Has there been any “sleeper” more hyped this season than Charlie Morton? It seems like we’re constantly being reminded of the spike in velocity, the swing and miss stuff, the combination of swinging strikes, and groundball rate. Knowing all this I was dying to profile Morton and see what all the noise is about. Speaking of Noise, my Pittsburgh scout, and favorite right testicle Dr. Kenneth Noisewater, has a basket full of hot takes on Morton, that mostly consist of different ways to say Charlie Morton sucks. Perhaps Noisey is right, perhaps all the lemmings in the fantasy industry are right. Much like the ATLiens that raised me to be an emotionally well adjusted gangster, I just stay in the middle and drop bombs, mostly in the toilet. I stay regular ladies and gents. Let’s take a closer look at this “new and improved” Charlie Morton, and see if it’s in fact a new recipe, or the same re-packed garbage.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Aloha from Clearwater Beach, Florida. I will be relaxing at the beach in this 90-degree weather today. I promise, I’m not trying to rub it in. The weather is starting to warm up as we approach summer, which means the balls will start flying out at a higher rate than they already are this season. Today’s lede has done a great job limiting home runs this season and I’m excited to see him deal today. I must say that I’m pleasantly surprised how good Eduardo Rodriguez has pitched this season. Rodriguez looks to make it 6 quality starts in a row today and he has a stellar matchup against a team with the 3rd highest K rate vs. left handed pitching. If you haven’t noticed I like using lefties in DFS, especially when the teams they are facing struggle at the plate against lefties. John Farrell has no problem letting Rodriguez eclipse 100 pitches as he’s done it on several occasions this season already. There appears to be no pitch limit for E-Rod, so if he gets off to a hot start today we could see a high K total in the box score. Today’s game is being played at O.co, which is smack dab middle of the road in home runs per game this season. Eduardo’s price tag is $17,600, which I consider a steal for his upside. Plug him into your lineups and lets win some money today!

New to FantasyDraft? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond?  Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.  Just be sure to sign up through us before jumping into the fray.  It’s how we know you care! 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Justin Smoak isn’t simply the hottest hitter in all of baseball.  No!  There’s more!  He’s hitting near-.400 in the last week with four homers.  But wait, there’s more!  Justin Smoak is the world’s first liquid smoke for a fantasy team.  Put Justin Smoak on your fantasy team and it instantly adds an unmistakable Smoak flavor.  Sick of bland boeuf Welington, try Justin Smoak!  Once you taste Justin Smoak, you’re gonna be like, “Now I know why those crazy Canadians measure everything in meat’ers!”  This Eve is not covering her naughty bits with a fig leaf, she’s wearing Smoak’d beef!  Justin Smoak adds such flavor to a fatty piece of old beef it now becomes lean and fresh, leaving our Spanish customers saying, “Si, newy!”  I don’t want to Bragg about our Liquid Aminos, but Justin Smoak can be added to real-live cows and they take on the unmistakeable smell of an ashtray!  All of this for the low, low price of a waiver wire pickup!  Justin Smoak is too good not to try!  (Awaiting FDA approval.)  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Is there anything better than baseball on a rainy Saturday afternoon? You can’t do any yard work, you know, because it’s pouring, so you settle into your favorite chair, crack a beer, and you’re whisked away to a place much warmer, and much sunnier. Here I sit, beer in hand, ready to watch this week’s test subject Royals righty Nate Karns vs the first place Baltimore Orioles. The journeymen starter is on his 4th organization in five seasons, and there’s two ways to look at this. Either Karns can’t keep a job, or he’s highly “in-demand” by multiple teams throughout the league. The truth lies somewhere in the middle, never good enough to lock-down a rotation spot, but also good enough to find opportunity year after year. So far Karns has been a good fit in Kansas City, making his 7th start today vs. a surprisingly mediocre Orioles offense, one that ranks in the bottom half of MLB in nearly every offensive category. So the home matchup vs. Baltimore is a good one, even if it’s a first place club he’s facing…. Here’s what I saw on Saturday.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

What’s up amigos?! Let me first say that if you’re reading this, thanks. I really appreciate the support, especially when we’re all recovering from too many Mother’s Day Mimosas. What!? Surely I’m not the only one that enjoys a little champagne and citrus juice occasionally, right? I’ll let you in on another Honcho secret: I like mine fruity! No comments please. Anyway, I’m back for another week of streaming fun and I’ve vacuumed out the sidecar on my new, American made motorbike. Won’t you join me? I love adventures, especially the kind that make you feel like you’re living on the edge. Like the time I challenged a few skateboard Yolo teens to a dance off after they made fun of my favorite pair of white New Balance shoes and sweet fanny pack. I’m straight savage at times. Kind of like now, when I recommend using Alex Meyer on the road against the Mets. Look, his numbers are far from sexy, but he tossed an absolute gem Sunday vs the Tigers (3 H, ER & 7 Ks) and I’m in love with his 98 mph fastball. If we’re being honest, the Mets offense has been underrated all season, despite the injuries. This suggestion probably seems crazy, but who cares! The Stream-o-Nator loves him in this start and I’m standing by my man, I mean…… robot. Maybe it’s their .166 ISO vs RHP, which ranks 17th in the league that the SON loves? Or perhaps the .314 wOBA and .406 SLG% which rank 19th & 20th respectively are making the bot all hot and bothered. Who knows, but what we can conclude is that the Mets are slightly below average against right-handers this season and that’s good enough for me. Also, he’s available in 99% of standard ESPN leagues, so he’s waiting to be scooped off the wire. Remember friends, the arms and bats I’m suggesting below are all owned in less than 50% of standard ESPN leagues and more importantly – are supplied with the assistance from the Stream-o-Nator and the Hitter-Tron. If you like what you see, take a leap of faith and purchase a subscription to any of the Razzball tools. You’ll thank me later.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hopefully everyone had a great Mother’s Day and if you were under a rock, this is your reminder to at least squeeze in a belated wish to all the Mother’s in your life.  Now that that’s out of the way, let’s talk about the aforementioned DFS Mourners Day.  Why am I referring to it as DFS Mourners Day?  Well to put it bluntly, today’s pitching slate is probably the worst set of starting pitchers that I’ve had the displeasure of writing about.  It’s comically bad.   I want to apologize ahead of time for the subpar schedule, but I’m really going to try and stay positive considering our limited options.   Unfortunately, my original lede, Carlos Carrasco is not in the mix tonight because of his early 6:10 PM start.  Note to the DFS and MLB schedulers: can you work together so we don’t run into these types of situations?  I mean, Mondays already suck enough as is.  At least with a decent DFS schedule and my stellar writing, we typically have something to look forward to, am I right?  With tonight’s starting pitching peaking at “questionable” (if that), we’re going to have to really dig into the offensive side of the game tonight.  The upside of having the highest priced pitcher – Brandon McCarthy – maxing out a pedestrian $17,700, meaning we’ll have a bunch of offensive cash to throw around.  Side note, I know he’s facing the Giants in SF tonight, but this is McCarthy’s first start off the DL and yet he’s still the highest priced pitcher?  That is the definition of slim pickins everyone.  It’s only the Best of the Worst for our Inaugural DFS Mourners Day.  Without further ado, I would like to announce the two SP’s Headlining our Mediocre Monday…….  I give you, Jesse Chavez, $15,000 vs the White Sox and Chase Anderson, $13,500 at the Padres.  Now please give me a minute or ten to collect my thoughts.  *Steps away from computer, goes down stairs to watch Derek Jeter’s number retirement ceremony, sits back at computer, reloads the rosters for today, triple checks (just in case there were some makeup games that possibly could have been missed), shakes head in defeat and continues post.*  Yay!  Chavez and Chase are going to dominate tonight!  These two studs…I mean, duds are going to kill it.  They’re both pitching in favorable pitcher parks against less than favorable offenses.  On DFS Mourners Day, we really couldn’t ask for a better pair of pitchers to roster if we tried.  Now that the worst is over, let’s figure out how to spend all this extra money on the offensive side…EDITOR’S NOTE: speaking of extra money, you got $5?  Yeah?  Wanna spend it on a better pitching slate than what we’ve got today?  Well hop into the Razzball Listener’s League tomorrow night and play against your most favorite and least favorite of your Razzball friends and frenemies.  Now back with the progrizzle…

New to FantasyDraft? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Something funky is going on in Denver. At the 2016 all-star break, Charlie Blackmon was a 30 year old OF sporting a career line of .292/.342/.446, good for a 99 wRC+. Since then, he’s been a .327/.375/.612 hitter, which has been good for a 140 wRC+. At the 2016 all-star break, Carlos Gonzalez was a 30 year old OF sporting a .297/.355/.541 line as a member of the Rockies, good for a 125 wRC+. Since then, he’s been a .252/.310/.403 “hitter”, which has been “good” for a 70 wRC+.

At some point during those 5 days right around the 2016 All-Star break, Charlie Blackmon tapped into some dark magic and cast a voodoo spell on Carlos Gonzalez, draining all of Cargo’s talent and keeping it for himself. Blackmon went from being an average-ish centerfielder with decent on-base skills to a legitimately good centerfielder who can hit for average and power. Poor Cargo went from a good power-hitting corner outfielder to a broken shell of a man who has been a liability since the 2016 All Star Break. Even Neifi Perez, the walking embodiment of an all-glove no-bat shortstop, managed to cobble together a .282/.313/.411 triple-slash line as a Rockie, and Cargo can’t even beat that right now! Poor Carlos Gonzalez. Meanwhile, Charlie Blackmon has become a legitimately great DFS hitting centerfielder who bats leadoff for a team playing half their games in Coors Field – mmmmm…tasty. As for how he’s done it, if my theory is correct (and this is a real, scientific theory), that means that Charlie Blackmon is a real life Shang Tsung, and I really don’t want to offend someone who can drain my soul, so please Mr. Blackmon, if you’re reading this, you’re my favorite player and your beard is awesome, although it’s not as good as this one, I still cannot lie.

On to the picks once Shang Tsung steals my soul…

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond?  Well be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.  Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Eric Thames went 2-for-3, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and hit two more homers (9, 10).  *does exaggerated yawn*  Justice Eric Ruth Thames is like, “Yeah, I had a harder time in Korea, ya’ll suck.”  Jer-Ru the Damaja is like, “The Sun Also Rises in the East, and sets in Milwaukee when I’m done hitting homers, goodnight.”  At this point, I’m surprised Justice didn’t hit, like, 80 homers a season in Korea.  Who got this guy out?  An NL team should sign that guy.  Or watch the Korean broadcasts of the games to see how they got him out, if for no other reason than the weird game show-like moments in-between innings when they’d have contestants try to find which part of the stadium is made of chocolate.  (I know this is Japanese, but it’s funny, so stop with your judging.  Leave that to the Justice!)

Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We’ve reached the end of the line for Cole Hamels‘ viability.  It happens to everyone.  Robert De Niro went from Meet the Fockers, a respectable comedic turn as Rex Reed likely said, to total garbage.  Maybe Hamels throws a couple of good games here and there, just as De Niro might have a scene or two here and there after the Fockers.  Silver Linings Playbook wasn’t all bad, but if you’re going to see a movie because of De Niro, you’re about to sit through crap that he did for money.  Hamels is heading out there with a 6-ish K/9 and starring in Last Vegas.  His xFIP and velocity look like Dirty Grandpa.  Hamels’ walk rate is still not right and you’ve walked into the wrong theater and now you’re watching The Intern and a grandmother is standing in front of the exit telling you to sit back down.  I want out!!!  Please God!!!  I would attempt to sell Hamels before it’s too late.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

In the 1700’s, magic meant going into an oven with raw meat and coming out wearing a hamburger as a hat.  That magic awed people, even though they had seen an oven and a hamburger before.  We’ve seen Thames before, and we’ve seen home runs before, but Eric Thames still feels like magic.  He is a modern day beef illusionist.  I will call him, David Copperfood.  Yesterday, Eric Thames went 3-for-4, 3 runs with his 7th homer, and 15th homer in the last four games, as he hits .405.  We go over Thames on the podcast that’s coming later today, but, damn, I wish I owned him everywhere.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?