In case you were on a three day bender with Michael Madsen, Troy Tulowitzki will miss up to 8 weeks with a broken wrist. It’s old news by now, but sometimes you just wanna know what Grey has to say. Hey, hey, hey. Wrists are tricky things for hitters. I wouldn’t be surprised if Tulo returns in August and doesn’t start hitting well until September. If you own him, there’s nothing you can do but sit on him. Not literally, unless you have his permission. I wouldn’t trade for him, unless it’s a keeper and you’re rebuilding for next year and can get him for cheap now that he’s out. The Rockies called up Chris Nelson, but he just looks like infielder depth while SS and 2nd base get manned by Clint Barmes and Jonathan Herrera, who sounds like a fashion designer, so if you hear someone say, “Nice glove work by Jonathan Herrera!” You tell them it’s a knockoff. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Manny Corpas – 0 IP, 5 ER. Corpas Christi! The last two days this guy left my ratios looking like a Port Authority toilet. Huston Street gets activated on Tuesday, but Tracy says he’s going to ease Street back into role. Since I own Corpas and not Street on several teams, I’m not sure if I want Street to become the closer sooner or later. Also, for Street owners, if Tracy doesn’t get Street back into the role in short order, he may end up injured again before recording a save. Cust kayin’. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Tommy Hanson‘s line yesterday was one and two-thirds innings and eight earned runs. Yes, you’ve been Pwnson’d. Hanson said he felt dizzy during the game, I’m sure his owners can sympathize. Hanson has an ERA of 4.18 on the year and back to back bad starts. Try and put a pine tree air freshener on that and it still stinks. Going into this year, I steered clear of Hanson. I was legitimately worried about his innings pitched jump from ’08 to ’09. So sell fast right now? Not so fast, Paulo. I’m going under the assumption that you don’t own him because you listened to me in the preseason. Hanson has a tremendous K-rate and his walks have been fine. Even yesterday it was an ill-timed homer to Votto that did him in. Do I think Hanson could still be a risk because of his innings last year? Yup, you betcha. But I’d buy him for 50 cents on the dollar. It depends how cheap you can swindle his dramatized owner. It takes alligator blood to check raise to the bed wetter. Anyway, here’s what else saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Brooks Conrad – If you didn’t see the end of the Braves game, you should try to catch the Brooks Conrad homer. Unlike Nix. Please, blog, may I have some more?
I can’t believe it is week 6 already (though I should have known), most leagues are starting to make crazy trades, build for the future or are just not interested in their teams. It’s been a crazy last few days with some really horrible trades in some of my leagues. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Trevor Hoffman has been lights out all year. Maybe he jumped in the Cocoon pool. Octavio Dotel? The post office said they’re going to a five day week because of cutbacks and the amount of fan mail coming in for Dotel. Now hold the preceding up to a mirror. Dotel as a Pirate has done nothing except plunder his fantasy owners’ goodwill. Even Roger ain’t Jolly. The Hoff looks drunk. And Trevor too. The pickups for this duo of dud is Carlos Villanueva, Joel Hanrananananan, Brendan Donnelly, Evan Meek, Hawkins, Coffey, Shelley Duvall, the guy at Subway that kinda skeeves you out, the Polish Sausage in the 7th inning stretch race and Cher. Pick them up in that order. For full disclosure, I grabbed Hanaranananan because Villanueva was taken in all of my leagues. I didn’t go deeper than that. Some shituations just aren’t worth the ulcer. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Garrett Jones – 2-for-7, 1 RBI. After his first four at-bats yielded 4 Ks, Robot really turned it on. Fool him 5 times, shame on Robot. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Our weekly Friday Fantasy Baseball Feature, Buy Low/Sell High is back after an offseason layoff. When asked what this fantasy baseball feature did during the offseason, it said this, “My family and I got together with the Fantasy Baseball Keeper posts’ family and we rented a Cruise America RV. Spent most of our days touring ice fishing spots in Montana and our nights were spent swapping wives.” Alrighty then! To get everyone on the same page, I like the Buy guys. I dislike the Sell guys. Now I’m not saying to actually sell all the guys in the Sell section or to drop them. Lots of times I’m simply saying to expect their current positive vibe to turn negative. Also, if Alcides Escobar is in the Buy section (which he is!) and Berkman is in the Sell section (there too!) that doesn’t mean I recommend you trade Berkman for Escobar. Everything’s relative, Einstein. Anyway, here’s some guys to buy and sell for the 1st week of the fantasy baseball season (start the games already!):
Alcides Escobar – He stole 16 bases in 45 games this winter down in Venezuela. (Ugueth Urbina did the same, but it was with a firearm.) Brewers should bat Escobar 2nd in front of Braun and Fielder. 100+ Runs, 40 steals and a middling average aren’t out of the question. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ryan Madson finally took over for Brad Lidge. This was only about three months in the making and after six separate endorsements by Manuel saying Lidge is their closer. Ah fanabla, what a headache. Ever since Brett Myers returned from his MMA training, fantasy baseballers (that’s you!) seem ready to put Myers in the closer role. That would be too easy, right? Right. No, Madson’s the first guy to grab and maybe Myers sees time here and there. I’d grab both of them, unless you have a bleeding ulcer, then I’d stay away. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Scott Feldman – 7 IP, 0 ER, 5 Ks and leads the AL with 16 wins. Shoot me now. Seriously. Shoot me and Randy Wolf while you’re at it. Please, blog, may I have some more?
A lot of starting pitchers have been traded by the A’s. Some fare great (Haren), some have mixed results (Hudson), some collapse (Mulder). But there has never been an ex-A’s starting pitcher that seems to miss the AL West as much as Chad Gaudin. While he did get crushed @ LAA, his last 3 starts @SEA, home against SEA, and @TEX have netted 21 IP / 2-1 / 2.14 ERA / 0.76 WHIP / 28 Ks. That’s a Peavian 12 K/9 IP with a K/BB ratio of 21:5. We’ve had Gaudin on a couple of deep league teams since we love NL West pitchers and it’s been hard to recommend him because he’s been so damn wild. But after these past three dominating starts (8+ Ks, 2 or less BBs), he’s a must pickup in any league format at this point. Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Everth Cabrera – 3-for-8 this weekend, with one steal. If you need steals, don’t wait until after the 3 steal game to grab him. He may not be there. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Kelvim Escobar was sent to the bullpen. His value goes from potentially good to potentially nothing. Scioscia said Escobar will be pitching out of the bullpen for the rest of the season. Scioscia also said Brandon Wood would start at shortstop two years ago and said Arredondo, the guy now in the minors, would be the closer and he said Rex Hudler’s got the best herb, when he wants to get wiggy with Figgy. Escobar will probably start games again in a month or two. But even if that is the case, he’s about as good to you now as those X-ray glasses you bought out of the back of a comic book when you were twelve. Matt Palmer gets a boost in value, which is to say he actually has value now. Please, blog, may I have some more?
J.P. Howell has back-to-back blown saves. Joe Nelson hasn’t even sniffed a save opportunity after getting saves when Percival was healthy. Balfour has given up 7 runs in the last five games. Isringhausen hasn’t pitched in June. Dan Wheeler got his first save opportunity on Saturday and blew it. Lance Cormier sounds like a hockey goalie. Who’s leading the Rays bullpen since Percival went down? Lefty specialist, Randy Choate, of course! When asked after the game if he’ll ever decide on a closer, Joe Maddon pushed his Buddy Holly glasses up the bridge of his nose and said, “That’ll be the day.” Where’s Percival when you need him? I would hold one of Howell or Wheeler for now, if you have room. If you’re desperate for saves, I’d put the other five names in a hat then let Akinori Iwamura pick out a name. That’s what Joe Maddon does. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Mike MacDougal – Manny Acta said MacDougal was the new Nats closer. The rest of the league said, “Bring on the ninth!” I’ll put MacDougal’s saves at 2 and his blown saves at 3. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Josh Hamilton hits the DL and could be out for two months. I’m not one to say I told you so, but… Man did I call this one! Schadenfreude, snitches! Sorry, I had to get that off my chest. Really, no one could’ve saw this coming…. Please, blog, may I have some more?