The week 8 two-start landscape is particularly cruddy. Sure, if you’ve got a Kershaw- or Miller-type two-starter you’re set; you’re awesome. Good for you. Those of us perusing the wire for our two-starters, though, are left with mostly turds. It’s really bad. We have ten dudes in the “DON’T START” tier. Our previous high in that department was six, and that week is the only other with more than three in the bottom tier. Maybe I’m just in a pessimistic mood, but I truly don’t trust the bulk of the week 8 crop. Take it easy on the two-start streaming this week.

As always, probable pitchers are subject to change. For a look at all fantasy baseball streamers, click that link.

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Lance without an ACL isn’t NE good.  With a torn meniscus, Lance Berkman is only out for six to eight weeks.  “Hello, I’m Keith Morrison of Dateline.  Today’s story is about an aging vet.  A vet that the media began reporting as finished.  Done.  But where this vet saw the end, his knee saw just a setback.  Also, on tonight’s Dateline:  Can you get cancer from playing with your cat?”  Berkman and I haven’t always seen eye to eye.  Last year, he berated me in the comments for not believing in him, then disappeared this year when he wasn’t going well.  I hold no ill feelings towards him.  That competitive edge that drove him to compete also drove him to comment on our site.  Last year, A-Rod missed 6 weeks with a torn meniscus.  I’d put him and Berkman around the same level of gimpiness.  So Lance B.

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Evan Longoria is out for 6 to 8 weeks.  Let’s look on the bright side.  According to our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater, Longoria has been less valuable than Encarnacion and Aviles at 3rd base.  On the less bright side, those guys have been really, really good.  Okay, that bright side argument didn’t play out so well.  Let’s try again.  On the bright side, I told everyone to draft Longoria and drafted him myself, so you can point at me and say how screwed I am.  On the less bright side, if you’re reading this, there’s a chance you listened to me and drafted Longoria too.  Okay, last try.  In the 6 weeks he will miss, Longoria would’ve gave you around 8 homers and 30 RBIs with a .300 average.  You can get that off waivers from Pedro Alvarez or Chris Davis (if all those coins I just dumped into a wishing well mean anything).  Did I just try to convince myself that Pedro Alvarez was going to give me the same stats as Longoria?  Wow, glad I haven’t convinced myself anything dangerous like I can fly or I can heal Longoria’s torn hammy by kidnapping him and taking him to St.

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Every day that Justin Verlander starts, you know there’s a chance of a no-hitter.  You just expect it to be thrown by him and not another pitcher.  Guillermo Moscoso took a no-hitter into the 8th inning against the Royals and finished with 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 4 Ks in 8 2/3 IP.  He now has 8 wins in 18 starts which is as many wins as Brett Anderson, Dallas Braden, and Rich Harden managed this year combined.  Everything about Moscoso’s year screams fluke.  His 3.63 ERA / 1.14 WHIP does not gel with 5 K/9 and 3 BB/9.  But as an owner of this guy in my AL-only league, all I can say is this guy has been money against bad to average teams.  He’s had 4 ugly starts – @BOS, @TAM, @DET, and home against TAM.  His home WHIP is now under 1.00 in over 60 innings.  His road WHIP is 1.44.  There’s not much time left this season but if he has a start against a bad-to-average team at home – I’d go-go for Moscoso.

Please, blog, may I have some more?