Like Tobias from Arrested Development, the Miami Marlins will forever be known for their offseason fire sale. OH, THE BURNING! Giancarlo Stanton seems to be the last man standing in South Beach. However, rebuilding can often mean opportunities for young talent to shine. This will be the case for catcher Rob Brantly. Brantly, 23, will have the chance to be the every-day catcher (sorry, Jeff Mathis) for Miami in 2013.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I went into TurboTax and entered the Marlins $100 million payroll going into last season, subtracted Jose Reyes, Hanley, Josh Johnson, Buehrle, Bonifacio, Buck, Infante, Gaby, Anibal, Heath Bell and Ozzie Guillen’s salary, then I added in Gorkys, Ruggiano, Giancarlo, Wade LeBlanc, Eovaldi, Jacob Turner, Adeiny Hechavarria and Yunel’s salary and it says the Marlins can get an EBT card for their cash assistance benefits.Please, blog, may I have some more?
In 2010, the Diamondbacks traded Dan Haren to the Angels for Joe Saunders (and Patrick Corbin and Tyler Skaggs). Turned out in that parenthetical lied the rub. At the time of the trade, ESPN Fantasy said, “…this looks like highway robbery for the Angels, and a salary dump for the Diamondbacks.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey and Rudy are letting me run a team for Razzball, and I’m totally pumped about it. See, this is my first venture into the realm of expert leagues or writer’s leagues or whatever the hell you wanna call them and the pressure on a rookie like me is enormous. Grey told me I can only cover White Sox prospects if I don’t finish in the top eight. I feel like Andrew Luck or something… probably bigger than that, actually. Anyway. The auction happened a couple Thursdays ago and my strategy was simple: don’t look stupid. I’m not quite sure if I’ve succeeded in that regard. You tell me. Click here to see the complete auction results.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jason Heyward sat again yesterday in favor of Jose Constanza. I don’t want to shout fire in the theater of Razzball, but this isn’t good. Constanza is making Heyward look like the best seller at the jerk store. Actually, Heyward was kinda doing it to himself.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Some rejected titles for this post were, “Adam’s Appendix Is Dunn,” “Dunn’s Appendix Chooses Worst Of Three Outcomes,” and “Dunn Develops Killer App.” First Holliday, now Adam Dunn with a busted appendix. I heard if the doctor gets cold during the surgery, he’s going to snuggle inside Dunn like Luke did with his tauntaun. Big Donkey only needs 5 days to heal because he already had an axe scar in that area they could re-use. The turnaround time is so quick now on these surgeries that you have to wonder why it took the Twins so many years to remove their appendix (Nick Punto). Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Carlos Quentin – 4-for-6, 3 RBIs, 2 Runs and his 2nd homer. He’s now hitting .500 on the year. If he can stay healthy, he can have a huge year. Though that if is the size of Dunn’s appendix.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Went over the top 20 for 2011 fantasy baseball and top 10 for 2011 fantasy baseball. Now, friends, it’s time for the top 20 catchers for 2011 fantasy baseball. The top 20 catchers are the glass of warm milk right before you go to sleep. Hey, I just drafted Jorge Posada! Snooze. I love Kurt Suzuki this year! Yawn. I don’t draft top catchers in one catcher leagues. Because I ignore the top catchers doesn’t mean I’m starting the top 20 catcher list at number twenty-one (Chris Snyder? Belch.); some of you might want to know the top catchers. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them draft Napoli. In two catcher leagues, catchers are a little more valuable, but I’d still prefer to avoid them. You can see other top 20 lists for 2011 fantasy baseball under 2011 Fantasy Baseball Rankings. Listed along with these catchers are my 2011 projections for each player and where the tiers begin and end. Anyway, here’s the top 20 catchers for 2011 fantasy baseball:
1.Please, blog, may I have some more?
After realizing the 20% off Bed, Bath & Beyond coupon wasn’t redeemable for slugging 2nd basemen, the Marlins parted ways with Dan Uggla. Now the Marlins have cut loose all the major objectors to Hanley Ramirez’s lack of hustle. “Yo, I walk with a pimp limp so I can save my energy for when MTV Cribs visits my house.” <– Not actual Hanley quote. With the slashed payroll, Jeffrey Loria can get that seventeenth mansion he’s been eyeing. Good time to be a Marlins fan! Uggla is really one of those players whose value doesn’t change much with a trade. 30 homers — check! Not a great average without some luck — check! Owns douchey Ed Hardy clothing — check! If anything, Uggla moving to Atlanta will only help his value. He was better away from Whoever Will Pay The Most Money To Sponsor This Godforsaken Stadium down in Miami. Last year, he hit .308 in away games and .264 in home games. Also, he hit 19 of his 33 homers away from home. Plus, he will be hitting in a better lineup. For 2011, I see Uggla giving you a line of 90/32/100/.265/5. Anyway, let’s see what other moves happened recently with fantasy baseball repercussions:
Omar Infante – Heads to the Marlins where he’s sure to be revered by the smartest fans in baseball. (That’s why there’s only 20-something fans at each game. They’re smart to stay home.) Infante had a career year in 2010. I don’t see him repeating it in Whoever Will Pay The Most Money To Sponsor This Godforsaken Stadium. He’ll probably play 2nd base or 3rd base and be on and off your waivers all year. If you’re drafting Infante, you ain’t no friend of mine.Please, blog, may I have some more?
It feels like yesterday the baseball regular season started. You wrote “I heart baseball” in permanent marker on your arm, then you met a girl who wrote “I heart guys who heart baseball” on her arm, then, during sex in September, you screamed out “I love you, Tulo!” and now you don’t have baseball or your girlfriend. C’mon, calender, make like a soldier and turn to March. The only cure for the post-baseball season blues — recapping the preseason top twenty lists and being hand-fed Doritos. First up, Cool Ranch and our preseason Top 20 Catchers for 2010.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I told you two days ago to own Justin Smoak in his series in Texas. Three straight games, three homers. To paraphrase Young MC from We’re All In The Same Gang, “I try my best to set an example, talkin’ up hyped players over hip-hop samples.” (BTW, the M’s lost yesterday when the catcher went to complete a strikeout by throwing the ball to first for the final out in the ninth but the ball sailed into right field and allowed the runner on first to score. Ha-HA!) Now the question is should you own Smoak the rest of the year… Sure, but that’s not the question. Tricked you! The question is about next year. He hasn’t reached his potential yet, but he is only 23-years-old. Some have compared him to Te(i)x. He definitely slumped for half a season like him. I think those ‘some’ were using that as a compliment though. Next year, Smoak should have the starting job out of spring training and could provide 25 homers with a decent average. In AL-Only keeper leagues and dynasty leagues, I’d make sure Smoak’s owned. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Chone Figgins – 4-for-4 as Chode tries to make his season numbers seem a whole lot better than they were. Never trust a guy that spells Sean ‘Chone.’
David Murphy – Out with a strained groin. Sounds like an injury that would sideline a porn actress.Please, blog, may I have some more?