Kung F.U. Panda showing a little taste of his extinct power right after everyone in their right mind has already dropped him.

Madison Bumgarner – 5 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 7 Ks as he officially crossed the innings threshold making it not completely safe to draft him next year.  The division, the ballpark, the stuff… It’ll be hard to avoid him, but January Grey might have to look into it further (if I bail J.G. out of jail).

Buster Posey – 2-for-4 with his 17th homer as he hits .313.  You’ll excuse me if I don’t pop a blood vessel next year when it comes to getting in early on Posey.

Mark Reynolds – I forget if I read this or heard it (I think it’s the latter, if it matters), but Reynolds is about to accomplish the impossible.  Something that has never been done before in a full season of at-bats.  He’s going to finish with a higher number of Ks than batting average.  Right now, he sits at 208 Ks and a .198 average.  Aren’t you glad I told you to buy into Mini Donkey in 2009 and to avoid him in 2010?

Felix Hernandez – F-her F’d me.  He’s shut down for the year.  Look elsewhere, I’m crying.  Seriously, stop looking at me.  He was my ace!

Carlos Gonzalez – Mr. Slam & Legs sat yesterday and is sitting on Sunday.  Tracy said now that the Chokies are eliminated there’s no reason to play CarGo.  What’s this the last few days of Senior year and he’s already going to his safety school?  Play the games!

Ryan Ludwick – 0-for-4, batting .218 with 5 homers on the Padres in 198 ABs.  Somebody send those stats to Werth before he thinks about signing with the Padres in the offseason.

Jon Garland – 6 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 8 Ks.  Here’s a great illustration of hodgepadres.  Garland has a 4.34 career ERA in over 2000 innings, so it’s not like it’s fluky.  His home ERA this year is 3.00 in 108 IP.

Drew Stubbs – 2-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 22nd homer.  Power, speed and Ks… I’m getting on board for next year.  That’s the Stubbbub.

Brett Myers – 5 2/3 IP, 8 ER.  Was obviously spooked when the President of NOW threw out the first pitch.

Jon Lester – 4 IP, 8 ER, 14 baserunners, 5 Ks.  The last start of the year should be like a nice cognac.  Not malt liquor sifted through cigarette butts.

Gio Gonzalez – 7 IP, 0 ER, 9 baserunners, 8 Ks and ends the year with an ERA of 3.23, which is below Jon Lester.  Literally.

Cliff Pennington – 1-for-3 with his 6th homer.  I picked him up for yesterday’s game.  Sometimes it’s better to be lucky than good.

Pedro Alvarez – 4-for-5, 5 RBIs and his 4th homer in the last 10 games.  I told you to pick him up 9 games ago.  The preceding was a gentle reminder for you to blame yourself.

Chris Narveson – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 9 Ks.  Has had a great 2nd half and gets Ks, so you’d think I’d be all over him like something on something for next year.  The issue, loyal Razzball reader, Narveson was good last 2nd half too and that didn’t mean anything in the beginning of this year.

Colby Rasmus – 1-for-3 with his 12th steal.  Guy had a good year, so I don’t want unjolly his socks too much, but how does Pujols have more steals than him?  Pujols runs like the nerdy kid in your 6th grade gym class.  He’s all arms and hips!

Chris Carpenter – 9 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks as Carpenter nailed the door shut.  *knock,knock*  Um, I think you locked me in here.

Cliff Lee – 7 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 8 Ks.  The Adverb ended the year with 185 Ks to 18 BBs.  Brilliant Lee.

Peter Bourjos – 3-for-4 with his 5th homer.  Also, he has 10 steals.  He looks like a young Drew Stubbs.  I might avoid him for 2011 and come back at him in 2012.  Will need to think on that though(t).

Mike Aviles – 1-for-4 with another steal.  Honestly, I have no idea what’s gotten into him.  In 244 career games, he has 21 steals.  In the last 6 games, he has 5 steals and he tried to steal in the 6th game but was caught.  Did Boras call him up and say I can get you money if you steal bases?  Did Aviles and Butler make a bet and Aviles doesn’t want to lose because then he has to buy dinner?

Jose Bautista – Hit his 53rd and 54th homers.  Imagine the publicity Bautista would’ve got this year if McGwire, Sosa and Bonds didn’t “save” our game.

Travis Snider – 3-for-6, 2 RBIs and guess what he did for the third game in a row.  Go ahead, I’ll wait.  *scratches head, picks something off big toe, burps*  He homered!  C’mon, that was an easy one.

Edwin Encarnacion – 3-for-4, 3 RBIs and 2 homers.  If you missed out on the dozen other corner infidels I’ve been touting for the last few days, give Edwin a go.

Justin Smoak – Speaking of touted corner infidels, Smoak stayed hot yesterday going 2-for-2 and is now hitting over .400 in the last week.

Mike Stanton – 3-for-5, 5 RBIs and his 22nd homer in his 97th game.  I hate The Beatles, but when I read Stanton’s line tonight I started humming, “I love you…  Yeah!  Yeah!  Yeah!” BTW, Paul McCartney has a lady face.

Leo Nunez – Recorded his 30th save and should get another opportunity this weekend assuming there is one (an opportunity, not a weekend).  The Marlins said they’re trying to rebuild Nunez’ confidence.  Here’s a secret, if someone knows people are attempting to rebuild their confidence, it makes it so much harder.  Maybe it’s confirmation bias, maybe it’s some other made-up, Psych 101 word.  Okay, I’m letting class out a little early today.  Don’t forget to read Chapter 3, “Your Green Pants Don’t Make You Irish, Drinking Does.”

Last week our borderline fantasy starters, I came away with an 3.95 ERA.  Not too shabby considering two of those earned runs came from Ross Ohlendorf, who I warned you to only start in extreme circumstances, and Travis Wood got absolutely rocked for 7 earned runs.  Without those two, the ERA was 2.90 in 62.1 IP.  There were also 62 Ks with 6 Wins.  To recap, these aren’t guys I’d drop anyone worthwhile to get, these starters are meant for streaming purposes and all of their ownership in ESPN is under 50%.  These streamers are listed alphabetically.  Anyway, here’s some borderline starters for this week in fantasy baseball:

Friday, August 27th

Barry Enright – Hey, ya’ll!  It’s Uncle Barry Enright.  Hey, Uncle Barry, good luck in your game vs. the Giants, and please stop touching me there.

Nelson Figueroa – I went to school with a Nelson Figueroa.  He was a midget.  Don’t think it’s the same guy.  Not a great kickoff to the streaming post, but Figueroa has a 2.25 ERA with 15 Ks in his last 16 IP.

Saturday, August 28th

Nick Blackburn – He’s dazzlingly bad, but he gets the Mariners who are slightly worse.  In most leagues, because of his lack of Ks, it’s thans, but no thans.

Joe Blanton – Is in Petco.  Yes, that’s all you need to know.

Jon Garland – See 1/8th of an inch above.

Daniel Hudson – I’m guessing at some point his ownership will move up to normal levels, but, for now, here ya go.

Sunday, August 29th

R.A. Dickey – Was a bit surprised to see him owned in so few leagues.  I don’t trust knuckleballers, but he gets the Astros in his next start.

Jason Hammel – Has a 3.36 ERA at home this year and gets a team (Dodgers) that he’s owned in his career.  Hopefully he can settle that with Jamie and Frank McCourt.

Bud Norris – Goes to Metco.  You’re not going to get Wins, but you will get Ks.

Clayton Richard – Hodgepadre.

Monday, August 30th

Jorge de la Rosa – Solid vs. the Giants and they’re in AT&T Park (is that still the name of it?).

Jake Westbrook – Last week I said something along the lines of, feel free to ignore this recommendation.  And that’s me paraphrasing me!

Carlos Zambrano – If I come out of this day without recommending a real clunker, I’d be surprised. FWIW, Big Z gets the Pirates.

Tuesday, August 31st

Brian Duensing – Has like twenty quality starts in a row!  (The preceding was a small exaggeration, but Duensing has been good outside of his last game in Arlington, which you can’t blame on him.)

Mike Minor – Back in the rotation to go against the Mets.

Wednesday, September 1st

Tom Gorzelanny – Goes against the Pirates, who are marginally better vs. lefties, but, in the end, they are still the Pirates.  Argh.

Jason Vargas – Who says I don’t like AL pitchers? (As streaming options, I really don’t like them.  Vargas is only listed because I hadn’t recommended many AL starters and felt bad.  Don’t start Vargas in mixed leagues.  I almost recommended TBA on the Angels over Vargas.)

Ted Williams hit a HR in his last AB.  John Elway won his 2nd straight Super Bowl in his last start.  Chipper Jones eschewed a standing ovation in favor of a reclining operation.  Sometimes you don’t appreciate greatness until it hits the DL.  In between all the injuries, Chipper Jones has had one of the top 5 careers for a 3rd basemen in WAR (behind only Schmidt, Eddie Mathews, Boggs and Brett).  Fairly well, Glass Chipper, keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars while trying not to pull any ligaments.  Omar Infante should now play every day for the rest of the year even after Prado returns.  He’s a solid average contributor and… Well… Uh…  Yeah, average.  That’s it.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Freddie Freeman – Frank Wren says the injury to Chipper doesn’t change Freeman’s timetable.  Glaus’ inability to hit anything other than weak grounders to the shortstop could change that timetable though.  Right now, I don’t think we see Freeman until September.  Stay tuned!  Or not.  Your choice.

Jonathan Papelbon – 1/3 IP, 3 ER.  I’m already dreading the ongoing storyline of 2011 that will lead to questions like this, “Grey, when will Bard take over the closer job?  When will Papelbon get traded?  How do you get your mustache so full?”

Jed Lowrie – 1-for-3 with his 1st homer.  He’ll be in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell.  I’m still waiting for Chacin from last week?! He didn’t get called up like he was supposed to so there was no reason to mention him in the Buy/Sell, random italicized voice.  You’re lucky I’m forgiving.

Jarrod Saltalamacchia – 2-for-4.  Salty’s bachia.  He’ll be backing up V-Mart primarily, but in two catcher or AL-Only leagues I’d try some Salty.  Just make sure no one seasons the plate right before you.

Bobby Jenks – Left the game with a bad back.  Weird, cause he looks like he’s in such good shape.  I think Rubenesque is the term.  Putz and Thornton are the pickups, in that order.  Though it could easily go the other way.

Matt Cain – 6 IP, 3 ER, 9 baserunners, 9 Ks.  I know it’s of little consolation but he was unlucky in the first inning to give up 2 of those runs.  Then again, he’s been lucky for two years straight so I guess it’s only fair.

Pat Burrell – 2 HRs, 5 RBIs.  You know this’ll only encourage Brian Sabean to sign more over the hill players.  He must be stewing about missing out on Jim Edmonds.

Pablo Sandoval – 2-for-4 with a homer.  The Panda’s hitting almost .400 in the last week on something other than a scale.

Casey McGehee – 4-for-4, 3 RBIs with his 18th homer.  This is what Rudy said to me on IM yesterday, “I wish we got McGehee on more teams.  You and your freakin’ Headley.”  Only he didn’t use the word freakin’.

Stephen Drew – Hit his 2nd homer in as many games.  This guy’s about two years overdue for a hot streak.  Could surprise with a big final month and a half.  Though, technically, it wouldn’t be that surprising since I’m pointing it out.  Neverthehoo!

Shane Victorino – Activated from the DL and that makes the 2010 Domonic obsolete.  In keepers, hold tight.  In redraft leagues, you gotta let Brown go.

Carlos Ruiz – 3-for-5, 3 RBIs.  He’s been hitting the ball well in the last ten days.  I gotta fess up, I haven’t mentioned Ruiz because I know the mention of any hot hitting catcher leads to a cacophony of “Should I drop Napoli for ______?”

Ryan Howard – Says he should be able to return at or around August 17th.  Hopefully everyone’s got their infieluenza shot.

Jonathan Broxton – Gave up three earned runs and recorded no outs.  This is the kind of outing that loses closers their job.  I seriously doubt if he gets the next save chance.  I’m not sure if he’ll be officially replaced or if he’s just given a rest from closing.  I think it’ll be the latter, but you never know.  I’d grab Octavio Dotel everywhere, in the non-perverse way.

Jeanmar Gomez – 6 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 3 Ks.  Jeanmar, may I ask if you’re Flemish?  Why do you ask? Because saying your name makes me hock up phlegm.

Michael Brantley – 4-for-5 with a steal and 9-for-24 with a homer since his recall.  Could be a cheap source of steals.  SAGNOF!

Jason Kubel – Yesterday, he hit his 6th homer since the All-Star break.  Member when I ranked him crazy high in my 2nd half rankings?  I don’t want to say I told ya so, but isn’t the essence of the ‘I told ya so’ said by saying ‘I don’t want to say I told ya so.’

Kevin Slowey – Will start on Sunday vs. the A’s.  I’m not sure if that’s the good news or the bad news.

Ryan Ludwick – It’s actually pretty interesting how hitters get hot, I talk about them for about a week then they go cold and there’s a new batch.  Maybe it’s only interesting to me.  If you’ve been following since Monday, you already know what Ludwick did yesterday.  *SPOILER ALERT* It’s the same thing he’s done three times this week.

Jon Garland – 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks.  I know the first rule of Razzball is you do not talk about Razzball, but if you were ever to explain a hodgepadre to someone.  Here’s an easy way.  Garland’s Away ERA is 4.52.  In Petco, 2.69.

Jose Reyes – 2-for-4, 2 steals.  Everyone else is catching charges so Reyes decided to start stealing.

Johan Santana – 9 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 10 Ks.  Clearly he’s as good at picking apart a lineup as he is at getting picked out of a lineup.

Hisabobby Takafelicianell – The Mets bullpen is in tatters… Shattered.  Key syllable is shat.  Will the closer be Brother Rob or Disco Bobby Parnell?  Feliciano just cut his hair and is no longer interesting.  Hisanori is a fun name to say, but does Manuel go there?  Don’t know.  Do the Mets even get a save?  Hard to say.  I grabbed Hisanori and Parnell, then I dropped Parnell and grabbed Feliciano.  Then I dropped Feliciano, took a steam, had dinner and benched Hisanori.  Now, I’m exhausted.

Francisco Rodriguez – To the restricted list and could be out for a few days or longer.  Mets fans are just upset he isn’t married to Omar Minaya’s daughter.

The deadline is here. Nobody has any money, but want top starting talent. Huh? Whatever happened to, you have to spend money to make money? Several big deals are coming. Haren and Oswalt top most teams wish lists. As I sat at the Yankee game on Friday, dancing in the rain(literally), I realized that you need two people to do the Kid N Play dance. Huge fail. I still can’t believe that it’s week 17 already for fantasy. Teams that are out of it you won’t hear from again until the draft next year. Top teams are trading pennies for dollars, and the middle teams are saying what about us. Not a great list of viable options this week, continue reading you’ll see, but that doesn’t mean that one start from one of these guys won’t help turn your 4-6 into a 6-4 week. It’s getting late in the game to try and make a move so you may have to start gambling if roster space is an ally. Here are the low end two start options for week 17 in fantasy baseball:

Dallas Braden (@ Tex vs. Lewis) (@ Chw vs. Floyd)
Someone tell Dallas that everyday is Mom’s day. Winless since May 9th. ERA hasn’t suffered, still under 4. May get start Sunday, which takes him off the list. ERA 2 runs higher on the road.

Ryan Rowland-Smith (@ Chw vs. Floyd) (@ Min vs. Liriano)
Hyphens are the Malachi of punctuations. Huge disappointment this year. ERA and win total are poor. Seattle is a team in turmoil, and the S.S Mariner is sinking, call mayday.

Jonathon Niese (StL vs. Garcia) (Ari vs. Haren)
Another fledging team, the Mets, are stumbling to the deadline with Minaya still as GM.  He has to have blackmail photos somewhere of the Wilpons. 2.89 ERA over last 10 starts, will get you 5 Ks per start.

Zack Duke (@ Col vs. DeLaRosa) (@ StL vs. Garcia)
First win since May in his last outing. I wanna like Pittsburgh, but they suck out loud. A peripheral nightmare. When was the last Pirate SP that you had to own? Yeah, that’s right, it was Oliver Perez in 2004.  Mercy.

Jon Garland (Lad vs. Billingsley) (Fla vs. Johnson)
Home cooked, numbers don’t lie. 2 starts at home and I’m buying. Has scuffled as of late, but he is still named Jon Garland. Rely on the facts here:  2 home starts, but temper expectations when chasing wins.

Jason Hammel (@ Phi vs. Blanton) (ChC vs. Dempster)
9 wins already, that’s pretty nice for a #3 guy, the Rox are going to go on a tear soon. 3 ERA in last 10 starts is nice. 3/1 K-rate is sneaky. 53 k’s in last 62 innings. ERA 2 runs higher on the road, so may be a sit at Citizens.

Jake Westbrook (Nyy vs. Vazquez) (@Tor vs. Litsch)
Probably only makes one start for the Wahoo’s, likely to be dealt. He will be a completely different pitcher in the NL, hop on early in deep leagues as he may be a trade deadline darling for the playoff push.

Randy Wolf (Cin vs. Arroyo) (@ Hou vs. Wright)
Seriously gets left in for 12 runs, against the Pirates, nonetheless. Ugh, fantasy ineptitude at its best. I miss the days of the Wolf masks and dancing around like Thriller when he pitched.

Brandon Morrow (Bal ve Bergesen) (Cle vs. Huff)
K/9 leader for starting pitchers. ERA is getting to a respectable level. Awesome matchups this week. Ride the Ks, wins should follow.

Joe Blanton (Col vs. Hammel) (@ Was vs. Atilano)
Name sounds like the guy who runs the neighborhood junkyard. Gives up way too many hits. Throws an 8 K game and then craps the bed, that’s fantasyspeak for waiver fodder.