Fantasy Baseball Advice

Chris Carpenter went five innings giving up no runs, allowing 4 baserunners, adding in 6 Ks, driving in 6 runs and five golden… rings.  12 runs for the Cards, but everyone was a ticker tease, except for Carpenter who pitchslapped Kip Wells.  LaRussa’s mind must be swimming with ideas….Do I hit him 8th?  7th?  Do I platoon him with Ankiel in the OF and have Ankiel come in for intentional walks?  Do I go with a Singapore Sling or an Old Fashioned?  Why is Dave Duncan looking at me?  Is my fly open?  How come no one read my book, Tonyball?  If I’m facing East, my hair should be facing West!  Why is it going South?!  If homeless people have no homes, why do they lug around so much junk?  Homeless people shouldn’t be pack rats!… Wow, there’s a lot swimming in Tony’s mind.  Interesting to peek into the mind of a genius, ain’t it?  Surprised he didn’t mention this is the last roundup of the year.  Ho-hum, so sad.  There will still be a new post every week day through the fall and winter, so check your separation anxiety at the door.  I’m still here.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Scott Baker – 5 IP, 0 ER.  His FIP last year was 3.79.  This year it was near 4.  So he was .20 off of last year.  He throws around 7 Ks per 9 innings.  So he’s good for about 155 Ks.  His Post-All-Star Break ERA was 3.39.  Guess what I’m saying is I’m going to predict next year he’ll pitch around a 3.75 ERA, good WHIP and solid Ks and he’ll be someone to look at as a third fantasy starter with number two upside and number four downside.  And in three months, I’ll quote that.

Orlando Cabrera – 2-for-5, 3 RBIs.  Behind the scenes of Razzball, I’m busy doing the top 20 recaps that will be coming your way over the next few weeks.  So O-Cab made it pretty high on the top 20 list for SSs.  I’m like, “Cool, he had a good 2nd half.”  He hit 4 homers and stole 6 bases while batting .296.  Okay, so he had a good two months?  Nope.  The shortstops are so shallow that a good five weeks is all it took.  Anyway, I’m jumping the gun, those recaps will be coming next week.

Delmon Young – 3-for-4 yesterday.  He’s batting .309 with one homer in September.  This is considered a good month for him.  Would I pickup Young off waivers next year?  Sure.  I wouldn’t draft him.  I’m not going to write someone off who’s only 24, but I’m at the point where I want to see something from Young before I take the gamble on him in 2010.  I mean, Ryan Raburn and Garrett Anderson are above Delmon Young on ESPN’s Player Rater.  Young’s the new blech.

Aaron Cook – 8 IP, 1 ER, 2 Ks.  It’s Rocktober.

Tim Lincecum – 7 IP, 2 ER.  I’m giving him the Cy Young.  He threw more innings than Carpenter, way more Ks and he’s dazzling.  I know, it’s tough to judge dazzling, but if you’ve ever watched Lincecum pitch you know what I mean.  It’s kinda like a choice between the crazy hot girl that would cheat on you and the sweet girl that would make a nice mother.  I’m taking the crazy hot girl.  For what it’s worth, I think the voters go with Carpenter.  What’s a shame in all of this is Wainwright’s getting totally ignored.  Maybe I just have a special kinship to Wainwright because I own him on a few teams and I pushed many people to draft him this year.

Mark Reynolds – 1-for-4, up to 215 Ks.  This last month (4 homers, 2 steals, .187) is why I’m going to probably take a pass on Reynolds if people are grabbing him in the top 50.  I saw value in him when people were drafting him around 200.  I see very little value for next year.  What do you want, I’m frugal.  It’s a recession after all.

Dan Haren – 6 IP, 5 ER, 7 Ks.  Ends the season with a 3.14 ERA and a 4.44 ERA in the 2nd half.  The good news is his next start is scheduled for the 1st half.

Derrek Lee – Scratched for personal reasons.  Maybe he has crabs.

John Lackey – 2 IP, 2 ER and 40 pitches.  This is about what you can expect from starters who are headed to the playoffs. I wouldn’t expect more than 5 innings from any of them.  This is a shout out to you Hamels owners.

Kevin Millwood – 9 IP, 2 ER, 10 Ks.  And this is what to expect from pitchers facing teams headed to the playoffs.

Chris Davis – 3-for-5, and hit his 21st homer of the year.  I can’t wait to see what Bill James predicts for Chris Davis for 2010.  No sarcasm there, really interested.

Cliff Lee – 5 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 6 Ks.  The Adverb finishes with a 3.39 ERA for Philly.

Kendry Morales – Hit his 34th homer yesterday.   The best case scenario would be the Angels are eliminated quickly from the playoffs.  Worst case scenario is, in late-October, Joe Buck saying something like, “America’s getting a firsthand look at what Kendry Morales has been doing all year.”  Then Tim McCarver says, “Good thing there weren’t more men on base when Mt. Everest erupted cause then there would be more runs.”

The Washington Nationals babied their future shortstop, Esmailyn Gonzalez, through their minors until they realized that Esmailyn shouldn’t be babied, he should be old-man’d. Kinda like the orphan in The Orphan that turned out to be a dwarf hooker. (Haven’t seen it, but the spoiler kinda makes me want to.) So the Nats sent Bowden away on his Segway and started looking at what else they had in the way of shortstops.  Hiring a 7 foot guy with tattoos to card everyone, they realized Ian Desmond should get himself a look.  And so it goes, so it goes.  Yesterday, he hit his first major league homer in his first major league game.  Desmond has a decent blend of speed and power (think The Big FraGu at shortstop).  The “at shortstop” thing is the clincher.  It’s a shallow position, you can do worse, yadda yadda yadda.  I don’t think he’s going to be all peaches and cream next year, so I wouldn’t go crazy with him in keepers (unless it’s deep and NL-Only), but he could give you a burst of hotness in these late September weeks.  He’s gotta be better than Gordon Beckham at this point, right?  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Mike MacDougal – Couldn’t get an out and gave way to Ron Villone for the save.  It’s probably nothing, but some extremely desperate save vultures may want to swoop.  BTW, MacDougal’s legal name is Robert Meiklejohn MacDougal.  Isn’t that the name of a piece of Ikea furniture?

Brett Cecil – 6 IP, 2 ER in his final start of the year.  I’ll like him next year.  He’s capable of taking a nice step forward.  Pretty much won’t be anything but an endgame flier in most 2010 drafts.

Joe Blanton – 4 2/3 IP, 8 ER.  Getting outpitched by Livan Hernandez in September is not the time to revert to being the mediocre pitcher I always thought you were.  June, July, even August… Not September.

Brad Lidge – File this one in the cabinet labeled, “Yeah, No Kidding.”  Two days after being told he’s the closer, Lidge was told yesterday that he won’t pitch in save opportunities anymore.

Angel Pagan – Went 3-for-4 yesterday as Beltran did not play.  *Grey shrugs*

Nate McLouth – Hit his 3rd homer in the last week.  Last time he hit one, I said this, “This is a hunch, but I think he realizes he has three weeks to make his season’s stats look somewhat palatable.”  And that’s me quoting me!

Brian McCann – 4-for-5.  Nice sign because for the last ten games he was 3-for-33.

Mike Gonzalez – Since Bobby Cox is nearly as progressive of a thinker as Archie Bunker and from the old school like Afrika Bambaataa, it took Cox about a month longer than I expected to go to the lefty, Gonzalez, for saves.  With how Soriano’s pitching, this may not be Gonzalez’s last save of the year.

Roy Oswalt – 2 IP, 6 ER.  Months ago, I talked about how I was worried for Oswalt this year.  How I’m not sure if everyone is aware that this isn’t your slightly older brother’s Oswalt.  This Oswalt has games where he gives up six earned in two innings.  Near a 4 ERA on the year seems about what we can expect from him.  A solid #3 with upside.

John Lackey – 9 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks.  In his last three games, he’s thrown 26 innings (that’s a lot for 3 games) and given up only one run (that’s not a lot).

Howie Kendrick – 3-for-3 yesterday.  Scioscia’s only played Kendrick seven times since August 25th.  Giving Kendrick six days off in a row at one time.  Yet, Kendrick’s batting .500 over that time.  Scioscia is either the world’s greatest manager or the world’s stupidest.

Alex Gordon – Hit his 4th homer yesterday.  Comatose Royals fan wakes, “4 homers?  Is it still the first week of April?”

Drew Stubbs – 0-for-4, 2 Ks.  That tingling you felt in your Capezios when you grabbed Stubbs last week should be gone by now.  He’s on the suckwagon heading into K-town.

Jason Frasor – Got the save.  It must be that time of the month.

Eric Young Jr. – 2-for-3, 2 steals.  He’ll be in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell.  The left side of the slash, which is the right side to be on.

Jose Contreras – Left the game with a quad strain.  It’s the curse of being on the cover of the AARP Magazine.

Felipe Lopez was traded to the Brewers yesterday.  This further cements Casey McGehee’s backup/utility/schmohawk MI behind door number 3 role.  McGehee was a Sell on Friday and someone in the Milwaukee brass obviously read that.  Felipe Lopez will prolly bat leadoff and primarily play 2nd base.  He might get a few more Runs, but his value pretty much stays the same.  Right now, Lopez has a 6/6 line on the year.  This will put him in line for the middle infielder that everyone looks at late in next year’s drafts and thinks, “12/12 on the year?  I’ll take that at my MI spot.”  Then by June you’re thinking about how yawnstipating it is.  I was as guilty as anyone in the preseason thinking Lopez had a 20/20 season in him and, at the age of 29, maybe he does, but it sure doesn’t seem like it’s coming this year.  Going to the Diamondbacks were Cole Gillespie and Roque Mercedes, who were both featured prominently in Buena Vista Social Club.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Cla Meredith – The groundball pitcher, Meredith, went from the Padres to the Orioles for Oscar Salazar, the groundball hitter.  Let the trades begin!  Meredith now becomes the go-to Cla in Baltimore replacing Senator Clay Davis.  I have to get one guy out in the 8th inning? Shiiiiiiiiiiit!

Ramon Hernadez – Done for 4-6 weeks with knee surgery.  Luckily, you don’t need knee surgery so you can punt him.

Mark Grudzielanek – The Twins signed him in a textbook, “What were they thinking?” move.  Maybe the Twins GM lost a poker game.

Nelson Cruz – Has a small fracture in his ring finger.  Supposedly, he should be able to play through it.  Though Cruz’s longtime girlfriend is seeing it as an omen.

Jason Marquis – 8 IP, 1 ER.  Won his 12th game yesterday.  The Marquis de Shat leads the majors in Wins.  And you wonder why I say Wins are unpredictable.

Mat Latos – 4 IP, 2 ER.  Held to a conservative 75 pitches.  Not ideal scenario if the Padres are going to handle Latos with guantes de niños.  Still worth owning in NL-Only leagues and leagues deeper than 12 team. (Relevant of nothing, was watching the ESPYs while I wrote this roundup.  Was waiting for Samuel Jackson to say, “These are some tasty goddamn highlights.“)

Franklin Gutierrez – 2 HRs and 2 steals this weekend.  Even if you only start The Big FraGu against lefties, he really should be owned in all leagues at this point.

Johnny Cueto/Yovani Gallardo – Both threw 6 innings of 3 run baseball allowing 11 baserunners each.  Unfortunately, I considered these solid starts for both of them at this point.

Jonny Gomes – HR yesterday off a righty.  With Bruce suffering from Wristie No Attachie, Jonny Cat could see a healthy amount of ABs and have value.  In deep leagues, definitely worth owning for his starts vs. lefties, if nothing else.

J.A. Happ – 7 IP, 0 ER.  The J.A. stands for jackass, as in what I am for telling everyone to drop him two months ago.  Mea culpa, my brother.  But this start was away and I’m still not crazy about starting him at home.

John Lackey – 9 IP, 4 baserunners, 6 Ks.  Lackey hasn’t been a great 2nd half pitcher in the past, but since he’s only thrown 13 starts so far this year, maybe he’ll avoid the slump.  Then again, he only had 11 starts pre-All-Star break last year and still wasn’t great in the 2nd half.  Way to shoot holes in your own example, Grey.

Brett Anderson – 8 IP, 2 baserunners, 6 Ks.  Now has thrown 21 consecutive scoreless innings. Once again, when a pitcher’s hot, you own them.  When they’re cold, you discard them.  Hot — own, cold… You got it.

Matt Kemp – 3-for-3, HR and 4 Runs yesterday.  As Kemp, Ausmus and Kuroda show the Dodgers who the real 1-2-3 hitters are.

Alfonso Soriano – Homers in back-to-back games.  Could hit 15 homers in the 2nd half.  Take it to the bank!  But put it in one of those short-term, tax-free vehicles like a municipal bond.

Jake Fox – HR yesterday in his first start since the All-Star break.  Doesn’t figure to get regular ABs, but if you can afford to bench him when he doesn’t start and play him in daily leagues when he does, it could pay off.  If only Milton Bradley would get hurt already.

Gregg Zaun – HR yesterday, too bad he’s blocked by Matt Wieters.

Jeremy Guthrie – 8 IP, 2 ER.  Well, it took 3 months, but my favorite 6th fantasy starter might finally be coming around.  He could have a good month in the tank, though I wouldn’t start him next time out vs. the Sawx.

Jose Contreras – 4 1/3 IP, 4 ER.  As I pointed last week, “In May of last year, Contreras had a 2.09 ERA in over 43 innings.  In June, he had a 6.83 ERA.  In his last 43 and 2/3 innings, he has a 2.06 ERA.  Beware of a correction in the road.”  And that’s me pointing out the uncanny!  Jose Contreras, The Best Random Forty-Three Innings Pitcher In Baseball.

Joba Chamberlain – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 8 Ks.  Cool, now give me ten more starts exactly like this and I’ll stop cracking on your Moms.

Billy Butler – 4-for-5, no runs and no RBIs.  He’s batting .294 on the year with 8 homers.  By next year, he’s Youuuuk.  It’s called a hunch, people!

Joel Pineiro – 7 IP, 1 ER.  As I said a week or two ago in the Buy/Sell, Pineiro’s a must own at this point.  I know, up the down staircase, Sandy Duncan, but as my fifth grade teacher would say, don’t wonder why, just do or die.

Ian Snell – Lights out in Triple-A, but has said he doesn’t want to return to the Pirates.  If other Pirates hear they have the option of Triple-A, they might have a mutiny.

Ian Kinsler – Sticking with the newly-established Ian theme, 2 HRs yesterday for Kinsler.  Ron Washington says he’s going to give Kinsler more time off in the 2nd half to keep him fresh.  Too bad Ron Washington’s not the manager of my local Indian restaurant.  The Chicken Tikka Masala’s been off recently.  I think the chef needs a rest.

Roy Halladay – 9 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks vs. the Sawx.  After the game, the Yanks reportedly offered their entire farm system for Halladay’s services.  The Mets inquired to see if he can play 1st base and bat third.

Yunel Escobar – 3-for-4, 4 RBIs with his ninth homer yesterday.  If he didn’t have a corner man’s speed (3 steals on the year), he’d actually be intriguing.

Angel Pagan/Luis Castillo/Daniel Murphy – The Mets 1-2-3 hitters.  The Comatose Mets Fan just OD’d on painkillers.

Fernando Nieve – Left yesterday’s game with a leg injury.  Jon Niese should take his place in the rotation.  Score one for the guy that stitches the last names on the jersey.

A two-week vacation did ol’ Grady’s elbow just dandy.  The inflammation Grady Sizemore has been feeling all year has subsided and there’s no need for now to resort to arthroscopic surgery.  That has to be a relief to fantasy baseballers who drafted G-Sizzle with their 1st pick.  So should there be concern that his elbow troubles will reappear? Um, we’re not experts in this area, but we’re pretty sure elbows inflame for a reason.  Unless the elbow belongs to Albert Pujols, it’s probably a safe bet that Sizemore will eventually get shut down or underperform.  What to do?  Not much you can do, except hope you can at least salvage a pro-rated 20/20 from him (or one of those no HR/surprise SB seasons like D-Wright and BJ Upton).   If you can trade him for 80 cents on the dollar (say, Alexis Rios, Granderson, Holliday, etc.), do it in a heartbeat…..Crazy that the most Grady player on the Indians might be Shin-Soo Choo. Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Brad Lidge – Threw a bit yesterday and is eyeing June 23rd for his return.  My crystal ball says on June 24th, I’ll be responding to comment #24 with, “Hold Madson for now.”

Johan Santana – Rick Peterson, former Mets pitching coach, said he’s heard rumors that Johan is dealing with pain in his surgically repaired knee.  And Willie Randolph said he heard a Jerry Manuel-induced charley horse is the root of Reyes’s leg problems.

Pablo Sandoval – 2 HRs yesterday, now has 8 on the year and batting .332.  Betcha wish you didn’t give up on him in April.  As I said so many times before, put a catcher in your catcher slot and press mute on your brain.  Yadier had a hot week! No, random italicized voice, stop with the noise.

Prince Fielder – 2-for-3, 6 RBIs as he hit the first grand slam of his career.  Big day for big men yesterday.

Shin-Soo Choo – 2-for-4, 2 steals and a homer.  9 homers and 11 steals on the year.  Get on the Shin-Soo Choo choo train!

Travis Hafner – HR yesterday.  Hey, maybe he got some HGH eyedrops too.

Mark DeRosa – HR yesterday.  Okay, pop quiz, hotshot.  Who has more homers V-Mart or DeRosa?  Hint, V-Mart has 11.

Torii Hunter – Left the game after colliding with the wall.  Last I heard, x-rays were being done.  Be crazy if they found some empty whiskey bottles.

John Lackey – 7 IP, 3 ER, 10 Ks.  He cruised through five and a third like he was a Monte Carlo.  But in the last one and two-thirds, he looked like he was a Yugo.  When Andres Torres, career minor leaguer, took him deep in the 7th, Lackey looked out of gas/exhausted (either work for the similes).

Ervin Santana – Will miss one start with a strained muscle in his forearm.  Good to hear it’s not his elbow.  Bad to hear it’s another part of his arm.

Sean Rodriguez – HR yesterday as he got the start.  Hopefully, Scioscia sits him for the next week, then calls back Kendrick. (It’s reverse psychology, just go with it!)

Brandon Morrow has changed his mind once again, deciding that his decision in the offseason to be a starter after relieving last year was a better idea than his decision in April to return to closing.  It’s already June and it’ll take him at least a month or so to stretch out his arm.  Could he put together a great 10 game stretch to finish the year?  Potentially, but maybe he’ll decide he wants to play shortstop instead.  We’re so tired of him changing his mind that we’re going to pretend like we’re monologue writers for The Tonight Show rather than debate his merits…. You know what Brandon Morrow likes for breakfast?  Waffles.  Why does Brandon Morrow like to play in public fountains?  They let him be both wishy and washy.  Why does Brandon Morrow love the words Aloha and Shalom?  Because he could use them to both start and close a conversation.   Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Carlos Quentin – Out until the All-Star Break with a torn tendon.  This news took a dump on my prediction that Quentin would come back strong in another week.  Story of my life.   I try to be optimistic and God farts in my general direction.  In fairness to me, everyone was claiming it was plantar something-or-itis and special shoes like young Forrest Gump wore would help him.  That wasn’t the case so I was dealing with inaccurate information.  A team lying to the media?  What else is new?

Jo-Jo Reyes – Hurt his hamstring covering first base.  Jose Reyes has a torn hamstring.  Anthony Reyes is out for the season with elbow surgery.  Watch out, Dennis Reyes!

Denard Span – Out for tests as he suffers from dizziness.  Votto, cover your mouth! Span might head to the Dizzabled List with Votto.

Francisco Liriano – 6 IP, 3 ER, 7 Ks.  You know that scene in When Harry Met Sally when Meg Ryan says, “I hate you, Harry.  I really hate you.”  Then they kiss.  That’s what a 6 IP, 3 ER, 7 Ks is.  It’s the kind of start that gives you hope for a better tomorrow, but you kinda know that he was facing the A’s and tomorrow’s start isn’t going to be so great.

Jorge Cantu – Stop me if you’ve heard this one before, Cantu out of the game with a dizzy spell.  Maybe the pregame drill of spinning in circles with your head on top of the bat isn’t such a good idea.

Jose Lopez – 3 homers in the last three days.  Okay, so it seems like it took until June for him to start producing.  I’d lose your unproductive MI, if J. Lo’s out there.

Carl Pavano – 4 2/3 IP, 9 ER.  He sucked you in!  Yes, he did!  Well, he kinda sucked me in too.  I mean, I would never pick him up, but I kinda thought there was a corner turned.

Gil Meche – 7 IP, 0 ER, 11 Ks.  Now has given up 3 runs in the last 20 innings.  I could’ve sworn I told everyone to get him about two or three weeks ago…. Let’s see…. Oh, here it is.

John Smoltz – Will make a start on Thursday for the Triple-A PawSawx, then could be ready as soon as next Tuesday vs. the Marlins.

Wandy Rodriguez – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 Ks.  The Wandwagon rides again!

Geovany Soto – HR yesterday.  I would sell him immediately if anyone’s buying.

John Danks – 7 1/3 IP, 2 ER.  Solid bounce back game after a couple of wonky ones.

Chien-Ming Wang – 2 2/3 IP, 4 ER.  If you can’t let go of Wang at this point, you might have some Freudian thing going on.

Jake Fox – After scorching AAA and fields of Iowa’s prized corn to the tune of .423/17 HR/50 RBIs, Jake Fox got sent back down in favor of Aaron Miles after a measly 12 ABs.  Why?  Because, supposedly, he can’t field.  Or in his words  “I’m short, fat and fighting against a little athleticism issues“.  If I lived in Chicago, I’d print shirts that said “Crazy Short, Fat, and Unathletic….Like a Fox!”  I’d also print “Milton Bradley – Unsafe for Ages 2+” (He’s fine with babies) and “I’ll Fight You Zambrano y Mano”.

Andrew McCutchen – He goes 0-for-5 the day we finally settle on a nickname –  The Dread Pirate.

Juan Pierre - Will be relegated to fourth outfielder status with the return of Manny in July.  Okay, who’s going to register FreeJuanPierre.com?

Clayton Kershaw – Managed to get through ony 2 2/3 innings at home against the Padres.  He was fortunate enough to only have 3 of the 9 baserunners score.  We predict that he has 3 more mixed years, then has 5 amazing years, retires with a sore elbow, and is idolized by a whole generation of Jewish boys.

Kevin Kouzmanoff – 2-for-4, 1 RBI.  I mentioned this two days ago and will probably mention it again in the Buy/Sell tomorrow, but Kouz is picking up baserunners as Gonzalez gets pitched around.

John Lackey – 5 IP, 8 ER.  At Tampa is a tough matchup (especially with The Zo).  I wouldn’t chuck him into a deal just to get rid of him after this start.  He gets the Giants next.  Now if he makes them look good, there might be a problem.

Cole Hamels – 5 IP, 11 hits, 1 K at Metco.  Just when you think he’s back to being a diamond, he gives you a lump of Cole.

Albert Pujols – The Cardinals put up 13 runs today and Pujols is 1-for-4 with 1 Run and no RBIs.  Now THAT’S a Ticker Tease.

Colby Rasmus - Kid Cardinal is now 14-for-31 in June with 5 doubles and 2 HRs.  If he’s swimming in your free agent pool, pick him up.  If that sounded homoerotic, wait to see how we genuflect when he starts stealing bases like the rest of the Cards (Pujols has 8 already?!)

Andrew Bailey – Brought in to a tie game in the top of the 9th and Kazaam!  1 IP and 3 ERs.  Way to lasso the moon, Bailey!  He’s not in danger of losing the closing job but don’t be afraid to move him as he’ll be hard-pressed to maintain his current 1996 Mariano Rivera-like 100 IP / 125 K pace.

Jay Bruce – HR yesterday.  I think he checks to see how many owners in Yahoo have him out their lineup.  When it’s under 40%, he hits a homer.  Just a theory.

Aaron Harang – 7 2/3 IP, 0 ER.  Dusty wanted him to win this game so bad, he used his closer on both sides of an hour and a half rain delay.  When pressed after the game, Dusty explained, “Of course I didn’t want to put Cordero back in but the rules prohibited me from putting Harang back in.” Someone needs to write the book, “Dummyball.”

The Contestants and Producers of MTV’s ‘Real World/Road Rules The Duel 2′ - Bravo on a fantastic season.  If we could figure out a fantasy league around your competition, we would.