Jose Bautista hit his 39th and 40th home runs last night.  As frequent commenter, VinWins, pointed out yesterday, in the Blue Kays last 162 games, Bautista has 50 homers.  Okay, I was way off with this guy, but Jose Bautista didn’t see this year coming.  His own mother doesn’t recognize him.  Every morning he wakes up wondering if the last five months were a dream.  This is the craziest home run year since Scooter McGillicuddy blasted 6 homers in 1901 while battling scurvy.  Bautista hadn’t hit 30 homers in the past two years combined in twice as many games.  His HR/FB% is nearly double his career mark.  His fly balls are through the roof, literally.  His Isolated Power is near Babe Ruth’s career mark.  The HR department thinks Bautista lied on his resume.  A mouth enters on the left side of the screen and says, “Im,” a mouth enters on the right side and says, “Probable.”  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Brandon Morrow – 6 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 12 Ks.  Hello, beautiful.  I hate AL East pitchers, but I might just own Morrow on all of my teams next year.  Right after, I draft Daniel Hudson.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

When Jim Edmonds was a trending topic on Twitter, I figured he died. Turns out he was just taking the Casino Bus to Cincy, though that might be a riverboat.  Edmonds will continue to be a part-timer, gaining no value.  Maybe one day he’ll garner 25% of a HOF vote and the interwebs will go abuzz with the travesty of it all.  But Jim Rice is in!  This is worst than season two of Lost!  Chris Dickerson goes to the Brewers, but you knew that.  You have the internet or you wouldn’t be reading this.  Dickerson is currently on the DL.  I like him.  In a career 401 ABs, Chris Dickerson has 8 homers and 19 steals with a .277 average and a .369 OBP.  In Triple-A this year, he had 3 homers and 6 steals in 43 ABs.  I say the Brewers should play him, but I don’t make those decisions.  Who is playing?  Lorenzo Cain.  In 331 ABs in Triple-A, Cain had 26 steals and a .402 OBP with a .317 average.  Yes, and thank you.  Carlos Gomez is due back at some point too, but he’s not good at, you know, baseball.  My guess is Cain and Dickerson, when healthy, will see some sort of platoon.  I’d grab Cain right now for speed, then wait to see how this dumbo pot gets stirred.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Drew Stubbs – If you thought his playing time would be squeezed by just sucking on the suckhole, you ain’t seen nothing yet.  Edmonds will definitely take time from Stubbs.  Heisey’s a better batter too (say that fast 45 times).  BTW, Stubbs and Carlos Gomez should be on the same team.  Unfortunately, it’s a track team, not a baseball one.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Now it’s time for everyone’s favorite game, Fantasy Baseball, Fun With Numbers.  Ding, ding, ding… Bassoon… Triangle!  Triangle!  Triangle!  Cow bell!  More cow bell!  One last ding.  In today’s installment of Fantasy Baseball, Fun With Numbers, we’re going to look at some outfielders and try to figure out if maybe the numbers tell a different story than their names tell.  Anyway, here’s the latest in Fantasy Baseball, Fun With Numbers:

Player A – Last season, 95/17/71/.303/29
Player B – Last season, 112/22/66/.280/12

Player A is Johnny Damon, Player B is Curtis Granderson

Player A – In 362 at-bats Pre-All Star, 50/4/39/.285/23
Player B – In 379 at-bats Pre-All Star, 50/5/31/.253/21

Player A is Alex Rios, Player B is Carlos Gomez

Player A – In 248 at-bats Post-All Star, 36/9/39/.278/9
Player B – In 268 at-bats Post-All Star, 46/9/25/.299/13

Player A is Krispie Young, Player B is Matt Kemp.

Please, blog, may I have some more?