John Mayberry

Grey

Top 80 Outfielders for 2012 Fantasy Baseball

| 2012 Fantasy Baseball Draft, 2012 Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 27 Comments

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I’m no Nostradumbass, but I’m telling you there’s not going to be a whole lot of greatness coming out of this post.  We’re Cousteau deep right now.  The first tier have some nice flyers that you may drop after a week or so and the other schmohawks in this post are, well, schmohawks.  So all the 2012 fantasy baseball rankings are found under yonder and we’re moving onto pitchers next.  That should excite you, you special person you.  C’mon, let me pinch your cheeks.  I didn’t say your face cheeks.  Hey now!  Anyway, here’s the top 80 outfielders for 2012 fantasy baseball:

61.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Ray Gets A Stinger

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 102 Comments

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B.J. Upton went o-for-3 or one-for-four if you count him hitting the outfield wall.  You say unfeeling, I say how dare he start in front of Desmond Jennings.  I sat down to watch this game wearing my dress made of doilies with Desmond Jennings’s face on each doilie, i.e., my Desmond tutu, only to find him benched.  How dare you, sir.  In fact, I’m bringing out the douchey one word per sentence thing.  How.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey / Rudy

Coyote Uggla

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 174 Comments

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Dan Uggla has now homered in two straight games, but, more importantly, he has two other hits in those games, making him hotter than a junebug on a duck’s back or some other yokelism they say in The South.  That’s at least compared to how he looked like Rocky Dennis on all his swings prior to this week.  That’s if Rocky Dennis wore Affliction.  “Yo, yo, yo, whaddup, boss?  Get another round of Flaming Nads for my lady friends!”  That’s Dan Uggla at Senor Frog’s.  (BTW, it looks like the 3rd Giambi brother in the background of that Uggla picture.)  I don’t think Uggla can get his average much higher than .230, but he’s still more than capable of getting to 30 homers.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Jair Jurrjens – 6 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 2 Ks as he continues to defy his FIP.  BTW, if you were in a fantasy league with Murray Chass, you’d be getting your ass handed to you.  “Hey, Grey, I just traded Alexi Ogando to Murray Chass!”  That’s you two months before you’re throwing darts at a board with my picture.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Youk Thumbs Up the Jam

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 231 Comments

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Thumb up the jam, thumb it up!  While your feet are stompin’!  Sorry, hard to stop that once I start.  Kevin Youkilis was placed on the 15-day DL with his jammed thumb.  Thumb up the jam, thumb it up!  Youkilis was diagnosed with a tear of the muscle that helps contract the thumb.  It’s a rare injury.  Hey, maybe they can name it after him.  Careful, brah, you’re gonna give yourself The Youk Thumb!  Sounds like Youk won’t be rating movies anytime soon.  If the injury is exacerbated, it could be career threatening.  DL him for now while you wait for more news, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Youk’s not back for a while, if at all this year.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Mike Lowell – Started at 1st base for the Red Sox and hit a homer.  Last August, Lowell put up 14/5/15/.319 numbers, which is pretty much what you could’ve expected from Youuuuuuuk.  There’s no guarantee Lowell has that month again, but if you’re really hurting for a corner man, there ya go.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Tangled Webb

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 226 Comments

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Brandon Webb may miss the rest of the season.  Nothing good comes from drafting a top pitcher.  Nothing, I tell you.  I own Peavy in two leagues, so I’m right there with youse.  Remind next year to revert back to not drafting starters in the first five rounds.  Actually, next year you probably will be able to get Webb and Peavy after the fifth round.  Hmm, that’s a pickle.  Guess we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.  Webb was diagnosed with an “Ain’t Getting Better” problem.  Captain Obvious says, “When a guy misses three months, then goes for an MRI, it’s not a good sign.”  I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s shutdown for the year.  But you’ve held him this long, what’s another day or two to hear the full prognosis?  BTW, prognosis is doctor-talk for the 411.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Coco Crisp – Out for the season when his shoulder went snap, crackle, pop.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

J-Roll the Dice

| Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 343 Comments

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Right now betting on Jimmy Rollins to turn it around seems like a Horn Bet.  Unless Ben Zobrist is rolling the dice.  Rollins is too old, he’s too tired and he’s too… Wait, he’s not blind.  Though his average might make you think he could use some of Ortiz’s eyedrops.  His line on the year is 40/6/27/.225/10.  I just popped a zit onto a mirror and it spelled out, “Blech.”  Rollins’s K rate, ground balls and fly balls are about where they should be.  But, and it’s a J.

Please, blog, may I have some more?