Holy waiver wire! In a season full of devastating losses for the Boston Red Sox, Thursday’s 14-13 extra inning defeat ranks up there as 2012′s most devastatingest. After Alfredo Aceves blew the lead, giving up 5 ER on 6 hits including 2 home runs, the Sox star “slugger” Adrian Gonzalez struck out with a man on base to end the game.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Did you know that Vapors song, Turning Japanese, is about masturbation? Because when said act is done, a man squints, hence turning Japanese. Things that are offensive aren’t always racist, but, in this case, they are. Too bad The Vapors follow up single, “When I Really Have To Pee, I Dance Like A Cherokee” never climbed the charts.Please, blog, may I have some more?
We at Razzball realize that exporting our views across the country has damaging consequences on the blogosphere. To help make amends, we are reaching out to leading team blogs and featuring their locally blogged answers to pressing 2012 fantasy baseball questions regarding their team.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Twins aren’t winning. Twins haven’t won all year, actually. You can look it up. They’re 0-for-2011. But Ben Revere wants to steal bases for no reason. I love that. I’d prefer my fantasy players act selfishly and just try to inflate their own value.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Mike Moustakas was called up! No, he wasn’t! Yeah, he was, random italicized voice, why are you giving me a hard time? Keeping you honest. Since nothing’s changed since last time I went over him but the date, here’s what I said in the offseason, “Last year, he spent time at Double and Triple-A.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jorge de la Rosa left the third inning because of elbow soreness. I thought it sounded ominous at the time, but I also thought it might’ve been the older, Hispanic lady riding her bicycle passed my window chanting, “Flores para los muertos.” It turned out it was a combination of both.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ozzie said that Sergio Santos would be the closer vs. righties. That means Santos is just the closer closer. Or as close to it as we’re gonna get. I don’t know how much I believe this. Just the other day Ozzie said the White Sox had the best bullpen in the American League.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The man who looks like the man from Man Vs. Food’s father, Lance Berkman, is on a ginormous Kaiser roll. Speaking of pastry, it’s not a coincidence that Lance Berkman’s initials are LB. When he got to St. Louis, he asked the cabbie where the second arch is and why isn’t it painted gold.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Someone defrost Ted Williams’ head, Jed Lowrie is hitting .516. If Mickey Rooney were playing the part of Dice-K, he’d say Jed is so Lovrie. That’s if we can pull Rooney away from pooping in your neighbor’s chimney. Right now, Lowrie is seasoning up fantasy steaks something delicious, but can this continue?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Hey, Stephen here. Everyone, “Hey, Stephen!” In addition to my Wednesday afternoon look at prospects, through the incredible generosity of Rudy (nice fro!) and Grey (love the stache!), I’m going to write a Sunday post each week about players that are currently performing well in the minors and may get called up sooner than later that could help your fantasy baseball team.Please, blog, may I have some more?