Fantasy Baseball Advice

Last night, Dan Haren took the naysayers and said you know nay.  The line was 9 IP, 0 ER, 4 hits, no walks and 14 strikeouts, and, note to Scherzer, he managed 13 other outs.  Good thing Haren and Pujols started clicking before the trade deadline, Arte Moreno was seen buying some leftover Vegas hotel dynamite and about to give the big poof you to the Anaheim Angels Of A 40 Minute Commute From Los Angeles.  Haren showed great command and movement last night even though his velocity’s been down.  I’d still bet a season ERA above 3.50, unless Haren’s traded every fifth day to the team facing the Mariners.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Albert Pujols – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and a slam & legs.  What, horsemeat?  Al-Pu is made of 100% ground chuck, baby!  24 more days in a row like this, and we’re good.

Austin Jackson – While he mends his strained abdominal — he’s the Abdominal Strainman! — Quintin Berry should see some time in Jackson’s stead.  Yesterday, he went 1-for-3.  Too bad Quintin Berry doesn’t play for the Royals.  Or that his name isn’t Dan with the middle name Quintin.  You’re still alive in our hearts, Quiz!  I’m gonna eat a submarine sandwich for you.  Berry likes to run.  In fact, I’ll call him, HeRun.  In Triple-A, he had 19 steals in 39 games.  In AL-Only leagues, HeRun isn’t much more than a flyer for speed.  The darker the Berry, the sweeter the SAGNOF!  In mixed leagues, you can do better.  Look at me showing confidence in you.  I’m like your Dad on opposite day.

Justin Verlander – 8 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks vs. Justin Masterson (7 IP, 1 ER, 10 baserunners, 4 Ks.)  It was a game that was all about Justin your instincts.  Sorry, my pun muscle is a little Justy.  Must be because I’ve been fencing at my gym rather than joustin’.  For Masterson, it’s all about adJustin’.  Or re-adJustin, if you dropped him.  His luck shows a guy that was dealing with a bit of injustice.  Is he the meow’s cat?  Nah, that’s unJustinfied.  He could be a back end starter on deeper mixed leagues without an unJustinly amount of Ks.  Not remotely Verlander though, he’s the master, son.

Shin-Soo Choo – Hitting leadoff seems to be working for Choo as he hit his 3rd HR of the year off Verlander.  He’ll probably find a way to go 20/20 out of sheer habit like Bobby Abreu used to.  In a lot of superficial ways (decent stats, kind of boring), these two seem really similar.  Maybe we’ll start calling Shin-Soo-Kabrechu.

John Danks – To the DL with left shoulder soreness.  That might explain why he’s been terrible.  In fact, maybe it’s been lingering since 2010.

Alex Rios – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 2nd homer in as many games.  If an impatient owner (like me) stupidly (still me) dropped him (that’s what I did), I’d grab him.

Dayan Viciedo – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 1 RBI and his 8th homer.  If you’re gonna own him, it looks like there’s going to be 0-for-24 slumps scattered amongst his homers.

Brian McCann – Out for the third straight day.  Sounds like he caught something.

Michael Bourn – 1-for-4 as he homered again yesterday for his third in the series.  This gives me an idea.  How about all players that weigh 170 pounds and under can use an aluminum bat?  Then before each AB, players can weigh-in like a wrestling match.  “Too many sunflowers seeds, Bourjos, grab some wood!”  “Prince Fielder’s out for two weeks for Lap-Band surgery, but when he returns watch out!” and finally “Juan Pierre homers!”

Randall Delgado – 5 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 10 baserunners, 4 Ks.  Looked a lot better than his line indicates, but even if your league has an “Appearances” category, I’m not sure this is what they have in mind.

Juan Francisco – 1-for-4 and 5th homer as he played third base for Chipper, who the Reds honored during their pregame show because it was the last time he’d be playing in Cincy.  Classy move as they gave Chipper an artificial hip.

Homer Bailey – 6 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks.  There should be a Vegas bet where you bet whether Bailey will go 6 innings and give up 2 earned or if he’ll go less than 4 innings and give up four plus runs.  Those seem like the only lines he ever gives.

Logan Ondrusek – Got his second save last night because Aroldis had worked the night before.  I wouldn’t own the whole Reds’ bullpen, but this could be a semi-frequent occurrence.  Dusty hates fantasy baseballers (<–my mom’s term!).

Devin Mesoraco – 1-for-3 with a grand slam.  Thursdays are a fun day for 2 catcher leagues, huh?

Yadier Molina – 4-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 6th homer.  The best of the Flying Molina Brothers came out yesterday — Alfred Molina, “Excuse me, I could catch AND do improvisation theater.”  Yadier had been like half a mummy since his oven-roasted April, but this could be a sign he’s turning it on again, facing Blanton certainly didn’t hurt.

David Freese – 2-for-5, 3 runs, 2 RBIs.  Another guy that took a fortnight siesta, but his bat woke up on Wednesday and now has two homers in the last two games.

Ty Wiggington – 3-for-5, 3 runs, 2 RBIs and a homer.  I’d say he’s going to be in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell, but he won’t.  He’s here now.  Wiggy rarely hits just one and done, and he’s probably out there in a ton of leagues, so if you need a little HBI (Hot Bat Injection), go for it.

Carlos Ruiz – 3-for-5, now hitting .366.  Elsewhere, Konerko homered and went 2-for-4 to raise his average to .384, David Wright homered and raised his average to .405, and Tony Gwynn just hit 415 on the scale.

Austin Kearns – His hamstring injury could mean Gaby Sanchez’s return from Triple-A on the first day he’s eligible, which also happens to be the day the Marlins are giving away Gaby t-shirts to the first 15,000 fans.  That’s like breaking up with your girlfriend on February 13th and getting back together on February 15th.  Anthony Rizzo may want to consider having 15,000 Rizzo t-shirts given away on June 1st.

Anibal Sanchez – 5 1/3 IP, 5 ER, 9 baserunners, 7 Ks.  Such a frustrating start.  Pagan drove in three runs on broken bat hits, a botched rundown that could’ve wiped out one run, a passed ball that was ruled a wild pitch was another run, a blooper by Belt for another run… Basically, Anibal gave up one well hit ball.

Emilio Bonifacio – Who has one good thumb and likes to steal bases?  This Bonifacio!  Looks like Emilio won’t be throwing any air punches for the next four to six weeks.

Omar Infante – 4-for-5, 2 runs and 2 steals, batting .340.  Bonifacio who?!  Emilio.  I know, Random Italicized Voice, it’s an expression.  ‘Bonifacio who’ is an expression?  Forget it.

Melky Cabrera – 3-for-5, 3 runs, 4 RBIs and a steal.  If there’s anyone out there who believes Melky is a .362 hitter, I’d sell him Melky and anything else you got lying around the house that you might not want.

Joe Mauer – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 1 RBI as he homered yesterday.  Hey, does he weigh under 170 pounds?

Justin Morneau – 3-for-5, 3 runs, 3 RBIs, 2 homers and third in three games.  Justin the nick of time!… Okay, I’m done.  Morneau should be owned, shoot, he’s doing better than Ryan Zimmerman. (<–saying nothing!)

Ike Davis – Mets told Ike he definitely won’t be going to the minors.  They had one of their doctors tell him though, since they’re never accurate.  Yesterday, he sat for Veal Rottino.  At least that’s what I think the V. stood for in the box score.

Jeremy Hefner – 3 2/3 IP, 6 ER.  No grotto for you tonight!

Will Venable – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs.  What’s this week’s Creeper not doing?  You should thank FtA for the tip of the week.

Eric Stults – 5 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 2 Ks.  You know who really appreciated this performance?  Peter Bogdanovich.

Everth Cabrera – 4-for-5, 2 runs and EverCab got the Heartspark Stealsign.  Honestly, I think this is more hits than he had combined over his entire career.

Yoenis Cespedes – Changing his bat grip so he can return from the DL.  He used to nestle the knob, which might’ve caused the muscle strain.  I’d say!  Nestling knobs in the palm of your hand?  That’s the kind of thing you want to keep on the DL, Yoenis.  In related news, Brian Dozier is upset Thome is no longer in Minnesota as his dream growing up was to play with his Jimmy and the Twins.

I hate guys that are injured before the season even starts.  I should’ve emphasized that more in the preseason.  I should’ve followed my gut on that with Stanton too.  At least Stanton can play through the nagging pain (hopefully), on the other hand, Mike Morse is shut down for 6 weeks and he has a history of injuries.  (Can you tell I’m still reeling a bit on the Stanton news?  It’s like a teenage love…Don’t…Don’t hurt me again…) As for Morse, he was a former roider (RIP, Lyle Alzado, I don’t know football, but I enjoyed your random guest spots on bad 80′s TV shows) and they say that tends to break down a player’s body.  It’s all very sad (actually, I’m still thinking about Stanton; don’t worry, I’ll move on by Monday).  I don’t think this moves up Bryce Harper’s ETA. (Doesn’t ETA always make you think of business-speak by people who do jobs that you don’t understand even after they explain them?  “I’m a marketing consultant for our foreign sales team.”  You’re making up a job and you hide in a cubicle.  Why don’t I have one of those jobs?)  I think you should lower your expectations for Morse to 17 homers and 90 games played.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Sike!  Before we get into the roundup, just wanted to say you should sign up for the Draft Day freeroll.  What’s a freeroll?  Honestly, I have no clue.  I think it’s, like, a season of fantasy baseball in one day.  “But I want players to annoy me for 162 games!”  I know, but it’s free and Rudy did it last week and had fun, so I guess there’s no harm in it.  You can win some cold hard cash and get yourself a $12 salad!  The cut off is Saturday at 1:05 PM EST.  Anyway II, here’s the roundup:

Mat Latos – 5 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 1 K.  He didn’t pitch incredibly well (1 K — belch), but he only had one bad inning, which was because Ryan Ludwick is playing the outfield instead of Heisey.  Ludwick barely moved over to get a Gio Gonzalez blooper that started the inning where Latos gave up two earned.  Get Ludwick out of there and play The Juice Box (Heisey — Hi-C — The Juice Box — what?).  Juice Box!  Juice Box!  Juice Box!

Ryan Ludwick – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs.  Why is he playing?  He’s batting .133.  We need to see more? Okay, .240 and 18 homers, that’s more if he plays the whole season.  Who cares?  Dusty, take the toothpick out of your mouth and bench him!  (I’m only slightly annoyed at him because he drove in the two runs that cost me my Gio win, which was a whole nutter shizz show.  Zimmerman should’ve had that Ludwick grounder.  Get off your heels and dive!  How do I not get the win from Gio…Wait, not even there yet…)

Gio Gonzalez – 7 IP, 0 ER, 2 Hits, no walks, 7 Ks.  How do you not get this win?  Pick a closer — or just pick Henry Rodriguez — and let him close games!  Dive, Zimmerman!  Juice Box!  Juice Box!  Juice– Okay, Grey, breath… Being completely objective, the home plate ump had a nice strike zone and the Reds get pretty neutralized by lefties.  Gio still pitched a great game.  Though the no walks thing will be a rarity.

Anthony Rendon – Nats prospect fractured his left ankle and will miss a few months.  He was fitted for a walking boot, which Bryce Harper signed in pine tar, writing “wuz” instead of “was.”

David Wright – Was cleared to return to game action (if his finger doesn’t hurt him).  I put that second part in parentheses because that’s the part you leave off when you try to sell Wright to someone in your league.  It’s April.  If you’re the Mets, do you let your star 3rd baseman play with a broken finger or do you sit him for a month?  Okay, try and think about that again, but this time don’t pretend you’re the Mets.  Still same answer?  I had a different one.

Madison Bumgarner – 7 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 2 Ks.  Great game from the Bum, but why was he brought back out for the 8th inning?  He was over 100 pitches and he hit 3rd the previous inning.  He needed to face Tyler Colvin for 13 foul tips?  Colvin — singer/songwriter/fouler.  You’d think if anyone would be a fouler on that team, it’d be Dexter.

Brian Wilson – 1 IP, 1 ER.  Was far uglier than that, and I’m not talking about the beard.  Wilson loaded the bases, walked in a run, needed the trainer to come out because it looked like his arm was bothering him (was hard to see around Bochy’s head) and could barely find the plate even when he was getting hitters out.  I grabbed Casilla while the trainer was still on the mound.  Romo is the better arm, but Bochy seems to favor Casilla for saves.  Looking for the next big closer to go down, here ya go.

Francisco Liriano – 5 IP, 5 ER, 10 baserunners, 2 Ks.  Giving up 10 baserunners in 5 innings is bad enough, but the Liriano-Mauer battery ended up giving up 5 SBs in 5 innings to the Angels (whose team speed is not to be confused with the ’85 Cardinals).  In 134 IP last year, Liriano only was stolen on 9 times.  Is there any other part of his game that Liriano can regress for us — maybe bite his tongue when chewing on sunflower seeds?

Matt Capps – 1 IP, 2 ER and the save.  Almost had a Cappsizing.

Denard Span – 4-for-5, 1 run, 1 RBI and a steal.  Here’s a fun thing for Topps baseball cards.  They should do one of those novelty dual cards with Span and Billy Butler.  Have it titled, “Spanning the Globes,” and Span stands behind Butler cupping his moobs.

Joe Mauer/Justin Morneau – The M&M boys both homered in yesterday’s game against the Angels in Target Field.  The odds on that exacta were so tiny that, if anyone bought it, Scott Downs would’ve been bankrupted.  Just in case Downs got any ideas, someone made sure he couldn’t walk off the field.

Josh Willingham – 3-for-5 with his 4th homer of the year.  The Other White Meat is red hot.  That is all.

Lance Berkman – Has a small tear in his left calf.  A small tear on a calf?  That sounds like a Guatemalan harbinger of doom.  Berkman says he can return on Tuesday.  Not sure how someone of his age is going to be playing in less than a week with a muscle tear in his calf, and I don’t mean that like, “Hey, he’s going to be playing next Tuesday at 100% and I’m gonna be surprised.”  No, I meant it like, “He’s going to be at 75% and then need the DL at some point.”

Dan Haren – 5 IP, 9 H, 1 BB, 3 ER, 7 Ks against the Twinkies in Hubert H. Homerfree Retrodome with all the runs scoring on a 3-run HR by Mauer.  As Rudy mentioned on the Risky Pitcher post, Haren was heavily dependent on his cutter last year — wouldn’t be surprised if his April struggles (6.97 ERA) are a harbinger of Haren’s first non-borderline ace year in a long time.

Mark Trumbo – 2-for-4 with a slam & legs.  He’s going to be in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell.  It’s gonna be a doozie to end all doozies!

Carlos Pena - 2-for-3 with his 3rd homer.  Remember, he won’t stop hitting homers until around Monday, when he’ll go so ice cold you’ll be looking to chuck Pena.

Jeff Keppinger – 0-for-5 batting cleanup yet again for the Rays.  The Rays are so against giving Longoria any protection that they’ve disabled his home alarm system and are poking holes in his condoms.

Kyle Seager – 1-for-4, and a homer.  He’ll also be in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell.  I told you it’s got doozie written all over it.

Matt Garza – 8 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 9 Ks.  It’s an ExtravaGarza!

Drew Smyly -  4 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks.  He has very little experience as a professional, which doesn’t seem to stand in the way of the Tigers (see Porcello).  He looks like he has strikeout stuff, but as I tell my girlfriends, beware the small sample size.  I wouldn’t go near him outside of AL-Only leagues for the time being.  For now, Drew’s a consolation prize SP on his dad Guy’s game show.

Jed Lowrie – Should return from the DL on Friday.  Watch out rusty Astros lineup, here comes your booster shot!

Zack Greinke – 3.2 IP, 8 ER, 10 baserunners, 5 Ks.  We love Greinke, but this gave us bad flashbacks to his infamous “Greink’d” moments prior to his Cy Young year.  Hopefully next outing he’ll be able to put away batters when he gets to 2 strikes.  If I were the type to calculate xFIP and not just read it at other sites, I’d say Greinke was hella unlucky yesterday.  Then I’d fist bump someone and explode my fist, or something equally douchey that is done by people that say hella.

Jamie Moyer – The last remaining Leftosaurus threw about as good a start as you can hope for him @COL (5.2 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners).  Pitching Moyer in the mile high air is like pitching Justin Verlander on the moon.

Grey and Rudy are letting me run a team for Razzball, and I’m totally pumped about it.  See, this is my first venture into the realm of expert leagues or writer’s leagues or whatever the hell you wanna call them and the pressure on a rookie like me is enormous.  Grey told me I can only cover White Sox prospects if I don’t finish in the top eight.  I feel like Andrew Luck or something… probably bigger than that, actually.  Anyway.  The auction happened a couple Thursdays ago and my strategy was simple:  don’t look stupid.  I’m not quite sure if I’ve succeeded in that regard.  You tell me.  Click here to see the complete auction results.

Format:  14 teams, mixed, roto, 5×5 – C, C, 1B, 2B, 3B, SS, CI, MI, OF, OF, OF, OF, OF, Util, SP, RP, P, P, P, P, P, P, P, BN, BN, BN, DL, DL, DL, DL, DL

C – Joe Mauer $14

C – John Buck $1

1B – Ike Davis $12

2B – Ian Kinsler $34

3B – Mark Reynolds $10

SS – Asdrubal Cabrera $14

MI – Daniel Murphy $4

CI – Mike Carp $3

OF – Ryan Braun $43

OF – Michael Bourn $23

OF – Yoenis Cespedes $7

OF – Carlos Beltran $7

OF – Nick Markakis $8

U – Colby Rasmus $3

–

SP – Matt Cain $20

RP – Joe Nathan $8

P – Stephen Strasburg $20

P – Matt Thornton $7

P – Ted Lilly $4

P – Justin Masterson $3

P – Colby Lewis $3

P – Edinson Volquez $4

P – Gavin Floyd $2

Bench – Sergio Romo $1

Bench – Phil Hughes $3

Bench – Vance Worley $2

My goal was to stay on budget.  I targeted a $180/$80 split between hitting and pitching and I ended up at $183/$77.  Not bad.  I also wanted to make sure I had some dough left near the end in order to ensure I could buy a few of my favorite sleepers for $2 or $3.  This plan backfired.  Not that I didn’t have money near the end – I had plenty – but rather, there was literally no one left who I wanted for two bucks.  That’s the reason you see purchases like Phil Hughes for $3 and Vance Worley for $2.  Spend it if you got it, right?  Hell yeah I’ll bid you up on an injured Mike Carp – I still have twelve bucks left to spend on three negative-value players.  No point in leaving dollars out there. 

Favorite Buys

I was pleased to get Braun at $43, especially when six guys – Tulo ($49), Miggy ($49), Kemp ($46), Bautista ($46), Pujols ($45), Cano ($44) – went for more.  I thought I got great value across my entire outfield, actually.  Beltran is a health risk, sure, but I’ll take on that risk for $7 – upside is worth twice that, at least.  I also love the flexibility Daniel Murphy provides in a deep CI/MI league like this.  I’ll take him for four bucks any day.

Least Favorite Buys

Ted Lilly and Mike Carp are on the DL and I spent a combined $7 on the two.  The league has five DL slots, so this isn’t a killer, but I’m certainly not thrilled.  I knew Lilly was having issues when I bought him, but I was hopeful he wouldn’t end up on the DL.  I’m also growing increasingly skeptical on Volquez.  He was one of those I’ve-got-a-lot-of-money-left-so-I-might-as-well-pay-for-the-upside guys near the end of the auction.

Most Important Thing To Note

This is just the beginning.  Drafting is certainly the most exciting component of the fantasy baseball season, but it’s not the most important.  Any winning team I’ve had in the past has been based on in-season management.  I enjoy the grind of the baseball season and I’m sure that by mid-season my team will look quite different from how it appears at this moment.  Of course, I’ve never been up against such a knowledgeable group of competitors.  I’m looking forward to see how my skills stack up.  I’ll be sure to keep you posted.

First off, you can thank Keanu Reeves for the idea of this post.  I somehow watched the entirety of Little Buddha a long time ago and one line truly comes back to me from that movie over and over again when I begin ranking players for myself or trying to find value in drafts or in trade targets: The path is in the middle way.  The line can be seen at about the 3:00 mark here in all it’s hairy, emaciated Keanu glory.  It’s a reminder that baseball, much like life, takes a long time to play out.  A player isn’t proven bad or good by a week, a month, or even a year of play.  Underlying skill sets can be reached or breached to the over or under but it still does not change the underlying player themselves.  Now snatch these pebbles from my hand, young grasshopper and we’ll begin the article…no I said from my hand, grasshopper.  Unless of course I’ve somehow stumbled into the doctor’s office and need to turn my head and cough.  If so, my insurance better cover this.  Cue abrupt and awkward segue!

To delve into this philosophy, let’s look at a career .258 hitter in Dan Uggla.  Despite hitting 31 HRs in 2009, he only hit .243 which had a drastic effect on his 2010 draft position.  Uggla was actually going outside of the top 100 on ESPN’s player rater and ranking 12th among second baseman behind such 2B studs as Asdrubal Cabrera (before he’d ever hit more than 10 HRs in a season) and Aaron Hill (who has pretty much done nothing since his 2009 explosion).    Uggla went on to post a career high in average at .287 to go with 33 HRs and 105 RBIs in 2010.  You can guess what that did to his rankings.  He was going in the 3rd round and was being ranked higher than Ian Kinsler.  Uggla went on to have the lowest BA of his career in 2011.  <sidebar> It was extremely hard to dig up that old info and I usually had to pull it from other websites referencing their rankings.  It’s like ESPN doesn’t want you to know how badly they rank guys season to season.  Meanwhile, Grey’s rankings are out there for the world to see from year to year.  Funny that. <sidebar/end>

The whole point of that blast from fantasy baseball years past was to point out Uggla is who he is and has always been, regardless of what the numbers tell you.  Guess what his average has been since the start of 2009?  No, it hasn’t been .258, that just would’ve been so creepily perfect to the point that it was a lie.  It’s been about .254, in line with his career average.  He’s going in the 5th round or close to Brandon Phillips at this point.  It still leaves him underrated for 2012 in my book, but is a lot more reasonable than taking him ahead of Kinsler or outside the top 100.  If people had chosen the path of the middle way, there wouldn’t be a slice of unbridled enthusiasm for a good average to go between two pieces of pandemonium over a bad average and I wouldn’t be serving you this extremely messy allegory sandwich (with a hint of Wyld Stallyns).  Holding this in mind stops you from buying into ‘Joe Mauer in the first round’ hype in 2010 or sleeping on Matt Kemp in 2011.  Aiming for the middle way makes it easier to know a true value play when you see it, whether it’s via trade or in the draft and keeps you from going all Dennis Green on yourself.  Most times, a player is who you thought they were.  Draft and trade accordingly.  Or crown your ass.  Your choice.

Let me preface this post with some no holds barred truth:  I hate catchers.  I don’t just hate them, I deep down inside loathe them so realize how painful this post is going to be.  I’m going to offer you a strategy that is palatable but realize I’ll likely not follow it.  The first catcher I’ll be drafting will go in a round after 18 in my league.  I just don’t put much faith in drafting high on a position that you’re not going to get 150 games out of.  Last I checked, Buster Posey and Joe Mauer were going to light the world on fire last year.  They combined to play 127 games total for 2011.  In my league – which is also a keeper – the one team that made the playoffs with his keeper Mauer traded him for spare parts by the All-Star Break and the Posey keeper finished 8th.  Relying on Catcher numbers is something I refuse to do.  Compromise you say?  Alright, I could talk myself into taking Yadier Molina as my first catcher off the board in the 15th round and round that out with a Russell Martin chaser in the 21st.  Molina should balance out Martin’s BA drain and Russell provides the pop.  Plus you’ll get a sneaky 10 to 15 SB from your Catcher position.  See what happens when you compromise?  No one is happy!

I’ll Avoid:

Any Catcher taken in the first 10 Rounds – You think I’m going to change my principles after how I started this post?  Tigga Please!  If somehow any of those guys fell outside of the first 10 rounds, I’d jump all over them but until then, I’m busy, don’t bother me.

Devin Mesoraco – But, but, he’s going after the 20th round!  Consider this the Dusty Baker Rule.  Devin needs to be one of two things to start for Dusty: A wily veteran or a pitcher.  I don’t care what pitcher, Dusty will find a way to have you throw 300 innings.  There’s already talk that Hanigan is the man in Cincy and my bet is the best case scenario for Devin is that no one wins and he and Ryan Hanigan split the season ABs.  I don’t mind platoons with upside but Baker pretty much Debbie Downer’s this one for me.

I’ll go for:

Salvador Perez – Rumor has it that Salvador used to sit with a spoon in his hand hovering over a metal pan and would fall asleep.  When the spoon hit the pan, he’d wake up from the sound and be inspired to make acid flashback-like paintings.  What does a story about Dali have to do with Perez, you ask?  Absolutely nothing, I just don’t like Catchers and felt like talking about something else.  Like seemingly every Royals prospect, he has a low walk rate but a low strikeout rate as well.  He should help you in average with 10 HR power.  I shall call him mini Molina.  No, not the slow Molina.  The Molina I talked about earlier, Yadier.

Ryan Doumit – I am just as stunned as you are to be writing a post about this guy.  But go look at Mauer’s 2011 line and Doumit’s.  Go on, look!  Ok, I’ll ruin the surprise.  They both played around 80 games and hit for a decent average.  I don’t think Doumit will hit .300 this year but .275 with 15 HRs is not unreasonable.  Couple that with him going into the season as the de facto team DH and Doumit might actually stay healthy enough to deliver on that promise.  And if he doesn’t, well I curse at him using his last name in vain and move on.  Its a better feeling than yelling ‘Mauer!’ after your 8th round pick goes down.  One sounds like a curse word while the other leaves you sounding like you have Tourettes.

C Situation to Monitor: Chi-Sox

A.J. Pierzynski is a decent Catcher.  He doesn’t blow you away at any spot in his line, but doesn’t really hurt  you either.  He’s also 35 years old which in catcher’s years is closer to fossilized.  Meanwhile, Tyler Flowers came up in 2011 for a brief stint and set the world on fire (looks back at stats).  Woah, Tyler did terrible!  Draft A.J.!  The thing is the Sox are in rebuild mode and if a contending team loses their starting catcher for the year or need help at the position, I can’t see how the Sox don’t make A.J. available.  If that happens, get ready to watch Flowers bloom…I can’t believe I just typed that.  Anyways, his K rate is atrocious and will lead to a poor BA, but he walks at a healthy clip and his ISO shows he’s good for 17 to 20 HRs given a decent amount of at-bats.  If you’re willing to draft J.P. Arencibia, you shouldn’t have any problem putting Tyler on your radar.