Fantasy Baseball Advice

Jason Heyward sat again yesterday in favor of Jose Constanza.  I don’t want to shout fire in the theater of Razzball, but this isn’t good.  Constanza is making Heyward look like the best seller at the jerk store.  Actually, Heyward was kinda doing it to himself.  This year he has 12 homers and a .222 average.  Laynce Nix called and said he’s doing better.  I think Heyward’s still dealing with shoulder issues and “You got on the wrong side of Glass Chipper” issues.  Heyward can still be a star as soon as next year, but, for this year in redraft leagues, you need to start thinking like Big Boi and back up the back up plans.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Huston Street – Street’s closed, Rockies used alternative route to save the game with Rafael Betancourt.  Street’s soreness isn’t said to be serious enough for a DL stint, but Street’s been known to laugh in the face of ‘not serious enough for a DL stint.’  Since Lindstrom is out too, I’d grab Betancourt for potential vulturing.  If you need a dinette set, go with Rex Brothers.

Angel Pagan – Now has back-to-back games with a homer as he hits leadoff in Reyes’s stead.  Dan Brown’s newest book, Angel & Pagans, tracking Mr. Met to the Vatican may start to gain some believers.

Kyle Blanks – 2-for-4 yesterday and has two hits in each of the last five games, including two homers.  That all coincides with the Padres being on the road.  Hey, Ray Kroc Jr. Jr., when a 375 lbs. power hitter is intimidated by your home park, it’s time to move in the fences.

Jesus Guzman – 2-for-4 as Jesus continues to do everything but walk on water.  Though it’s only Wednesday.

Orlando Hudson – Left the game with a strained left groin.  Hehe, he has two groins.

J.D. Martinez – Hit his 4th homer in his last six games.  Legally I’m required to tell you I don’t think he’ll keep it up, but now it’s time to give J.D. his trial run.

Adam Dunn – Says he will alter his offseason training for next year.  This obviously means he’ll limit his axe swinging, so rejoice tree huggers!

Justin Morneau – Should return next Monday, which will forever be known as Mornday.

Carlos Beltran – Out a few days with a sprained wrist.  If he had a strained groin with his sprained wrist, I wouldn’t shake his hand.

Madison Bumgarner – 7 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 10 Ks, moving his record to 7-11.  Oh, thank heaven!

Dee Gordon – Left yesterday’s game with a sore right shoulder.  Here’s hoping his middle initial isn’t L.

Justin Smoak – Out with a jammed thumb.  He’s hitting .179 since the All-Star break.  Smoak’s cooking with liquid nitrogen!

Michael Pineda – 6 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks as he faced Alexi Ogando (2 2/3 IP, 6 ER, 10 baserunners) which was billed by ESPN as The Battle of the Tiring Young Pitcher.  Mark Prior threw out the first pitch.  Well, he rolled the ball to the plate and then shrugged.

Endy Chavez – Hit his 5th homer yesterday or the same amount as Aaron Hill, who has turned my middle infield spot into a Dead Endy.

James Shields – 9 IP, 0 ER, 9 baserunners, 8 Ks.  Since his Oakland A’s start of 4 IP, 10 ER, he seems to have eaten a few power-up pellets and regained his Shields power.

Desmond Jennings – 1-for-3 with his 8th steal.  That’s in 17 games.  Conservatively, I’ll say he’s stealing two hundred next year.

Tsuyoshi Nishioka - 1-for-3, hitting .216.  He looks like Kaz Matsui 2.0.

Francisco Liriano – 6 IP, 3 ER, 11 baserunners (7 BBs), 4 Ks.  For those who can’t pick up on the context clues, 7 walks in 6 innings is not good.  Some would say it’s bad.  Johnny Cochran would’ve said it’s egregious.

Hanley Ramirez- Has been out since August 2nd as he nurses his shoulder.  He has a nipple on his shoulder?! Five dollars of imaginary money says Hanley will be DL’d in the next day or so.  As Jack McKeon said, “He wants to play, but if it bothers him and he can’t reach for the ball, what good is it?  Can I leave now?  You’re making me miss the early bird.”

John Buck – Has two straight games with a homer.  Or to misquote M.I.A., Bucky Gone Gone.

Brandon Beachy – 6 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 10 Ks.  Constantly amazed at how many people started asking if they should drop Beachy after his bad game in Coors and haven’t stopped asking.  He’s been that bad?  Not rhetorical!

Dan Uggla – His hitting streak is up to 30 games.  In other news, water is dry.

Zack Cozart – Sounds like he’s headed for season-ending surgery.  Dr. James Andrews, “Not ’til I say so.  Muahahahahaha…”

Dontrelle Willis – 8 IP, 3 ER, 6 baserunners, 10 Ks.  Well, hello there!  Wow.  Where you been hidin’, Willis?  I wouldn’t add him in all leagues, but in some deeper ones or where you need to gamble, I’d look at him.

Esmil Rogers – 6 IP, 2 ER, 10 baserunners, 6 Ks and his third decent start in a row. Rogers works with a mid-90′s fastball, slider, changeup– Wait, who am, Stephen?  Rogers should have a mid to high 7 K-rate and be in the rotation for the rest of the season as long as he doesn’t Mr. Bungle things.  Esmil, “Holy chicken mole, this is enormous pressure!”  In deep mixed leagues and NL-Only leagues, I’d grab Rogers to see if you can ride the lightning in a bottle or whatever that cliche is.

Josh Willingham – Hit his 2nd homer in as many games.  Willingham, that’s just not kosher.  Hasn’t cooled off since I labeled him a Buy on Friday.

Rich Harden – 7 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 8 Ks.  Has more Ks than innings and finally looked impressive, like the old Harden.  Well, actually, the old Harden would’ve thrown out his back after a teammate high-fived him.

Bobby Abreu – 2-for-5 with two homers.  Abreu has been a good August hitter in the past, but his past goes back.  For instance, you might hear him say things like, “I remember when baseball’s weren’t hit with bats but with steroids.”

Eduardo Nunez – 2-for-3 with his 17th and 18th steals to go along with his 4 homers.  A-Rod has 13 homers and 4 steals.  So Nunez is definitely no flop, but A-Rod’s hole cards of 52 RBIs and 53 runs are obviously better.

Chien-Ming Wang – 6 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners (1 Hit), 1 K.  He’s trying to get you to fall for the old-banana-in-the-tailpipe.  Don’t do it.

Corey Hart – Returned to the lineup (hand) and picked up right where he left off (homer) and hopes to continue (wearing sunglasses at night).

Kyle Gibson – Partial tear of his right elbow.  All those years his dad made him emulate his World Series trot couldn’t have helped.

Some rejected titles for this post were, “Adam’s Appendix Is Dunn,” “Dunn’s Appendix Chooses Worst Of Three Outcomes,” and “Dunn Develops Killer App.”  First Holliday, now Adam Dunn with a busted appendix.  I heard if the doctor gets cold during the surgery, he’s going to snuggle inside Dunn like Luke did with his tauntaun.  Big Donkey only needs 5 days to heal because he already had an axe scar in that area they could re-use.  The turnaround time is so quick now on these surgeries that you have to wonder why it took the Twins so many years to remove their appendix (Nick Punto).  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Carlos Quentin – 4-for-6, 3 RBIs, 2 Runs and his 2nd homer.  He’s now hitting .500 on the year.  If he can stay healthy, he can have a huge year.  Though that if is the size of Dunn’s appendix.

Juan Pierre – 3-for-6 and his 2nd steal as he was asked to fill-in Dunn’s shoes at DH.  Lucky he didn’t have to wear his pants.

Michael Bourn – Left with tightness in his groin.  Is he now dating Rihanna?

Ubaldo Jimenez – Looks like the pickle juice or whatever medieval cure he was prescribed didn’t work and Ubaldo is headed to the DL until the 17th.  Since he only has a cut on his cuticle, he should be back when scheduled.  If you felt he should’ve been the lead of this post, “Ubaldo’s Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow” is your title.  Maybe instead of pickle juice, he should’ve visited a *pinkie to mouth*  manicurist.

Chad Billingsley – 3 IP, 5 ER, 9 baserunners, 3 Ks.  Now has a 7+ ERA in Colorado over his career.  If you ever see Bills talking to your girl at a bar, order him a Coors and watch him fall apart.

Andrew Cashner – As reported here first after reading it somewhere else, Cashner is going to the DL with a rotator cuff strain.  Tough break strain since he looked good on Tuesday and I was ready to get on board.

Randy Wells – To the DL with a forearm strain.  That’s not good.  Guessing he’ll be out for all of April.  All these injuries made me think of the Cage The Elephant‘s Shake Me Down, “Not a lot of people left around…”  Mmm-mmm… That’s me humming the words I don’t know.  I love that song.

Alfonso Soriano – 1-for-4 with his 3rd homer.  This is also the third time he’s shown up in five roundups.  If you’re gonna own him, right now is the time.

Ryan Dempster – 7 IP, 4 ER, 10 baserunners, 6 Ks.  It took me a few years to fully trust Dempster after he moved to starting.  Now that I trust him, he’s going to employ his parachute as he watches me crash to the ground.

Brad Lidge – Charlie Manuel said Lidge should be back around the All-Star break.  His exact words were, “Lidge an ornery spitfire who wants to go piking by July.  Now where in my overalls did I put that straw I like to chew on.”

Jarrod Saltalamacchia – Word is the Sawx are giving Salty until June to hit.  They’re obviously more patient than me, I’m giving him until next week.

Willie Bloomquist – 2-for-5 and his 5th steal.  Emilio Bonifacio called, he wants his crazy fast April start back.  Potatoes to chips, if Bloomquist was doing this in the middle of the season, you wouldn’t even know about it, unless you were Willie Bloomquist Jr. and your dad forced you to watch all his at-bats.

Stephen Drew – Plans to return to the starting lineup on Friday.  My anticipation level for Drew’s return is above my next visit to the dentist but way below when Dustin reveals on The Real World to his roomie/girlfriend that he used to do gay porn.

Yunel Escobar – 3-for-3 when he had to be lifted because of dizziness.  He was waving air into his face and jumping up down and I thought Travis Snider farted in his direction, but I think it happened on Yunel’s headfirst slide.  Not sure, I’m not a doctor.

Austin Jackson – 0-for-5.  I’ve been saying he’s not that good since last year and it looks like he’s finally coming around to my way of thinking.

Ryan Raburn – 1-for-2 as he snuck onto the field in Boesch’s jersey.  Geez, what did Raburn do?  Complain about Leyland smoking in the dugout?

Alex Avila – 3-for-4, 5 RBIs with the very rare slam & legs from a catcher.  Despite having such a good night, Miguel Cabrera is hesitant to hang out with Alex Avila because of his initials.

Armando Galarraga – 7 IP, 4 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks.  Eh, I’d give him a stiff-Armando off my team.

Joakim Soria – 1 IP, 4 ER.  In the offseason, he abandoned his nickname, The Mexicutioner.  He didn’t mention he was adopting the nickname, The Mexican’t.

Jeff Francis – 6 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 4 Ks.  I’d wait to see 30 more starts from him before picking him up.

Alex Gordon – 2-for-5, 1 RBI including his 5th double.  Yes, you should pick him up.

Carl Crawford – 2 Hits, 2 steals and 2 for flinching when Francona threatened to bat him 7th again.

Daisuke Matsuzaka – 5 IP, 3 ER, 9 baserunners, 2 Ks.  If you’re new to the site, I don’t think Dice-BB should be owned in any league that, ya know, wanna win.

Kevin Correia – 7 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks.  Now is 2-0 with a 1.38 ERA on the year.  Of course, he’s pitched better than most of the pitchers on my fantasy teams.   Why do you hurt me so much small sample sizes?  That’s what she said!  (Not really.)

Neil Walker – 2-for-5 with his 2nd homer.  Then there’s the other side of the small sample size coin.  You wanna believe so bad early hitting stars will hit .400 and homers every other day, but you know it won’t last.  Or at least you should know, unless you suffer from delusional fantasies.

Alberto Callaspo – 2-for-4, 2nd homer and hitting .450 on the year.  I’m the first to think he’s Callaspoo, but he’s hitting, so, yeah, grab him for your MI spot.

Mark Trumbo – 3-for-4, hitting .286 so far.  He’s played in 5 of 6 games, but hasn’t hit for power yet.  But II, The Return of But, he could start hitting for power.

Erick Aybar – Strained oblique.  In your face, intercostal!

Tim Stauffer – 4 2/3 IP, 4 ER, 10 baserunners, 1 K.  Hodgepadre:  Start in Petco, don’t get them wet and don’t, under any circumstances, feed them after midnight.  So who feed Stauffer after midnight?

Nick Hundley – 1-for-3, HR.  Not sure how much you need a catcher, but Hundley’s the Padres best hitter right now.  I know how sad that sounds.

Ryan Howard – 4-for-4, 2 RBIs, 2 Runs and his 2nd homer.  He’s now batting .524.  Yeah, he looks done.  Glad some ‘perts were ranking him in the 4th round.

Jose Contreras – Got his first save and received a 35% off discount at the movies.

Mike Pelfrey – 2 IP, 6 ER, 9 baserunners, 1 K as he couldn’t keep the bats off the Pelfrey.  I wouldn’t own Pelfrey with your team.

Tim Lincecum – 7 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, 13 Ks.  He made the Padres hitters look even worse than they normally do!

Brian Wilson – 2/3 IP, 3 ER.  Returned and looked like he shouldn’t have.  Hopefully it’s just him brushing the cobwebs off the gimp outfit.

Edinson Volquez – 5 IP, 4 ER, 10 baserunners, 8 Ks and the conshellation prize.  Frequent commenter, Eddy, brought up an interesting stat, Volquez’s first inning ERA is 31.50, the rest of the way (8 IP) 2.25 ERA.

Ian Desmond – 4-for-5, 2 RBIs as he may have just cemented himself back in the leadoff spot.  This is why you don’t overrate 5 games of play.  Or a week.  Or a month.

John Buck – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and a triple.  I’m guessing here but I feel like Buck gets more triples than any other catcher.  That Buck is a hustler!

Mike Minor – 4 1/3 IP, 5 ER.  Getting roofied by Minor and I feel like how Jeffrey Jones looks.  Oh, well.  He was probably only up for one start.  I’d lose him for now.

Jeremy Hellickson – 5 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 10 Ks.  I try and stay away from AL rookie pitchers, but let’s remember some stuff I said in the preseason… You know, six days ago.  I said Hellickson would win the ROY and I dropped this Hellickson fantasy on ya.

Manny Ramirez – Maddon sat Manny because he was pressing.  Surprised no clouds formed when Manny’s warm air pockets of pressing met with his cool air pockets of indifference.

Went over the top 20 for 2011 fantasy baseball and top 10 for 2011 fantasy baseball.  Now, friends, it’s time for the top 20 catchers for 2011 fantasy baseball.  The top 20 catchers are the glass of warm milk right before you go to sleep.  Hey, I just drafted Jorge Posada!  Snooze.  I love Kurt Suzuki this year!  Yawn.  I don’t draft top catchers in one catcher leagues.  Because I ignore the top catchers doesn’t mean I’m starting the top 20 catcher list at number twenty-one (Chris Snyder?  Belch.); some of you might want to know the top catchers.  You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them draft Napoli.  In two catcher leagues, catchers are a little more valuable, but I’d still prefer to avoid them.  You can see other top 20 lists for 2011 fantasy baseball under 2011 Fantasy Baseball Rankings.  Listed along with these catchers are my 2011 projections for each player and where the tiers begin and end.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 catchers for 2011 fantasy baseball:

1. Brian McCann – This is the first tier.  This tier goes from here until Posey.  This tier is called, “I’ll draft any of these guys if they’re still on the board four to six rounds after their Average Draft Position.”  I ended up putting McCann above Mauer in these rankings for a simple reason.  I want 20+ home runs way more than I want a .320+ average.  If McCann gets his stupid eyes figured out and hits like he should for a 27-year-old, this will be his season.  I know Posey is way more exciting than McCann, but unless you’re dating Posey’s sister, exciting isn’t going to get you laid in fantasy baseball.  2011 Projections:  80/25/95/.280/3

2. Joe Mauer – It’s amazing to me how fickle fantasy baseball ‘perts are.  Read recently a ‘pert talking about how Mauer will never hit 20 home runs again.  These are, of course, the same people that swore his 28 homers in 2009 was the real deal.  Can’t anyone separate what someone did the previous year compared to what they will do.  I don’t think he will hit 28 home runs either, but I didn’t think he’d do it 2010 and thought it was fluky as shizz in 2009 when he actually did it.  Search the site if you’re new to Razzball.  It’s all there.  Mauer is a 14-17 home run hitter with a great average.  If he gets lucky, he hits 20 homers.  If he’s unlucky, he hits 9 homers like last year.  It’s not brain surgery.  And it is a’ight, but I won’t own him because of where he’s drafted.  2011 Projections:  90/15/90/.325/3

3. Victor Martinez – I already went over my Victor Martinez fantasy when I took a scalpel to his Tigers signing.  If you click that link, it’ll transport you to a whole new post.  It’s magic!  2011 Projections:  70/18/85/.300

4. Buster Posey – I suppose he could be the best catcher for 2011, but what about Mike Napoli?  I mean, Mike Napoli’s mom is showing you nips and you still got no love for him?  You don’t like MILF nips?  You a prude?  Are you one of our three girl readers?  If so, then maybe I should stop now before we end up with no girl readers.  I don’t dislike Posey.  All I’m saying is Wieters looked like a surefire bet going into 2010 too.  For where you have to draft Posey, I’m not going near him.  2011 Projections:  75/18/80/.310

5. Mike Napoli – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Posada.  I call this tier, “I’ll try to grab a catcher from this tier and if it doesn’t happen then c’est la vie.”  Honestly, you probably don’t have to draft Napoli because whoever drafts him will probably drop him by mid-April.  No one wants to own Napoli.  You’re all a bunch of Sciosciapaths!  He hits 20+ home runs and steals a few bases.  That’s all you need from a catcher.  Stop trying to turn your catcher slot to eleven.  Oh, and his move to the Rangers ups his power a bit, but he’s not suddenly going to hit for .300.  2011 Projections:  65/24/75/.255/5

6. Matt Wieters – Now that Wieters’ draft position has come down to earth, I don’t mind him at all.  Could easily be the top catcher for fantasy in 2011.  That ain’t idle chatter.  He’s just needs to emerge from his nasty sophomore slump and do what he’s capable of.   He was unlucky last year and his walk rate went up while his K-rate went down.  They’re all good signs.  Here’s to him getting back on the map.  (And because no Oriole mention is complete without a Wire mention, I was pulled over the other day for talking on my phone while driving.  I know, Oprah would’ve been so disappointed.  I’m also the jackhole who usually yells at other drivers, “Hands free!” but I just got a phone call at the wrong time.  Anyway, the cop walks up to my window and I read his name tag and immediately yelled out his name, “McNulty!”  He’s like, “Do I know you?”  “No, but I watch The Wire.”  He sighs like he’s heard it a thousand times before and gives me a ticket.  Woo-hoo, I got a ticket from McNulty!)  2011 Projections:  60/18/85/.280

7. Geovany Soto – In 105 games last year, he hit 17 home runs.  Yes, he too can be the number one catcher in 2011 fantasy baseball.  Now that Piniella and his infatuation with Koyie Ugly is out of town, Soto should see all the ABs he can handle.  Tough break for The Koyie Hill Fan Club, which affectionately calls itself The Koy Pond.  2011 Projections:  60/18/75/.270

8. Miguel Montero – Unlike Napoli, Wieters or Soto, Montero doesn’t have the big power upside.  With my projected 15 home runs I’ve given him, I’m probably just about touching his ceiling.  He’ll probably get tiresome at some point in the season making you want to drop him for a hot-as-of-right-now waiver wire catcher.  If you do Ron Popeil him, he should be able to give you a solid, if unremarkable catcher season.  2011 Projections:  55/15/70/.275

9. Jorge Posada – After about ten years of ignoring Posada, I think his value has finally caught up with his draft position.  I’d like to say his BABIP was low last year, but his skills are declining.  He might not hit over .260 again without some luck.  Also, like a preacher, he has Jesus breathing down his neck.  Still, the ballpark, the lineup around him and the fact he’ll see DH ABs, makes him attractive.  2011 Projections:  50/17/70/.255

10. Carlos Santana – This is a new tier.  This tier is just Carlos Santana.  This tier I call, “I’m not owning Carlos Santana unless he falls very far in my drafts.”  Bill James has Carlos Santana down for 22 homers.  Bill James is smoking crack cocaine.  Carlos Santana might be great in 2011, but I need the ulcer to see if he’s healthy?  I have enough stress in my life.  I’m letting Carlos Santana prove his mettle on someone else’s team.  What, I’m gonna miss out on a 15-homer, .280 season from a catcher?  Big whoop, friend.  Big effin’ whoop.  2011 Projections:  55/15/65/.280

11. Kurt Suzuki – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Carlos Ruiz.  I call this tier, “I’m only listing them so you know I don’t want them on any teams.”  I stared at the screen for three minutes trying to think of something positive to say about Suzuki.  What you ended up with was me confessing to you that I had nothing positive to say about him.  That about sums it up.  2011 Projections:  60/14/70/.260/3

12. Yadier Molina – Oh.  My.  God.  Get me the hell out of this tier.  For reals.  2011 Projections:  40/7/55/.270/7

13. A.J. Pierzynski – Not only is he a terrible pick but his last name is impossible for me to spell.  Just let Tyler Flowers flourish or flounder, for suck fake. (Say that fast 117 times.)  2011 Projections:  50/12/55/.275

14. Carlos Ruiz – Carlos Ruiz makes Kurt Suzuki seem like an upside pick.  2011 Projections:  35/10/55/.265

15. Chris Iannetta – This is a new tier.  This tier goes until the end of the post.  I call this tier, “It’s late in the game and I’m taking some upside.”  You might look at the tier names and think to yourself, why doesn’t he just move Iannetta above Suzuki if he’s ignoring Kurt?  I guess I could, but I’m not taking Iannetta or any of these late names until the guys above them are already drafted.  So by listing Iannetta here you know who has to come off the board before you draft one of these late round fliers.  If you were to draft Iannetta before, say, Ruiz is off the board, I wouldn’t be mad at you, but you might be reaching.  As for Iannetta, “Meh, at least he’s got some upside.”  2011 Projections:  40/15/60/.245

16. Russell Martin – I don’t like Martin then he went to the Yankees and I was slightly more interested.  Put a big flashing sign on “slightly” to emphasize it.  In the absolute last round of a draft, I’d consider him.  There, I said it.  Are you happy you’ve embarrassed me?  2011 Projections:  70/10/60/.270/10

17. J.P. Arencibia – First, let’s see what I said when he was first called up, “In Triple-A, Arencibia hit 32 homers in 412 ABs.  That’s-a one spicy prospect!  To go all Latin America on you, there’s a caveat.  That was in the PCL, which is like playing on the moon with an aluminum bat.  He’s not quite the prospect of Wieters, Posey or Carlos Santana, pre-Kalish yelling at him, ‘Eat everything off your plate!’”  And that’s me quoting me!  Arencibia might not be a huge impact guy in 2011, but he can be.  At catcher, I like to gamble.  2011 Projections:  40/15/55/.240

18. Ryan Doumit – He never stays healthy but in some ways that doesn’t matter for a catcher.  Since everyone only owns one of them, there’s plenty of catchers on waivers for Doumit’s thrice-annual trip to the DL.  2011 Projections:  35/15/55/.250

19. John Jaso – I look at Jaso’s number and I see a poor man’s Russell Martin.  That’s not a compliment.  But Jaso is a bit more of an unknown so maybe there’s some more upside there.  That’s barely a compliment.  2011 Projections:  60/6/45/.270/6

20. Miguel Olivo – It’s kinda sad when the upside tier has Doumit, Olivo and Russell Martin.  Catchers suck.  2011 Projections:  45/15/55/.235/7

After the top 20 catchers for 2011 fantasy baseball, there’s plenty of names, but here’s three I want to point out:

Jesus Montero – If he gets an everyday job out of Spring Training, which I don’t think he will, he’ll shoot up this rankings list.  I’d move him up to 9th overall.  If he does get the everyday job, his price tag will probably be too steep for my blood though.  I also went over my Jesus Montero fantasy already.  Click that thing-a-ma-boob.  By all means, grab him in keepers if your bench is deep enough, but with the Martin addition, I don’t think we see Montero until late summer at the earliest (barring an injury).  2011 Projections:  20/5/30/.290 in 100 at-bats

John Buck – I usually like to end these top 20 posts with some exciting names, but we’re talking about catchers when I highlight John Buck.  He’s usually forgotten on draft day and he’s good for teen power.  Should you draft him at any point before the final round?  Buck that!  2011 Projections:  40/15/55/.245

Jarrod Saltalamacchia – There was a point in the not that distance past that Jarrod Saltymochachino was a touted prospect.  “Shizz happens, write him off, let’s move on, Grey.”  That’s you talking.  “He’s not quite old; he’ll be only 26 years old in 2011.  In the last round of draft, you got better things to do than to draft an upside catcher in a hitters’ park and lineup?  Yeah, I didn’t think so.”  That’s me talking.  2011 Projections:  55/16/70/.255/5 <– optimistic but whatevs

After realizing the 20% off Bed, Bath & Beyond coupon wasn’t redeemable for slugging 2nd basemen, the Marlins parted ways with Dan Uggla.  Now the Marlins have cut loose all the major objectors to Hanley Ramirez’s lack of hustle.  “Yo, I walk with a pimp limp so I can save my energy for when MTV Cribs visits my house.”  <– Not actual Hanley quote.  With the slashed payroll, Jeffrey Loria can get that seventeenth mansion he’s been eyeing.  Good time to be a Marlins fan!  Uggla is really one of those players whose value doesn’t change much with a trade.  30 homers — check!  Not a great average without some luck — check!  Owns douchey Ed Hardy clothing — check!  If anything, Uggla moving to Atlanta will only help his value.  He was better away from Whoever Will Pay The Most Money To Sponsor This Godforsaken Stadium down in Miami.  Last year, he hit .308 in away games and .264 in home games.  Also, he hit 19 of his 33 homers away from home.  Plus, he will be hitting in a better lineup.  For 2011, I see Uggla giving you a line of 90/32/100/.265/5.  Anyway, let’s see what other moves happened recently with fantasy baseball repercussions:

Omar Infante – Heads to the Marlins where he’s sure to be revered by the smartest fans in baseball.  (That’s why there’s only 20-something fans at each game.  They’re smart to stay home.)  Infante had a career year in 2010.  I don’t see him repeating it in Whoever Will Pay The Most Money To Sponsor This Godforsaken Stadium.  He’ll probably play 2nd base or 3rd base and be on and off your waivers all year.  If you’re drafting Infante, you ain’t no friend of mine.

Chris Coghlan – Didn’t go anywhere (because if he drives past a Marie Callender’s, he will breakdown crying), but the moving parts could change his position in 2011.  He may play 2nd base if the Marlins move Infante over to 3rd.  That is a value change that could be huge big interesting for fantasy.  We’ll need to watch in Spring Training to see where Coghlan plays.

John Buck – Heads to the Marlins.  I’m hoping the Toronto Sun’s headline was, “Buck Done Gone.”  But what about Ronny Paulino?!  Or Brett Hayes?!  Or Brad Davis?!  Or… Jesus, the Marlins catchers were terrible.  John Buck should still get his share of homers, say, 15-18 and have his average come back to the vicinity of .250.  In other words, it’s all right in NL-Only leagues.  In other leagues, bleh.

Martin Prado – Will probably play all around the field, except 2nd base next year.  He’ll get his ABs though.  Let’s not forget, Glass Chipper is currently penciled in at 3rd.  Pencil with a giant eraser being the optimal writing tool.

Cameron Maybin – Traded to the Padres.  Not a great place for a hitter, unless that hitter doesn’t hit much and only runs. (First time ever the ability for “only runs” is a good thing being five minutes outside of Tijuana.)  With the huge ballpark, it could give Maybin a chance to hit to the gaps and steal bases.  His average might never be above atrocious with all the strikeouts and I don’t think he’s suddenly going to be an All-Star.  Best case scenario, he has 5th outfielder value in mixed leagues.  That’s so Maybin!

Rajai Davis – Heads to the Blue Jays.  Have to change my projections for him.  Add an extra 50 homers.  After the A’s got David DeJesus, they had to part ways with Rajai.  “Too many crappy outfielders on one team spoils the broth,” said Billy Beane as played by Brad Pitt.  Really this does nothing to Rajai’s value.  He’ll play every day and steal.  That’s his bag!

It feels like yesterday the baseball regular season started.  You wrote “I heart baseball” in permanent marker on your arm, then you met a girl who wrote “I heart guys who heart baseball” on her arm, then, during sex in September, you screamed out “I love you, Tulo!” and now you don’t have baseball or your girlfriend.  C’mon, calender, make like a soldier and turn to March.  The only cure for the post-baseball season blues — recapping the preseason top twenty lists and being hand-fed Doritos.  First up, Cool Ranch and our preseason Top 20 Catchers for 2010.   It’s important to look back before we look ahead to 2011.  To paraphrase the one and only B-Real, “How do you know where you’re at, if you don’t know where you’ve been?  Understand where I’m coming from?”  It wouldn’t be fair for me to preseason rank the players then rank them again in the postseason based on my opinion, so these postseason top 20 lists are ranked according to ESPN’s Player Rater.  It may not be wholly accurate, but it’s wholly unbiased.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 catchers for 2010 fantasy baseball and how they compared to where I originally ranked them:

1. Joe Mauer – I predicted the homers would come down.  Literally.  Only I didn’t think they’d fall as far as they did.  It was the Hubert H. Homerfree Retrodome factor that I just couldn’t fully know back in January.  Mauer ended up number one and I’d contend he was still overrated and will be so again next March.  Certain guys just get a pass from the fantasy community because they seem likable or have can’t-put-your-finger-on-it-ness. Preseason Rank #1, 2010 Projections:  100/20/85/.330/3, Final Numbers:  88/9/75/.327/1

2. Victor Martinez – V-Mart’s age still hasn’t caught up with him (sorta pun!), but I think, in retrospect, we’re going to look back at this season as the beginning of the end for him.  Preseason Rank #3, 2010 Projections:  85/25/110/.300, Final Numbers:  64/20/79/.302/1

3. Buster Posey – I ranked him 16th in the preseason and here he is 3rd.  The scary thing is, besides the average, I was pretty right on with his projections.  That means it was another yawnstipating year from catchers.  Preseason Rank #16, 2010 Projections:  55/14/65/.290/3, Final Numbers:  58/18/67/.305

4. Brian McCann – I love McCann, there I said it.  He gives you what I want from a catcher.  Good homers, decent RBIs and doesn’t hurt you elsewhere.  Much prefer that to Mauer’s MI-type catcher output.  Preseason Rank #2, 2010 Projections:  80/28/105/.295/3, Final Numbers:  63/21/77/.269/5

5. John Buck – This was the most bang from your Buck since Midnight Cowboy.  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  53/20/66/.281

6. Mike Napoli – I Ron Popeil’d him in a few leagues and I’m glad I did.  Even it wasn’t for the Sciosciapath, he probably would’ve hit 30+ homers. Sure, the average wasn’t great, but, as I’ve said many times, since there’s fewer ABs from catchers, you’re fine with a guy like Napoli.  Preseason Rank #6, 2010 Projections:  60/19/70/.260/5, Final Numbers:  60/26/68/.238/4

7. Miguel Olivo – Well, I ranked Iannetta around here in the preseason and I told you to grab Olivo in April so I wasn’t completely Mr. Bungle on Olivo, but, considering his post-All-Star break numbers were egregious, I’d say his high ranking here is more about the state of catchers.  They’re really bad, ya’ll.  Preseason Unranked, 2010 Projections:  30/16/45/.245, Final Numbers:  55/14/58/.269/7

8. Geovany Soto – Member when I told everyone to draft him?  Good times.  Or, more appropriately, okay times.  For a catcher, not bad times.  Here’s what I said at the Geovany Soto sleeper post last January, “Soto’s 2009 was off the charts unlucky.  His BABIP went from .337 in 2008 to .251 last year.  I.e. His average should come up to .270 levels.  His power was zapped because of a shoulder injury.  When he started to get healthy in June, he hit 6 homers that month.  Then an oblique injury sidelined him.  Bad luck followed by terrible luck.”  And that’s me quoting me!  Preseason Rank #7, 2010 Projections:  65/18/80/.280, Final Numbers:  47/17/53/.280

9. Carlos Ruiz – Honestly, if you jumped out of DeLorean and told me in the preseason Ruiz would be ranked this high and told me his final stats, I still wouldn’t have drafted him.  8 homers and no steals?  Who are you, Willy Aybar?  Ruiz was unranked, but he made the preseason catchers to target post.  Preseason Unranked, 2010 Projections:  45/14/65/.260/3, Final Numbers:  43/8/53/.302

10. Jorge Posada – About two years ago, I jumped off the “Ever drafting Posada again” bandwagon and I’m never going back.  Too old, too tired, too effin’ blind.  Okay, maybe not the last one.  Preseason Rank #9, 2010 Projections:  50/17/75/.280, Final Numbers:  49/18/57/.248/3

11. A.J. Pierzynski – Looking back on these catchers makes me feel like Creighton on a New Orleans ferry.  A.J. was in the don’t draft tier along with Yadier and Suzuki and, looking back, I wouldn’t change a thing.  Preseason Rank #14, 2010 Projections:  55/12/65/.280, Final Numbers:  43/9/56/.270/3

12. Kurt Suzuki – I’d go as far to say Suzuki was actually better than A.J. because he was injured and you were getting stats from someone else while Suzuki was hurt, or, if you were really lucky, you just dropped him.  Preseason Rank #12, 2010 Projections: 65/12/65/.270/6, Final Numbers:  55/13/71/.242/3

13. Yadier Molina – His numbers are even more yawnstipating than Crapolanco.  Preseason Rank #13, 2010 Projections:  40/7/55/.285/5, Final Numbers:  34/6/62/.262/8

14. Ramon Hernandez – Do you see a theme here?  Catchers were so bad, a guy who didn’t even play in 100 games or crack 10 homers is ranked this high.  If you take nothing else away from this post, please punt catchers next year.  Please.  Preseason Rank #20, 2010 Projections:  55/17/65/.265, Final Numbers:  30/7/48/.297

15. John Jaso – I’ve been looking at Jaso as a potential sleeper for next year, but I just don’t think his power or speed upside is great enough.  He might be “The Old Russell Martin (Or Maybe That’s A Young Russell Martin)” at best.  You know, the Martin that actually had value.  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  57/5/44/.263/4

16. Yorvit Torrealba – If you owned Torrealba for longer than two months, you didn’t win your league.  There’s just no way.  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  31/7/37/.271/7

17. Ryan Doumit – Chew on this:  If Yuniesky Betancourt were a catcher, he’d be ranked in the top ten.  Preseason Rank #15, 2010 Projections: 50/16/60/.280/3, Final Numbers:  42/13/45/.251/1

18. Rod Barajas – Ladies and gentlemen, I bring to you your 2010 fantasy baseball catchers.  They are the new blech.  2010 Projections:  Please/Don’t/Draft/Him, Final Numbers:  Do/You/Really/Care?

19. Miguel Montero – I’d say Wieters was the much, much bigger bust than Montero simply because Montero was injured for an extended stretch so you had a chance to get someone else’s numbers from him.  But, don’t get me wrong, Montero was a rather supersized disappointment too.  Preseason Rank #5, 2010 Projections:  65/17/80/.280, Final Numbers:  36/9/43/.266

20. Matt Wieters – Finally, the Billy Butler-sized bust.  As I practice my Saberhagenmetrics, Wieters will be on quite a few teams of mine next year.  Sucks if you got caught in the crossfire of his down year, but one bad season at 24-years-old doesn’t take his future shine off.  The Orioles could surprise next year.  Yeah, I said it!  And kinda mean it.  Though they’ll still only land in third or fourth place.  Preseason Rank #4, 2010 Projections:  70/18/85/.305, Final Numbers:  37/11/55/.249