Fantasy Baseball Advice

Now’s the time when we put all of our 2012 baseball predictions in one place.  Then in October we can look back at this and laugh.  Oh, and we will laugh.  Big, bellowing, seat of your pants laughs. Hindsight is indeed 20/20.  But where’s the harm in setting ourselves to look like jackasses?  We run a fantasy baseball blog, after all.  Grey’s picks in RED. Rudy’s picks in BLUE. (For what it’s Wuertz, last year Grey was two games away from predicting the World Series and he did predict the AL Rookie of the Year, NL Cy Young and NL MVP.  Take my man to Vegas!)  Anyway, here’s our predictions for baseball’s post-season awards and whatnot:

AL Pennant Winner – Los Angeles Angels of Not Really Los Angeles – I hate to go with the obvious… That’s why I’m not choosing anyone from the AL East.

AL Pennant Winner – Texas Rangers – I live 20 minutes from their AAA stadium.  Hoping this gets me free tacos for the year.

NL Pennant Winner – Cincinnati Reds – Dusty will once again face his nemesis Pujols in a series touted as, The Toothpick vs. The Hispanic Splinter.

NL Pennant Winner – Philadelphia Phillies - As long as the three aces stay healthy, I think the Phillies are the favorite even if their lineup went in the dumper.

World Series Champion – Reds – An added prediction:  Game five of the series and Mike Leake’s arm will fall off from overuse.  Only this will turn out to be a blessing because after the Reds gave Votto $200 million dollars, they’ll have no money for bats, so Votto will use Leake’s arm to bat with and homer.

World Series Champion – Texas Rangers – Free tacos!

AL ROY – Yu Darvish – I almost put Jesus Montero, but history tells us that imported pitchers do well their first year and if we ignore that we’re doomed to repeat it… But, I guess, I’m not ignoring it.  Either way, it’s a three-way fight for AL ROY this year (with Moore too).

AL ROY – Yu Darvish – It’s ridiculous that players in overseas pro leagues still qualify for this award.  Otherwise, I’d say Matt Moore.

NL ROY – Zack Cozart – This is my only prediction that I’m picking with my fantasy heart and not real baseball one.  I really want Cozart to do well.

NL ROY – Mat Gamel - Not really enamored with NL rookies this year.  I like Mesoraco and Rosario, but I don’t think they get enough playing time.  Can’t pick Cozart because it’ll only exacerbate Grey’s man crush.  Gamel’s evidently not a rookie so Yonder Alonso.  

AL Cy Young – Felix Hernandez – Last year, he was better than he was in his Cy Young year without the good fortune.  Here’s to F-Her getting lucky again!

AL Cy Young – Jon Lester - Fried chicken and beer for everyone!

NL Cy Young – Zack Greinke – I’ll admit to wanting to pick Kershaw again, but there’s no fun in that.

NL Cy Young – Zack Greinke - Miffed I only got him in one league….but it’s the RCL!

AL MVP – Evan Longoria – I made this prediction back in January and I’m gonna stand by it.  Okay, sit.  It’s a long season.

AL MVP – Robinson Cano - I like Grey’s choice – particularly since he’s on a lot of our teams.  There are so many good 1Bs in the AL so it’ll be hard to pick one for MVP.

NL MVP – Joey Votto – And on a cloud made of chili in the skyline of Cincy, Marge Schott’s ghost and the ghost of Joe Morgan’s broadcasting career will be smiling down.

NL MVP – Hanley Ramirez - Guillen and Hanley will be besties this year, Hanley gets a big extension, and then regresses again.

Now put your picks in the comments and we’ll look back on this in October and mock each other.

As I alluded to in my 3rd baseman posting, first base scares me greatly this year in a deep league format.  Outside the big six – Miguel Cabrera, Albert Pujols, Joey Votto, Adrian Gonzalez, Prince Fielder, & Mark Teixiera – I see very little reliability from a position that could leave you hurting if you aren’t an owner of one of those guys.  Don’t agree with me?  Well go look at the 1st baseman that come after those 6 on Mock Draft Central to round out your top ten: Konerko, Hosmer, Morse, & Berkman.  Your 11th is Freddie Freeman; the quintessential average first baseman.  I know people want to consider Konerko safe, but he’s 36.  I prefer not to be the first person in line to find out when the wheels come off guys like him.  Then there’s Hosmer – a 22 year old who can’t take a walk.  I like his career long term, but even fangraphs is projecting him around 23/13.  Steals are nice, but I want 30 HRs from my 1st baseman and I want them now!  Round things out with Morse – a person with very little track record though I do kinda trust him – and Berkman.  Hey, if I don’t trust Konerko at 36, why would I trust a guy who had his worst major league season in 2010 and hit 24 of his 31 HRs in the first half of his rebound 2011 campaign who is also 36 and won’t have Pujols in his lineup anymore?  And was that a long sentence or was it just me?  Point being, I do not want to leave the first round without a 1B this year.  Taking Teixiera would most likely ruin my perfect draft, but I would grab him nonetheless.  However, if I could get one of those first 5 this year, I’d feel comfortable taking a risk on Paul Goldschmidt around the 12th.  There are a lot of upside plays later in the draft that I have no problem taking a gamble on, but I want at least one of my first basemen to be an offensive rock for me.

I’ll Avoid

Freddie Freeman - Well duh, ONC, you’ve already said you don’t trust him.  Actually, I didn’t say I have no faith in him, I said he was boring.  Like Gaby Sanchez boring.  But Sanchez’ ADP is 196 while Freeman’s is 120; I called and left a message with mockdraftcentral about this one and they haven’t gotten back with me yet.  Wanted to know if it’s a girls name discount or something.  I also asked them about why guys disappear from the rankings when you filter by position like why I can’t see Berkman and have to rewrite my post because of it.  Don’t they know I have a day job and need to leave for work right now?  Neverthewho!  Some people believe the end of the season was the start of a breakout.  Some people also believe that aliens built Egyptian pyramids.  You can believe whatever you wanna believe.  Just keep it off my History Channel.  I came here for facts!

Ryan Howard – Didn’t have a great season last year then fell down, went boom as the final play of the Phillies playoff run.  He hasn’t played for long but he was a late prospect; dude is 32 coming off a really bad injury.  I think there are better gambles you can make at 176 ADP.

I’ll Go For:

Adam LaRoche - Nestled in the bosom of the the 26th round is a name that many are familiar with from fantasy baseball years past.  LaRoche – which is french for ‘The Roach’, though I don’t know if that’s the bug or the thing you pass around the lava lamp while making philosophical ruminations about Scooby Doo – isn’t sexy, for sure.  He’s a been there, done that kind of guy who gives you 25 HRs and 80 to 90 RBI with a .270 average when healthy.  Considering the health risks of Kendrys Morales (18th round) and Justin Morneau (14th), you’re taking much less risk with his shoulder holding up than you are with the other two.

Chris Davis - Oh yes, I went there.  The hatred of Davis runs deep.  Going back to 2010, he was supposed to be a 30 HR hitter in the middle of a dangerous Texas lineup.  But its hard to stick in a lineup when you strike out 35% of the time.  Though he jacked 21 HRs in 2010, he had a .238 average and showed a lack of patience at the plate with a 5.7% walk rate.  Truthfully, none of these potholes in his game have necessarily changed.  What HAS changed is he’s on a team that doesn’t mind a guy that strikes out 200 times in a season.  If they’re willing to ride Mark Reynolds at 3B while he hits .221, why would they show Davis the door?  Look for 25 HRs, a crap-ton of K’s and don’t expect an average above .250; you shouldn’t be disappointed with finding that with a 297 ADP.

Situation to Monitor: Oakland

They’ve got 4 guys competing for the starter’s role in Oakland this year.  One guy has a great OBP but no power: Daric Barton.  Two of them have great power, ok OBP but a craptacular K rate: Chris Carter & Brandon Allen.  And then there’s Kila Ka’aihue. I just can’t quit this man.  Kila seems to fit everything that Moneyball is supposed to be about: I get on base via walks or I hit a HR.  Kansas City only brought him up last year because they needed someone to cover first while they groomed Hosmer’s game and his scroatee (that’s my term for goatees grown by young men who can’t really grow them.  They’re scruffy lookin.  Scruffy + Goatee = Scroatee.  Get it?  Yeah, whatever to you too!  PS, don’t go look up the Urban Dictionary on that one.  Or do if you need reverse psychology).  Back to the point: That type of confidence in a player doesn’t breed…well, confidence in a player.  This one should play out fairly quickly in spring training but my bitcoins are on the Kila monster winning the job.

For those fantasy players who play in standard mixed leagues, the hot stove season is a time of excitement. These owners can just sit back and enjoy the player moves, secure in the knowledge that regardless of what happens there will not be a huge impact on gameplay. Sure some players will change jerseys, some jobs will be gained or lost because of moves, but by and large the player market remains the same.

Contrast that to fantasy owners in AL or NL-only leagues, who view the hot stove season with trepidation. They watch these same player moves closely, aware of the fact that superstars may become undraftable at the drop of a hat. Despite this risk, over the course of time these moves tend to balance out, with relatively equal numbers of players coming and going from each league. However, this season is different. To use a tired cliché, a “perfect storm” of destruction has afflicted the hitters of the National League. Similar to flipping a coin ten times and having it come up tails every time, seemingly every big ticket hitting item left the NL for greener pastures (and a ton of even greener cash).

No position was seemingly hit harder than the first base position in the National League. This position was traditionally held by perennial 1st round picks like Albert Pujols and Prince Fielder, but both of those studs have packed their bags for the “other” league. Consequently, the position has understandably taken a huge hit in terms of talent. Fortunately, one superstar remains in the NL, one Joey Votto. In fact, Votto is the only player at his position drafted in the top 40. I would go so far as to say Votto is probably worth the #2 overall pick in such leagues (after Matt Kemp), because no position has a wider gap between the best and second best player than 1st base.

The fact that the second player on this list is Michael Morse should be very telling about the state of the position. However, that does not mean that your 1B position is “Votto or Bust.” Morse himself had a breakout season last year, and fellow youngsters Paul Goldschmidt and Freddie Freeman join him in the tier below Votto. I’d be perfectly happy starting any of these guys for my NL-only squads, especially at ADPs ranging from 50-70, but perceived scarcity may drive their price higher than I’m willing to pay.

As for the individual players here, who you will pick comes down to personal preference and team needs. Goldschmidt has the most raw power of the bunch, but his swing also probably has the most holes. Freeman, on the other hand, is a great contact hitter, but he may not surpass his 21 home runs from 2011 until he puts more meat on his rather lanky frame. Morse is a bit of a mystery, showing slightly above average power in a long minor league career, but when given the chance at the major league level he produced a nifty 31 long balls in 2011. He’s first on the list in ADP, but I see a higher ceiling with the other two guys. Again, just a matter of personal preference.

If high-risk high-reward veterans are more your speed than the youngsters above, then Ryan Howard and Ike Davis are your answer. Both face uncertain 2012 statuses due to ankle injuries (though Howard’s outlook is considerably bleaker than Davis’s), and both are coming at a substantial discount from their full health prices. Recall that Howard has been a power stalwart at his position for nearly a decade, and that Ike Davis had a nice 2010 and was off to a great start in 2011 before the Mets training staff struck him down with a bum ankle. You would do well to have insurance making one of these picks, but it could well win you a league if the cards break just right.

If you miss out on the above candidates, uninspiring veterans seem to be the rule. Guys like Adam LaRoche, Carlos Lee, Lance Berkman, James Loney, Todd Helton, Aubrey Huff and Gaby Sanchez.  Some of these guys may well outproduce players I have listed above, but it is a matter of ceiling and floor that lands them here. Berkman had a great 2011, but at his age fall off the cliff risk is a real possibility, lowering the floor for me. Even Gaby Sanchez, the guy from this group that I would probably like the most, has a pretty low ceiling, albeit with a higher floor.

This list has brought us past the top 12 1st baseman, so you’ve probably already seen the first baseman you will end up starting. Admit it, it’s not as bleak as you thought it would be, is it? That is not, however, to say that you will be happy with who you end up with. So what are you going to do if you find yourself staring down the barrel of James Loney? The answer lies on the final names on our list- guys like Mat Gamel, Brandon Belt and Anthony Rizzo. Gamel, seemingly out of chances in 2011, has been given one more chance to prove that he is not a bust as a top prospect. Rizzo and Belt flopped in their major league debuts, but I am not ready to take the bloom off the rose of these prospects. Belt’s 20-20 potential at 1B is very real and very rare indeed, while Rizzo’s power definitely plays now that he has left Petco for Wrigley. I would not necessarily start one of these guys, but I like them as late round picks in redraft leagues that have upside to pan out. Finally, a more creative manager may try to handcuff one of the injury prone guys above and hope for a setback.

I am not going to sugar coat it, losing Fielder and Pujols has left a huge gap in talent and turned it into a scarce position. Take consolation in the fact that every team is in the same boat in this deflated market. If you are lucky enough to land Votto, then smile and know that you are ahead of the game. If not, then 1st base may indeed prove an adventure. However, there’s nothing more satisfying than coming out on top of a challenging position- it’s part of why we play the game. Let’s just hope we all fare better than George Clooney in navigating this perfect storm.

Here’s a post that’s gonna make you wanna slap ya mama and call her Frances Fisher.  The other day I told you how to draft your pitchers for 2012 fantasy baseball.  I laid it out to you nice and simple (if you have a degree in “What The Hell Is Grey Talking About?”  Not a PhD, mind you.  Just a BS.)  Today, we forget all that jabberwocky on the who-ha and get down to business old school-style (which means if you don’t comprehend, I will hit you over the head with a baseball bat signed by Joe Clark.)  What I’m hoping to lay out to you is who do you draft 2nd if you’ve drafted so and so first.  I think it might be helpful to go through pairings for your 5 outfielders, all your middle and corner infielders too.  I’m not sure I’ll have the time or patience to do them though.   We’ll see!  Or not.  Your choice.  For easy reference, the royal we will be using the top 10 2012 fantasy baseball rankings and the top 20 2012 fantasy baseball rankings.  I’m going to assume you’re in a 12 team, 5×5, MI, CI, 5 OF, 1 Utility, 1 Catcher league.  Anyway, here’s some pairings for the first two rounds of 2012 fantasy baseball drafts:

Miguel Cabrera – I’d put him with just about anyone, but another 1st baseman.  The reality of the situation is you want to get someone that is going to give you a few steals, say, 10.  A third baseman would work, but it might be unrealistic to think you’re going to get Longoria.  That leaves you with Wright.  That doesn’t sound too shabby.  Think about how for the last five years prior to 2011 and you would’ve loved to have Wright and Miggy on the same team.  I say, live in the past and do it.  But I’d say “Do it” like Ben Stiller in the Starsky & Hutch remake.  Now it’s totally not ideal to grab Wright if you think Miggy will get 3rd base eligibility.  Right now, I put it at about 85% that he will have 3rd base eligibility within a few weeks of Opening Day, so if you wanna grab an outfielder instead, I’m not hating the game or the playa (that’s not Spanish for beach).  I say grab Andrew McCutchen or Jay Bruce.  Wanna go for a 2nd baseman?  Kinsler might be there.  Swiggy with one of those three looks real nice to me.  Your team would be balanced heading off to the third pick.  Someone like Reyes or Hanley would also work, though they might not be there.  Now, the risk with not grabbing a 3rd baseman is if Miggy starts treating grounders at third like they’re empty beer cans and starts booting them.  Then you may have punted 3rd and Miggy is sent back to first before his 3rd base eligibility kicks in.  Kicks being the operative word.  Really, as long as you avoid a 1st baseman, catcher and a starter while getting some combo of power and speed, you should be fine.  For those of you who are thinking you can grab a 1st baseman and then move Miggy to 3rd two weeks in, you’re screwed if Miggy doesn’t get 3rd base eligibility, even if that possibility is only slim.  And, yes, that’s the only time Miggy and slim will ever be used in a sentence.  In summation, don’t put unnecessary risk on the table in the first two rounds.

Albert Pujols – More or less the same deal as Miggy, obviously without the possible 3rd base eligibility caveat.  I wouldn’t worry about anything other than trying to get a 2nd pick with at least 10 steals, and no 1st baseman, catcher or starter.

Joey Votto – You could pair Votto with Yuniesky Betancourt and you’d be fine.  Votto’s that good.  Wouldn’t be surprised if he’s a number one pick next year.  Let’s run away together, Joey!  Wait, what am I saying?  Oh, pairings, right.  Yeah, you don’t want Votto with a 1st baseman, obviously.  He’s similar to Miggy and Pujols.  You want a third baseman, but he can work with just about anything.

Jose Bautista – Hey, something other than a 1st baseman.  Yay, Joey Bats!  Anyone but a 3rd baseman would work.  You really want a 1st baseman.  (This is a common theme.  Leave the first two rounds with a 3rd baseman and a 1st baseman and you’re in better shape than the schmohawk who took Hanley and Cano.)  Also, I worry that Bautista’s average might bottom out a little (to the .265 range), so I’d avoid a guy like Kinsler or Stanton.  You don’t want to leave the 2nd round with a potential combined average of .260.  If you take Baustista and a 3rd baseman because you think Bautista can play your outfield, you’re overthinking.  Think of Bautista as a 3rd baseman.  If during the season you need to put him in the outfield because you picked up a 3rd baseman off waivers, then more power to you.  Right now you don’t put him in the outfield because then you’re only going to draft 4 outfielders and scrounge for a 3rd baseman.  Your 3rd baseman is gonna be crap and you’re gonna end up with Bautista there anyway and you’re gonna be short at outfield.  One thing you can do later on is draft a 3rd baseman at your corner infidel slot.  Then if he does well, you can move him into 3rd, Bautista into your outfield and have the flexibility to grab a 1st baseman or 3rd baseman off waivers for your corner slot.

Evan Longoria – Since Longoria’s speed is a little wonky, I’d have no problem pairing him with a guy like Kemp, McCutchen or Reyes.  Kemp might not be realistic though considering he’s been going first in some mocks.  In my fantasy fantasy world, they’d both be there though.  Same goes for Ellsbury.  I’d even pair Longoria with Pedroia since he usually gives hella at-bats and a decent average. Someone like Kinsler or Stanton aren’t terrible, but you’re putting yourself in a potential average hole that you’ll need to dig out of later.  Just keep in mind, Longoria’s average and steals may need help.

Matt Kemp – Position-wise, he doesn’t go with many.  Stats-wise, he goes with everyone, except a pitcher.  This is probably why he’s going number one overall in mocks.  The problem with that is you draft Kemp and you have one outfielder but still need four more of those and have no infielders.  That guarantees you will leave the 2nd round missing at least two of 2nd base, 1st base or 3rd base.  In the best case scenario, you draft Kemp and Longoria or Wright, so you don’t have to worry about 3rd base.  If you get Kemp and Longoria or Wright, you’ll need to pray your Hosmer, Konerko or other 1st base pick works out.  Otherwise, it might be a long season.  Remember, Hosmer looks great right now, but if he was a sure thing, he’d be going in the first round.  If you can get Kemp and Prince Fielder, then more power to you, though that seems like a pipe dream in the mocks I’ve seen.  Kemp and Kinsler is okay, but then you have no 1st baseman or 3rd baseman and you’ll be up against teams with Miggy, Pujols, Longoria, Prince etc.  I.e., you’ll be doomed.  Kemp plus another outfielder is you throwing in the towel after the first two rounds.

Troy Tulowitzki – This isn’t about pairing, but I don’t see how I’m going to draft Tulo in any league this year.  Just going too early for my taste.  Any the hoo!  If I do, I’d give a lookie-loo to a 1st baseman or 3rd baseman, Sam I am, ma’am.  Since Tulo is a power threat at a normally weaker position, I’d also take a speed/power outfielder (McCutchen, CarGo).  You are dealing with more risk though if you go the speed route with your second pick because if Tulo craps out with another injury and you have, say, McCutchen, you may only get around 35 homers combined from your first two picks while Fielder can produce that by himself.  I’d also be wary of going with CarGo.  Not because of the team thing, but more because of the injury-prone thing. I don’t love the idea of Cano and Tulo.  You’re all middle infield.  Why don’t you just go and marry Adam Everett?  Realistically, if you have to draft Tulo in the top 5 to get him, you’re gonna be looking at Wright, Beltre or Bruce at the end of the 2nd round.  I’d take any of them, but now with Bruce, you will have no corner infidels.  It’s precarious.  (Do you see why I always try to go 1st base or 3rd base in the 1st round?)

Justin Upton – Upton is similar to Kemp.  No outfielders with him.  You really should take a corner man.  Longoria’s great if he’s still there, Fielder will work wonders and clean up after himself!

Prince Fielder – I’d take Longoria with Fielder, I’d also take Fielder with Longoria.  See how that works?  Since Fielder is power first, I’d pair him with Reyes, Hanley or McCutchen too.  He’s a similar pairing to Pujols and Miggy.  Kinsler?  Fine!  Wright?  Great!  Instead of gum, chew bacon!  It all works!

Adrian Gonzalez – He could have a bit more risk than Fielder on the average side, but for our purposes he’s nearly identical to Fielder in projections and pairing.

Robinson Cano – No Kinsler or Pedroia.  Similarly to Tulo, since Cano is a power threat at a normally weaker position, I’d take a speed/power outfielder (McCutchen, CarGo), a 1st baseman or a 3rd baseman.  I’d try to avoid Reyes or Hanley.  You don’t want to have to scrounge together an outfield and two corners leaving the 2nd round.

Jacoby Ellsbury – You don’t want an outfielder.  You can take Reyes, Hanley, Pedroia or Kinsler, but then you might only have 35-40 homers after two picks and some people are getting that with one pick.  If a 1st baseman (Votto, Fielder) is there, then you just scored.  If no one is there without reaching down to David Wright, you might have yourself a Javid Wrightsbury combo player that goes 60/60.  Or you might get a player that hurts his hamstring and complains the fences are still too far, leaving you wanting Justdrian Gonzaton.  (<–And that’s how you make an already confusing post, more confusing!)

The top 10 and top 20 for 2012 fantasy baseball are in the bag, along with the top 20 catchers and your receipt for a $30 massage valued at $50.  Thanks, Groupon!  Today, Razzhands, we look at the top 20 1st basemen for 2012 fantasy baseball.  All this shizz can be found under the 2012 fantasy baseball rankings.  Don’t believe me?  Click the link.  This top 20 list of 1st basemen is bursting at the seams like you at a Hometown Buffet.  Speaking of gorging yourself, I’d like a top 1st baseman on my team in 2012, but it’s a little different year than last year.  There’s actually only 5 top first basemen then caveats on number 6 (Te(i)x) through 9, then there’s some interesting flyers a bit later.  I have a feeling 2013′s rankings are going to see major shifts with some guys that are lower on this ranking sheet moving up.  Should be a fun year for first basemen and one where you can take a bit more risk than previous years.  This list will get additional 1st basemen added to it in the way of sleeper posts.  As with the other rankings, the first basemen are broken up into tiers with my projections included.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 1st basemen for 2012 fantasy baseball:

1. Miguel Cabrera – See top 10 for 2012 fantasy baseball for Miguel Cabrera’s projections.

2. Albert Pujols – See top 10 for 2012 fantasy baseball for Albert Pujols’s projections.

3. Joey Votto – See top 10 for 2012 fantasy baseball for Joey Votto’s projections.

4. Adrian Gonzalez – See top 10 for 2012 fantasy baseball for Adrian Gonzalez’s projections.

5. Prince Fielder – See top 10 for 2012 fantasy baseball for Prince Fielder’s projections.

6. Mark Teixeira – See top 20 for 2012 fantasy baseball for Mark Teixeira’s projections.  This is actually a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Michael Young.  I call this tier, “Caterpillars.  Tier name will be explained in the Young blurb.  Feel free to read Young’s blurb then return here.  Hey, back already?!  Awesome!  I missed you.  Do you enjoy cuddling?”

7. Paul Konerko – He’s been wildly consistent.  In 2008 when he hit only 22 homers, it looks like the anomaly.  If I were to say 2012 is the year he gets old and it all falls apart, I’d just be guessing.  Last year he hit hardly any doubles, more line drives and singles, but he’s also getting smarter cutting his K-rate and increasing his walk rate.  The biggest hurdle Konerko is going to have this year is keeping his will to play as the team folds on Opening Day.  Maybe Hawk can work in some of his positivism in the negativity.  “This is the fastest a team has ever been out of contention!  You can put it on the board… We gone!”  2012 Projections:  85/29/100/.290

8. Lance Berkman – Let’s see if you can pick out the number that doesn’t belong, these are his homer totals from 2009 to 2011 — 25, 14, 31.  If you said 14, you’re a believer.  Feel free to draft Berkman.  If you said 31, you’re in my camp.  We will not be drafting Berkman.  If you said 27, that wasn’t a choice.  Berkman didn’t necessarily have an odd year for homers per fly balls.  He made solid contact, reducing his ground balls, but he’s 36 years old and missing Pujols.  That’s enough for me to avoid.  2012 Projections:  80/24/95/.275/3

9. Michael Young – This tier is filled with some older shorties, huh?  Go, shorty, it’s your 35th birthday; we gonna party like it’s your 35th birthday!  As I kinda said in the opening paragraph, the 1st basemen in 2012 are about to go caterpillar up in here and morph into a butterfly, but with that butterfly emerging from its cocoon Don Ameche-style, it needs to shed its caterpillar skin (can you tell I did well in my college science courses?).  This tier is gonna leave behind some caterpillar skin that will be released into the garden and turn into a new plant and/or Eric Hosmer.  (Again, not a science major.)  To explain all of this without the confusing metaphor, guys in this tier are getting old and will make way for guys in the next tier for next year.  As for Young, I don’t like him because he only gives average, and, while that’s been consistently solid in his career, he still got lucky last year and he’s due to hit a lot closer to .300 than .340.  Projections:  75/15/90/.310/5

10. Carlos Santana – Here comes the fun!  Can you feel the excitement?  It’s like that time we got together and did the crab circle dance in the pool in Cabo San Lucas and all our roommates were there except Zach and Ashley — but who needs them anyway?!  This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Butler.  I call this tier, “The crab circle in Cabo San Lucas.”  Is that too specific a reference?  You guys and three girl readers get it.  See the top 20 catchers for 2012 fantasy baseball to see Carlos Santana’s projections.

11. Eric Hosmer – I’m ignoring sophomore jinxes like I ignored when my whole sophomore class saw me get depantsed and I had on dirty tightie-whities.  I continue to stress that they were once all brown underwear that got bleached.  Hosmer is going to be special, and even if it’s not this year, he’s going to hold trade value through the season unless his bottom really falls out, which I don’t envision happening.  His commitment to stealing around ten bases will keep him from totally flopping.  He will be Joey Votto-lite this year.  How lite is the only question.  I don’t think it’ll be that lite.  BTW, you know who’s Billy Butler-lite?  Kirstie Alley.  2012 Projections:  85/25/95/.280/10

12. Michael Morse – I think Morse just had his best season, but I also don’t think he’s gonna fall like, say, Ryan Ludwick of a few years ago, to mention a player that was old for a prospect, broke out then went back to obscurity.  Speaking of which, when you get robbed in a parking garage and the security guard tells the police they didn’t hear anything, you tell them they’re more like obscurity!  Store it away for when it’s applicable.  Morse had the trappings* of a breakout but his health always got in the way.  I’m excited to watch the Nats this year and Morse should be smack dab in the middle of it.  *I have no idea if I used trappings right but it sounded pretty cool the way I just threw it out there, right?  2012 Projections:  80/27/90/.275/3

13. Michael Cuddyer – Gets away from Hubert H. Homerfree Dome and goes to Coors.  Boom goes the dynamite!  Or does it?  Cuddyer just had a solid season, and terrific when compared to the team around him.  Jack Wilson would’ve looked good in that Minnesota mucky muck last year.  Cuddyer hits a ton of ground balls and he’s not a huge homer threat.  I’d say if he repeats his 2011, it’s a win for him and his fantasy owners, especially since he has 2nd base eligibility in some leagues (17 games).  Check your rules first before you draft him for 2nd, then think about how you’re checking rules for fantasy baseball.  And you wonder why you have no success with the ladies.  2012 Projections:  75/22/85/.275/5

14. Mark Reynolds – His K-rate is kinda comical.  He’s a terrible real baseball player.  But real baseball is for real athletes.  What kind of crap is that?!  Give me a computer, an ergonomic chair and some Doritos, I’m playing fantasy baseball!  As long as Mini Donkey continues to hit 35 homers and steal 7-10 bases, he has solid fantasy value, just don’t draft Krispie Young, Adam Dunn or any other low average guys with him.  Actually, don’t draft Adam Dunn at all.  2012 Projections:  75/35/90/.230/7

15. Adam Lind – The reason why I still go back to Lind no matter how many times he kicks my metaphorical puppy is because he’s capable of 35+ homers.  Also, he got a bad rap in 2010 for being a guy that comes with a poor average, but he’s not that, y’all!  He’s around a .260 guy with neutral luck.  That’s a’ight, and a’ight is better than just a’ight but not quite a’ight a’ight.  Want a silly prediction that has no basis in science or fact?  Lind’s gonna be a top three finisher in 2012 for MVP.  2012 Projections:  90/32/105/.270 (<–crazy optimistic, but whatevs)

15 1/2. Billy Butler – I gave Butler a half ranking because he only has 11 games at 1st base.  In Yahoo leagues, you can place The Moob Man at 1st.  I’d use two hands so one moob doesn’t feel neglected.  Yes, Butler’s in the exciting tier, but I worry that Butler will only get 17 or less homers with a bad case of blimpotence.  But II, The Return of But, at 26 years old I think we can trust he’ll hover closer to 20 ding dongs.  Butler, “Did someone say ding dongs?!”  2012 Projections:  90/20/100/.300

16. Ryan Howard – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until the end of the list.  I call this tier, “Some major question marks, but a chance for nice dividends.”  Howard will move in the rankings at some point in the preseason when we know exactly when he’s gonna return.  If he’s back by the end of April, he hits 25-30 homers and is worth stashing.  If he’s not due back until midseason, I wouldn’t even bother drafting him and would drop him off this list completely.  I don’t believe in DL’ing players for months in redraft leagues.  For example, think about how many years you drafted Brandon Webb waiting for him to return from injury.  Yeah, that worked out well.  2012 Projections:  70/28/100/.260 (returning on May 1st)

17. Mike Napoli – See the top 20 catchers for 2012 fantasy baseball to see Mike Napoli’s projections.

18. Ike Davis – Last year, Ike took so many hits on the DL; somewhere Tina Turner was smiling.  Davis says his ankle will be good to go for Spring Training.  I say, just keep him away from the Mets doctors.  From this tier, I’d say Davis has the biggest chance to shoot up the rankings for next year.  Or he could have one setback and miss another three months.  2012 Projections:  85/22/90/.280

19. Mark Trumbo – When I went over Albert Pujols’s signing, I also covered Trumbo’s question mark.  As long as Abreu, Double I and Kendrys are shooting the shizz and talking about the good old times, Trumbo’s either playing 3rd or in trouble of losing playing time.  3rd base would be great, but his defense might give Scioscia the gas face.  I really can’t see someone who gave Jeff Mathis 1360 plate appearances in 5 years playing Trumbo at third.  That’s a huge question mark.  If Trumbo can get 500 plate appearances, then I’d happily draft him. Remember a platoon player at catcher is doable for fantasy, but at 1st or even at corner you need stats.  Projections:  60/25/75/.260/7 (500 PAs)

20. Paul Goldschmidt – I already went over my Paul Goldschmidt fantasy.  I wrote it while rooting for Garfield from Parking Wars to boot a car.  2012 Projections:  75/27/85/.245/7

After the top 20 1st basemen, there’s a lot of names but these stand out:

Kendrys Morales – Might not be a bigger question mark on this entire list.  Ryan Howard could be out for a while, but if he returns, you should get decent production.  Kendrys might return and still be crizzap.  Or he might return and platoon with Abreu or Trumbo or Wells.  Or he might return and be valuable.  You got more variables than an episode of Mythbusters.  Boom!  I’m bigger on basic cable than Chumlee!  2012 Projections:  65/22/75/.290

Justin Morneau – This is one question mark that I’m not drafting anywhere.  This schmohawk can come to my house and make me a perfectly medium-rare steak with the most amazing compound butter and I won’t go near him because, after last year, his steak will probably give me an immediate heart attack.  2012 Projections:  60/17/75/.285

Gaby Sanchez – He (she?) can give you modest power and solid counting stats.  Plus, you can pretend you have a girl on your team.  You ask why he’s not ranked and I answer that he is.  He’s ranked just after Morneau.  Him and Morneau are a bit of a toss-up, but Morneau has an outside chance at bigger power numbers.  Gaby has a better chance of actually playing a full season.  2012 Projections:  65/20/85/.265/3

Freddie Freeman – I don’t look forward to drafting Freeman.  So much so, I won’t draft him.  So much so much so, I didn’t even rank him.  He’s not ranked.  He’s just blurbed here.  He’s too much James Loney for my taste.  He has a slightly off year on power and you’re gonna be lucky to get 17 homers.  Belch called and said burp.  2012 Projections:  60/19/75/.280/3

Yonder Alonso – I took all the prospect reports on Alonso and put through my supercomputer and out came, “Should develop into a 20+ homer hitter with a great eye.  Padres TV can save time by eliminating instant replay because he runs like he’s in slow mo.”  I liked Yonder a lot more when he was on the Reds with no starting job than on the Padres with a starting job.  It’s just so hard to get excited about a hitter’s upside in Petco.  2012 Projections:  55/16/70/.280

Justin Smoak – I’m letting someone else take the Smoak gamble this year.  Until he hits 25+ homers, I don’t want to mess with his .240-ish average.  Call me crazy.  You, “Crazy.”  2012 Projections:  55/18/65/.245

Carlos Pena – Looking for someone this year that can do what Adam Dunn did last year?  Look no further!  He signed with the Rays, but it doesn’t matter.  He is what he is everywhere he plays.  I will now slap myself hard across the face for saying a variation of “it is what it is.”  2012 Projections:  55/25/75/.210

Adam Dunn – Everyone seems to think Dunn is not, um, done.  Correction:  Everyone that did not own him last year.  I guess they want a piece of the frustration that others felt last year.  That’s like standing at the craps table and watching roll after roll where people lose and you’re like, “Now is the time to get in!”  No, it’s not.  There’s no reason why the table is going to turn for the better.  The big-bellied age quickly and poorly.  Don’t go near Dunn just because you lucked out not owning him last year.  And, if you did own him last year and want more, then you’re like Homer grabbing the donut no matter how many times the electrical current shocks him.  2012 Projections:  55/22/80/.220 (<–actually optimistic)

Anthony Rizzo – Because I couldn’t end the post on a sour note with Adam Dunn, here’s R to the izzo.  I already went over my Anthony Rizzo 2012 fantasy.  I wrote it while huffing.  It was also written before the trade to the Cubs, so the end about how I wanna take a chainsaw to Petco is irrelevant.  I don’t think we’ll see Rizzo until June at the earliest so in redraft leagues, I’d ignore him, but in keeper leagues I’d stash him.  He could hit 25 homers as soon as next year.  If he breaks camp with the Cubs, then it’s on like Steve Wiebe playing Donkey Kong.  2012 Projections:  30/10/45/.250/4 (in 300 ABs)

Brandon Belt – Okay, one more!  This is it though.  If Belt were guaranteed everyday playing time, I’d place him between Napoli and Davis.  Around 16 and a half.  Belt is capable of 25/10/.280, which would have him poised to be a top 5 1st baseman next year.  The problem is Bruce Bochy has a gigantic head, but a very small brain.  Hopefully he realizes Belt ties the entire Giants outfit together.  2012 Projections:  70/24/80/.280/10 (in 500 ABs)