In one article about Mike Stanton in The Miami Herald, a longtime season ticket holder, Fran, was asked if any player every matched Stanton’s sheer mollywhopping, pony sticking ability. The gist is no. Fran, at 85, had seen them all too. About Randy Johnson, Fran was quoted as saying, “Wild as any turkey ever got to be. He had that hair, and when he pitched and got sweaty, he had the nastiest head of hair you ever seen.” Now if I worked as a reporter for The Miami Herald, I’d make sure I had at least one quote from Fran in every article. If I could somehow find someone to match her quotey-ness, I’d say the quote was “frantastic.” If another reporter asked me to read their piece and they lacked a Fran quote, I’d say it’s not franny enough. Can we get a interview with Fran? Or should I just call up any retirement home in Miami-Dade County and interview anyone I get on the phone about the Marlins prospects? Mrs.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Derek Holland is not officially a rookie, but that doesn’t mean he might not roofie you. Pitching in and out of the rotation last year, he had some real ulcer-inducing starts. I know, I have the internal scars to prove it. Oh, Mylanta! Though his xFIP was better than his actual ERA. I know, too bad your league isn’t all fussy with an xFIP category. Holland’s a plus-plus strikeout guy. In the hitter-friendly PCL, he had a 37:7 K:BB rate and a 0.93 ERA. He’s homer-prone and in Arlington that is a recipe for turd nuggets. I’m much more aggressive about grabbing young hitters than young pitchers. Hitters give you an 0-for-34 and you punt. A pitcher gives you a 2 IP, 7 ER start and that causes you to punch a random stranger and then next thing you know some guy named Bubba is fitting you for a teardrop tattoo. See how quickly that spiral spun downward? Ask Lawrence Taylor, he’ll tell you. So I didn’t grab Holland anywhere, but I would in the right circumstances, as long as you monitor where you start him. His first two outings are set for the A’s and Angels. That’s a “Yes, please” and “Don’t mind if I do.” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Johnny Cueto – 9 IP, 1 hit shutout with 8 Ks as he dropped his ERA to 4.07 on the season. And there’s why I liked him so much in the preseason. If he’s out there in your league, own him, in the non-biblical sense.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Scott Olsen went 7 1/3 innings, giving up 1 ER and registering 8 Ks, while taking a no-hitter into the 8th inning. Olsen, “Hello, Corner, I think I’m going to turn you.” Corner, “Go for it.” Looks like Olsen has been able to use his changeup more effectively this year and rely less on the fastball. Olsen, “Fastball, you’re my woobie, I think I need to move on.” Fastball, “But where were they going without ever knowing the way?” Olsen, “Sorry, think I dialed the wrong Fastball.” I get worried about putting faith in Nationals pitchers not named, That Kid In Triple-A, but I could see taking a flier on Olsen in 12 team mixed leagues and deeper. At one time, Olsen wasn’t just some random Nats pitcher, he was a top Marlin prospect. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Lance Berkman – Fat Elvis says he’d leave the building if the Astros wanted him to. He’d agree to leave the Astros? That’s just crazy. Cray-zee.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Trevor Hoffman has been lights out all year. Maybe he jumped in the Cocoon pool. Octavio Dotel? The post office said they’re going to a five day week because of cutbacks and the amount of fan mail coming in for Dotel. Now hold the preceding up to a mirror. Dotel as a Pirate has done nothing except plunder his fantasy owners’ goodwill. Even Roger ain’t Jolly. The Hoff looks drunk. And Trevor too. The pickups for this duo of dud is Carlos Villanueva, Joel Hanrananananan, Brendan Donnelly, Evan Meek, Hawkins, Coffey, Shelley Duvall, the guy at Subway that kinda skeeves you out, the Polish Sausage in the 7th inning stretch race and Cher. Pick them up in that order. For full disclosure, I grabbed Hanaranananan because Villanueva was taken in all of my leagues. I didn’t go deeper than that. Some shituations just aren’t worth the ulcer. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Garrett Jones – 2-for-7, 1 RBI. After his first four at-bats yielded 4 Ks, Robot really turned it on. Fool him 5 times, shame on Robot.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Chicago White Sox 2009 Minor League Review
Overall farm rankings according to Baseball America (2009)
2009 (16) | 2008 (28) | 2007 (26) | 2006 (14) | 2005 (12) | 2004 (20)
Record of Major and Minor league teams
MLB: [86 – 77] AL Central
AAA: [67 – 76] International League
AA: [92 – 47] Southern League
A+: [73 – 65] Carolina League
A: [82 – 57] South Atlantic League
R: [42 – 34] Pioneer League
R: [27 – 39] Appalachian League
The Run Down
With one of the better rookies of 2009 in Gordon Beckham, and there is an argument that he should have won Rookie of the Year, the White Sox are still in desperate need to become younger.