If you found us from Google due to this title, you might want National Geographic or an African safari forum where discussion quickly turns into a story about how ‘your old lady doesn’t let you watch scary movies.’ Here, when we say our ‘old lady,’ we’re not using a euphemism for a wife. It’s for my fiancee. Gio Gonzalez had a throwback to the days of wine and roses. The wine being anything but Boone’s. The roses being McGowan. He went seven innings and didn’t give up a hit past the first inning with only 4 baserunners and 11 Ks vs. the Phils and Kyle Kendrick (7 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, 6 Ks). This was a battle between two teams you think are good offensively, but are not. The Bryceless Nats couldn’t score for Gonzalez and needed an Ian Desmond grand slam in the eleventh to win. This no decision was Gio’s 7th in his last 8 starts — c’mon, Gio, make up your mind. Or console yourself with a QS, Gio! This was a nice start after I had reservations about his falling K-rate and rising walk rate. Again, it was the Phils, so I wouldn’t just accept he’s back to last year’s tricks. It’s an illusion! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The afternoon started with Matt Harvey. He pitched a stellar 7 innings with 13 Ks, but Terry Collins sent him out there in the 8th after throwing 110 pitches, which lead to two singles and a walk, three runners that the bullpen let in. After the game, Collins said, “I felt bad for Duda (who blew a chance for a Harvey no-hitter by not covering first base on Heyward’s infield single). I couldn’t let Duda make the only Metsake of the game. I was going to keep pitching Harvey until he screwed up. He’d have started the nightcap, if necessary.” Fortch, it wasn’t necessary, as the nightcap brought on Zack Wheeler‘s debut with a line of 6 IP, 0 ER, 9 baserunners (5 BBs), 7 Ks. To summarize, it was shaky as all get-out at first. He looked like he couldn’t hit the broadside of Precious. Then he either calmed, or realized something — if he could locate, no one could hit him. He can easily be as good as Harvey, but I’m guessing it won’t be until next year. Last night was the best you could’ve hoped for. To summarize that summary, he was shaky, then solid. To summarize the summary’s summary, Zack good. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
R.A. Dickey will not be remembered for what he did before wearing a
Rangers, Brewers, Mariners, Twins, Met’s uniform. Nor will he ever be remembered for his mediocre fastball or equally mediocre changeup. He likely won’t be remembered for his scrumptious beard. (Actually, I have no proof of that. He *should* be remembered for his facial hair, since all beards are regal and spiffy in nature and form, but I will leave that in the capable hands of history.) No one will remember that he was born without an ulnar collateral ligament in his elbow. Or that he climbed Mount Kilimanjaro to raise money for awareness of human trafficking. Or even that he had been sexually abused as a child. While all these things are noteworthy, the truth of the matter is, he will most certainly always be remembered for throwing a very goofy pitch, and throwing it in a very special way. For baseball fans, like myself, who are enamored with such an unconventional baseball skill, this is still quite a special thing to be remembered for. Though we should at least try to remember the beard too.
Jeremy Hellickson threw a complete game yesterday giving up one earned run. Great, tremendous, gremendous! Hey, Rays, take out an ad in Variety for Hellickson for Rookie of the Year. The ad can flaunt a quote from Rays beat writer Roger Mooney saying, “Hellickson is the best rookie pitcher I’ve ever seen!” Rays blogger Jason Collette says, “He’s better than Melissa Leo!” A Tampa Bay area Hooters waitress, “And he’s a good tipper!” Last year, Hellickson threw a 155 2/3 innings. Usual bump from one year to the next for young pitchers is 30 innings. Back in the preseason, Buddy Holly Joe Maddon said Hellickson would be capped at 180 innings. That’s probably give or take five innings. Depending on whether or not Verducci shows up at Hellickson’s final start with disapproving eyes. Right now, Hellickson is sitting at 164 1/3 innings. Probably looking at three more starts for Hellickson. Make sure you keep that in mind in H2H leagues. Oh, and have a good Labor Day. I’ll leave you with this quote, “You’re laborers. You should be laboring. That’s what you get for not having an education.” Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Francisco Liriano – Unlikely to pitch again this year. If only this news came out in March.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jesus Guzman – Over 11 years ago, in 2000, when Guzman was 16, he signed a minor league deal with the Seattle Mariners. The Venezuelan wouldn’t see real minor league action until 2004, when he debuted at A+ ball. He acquitted himself quite well, going .310/.393/.443.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Logan Morrison was optioned to Triple-A New Orleans. Easy to say he was demoted because of his struggles since the All-Star break, but what fun would that be? He just started to hit again — 4 for his last 11 with a homer and steal. As Fredi Gonzalez and Dan Uggla before him, Logan’s run out of town by the Han-Man. Easily having his worst season, it’s pretty incredible the nerve Hanley has putting his full 5-hour energy drink towards getting rid of Morrison. Billy the Marlin would like to demonstrate the size of Hanley’s cojones. I imagine Logan won’t be down in New Orleans longer than a couple of weeks so don’t do anything rash in deep keeper leagues. Hopefully Morrison doesn’t take a bath in that French-influenced city. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Brian Wilson – Out with a back pain. A back issue sent him to the DL in April, so if this a recurrence it could be trouble with a capital beard. Romo would be the first option out of the bullpen but he has a tender elbow — I always prefer al dente. Next up, Affeldt, who’s voiced by Gilbert Gottfried, but he’s a lefty so the Giants might just go with matchups as they did yesterday turning to Ramon Ramirez aka Ram-Ram.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Mike Carp is hitting .350 since July 1st. (Thereabouts, I did the math in my head. At least I think it was my head. Hmm…) Carp only has 4 homers, but now has two homers in the last 4 games. He’s also hit in 11 straight games.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jason Heyward sat again yesterday in favor of Jose Constanza. I don’t want to shout fire in the theater of Razzball, but this isn’t good. Constanza is making Heyward look like the best seller at the jerk store. Actually, Heyward was kinda doing it to himself.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Tommy Hanson is having his next start pushed back. Well, it’s not official yet according to the Braves. But they read Razzball, so we’ll just say it’s official now. Even if Hanson’s next start isn’t pushed back, it should be. On Saturday he looked like Rocky Dennis trying on a fitted ball cap.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Derrek Lee went 2-for-4 with 3 RBIs and two homers as he continues to get medieval on pitching, which isn’t an old crack, though it could be. I appreciate the Pirates trying to make moves at the trading deadline, but their moves were kinda of the “We’re gonna make moves so it seems like we’re doing something, but we’re just gonna grab guys like Ludwick” variety. No one really thinks Ludwick and Lee were the vital pieces, right? As for the Indians, I thought they’d go the Ludwick-type trade route too, but they actually made much stronger moves. No, this doesn’t have much to do with fantasy, but we do still actually watch baseball, right? It’s not just a game played between the fantasy lines on your computer screen, is it? Now to begin the slideshow — sorry, thought I was writing that crizzap for Bleacher Report. What a POS content farm. Seriously, if I ever see Bleacher Report hanging out with eHow one night after a few daiquiris, it could get ugly. Wow, that was a huge aside.Please, blog, may I have some more?