The week that was showed us that Carlos Zambrano has issues, no big trades yet and LeBron is going to the Knicks. Or I wish anyways. It’s stealing all the headlines right now in the sports world, that and the underpants gnomes.
Please, blog, may I have some more?John Ely
Yesterday, Bob Feller told a story about how he once threw 117 MPH while urinating. He went on to talk about Triscuits and where he left his teeth. When he came back around to baseball, he said no one’s throwing a 1.15 ERA, even that guy with no hair. Once again, the old Feller has forgotten more than you could ever know. To paraphrase EPMD, last night Ubaldo Jimenez had his ERA tooken. He gave up 6 earned runs in 5 and two-thirds innings. It’s no crime to be hit by the Red Sox in Coors and you had to expect the ERA was going to come up at some point. All things considered, he K’d 7 and walked no one vs.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Alexei has a new comrade with Dayan Viciedo being called up by the White Sox. He’s the Latin 20, Cuban defector that has 240 pounds of baby fat, if, in fact, he is a baby. As I said back last November, “What I’d really like to see is a major leaguer go to Cuba to play. Kevin Youkilis grows out his beard another five inches, jumps in a raft and paddles to Havana. He tears up the Cuban Leagues on a steady diet of fastballs and plantains.” Wait, that quote had nothing to do with Dayan. Oh, here’s the quote, “In his first year of the minors at Double-A, he had a .317 OBP with 89 Ks to 23 walks. He can probably have success with this approach, because he do what he do. His line drive percentages went up in the 2nd half of the year, showing he was making better contact.” And that’s me quoting me! This year in Triple-A, he made progress. In 238 ABs, 30/14/34/.290/1. His Ks are still out of control with 52 in 62 games. Because of his position eligibility (3rd base, Serch), I grabbed him in a few leagues. I’d expect decent power (15 homers) and a mediocre average (.250) with little to no speed. On rookie 3rd basemen pickups, he’s below Pedro Alvarez for right now. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Mark Buehrle – 7 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks vs.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Jose Tabata, the Latin 21, one-time lauded Yankee prospect, was initially heralded as a power corner-OF but wrist issues have seem to have inspired Tabata to become the next Nyjer Morgan. He’ll likely have a harder time outrunning MLB catcher throws than those in AAA. And, much like his doughelganger ciabatta, the rest of his stats may be tough to swallow. (BTW, does he realize that the B in SB stands for base, not baby? Similar misconception for Kris Benson when he found out that SO stands for strikeouts and not slutty outfits.) Tabata went 2-for-4 with a steal, leaving with a leg cramp. He’ll be fine. I’d grab him in all but the shallowest leagues for steals. You could get some power. What’s the worst that happens? He goes 0-for-35 and steals your baby? Big whoop! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Brad Lincoln – 6 IP, 5 ER, 9 baserunners, 3 Ks. The Nats were treated to another major league debut… Jose Tabata. Oh, and Lincoln. I just went over Brad Lincoln for fantasy. After watching him, he didn’t change my mind about only grabbing him in NL-Only leagues.
Please, blog, may I have some more?You know how cutters cut themselves to take their mind off some pain in their life? (RIP, Frankie from The Real World… San Diego!) Well, I have an idea that major league teams can employ. They should hire absolutely terrible ex-major leaguers to make slumping hitters feel better about themselves. “Pena, you’re in a real bad slump, but imagine how I felt when I hit .195 for the better part of the 1990′s?” Wait, they already do this. They’re called major league managers. So, Carlos Pena is capable of 10+ homer months and 40 homers on the year. His average isn’t going to be good. He’s not a .170-something hitter though. Even if he hits only .210 this year. That’s a forty-something point increase from where he is. Right now, fantasy baseballers (<–my Mom’s term) aren’t just trading Pena on the low, they’re flat out dropping him. So you don’t have to buy him for a lot, you barely have to buy him for anything. You could throw a Pena owner a bag of empty pistachio shells that you already licked and they’d probably be happy to get Pena off their team. In fact, I just saw a guy walk through heavy traffic wearing a Carlos Pena jersey. Hmm… Maybe that was Carlos Pena. Come back, Pena, you’ll be better! (Note: I wrote this before I was told that Pena was a Buy Low guy at ESPN. Though I still haven’t read what they said, it makes sense when a 40 homer guy is struggling. Note from Hater Bell: Hey, Grey, you and Karabell should get a room and have sex.) Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
BUY
John Axford – Hoffman will either suddenly hang ‘em up and retire or he’ll be the closer again by the end of the month. At least that’s what my Magic Eight Ball that I purchased at Spencer’s Gifts says. In the meantime, grab Axford. He could get sloppy with his walks at some point, but he’s getting saves now. And, yes, I am an Axfordian scholar.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Dontrelle Willis, the flat-billed pitchypus in question, was traded to the Diamondbacks for a half-used #2 pencil and a race car-shaped eraser. When a team trades a guy and still has to pay the majority of his salary, it’s usually not a good sign. I have maintained in the past that maybe the only thing eating at Dontrelle was the Tigers taking away the best aspect of his game –> his hitting. It’s still not a reason to pick him up. It’s not like the Diamondbacks stadium is a pitchers’ haven. Let someone else take the flat-billed pitchypus under their wing and nurture it back to health. Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Mark Teixeira – Day-to-day after he left the game with a bruised foot, which is far less tasty than a braised foot.
Please, blog, may I have some more?The Strasburg watch has gone into DEFCON 3. Every expert who calls themselves one, knows the date he is coming up and who he will face and how he will throw exactly 85 pitches with 75 of them being fastballs. Enough already, all this speculation is annoying.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Scott Rolen went 2-for-4 as he hit his 3rd homer in the last week. Now has 11 homers and 30 RBIs. I’d say he’s in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell, but he’s not. He almost was then I thought about what I would write about him. I didn’t want to write about how I wasn’t sure what to write about him. I figured that was pointless. Wait… Oh. Soooo, Rolen will hit 25 homers this year with a decent average and RBIs or he’ll get hurt and play only 100 games. I’m thinking the latter happens, but I’d own him if I needed power for a chance at the former. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Johnny Cueto – 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 9 Ks.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Saul Rivera, who is surprisingly not related to Eli Whiteside, was acquired by the Diamondbacks. Big shakes, huh? Yeah, Rivera could get into the mix for saves. Another potential candidate for saves is… Wait for it… Here it comes… It’s here somewhere… Where are my notes… Oh, here they are… That’s my freakin’ shopping list, and I didn’t even spell minestrone right… Oh, here… Aaron Heilman! Not sure how the D-Backs are going to have a bullpen of Saul and Heilman. Sounds like the outtakes for Schlinder’s List. Saul walks 3 batters and turns the game over to Heilman. Heilman enters and says, “I pardon you, Saul.” Heilman will probably get exploited for being, well, not so good and having small fingers, but Qualls is close to getting removed from the closer role. Right now, Heilman’s the setup man and he gave up a run yesterday. The Diamondbacks also dropped Bob Howry. Why? Because. Oh, and there’s Juan Gutierrez. That’s not a closerousel, THIS IS A CLOSEROUSEL! I’d own Qualls and Heilman. Gutierrez and I, we’re like Kramer vs.
Please, blog, may I have some more?We have reached the quarter pole of the fantasy season. We had our first manager ousting this week in K.C. The two biggest disappointments, team-wise have to be Seattle and Arizona. As we come up to week 7, it is the first week of interleague play, and the first week where all 30 teams play 7 games.
Please, blog, may I have some more?