Joe Nathan reclaimed his closer job this year but was missing something, consistently putting his team behind the 8-ball, so the Twins shifted to CAPPS. On March 25th, I said this about the Matt Capps and Taipei Slinko shituation, “Here’s what I see happening. Nathan gets torched and Capps saves a few games while Nathan works things out. Then Nathan returns, gets torched again and, finally, the Twins send him to the Disgraceful List.” And that’s me quoting me! Right now, we’re at the point where Nathan’s off to work things out. I don’t think this ends well for Nathan. Someone in the Twins organization should’ve stepped forward and said, “Hey, Taipei, you’re a gamer in the non-nerd way, we appreciate that. No one likes nerds — the candy or otherwise. But, listen to me, you’re rushing yourself back. Chillax! Go get a Jamba Juice, enjoy some me time and let’s take it slow with your recovery.” But, well, that didn’t happen. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Brian Duensing – 7 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 5 Ks. He’s a Duensing machine! Would I pick him up in certain deep leagues? Yes, but I don’t trust him. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Not that there’s anything wrong about being from NJ. Both Rudy and I are proud to be from NJ, though not in NJ. NJ ex-pats are great. We spread our love of high-haired women and capicola around the country. As for Jay Bruce, he’s sucking on the ol’ suckhole. You can say that again, but please don’t just say it again cause that’s lame; I really don’t like when people do that. Please, blog, may I have some more?
In last year’s top 80 outfielders post, I told you to take a flyer on Krispie Young, Delmon Young and Nick Swisher. Like the quarter of Harrison Ford that is Jewish, not too shabby. Then there was crap, crap, kinda crap and Jason Heyward. That’s what you’re probably getting late at outfield again this year. I’m no Nostradumbass, but I’m telling you there’s not going to be a whole lot of greatness coming out of this post. We’re Cousteau deep right now. So all the 2011 fantasy baseball rankings are found under yonder and we’re moving onto pitchers next. That should excite you, you special person you. Anyway, here’s the top 80 outfielders for 2011 fantasy baseball:
61. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ryan Perry got the save yesterday because Jose Valverde is out with a tender elbow. Valverde isn’t supposed to be out long but whenever a reliever’s elbow is in question — or any pitcher, for that matter — it’s cause for concern. With the Tigers playing for nothing, they could shut Valverde down. Phil Coke could see some situational saves. When reached for comment about his new role, Phil Coke said, “This is it?” By the way, he’s the best lefty reliever synonymous with Coke since Steve Howe. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Johnny Damon – 4-for-4, 2 Runs and an RBI. Not a bad day to stream him into my lineup. Hit the wall, turn on the lights, blow on my fist, rub fist on leather jacket and say, “Ayyyyyy.” (Wasn’t as great a day to stream Casper Wells or Don Kelly, who’s also known as LL Donkey.)
Rick Porcello – 8 IP, 3 ER, 4 baserunners, 3 K. It’s legitimately hard for me to give a non-hedged endorsement to Porcello. I don’t like his lack of Ks, but at this stage in the year, all’s fair in love and the waiver wire. Porcello’s pitching well and gets the Royals in his start after next. His next start vs. Please, blog, may I have some more?
If there’s one guy who can’t afford to lose a foot, it’s the five-three Dustin Pedroia. As of post time, it’s not clear how long Pedroia will be out with his fractured foot. My guess is 4 to 6 weeks. One thing Scrappy Doo does is fight. It’s a wonder he can carry around the over-sized baboon heart he’s got. One thing Scrappy Doo doesn’t do (say that fast 117 times) is sit on the sidelines, but to paraphrase the Christian Slater/Marisa Tomei classic, Untamed Heart, “You love with your mind and soul, not your heart. But you don’t hit with your mind and soul when you have a fractured foot.” So while Dusty’s shelved, you need to find a replacement. Some ways you can look for average? Aviles or Kendrick. Steals? Figgy or Theriot. RBIs? Barmes or Guillen. Runs? Walker or Polanco. All of these options depend on your league depth, obviously. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Clay Buchholz – Hyperextended his knee on Saturday, but the word on Lansdowne Street is he will avoid the DL and shouldn’t miss more than one start, even if that. Good news indeed, he’s Clay aching but he should be back to filling your fantasy gloryhole soon. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Here’s what my crystal ball said on March 5th, “(Medlen) averaged over a K an inning last year. Will start the year as an MR, barring an injury to someone… *cough* Jar Jar *cough*. Medlen will get into the rotation shortly. Meesa tinks Jar Jar won’t make it the whole year healthy.” And that’s me quoting me! Kris Medlen is now the starter as the Braves wash Jurrjens out of their hair for at least three weeks while he deals with a strained hamstring. I grabbed Medlen in one league where it made sense. He gets a tough first matchup going against the Phillies at Citizens Flank. If Medlen pitches well in his first start, he’ll be added everywhere. So depending how bad you need him, you add him now or prepare to rush to grab him on Saturday. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Jason Heyward – Left yesterday’s game with a sore groin, which would be a good name for a Viagra-type drug, but spelled “soar” and with an exclamation mark. Oh, and speaking of groins…
Bobby Cox – The congratulatory cake made by the Senate for Bobby Cox had an unfortunate misspelling. Maybe Jim Eisenreich was the baker. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Unlike our last team, Rudy and I co-drafted this team. So for every bad pick, Rudy and I have someone to blame. Neither will take it personal. We managed to work Elijah Dukes onto this team, who’s a total dwyck. This is a 20 team, 5×5, roto league and still is, so we have more arms than Bruce Willis. Get well soon, Guru! The team breaks down like this: Catcher, 1st Baseman, 2nd Baseman, 3rd Baseman, Shortstop, 3 Outfielders, Utility, 2 SPs, 2 RPs, 3 Ps and a 4 man bench. Anyway, here’s a 2010 fantasy baseball team and some thoughts from the draft:
Round 1 – Ryan Braun – We skipped A-Rod and Utley. Our thought process went like this. With only one position player for each position, 3 outfielders and one utility man, we figured outfielders would make up the majority of the teams’ Utility spots and might even end up in the bench spots. So you’re looking at drafting about 100 outfielders vs. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jair Jurrjens went for an MRI the other day. Results came back negative, which is oddly enough a positive. That’s nice. I wouldn’t go near him with your fantasy baseball team. I don’t wish ill on anyone, except for Jamie Kennedy. If you want risk, leave the mayo out in the sun for three hours. If you want to win your fantasy baseball league, don’t go drafting a guy who’s already getting MRIs. The list of players who have had arm problems in February and have gone on to have solid seasons is one: Luke Appling, but he was a total hypochondriac and probably didn’t have any arm problems to begin with. I’ve dropped Jar-Jar out of my top 40 starters for 2010 fantasy baseball and took 40 innings away from his projections. Anyway, here’s some more goings-on for fantasy baseball:
Johnny Damon – My guess is the Tigers will get their Damon. Please, blog, may I have some more?
After the top 20 outfielders for 2010 fantasy baseball, guess what we have here? The top 40 outfielders for 2010 fantasy baseball. That’s right, Wonderful just gave birth to Awesome. Wanna hear something even awesomier? I’m going to turn this to 60 then 80. Hopefully I don’t blow my amp. The hardest part about writing these 2010 fantasy baseball rankings posts is writing this opening. Trying to make the clerical stuff sound less clerical, ya know? Actually, when I point it out, it gets more clerical. As with other rankings, where I see tiers beginning and ending are mentioned along with my projections. Anyway, here’s the top 40 outfielders for 2010 fantasy baseball:
20. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Gone over the catchers, 1st basemen, 2nd basemen, shortstops and 3rd basemen. Guess what’s next! The title might have gave it away. With the top 20 outfielders a pattern emerges. Steroids can be tested for, but Red Bull can’t. It was the summer of speed and somewhere Ron LeFlore smiles. Since outfield is a deep position, I think I’m going to turn this one to 40. Those will be here on Thursday. Anyway, here’s the top 20 outfielders for 2009 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:
1. Please, blog, may I have some more?