Joe Nathan and Huston Street are gone and everyone moved up.  That’s why people like Matt Capps and Chris Perez have done little but squat on the john yet moved up the rankings.  Though I still managed to find a way to not move up Brian Fuentes.  The way we’re going there won’t be any $12 Salads by May.  Then what?  $8 Side Dishes?  Who needs roasted cauliflower with truffle oil?  Not me!  I’m happy with a baked potato.  Yes, sir!  Hmm… Maybe I shouldn’t write these right before lunch.  Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The murmurs of Heath Bell getting traded to another team by July are getting louder.  (BTW, I love the word murmurs.  I really wanted the survivors on Lost to call The Others, The Murmurs.  Wouldn’t that have been awesome?!  Okay, maybe me.)  Prepare for a dozen or so posts titled, “For Whom the Bell Tolls,” at some of our weak sister sites.  And by “weak sister,” I’m talking prison slang and I mean ESPN.  I moved Bell down one whole spot.  I’m not worried in March about someone who might get traded in July.  He will probably drop one or two spots each month until July.  If you get 23 saves, a 1.69 ERA, 1.08 WHIP, 42 Ks in 37 1/3 innings pre-All-Star Break, you’ll be mad you drafted him?  Bee tee dubya, those were his 1st half numbers last year.  Then who knows where he goes.  Maybe Lidge and Madson finally give Manuel a coronary and Bell takes over the closing duties in Philly as Victorino player-manages.  Or maybe Bell goes somewhere else.  You get the picture; it’s still early.  Don’t overestimate-slash-overthink-slash-overrate… Just don’t “over” anything.  Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The 2010 fantasy baseball rankings are just about in the bag, but first we look at the top 20 middle relievers for 2010 fantasy baseball.  No, next we’re not going to do the Top 20 Guys Who Will Have The Most Balks.  Chillax.  The only fantasy baseballers (<–my Mom’s term) that seem to pay attention to middle relievers are those that play in a Holds league.  That’s wrong, I tell ya.  A great way to balance out your ratios is by carrying a few middle relievers on your staff.  (BTW, Ron Jeremy can carry three middle relievers on his staff.)  Say you had James Shields last year and he mistook your team’s ERA for his toilet, but you also had Takashi Saito.  With just Shields, you had the 4.14 ERA dump to clean up.  With Saito and his brand new toilet brush, you had a 3.80 ERA.  If you also carried Matt Thornton, you had a combined 3.59 ERA.  Not to mention, you had 6 vulture saves.  Oh, and your WHIP went from Shields’s 1.41 to 1.28 and had an additional 139 Ks.  Middle relievers can also help balance out your junky closers.  Okay, school’s out, Alice Cooper.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 middle relievers for 2010 fantasy baseball:

1.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Our first look at closers for the 2010 fantasy baseball season, including some recent movees.  I already went over Billy Wagner to the Braves, Lindstrom to the Astros, Rafael Soriano to the Rays and Capps to the Nats.  Since then, Mike Gonzalez is a movee to Baltimore.  Bobby Cox was unable to get fully behind a lefty cl0ser, but that doesn’t mean Mike Gonzalez can’t find success with the Orioles.  The only major negative with Mike Gonzalez is I have to write out Mike Gonzalez’s entire name every time I mention Mike Gonzalez because it doesn’t sound right any other way.  It’s still real early in the preseason for closers.  Sometimes these battles aren’t decided until the last week of spring training (you still have time, Astros!).  So this is a like a Google Map of closers that might lead you down a road closed for construction.  Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’m done waiting for this trade to go official so here’s my unofficial take on Mike Lowell going to the Rangers and Max Ramirez going the other way.  Mike Lowell has one more hip surgery than my grandmother, but she’s dead so it’s an unfair competition.  She would’ve beat you, Mike Lowell!  Why I think the Rangers made this trade, besides obviously feeling the need to singlehandedly make the winter meetings interesting, is because the Rangers want to win.  They can smell the division crown.  They realize no team is winning if their 1st baseman is batting .200 and striking out 300-plus times.  Lowell is their insurance.  If Davis hits, great!  Then Lowell fills in 3 times a week at DH, 1B or 3B and Davis sees 400-450 ABs, remains a sleeper and lives up to his potential.  If Davis doesn’t hit, then Lowell swoops in and plays 4 to 5 days a week at 1st base and Davis goes onto the “When is he playing?” carousel and sees 250 ABs.  Davis, basically, needs to hit.  He’s capable of it.  Now let’s see him do it.  Anyway, here’s some more winter meetings news and their fantasy baseball implications:

Max Ramirez – It only took the Rangers about a year and half but they are finally down to a manageable number of catchers.  (If you wanna read what I said about all of their catchers last year, read how the Rangers thought catching wins championships.  Most of it still applies….

Please, blog, may I have some more?

In this month’s closer look, let’s discuss trading for closers.  Now before people think my battleship has sunk, I’m not saying to pay top dollar for closers.  But with us heading into July, it should be pretty clear how badly you need saves.  Luckily, saves are one of the categories (steals are another) where you can make up ground quickfast.  If you’re ten or more saves behind a pack of people and can gain three or more points with an additional closer or two, then you should be thinking about trading for a couple.   I’d look to trade one player from your strengths for two closers.  Think Shields for two donkey-corns.  Or a donkey-corn and a brain freeze.  It really depends on your strengths and weaknesses.  And since saves do come in bunches, if you’re finding yourself picking up plenty of ground in saves, then in August, you can trade away a closer or two for a different piece.  Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

In this month’s closer look, let’s discuss the value of middle relievers.  I’m a big Mr. B.  Depending on the team, I have various combinations of MRs.  On one team, I have C.J. Wilson still.  (Notched a Save and a Win in a doubleheader the other day — natch!)  On another team, I’m rocking Dan Meyer.  On another, Rafael Soriano.  Besides having a guy that could take over the closing duties, middle relievers help lower your starters’ ratios.  Mark DiFelice + James Shields = 7-4/3.01/1.15/74 or Jake Peavy, 5-5/3.67/1.13/84.  That’s right, the Frankenpitcher of Jark DiShields is beating the pure breed Jake Peavy.  So how’s dem apples?  Delicious!  Now in some cases, you just can’t hold a MR.  Whether you’re besieged by injuries, need to handcuff one of your closers or need a bench hitter, sometimes it’s just not feasible.  As much as I like MRs, they are invariably the first ones I drop on my teams when I need help somewhere else.  Luckily, there’s always one available on waivers.  If it’s not Jark DiShields, you can own Kiko Garzero or C.J.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

In this month’s closer look, let’s discuss some closer trading strategy.  As I mentioned the other day, I traded Street and some other closer for Haren.  This might’ve put me at a disadvantage for saves.  Now you’re probably thinking what the eff?  This doode doesn’t even know who he traded or if it put his team at a disadvantage for saves.  Well, that’s the whole point.  Saves are the easiest commodity to acquire on waivers.  Just last month, 10 closers lost their jobs, even if just temporarily.  10 out of 30 closers.  So, frankly, I don’t care if I’m trading Qualls, Bell or schmohawk closer behind door number 3.  Are some of these guys more reliable than others?  Sure, but that doesn’t mean Jenks couldn’t have a meltdown tomorrow.  They’re just closers.  As for not knowing if I’m at a disadvantage, it’s real early and plenty more saves will come into the league.  Not that many more Harens are coming into the league.  Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

A rejected title was, “BJ Stands For Blown Job.”  BJ Ryan was pronounced with a something-or-other injury to his something-or-other as he heads to the Disgraceful List.  A’la Lili Taylor in Say Anything, “JP Ricciardi lies…  He lies when he cries…”  Ever see anything like this?  JP Ricciardi always upgrades injury.  Slight arm trouble = end of year surgery.  God forbid Ricciardi ever says you need end of year surgery.  Scott Downs will take over the bulk of the saves, but Jason Frasor will be right there in the mix.  “Hey, Frasor, what are you doing there?”  “I’m in the mix!”  If someone in your league was quicker than you to grab Downs, grab Frasor.  Downs goes… Frasor!  Downs goes… Frasor!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Carlos Quentin – Left the game after getting hit on the hand.  Supposedly just a day-to-day thing.  Maybe Quentin could wear that forearm protector like Iron Mike Sharpe.

Please, blog, may I have some more?