Matt Holliday sat out yesterday with a hand-thinga-ma-injury — a tendon or a ligament. Sounds like he’s going to miss the rest of the season, but for right now he’s only out for four (stutterer!) to five days. I’ll tell you what I’m not gonna miss…. Matt Holliday. A .295 average, 1 steal and 22 homers? You know what that is? A good season for Andre Ethier. It’s not a good season for Matt Holliday. Matt Holliday does more than that. At least in my mind. I’m not in your mind so that’s all I have to go on. On the bright side, this injury didn’t cost a moth their life. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Randall Delgado – 5 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks. When it comes to pitchers, the Braves are like a cyclops with a monocle. I kinda want to own all Braves pitchers in keeper leagues. Wrap me up in a big ball of Hanson, Minor, Beachy, Delgado, Vizcaino, Teheran and Kimbrel and put me in Leo Mazzone’s lap and rock me to sleep.
Craig Kimbrel – Recorded his 44th save. Now has 1.73 ERA, 0.99 WHIP and 120 Ks. Member early in the season when you wanted to drop him? Oh, you.
Alex Gonzalez – 2-for-3 with a homer. After his 3-for-4 game on Monday, I was gonna mention how he binges on hits from time to time. Well, I didn’t, but should’ve. He’s now 8 for his last 11. A’la Dave Hester, yuuuuuuuup!
Edwin Jackson – 6 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 5 Ks. He’s gonna be in this afternoon’s borderline starter post only because he’s unowned in far too many leagues. He hasn’t had a bad start in a month and a half. His season ERA is 3.71. Gallardo’s ERA is 3.66.
Rafael Furcal – Left the game with a strained left knee. Furcal looks like a utility man with more name value, a futility man.
Derrek Lee – 3-for-4, coming a day after a homer. Sure, his name anagrams to Elder Reek, but you’re not picking up the tab for his Early Bird Specials, you’re just picking him up.
Ben Revere – Stole three bases yesterday, now has 4 steals in the last two games. Revere, “The steals are coming, the steals are coming!”
Michael Cuddyer – 2-for-3 with a steal. He hasn’t hit a homer since August 3rd and is three for September, batting .120. My best edumacated guess is his wrist is bothering him. His Wrist, “I don’t appreciate the accusation.”
Johnny Cueto – Left yesterday’s game with a strained lat. On the negative side of things, he’s probably done for the year. On the bright side, all of his owners avoided his regression the entire season and he ends the year with a 2.31 ERA. Be fun to watch Murray Chass draft him on all his fantasy teams next year.
Juan Francisco – 2-for-4 and his first steal. Okay, I’ll stop with the Francisco love. It’s like I’m seeing a double rainbow.
Chris Heisey – 2-for-4 with his 16th homer. On a related note, the Reds excite me for next year. Think about Yonder, Mesoraco, Cozart, Franciso and Frazier with Dusty figuring out how to get Edgar Renteria into the lineup. If that doesn’t get your blood pumping, check your pulse. You might be dead, but then I’d wonder how you’re reading this. Maybe from now on I should address everyone as, “Guys, three girls and one zombie reader.”
Clayton Kershaw – 5 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 5 Ks and the umpire ejected him for grazing Parra’s elbow. He could throw a bloody ax at Parra and he shouldn’t be ejected when he’s vying for a Cy Young and throwing a one-hitter. That’s it, all umpires should be replaced with robots.
Matt Wieters – Third straight game with a homer, now has 20 homers. Do you see how quickly a catcher can make his season palpable? You Ron Popeil your catcher and set him and forget him.
Jim Johnson – Earned the Orioles 4th straight save. Okay, I get it; you’re the closer.
Nolan Reimold – Him and Chris Davis both hit a homer yesterday. The Orioles should trade for Ian Stewart so all my past hopes and dreams can be in one place.
Mark Ellis – 4-for-5, 2 runs, 1 RBI and a steal. Potatoes to chips, he also has 2 homers in the past week.
Joakim Soria – Has a stiff hamstring and is day-to-day. Yesterday, Greg Holland went Dutch on the 9th inning with Tim Collins, but ended up with the save. To preemptively answer your question, I’d take Jim Johnson before Holland.
Adrian Gonzalez – Hit his 26th homer then left the game with a tight calf, which is less offensive than a loose cow.
Matt Moore – 1 1/3 IP, 2 ER. The top prospect came into the game and did a lot of nothing. Means absolutely nothing, but here’s the number one reason why this late in the season I avoid top prospects in redraft leagues. It’s not worth the hype.
Alejandro De Aza – 2-for-3 and his 3rd steal in the last 4 games. On a semi-related note, the White Sox outfield yesterday was Pierre, Rios and De Aza. I get the feeling by the end of the year Ozzie’s going to kill someone.
Mark Trumbo – 2-for-4 with the slam & legs. That’s now 27 homers and 9 steals. Not completely surprising with the steals, Scioscia likes to run. “You can’t pitch around moxie! Moxie doesn’t go through slumps!” That’s Scioscia. But with all that in mind, don’t see why Bourjos doesn’t have 40 steals. Next year he will.
Cameron Maybin – 0-for-3 with his 36th steal. I’m not sure what’s sadder, that Maybin’s batting third or that it makes sense that he’s batting third.
Brad Peacock – 5 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 2 Ks. The understaffed Nats showed off their Peacock. Pun point! He’s actually been great in the minors with a solid K-rate and a 2.39 ERA between Double and Triple-A, but a rookie on the Nats…Eh, I’m avoiding for this year in mixed leagues. In NL-Only, you obviously do what you do. Also, he was listed in the top 50 fantasy baseball prospects post.
Lonnie Chisenhall – Homered yesterday. If you feel like you’ve heard that before recently, it’s because you have. He’s homered four times in the last week.
Brian Wilson – Threw a bullpen session yesterday and it looks like he might see some game action before the end of the season. His fantasy owners and beard enthusiasts wait with bated breath and rugged looks.
Carlos Beltran – 2-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 19th and 20th round trippers. No relation to Jack.
Santiago Casilla – Got his third save yesterday. Romo still hasn’t gotten one since he returned from the DL. Cust kayin’.
Justin Smoak – Left the game with a groin strain. This Justin, Smoak might be out for the season.
Derek Holland – 7 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners, 6 Ks. Two Hollands and one roundup! One should change their name to New Amsterdam. Holland scares me because of his occassional start where he’ll go 2 innings and give up 5 runs, but he has been solid in 8 of his last 10 starts.
Josh Willingham – 1-for-3 with his 26th homer. On Tuesday I said, “The Other White Meat now has 2 homers in his last 4 games. When he hits them, he hits them in bunches like Mr. Chiquita Banana.” And that’s me quoting me!
Brett Lawrie – Collided hard at the plate with Jason Varitek. That made for some interesting cinema Varitek. Lawrie could’ve just slid and avoided the whole thing, then Lawrie left the game with a knee contusion. #nahbuddy He looked fine after the collision. Not F-I-N-E fine, but fine. I’m not too worried, then again I don’t own him. Muahahahaha…Wait, is that maniacal laugh aimed at me or you? Hmm… Not sure.
Ricky Romero – 8 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks vs. the Sawx. I’m guessing the only fantasy owners with all 208 and a third innings from Romero are those that abandoned their teams in March. What a waste. Is there anything sadder than an abandoned team? You look at a team in last with Roy Halladay and you’re like, “Man, I wish I could get Halladay.” Well, now you can! There should be some kind of recycling program for abandoned teams. Every Tuesday and Thursday, ESPN, CBS or Yahoo goes through all of its teams that haven’t had any moves made in the last two weeks and puts those teams curbside for people to pick through. “Ooh, an Asdrubal Cabrera!” That’s you.
Alex Avila – Hit his 19th homer yesterday as he bats .301 on the year. Seriously, there’s a lot of catchers for next year.
Ryan Raburn – 1-for-2 with his 14th homer. Now has 2 homers in the last three games. It’s worth a looksie for power.
Roy Halladay – Threw a shutout in just over two hours. Rafael Palmeiro had erections for a longer time.
