Fantasy Baseball Advice

Edinson Volquez left the game after the 1st inning.  Hey, that Edinson-Josh Hamilton trade looks pretty even again, huh?  Volquez was complaining of finger numbness.  Was it cold?  Maybe he can pitch wearing mittens.  If it’s finger numbness from non-weather related reasons, it’s not a good sign.  I wouldn’t be surprised if Volquez ends up back on the DL.  Okay, here’s a pretty general thing that generally applies (ain’t that something?), a pitcher is suffering from anything to do with his throwing arm?  You want out.  Let someone else deal with the agita that comes with a pitcher dealing with arm issues.  Kazmir, Ervin, Baker, etc.  I’ll probably be touting you to draft them all next year.  I wouldn’t go near any of them this year, unless the deal was ridiculously lopsided.  Obviously, Volquez has more value than the other three schmohawks I mentioned, but be wary.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Grady Sizemore – News hasn’t gotten better.  If rest on the DL doesn’t heal his elbow, he’ll need surgery and will be out at least 6 weeks.  I’d say you’d be lucky to get a decent September out of him, if surgery’s necessary.

Chad Qualls – Over the weekend, Mark Grace, the Diamondbacks color man, said that Qualls was experiencing forearm pain.  (This info was supplied by one of our commenters.  In other words, if it’s incorrect, I wash my hands of it.)  Yesterday, Tony Pena got the save.  Pena definitely has closer stuff, but I think Rauch, or even Juan Gutierrez will see time as the closer.  With Pena getting the first opportunity, he should be the first guy you pickup.  I’d pick them up Pena, Rauch then Gutierrez.  Hike up your waiver wire skirts, save whores.

Hiroki Kuroda – 5 IP, 2 ER, 6 Ks.  Back from his oblique injury… which is so obfuscatory!  Solid enough start for a third to fourth fantasy starter, which is what Kuroda is.  Remember, last year he led the league in being a FLAKE.  (A FLAKE is basically a pitcher who goes from excellent to unusable from start to start.  A FLAKE is also Manny Ramirez.)

Scott Hairston – 2-for-4, HR yesterday.  It’s the Age of Hairston!

Colby Rasmus – 3-for-4 with a home run.  Now batting .750 in June, but only one RBI.

J.J. Putz – 3 earned runs and is probably out as the setup man.  Parnell, Feliciano and Stokes should share duties.  Though not doodies, that would be weird.

Livan Hernandez – 5 2/3 IP, 3 ER.  Had a Win spoiled by the Mets bullpen.  He knows the feeling, he’s spoiled plenty of his own wins over the years.

Jack Wilson – Wilson, Adam LaRoche or McLouth, who has the highest average?  If you pulled a Brewster’s Millions and guessed none of the above, you wouldn’t be too far off.

Matt Capps – Got the save yesterday.  You can lose Grabow for now.

Carlos Beltran – 2nd day in a row his belly was bothering him.  Claire Danes sends her love.

Jeremy Sowers – 5 IP, 1 ER and 5 walks.  I wouldn’t pick him up with your team.

Roy Oswalt – 7 IP, 1 ER, 8 Ks.  Has owned the Rockies in his career, and the way the Rox are hitting right now, I could probably go six scoreless against them.  Their cleanup hitter was Atkins.  Somewhere Clint Hurdle derisively laughed.

Rich Hill – 7 IP, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks.  There’s two hitters batting over .300 on the M’s.  Ichiro, obviously, can you guess the other?  It’s not their 2nd, 3rd or 4th hitters, if that helps.

Rob Johnson – 933 OPS Mariners backstop?  Yeah, Jeff Clement.  He’s in the minors.  Rob Johnson has a 513 OPS.  That’s terrifically awful.

Mike Cameron/Ryan Braun – Cameron left the game in the 6th with knee irritation and Braun left early after fouling a ball off his leg.   The Brewers trainer said they’re both day-to-day, but he’ll be monitoring them closely now that he has so much free time without Weeks around.

John Baker – There’s a new Cristal Young in town and he’s catching for the Marlins.  He’s caught 8 out of 48 for a terrible .167 CS%.  It’s so bad… How bad is it?  Prince Fielder tried to steal yesterday.  Though he was caught inflating Baker’s numbers.

Gavin Floyd – 7 IP, 2 ER, 8 Ks.  Has now thrown three solid starts in a row.  I wouldn’t count on four.

Xavier Nady – Felt pain in his elbow during a throwing session.  I’m not sitting on this doode in any league.  Here’s the thing, he’s injury-prone and he plays in a lineup where he’s not even guaranteed time.  I guess if you’re only using a DL slot to hold him, it’s not that big of a deal, but I’d expect nothing and hope for something.

Joba Chamberlain – 8 IP, 2 ER, 5 Ks.  Is this Joba’s Mom or is this?  You make the call!

If you drafted Manny this year, then you better make a new plan, Stan because Man-Ram is getting time off for bad behavior.  50 games to be exact.  The reason – he came up positive for human chorionic gonadotropin, or HCG, which can be used to boost testosterone levels.  Manny seems to be claiming his doctor prescribed it for erectile dysfunction but the drug is most often prescribed for…women’s fertility.  Huh?  And here we thought Alyssa Milano was the only person in the LA Dodger clubhouse taking those.  Maybe Manny got screwed by a bad boner doctor but our money is on Scott Boras.  He probably gave those pills to Manny, told him they were Flintstone vitamins, and Manny hallucinated Flintstone faces onto the vitamins.

So what are the fantasy implications besides crying if you own him and picking from the FA scraps?  Juan Pierre is going to get the lion’s share of playing time in the outfield.  With Hudson and Ethier hitting so well at the top and Torre always going back to Furcali as his leadoff hitter, the only question is whether he bats Pierre 8th or 9th (tonight it was the 9th).  This is a pretty good move if you’re a Pierre owner as he’d get bunted over by the pitcher if he hit 8th but will steal from the 9th slot (got one today).  As for whether this affects the production of O-Dog and Andre Ethier, time will tell.  You’d have to think that O-Dog’s runs and Ethier’s RBIs are going to down because of this.  Interestingly, Torre moved up Ethier to #3 and hit Loney #4.  Our guess would be that he goes back to his beloved lefty/righty/lefty/righty order and separates Ethier and Loney with either Martin or Kemp.  Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Matt Cain – 6 IP, 1 Hit, 5 walks, 7 Ks.  His walks are up, his Ks are down, his homers are up.  None of this spells, “Yay.”  His BABIP is near his norms but his men left on base is higher than it’s been for the last couple of years.  His ERA is under 3 but it should be over 5.  Like Minnie Pearl, I’m going to give this to you plain and simple, he needs to cut down on his walks.  But it’s still early, Cain has time to correct his problems.

Randy Wolf – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 Ks. 3.59 ERA on the year and five consecutive no decisions.  Why can’t I get a win?  Who have I wronged? Was it the old lady who yelled at me in the post office calling me Prince Charles?  Cause if it was her, I’m sorry.  She was up next.  I just told her you’re up, I wasn’t rushing her!

Jordan Zimmermann – 6 IP, 6 ER, 4 Ks.  ‘nn settled down after being Kemp’d in the first.  Unfortunately, this takes some of the shine off of ‘nn so it’ll make it harder for you to flip him.

Joe Beimel – Vin Scully, “The Nats are without a closer so they’re trying out Beimel in the role.”  He said that as Beimel pitched the 8th in a four run game.  Of course he’s pitching the eighth!  It makes perfect sense.  I’m currently pulling my mustache hair out.

Joel Hanrahan – I think the old Nats closer becomes the new Nats closer, but remember the Nats have 3 saves on the season.

Kip Wells – One of the only closers who can come into an 11-7 game and ensure it’ll be a save opportunity.

Cla Meredith – Went to 4-0 with another vulture win yesterday.  He would be leading in Wins on all of my teams.  I hate Wins.

Mark Reynolds – 0-for-5 with 4 Ks to lower his average to .255 as Chris B. Davis hit his 7th homer going 2-for-4 to raise his average to .211.  Anyone wanna bet who gets to .230 first?

Brad Ziegler – 1/3 IP, 2 ER.  Andrew Bailey threw a scoreless two-thirds of an inning.  Cha-cha-cha-changes…

Brandon McCarthy – 4 IP, 7 ER.  Rudy got sonavabenched on his Fantasy Razzball team.  Oh… Poor Rudy.  I’m still in 2nd.  Natch!

Jack Cust – HR, strikeout… Wait, no walk? How dare you!

Jeremy Sowers – Replacing Laffey in the Indians rotation.  Look away, baby, look away.

Casey Kotchman – First homer of the season yesterday as he bats .313 on the season.  Might be startin’ somethin’.  Then again, the Braves are facing a lefty tomorrow.  Okay, Saturday’ll be startin’ somethin’.

Kendry Morales – In my series of “yawnstipating 1st baseman who won’t get drafted but should” posts, I targeted Morales.  He just hit his 5th homer.  I am Prince Charles!

Hanley Ramirez – 2 HRs yesterday.  For the longest time the ‘lins were threatening to put some reins on Hanley’s running.  He’s sitting on 3 steals and 4 caught stealings.

Derrek Lee – Sat out 2nd straight game but said the injury was “no big deal.”  Oh.  Okay.  Then how about you play?

Bengie Molina – 2 HRs and 4 RBIs yesterday.  Brings his totals to 7 HRs and 27 RBIs.  The rest of the Giants have 9 HRs and 84 RBIs.  Step away from the buffet, Molina, and let Fred get some grub.

Dexter Fowler – 0-for-3 yesterday and has been terrible since he lit Razzball aflame with his 5 steal game.  Icarus Fowler?

Jered Weaver – A complete game win with 8 Ks and 3 baserunners.  A HR by Aaron Hill spoiled the shutout.  Won’t be surprised if he ends up with 15 Wins, a 3.50 ERA, and 175 Ks.  As long as big bro Jeff doesn’t drive up north to teach him how to flatten his slider.

Jose Molina – Headed to the DL, joining Posada.  Bring back Yogi!

Mariano Rivera – Kazaam!

Evan Longoria – 2 HRs with 10 on the year and 38 RBIs.  I wrote a whole post on why Longoria should be a 2nd rounder?  I think he ends up with more value than Wright this year and for the next 10 years.

Mark Buehrle – 8 IP, 0 ER and is 5-0 on the year.  Maybe I should’ve drafted him in a league.  Back in my top 80 starters post, I wrote, “He’s not flashy with those Big City Ks. You probably won’t want to own him. But for the better part of two years, I’ve owned him off and on. He’s usually good for a few ‘worth-owning’ streaks a year.”  So far this year it’s obviously been one of those “worth-owning streaks.”

Armando Galarraga – 6 IP, 6 ER.  Yeah, this didn’t help convert me into a fan.

Ian Stewart – Hit a homer yesterday while playing 3rd.  Atkins is traded by the July deadline, you heard it here first.

Mike Napoli – Hit his 5th homer as he bats .328 on the season with 2 steals.  My preseason predictions were 55/23/65/.245/7.  From a catcher?  You kinda like that.

Brian Bannister – 6 IP, 0 ER, 7 Ks.  Still not buying in.

Jayson Nix – HR yesterday.  Why is the world conspiring against me?

Joakim Soria – Got the save, but gave up two hits, two walks and one run after giving up an unearned run his first time back.  I’d hold Juan Cruz for now if you have room.  And who doesn’t have room for Juan Cruz, he’s like a buck-twenty soaking wet.

Rick Ankiel – To the DL.  This boosts Rasmus’s value a bit (but he already had some value).

Rocco Baldelli – Nordberg returns from the DL.

Alex Rodriguez – Due back on Friday.  But don’t look here.  Look back at Manny.

Anibal Sanchez – Left game with shoulder discomfort.  Not good, home slice.  But neither are any of his stats.

Clete Thomas – I love managers that remove a top of the lineup hitter then just shove some other schmohawk in their place.  “Clete.  I like that name.  Like the things at the bottom of a baseball shoe.  You hit 3rd, Clete.”  If Spike Owen came out of retirement, he’d hit 4th.

This was, as they say in Italy, an Experto Callaspo AL-Only draft.  What AL-Only means to me? Thanks for asking, random italicized voice.  It means I probably won’t have one pitcher that I would usually have in a mixed league.  I contemplated about how I wanted to go about this draft.  It’s good to have a game plan, ya know?  So I decided, since I don’t really like AL pitchers, I would get solid pitchers anyway.  Zoinks!  I figured that solid pitchers would be at a premium and if I got my share, I’d be in good shape.  Also, from my knowledge of other ‘pert drafts, no one drafts starters early, so while they’re zigging, I decided to zag.  “Knowing your opponents’ weaknesses is half the duel,” Aaron Burr.  When you see my pitchers, you’ll see I didn’t really get that many great ones, but for AL-Only I have a top three pitching staff going into the season.  Then there’s the strategy I employed for hitters.  I decided to punt catchers, of course, and up the middle.  Punting the MIs was because I knew who I wanted late and I knew guys like Alexei Ramirez would go way early (He went in the 2nd round.)  Okay, before I get to my thoughts I jotted down during the AL-Only draft, here’s my co-conspirators:

Fantasy Baseball Dugout
The Fantasy Man
Fantasy Sports Commissioner Training Institute
Rotohelp
Sporting News
ProFantasy Baseball
Roto Central
Advanced Fantasy Baseball
Fantasy Sports R Us
Fantasy Baseball Sherpa
Fanball

Here’s my team:

C:  Taylor Teagarden (19)
1B: Carlos Pena (3)
2B: Asdrubal Cabrera (15)
SS: Jed Lowrie (11)
3B: Brandon Wood (12)
MI: Wilson Betemit (23)
CI:  Jason Giambi (10)
OF: Carlos Quentin (1)
OF: Carl Crawford (2)
OF: Vernon Wells (5)
OF: Franklin Gutierrez (14)
OF: Brett Gardner (16)
UT: DeWayne Wise (25)
P:  James Shields (4)
P:  Joba Chamberlain (6)
P:  John Danks (7)
P:  Brad Ziegler (8)
P:  Brandon Lyon (9)
P:  Anthony Reyes (13)
P:  Dan Wheeler (17)
P:  Kevin Millwood (18)
P:  Rafael Betancourt (22)
Bench: Melky Cabrera (20), Wladimir Balentien (21), Matt Thornton (24), Jeremy Sowers (26), Damaso Marte (27)

Notes I jotted down during the draft:

ROUND 1 & 2 – I get Carlos N Carl with my first two picks.  Yuck.  Seriously, I hate AL-Only.  I have no idea where all the good players have gone, but I think it’s into the NL. (To make matters worst, I drafted the first five rounds, then we needed to do it over because something was wrong with the draft room. (I once loved you, CBS!  Nevermore.)  Then, to make matters even worse, our do over was supposed to be a shot by shot remake of the original, but someone decided to make it an adaptation.  At one point, one of the ‘perts asked another ‘pert if they could see they were giving them the middle finger.  Fun times!)

ROUND 3 – I wanted lots of power from my corners.  That became a pipe dream when Aubrey Huff was drafted ahead of me in the 3rd (!) round.  Drafting Carlos Pena in the third round is a tragic-comedy.

ROUND 4 – James Shields. It was between him and Liriano.  And I got to draft both at one point, but that was the first AL-Only ‘pert draft that we will never speak of again.  Actually, I’m pleased with Shields.

ROUND 5 – Vernon Wells.  This is barely an endorsement of Wells, but he was the last outfielder that’s halfway reliable and he’s supposed to be healthy by April.  Of course, that will turn into June any day now.

ROUND 6 – Joba Chamberlain.  This is really all I needed for my AL-Only staff and the next guy is gluttony at its worst.

ROUND 7 – John Danks.  Hey, Gluttony, good to see you.  Okay, before you call me out for this. Here’s the guys that were taken after him that I could’ve had:

Kevin Slowey – I want Danks over him.  You do too.
Nick Swisher – Okay, but doesn’t have a secure job and will bat .240.
Mike Jacobs – I already drafted the Latin Jacobs.
Orlando Cabrera – Eh.
Denard Span – Blah.
Frank Francisco – Solid pick.
Scott Baker – On the risky pitcher list.
Troy Percival – Too early for him.
Fausto Carmona – Danks is twice the pitcher of Carmona.
Carlos Gomez – Great pick, but because of Crawford I couldn’t have made it.
Gavin Floyd then Joe Saunders then Crapolanco… You get my point.

ROUND 10 – Jason Giambi.  Carlos Pena’s baby daddy.

ROUND 11 & 12 – Jed Lowrie and Brandon Wood.  A) They have the superfecta of eligibility, which is crucial for a single league.  B) They have upside.  C) Would you really have wanted Crapolanco and Orlando Cabrera over these two?  D) As T.J. Lavin would say, “They are both killing it in spring training.”  (Speaking of T.J. Lavin, The Challenge is back in two weeks.  I can’t wait.)

ROUND 13 – Anthony Reyes. This could be the steal of the draft.  Or a guy I drop by May.  Stay tuned!

ROUND 14 – The Big FraGu.  At this point in the draft, there wasn’t even a lot of guys who had starting jobs let alone one that could go 15/15.  Granted, my average is in the dumpster at this point.

ROUND 15 – As…DRUBAL!  I almost took him in the 10th round, but I quickly saw where everyone else’s team stood with middle infielders and I realized I could wait.  This is Grey.  This is Grey on his toes.  (BTW, it’s really sad when you get this excited about Asdrubal Cabrera.  It’s AL-Only.  Small victories.)

ROUND 19 – Taylor Teagarden.  Honestly, I don’t know what his playing time will be like, but if he hits 10 HRs, I win with this pick.  Not to mention, he’s a better defender, so he could see 250+ ABs.  Think Napoli last year.

ROUND 21 – We like to Wladdy… We like to Wladdy…

ROUND 23 – Wilson Betemit.  I think he hits 15 HRs in a super-utility role.  Or flat-out takes over for Josh Fields.  Or I drop him and fill-in my MI spot with someone else.  At this point, Punto, Bobby Crosby and Zobrist were being drafted so this pick is really no harm, no foul.

ROUND 26 – Jeremy Sowers.  For this late in the draft to get a starter on a good team– Oh, who am I kidding?  I’ll probably drop him by April 7th.

I was trying to think of things that are as boring and meaningless as spring training, but are extremely exciting because their conclusion signifies the start of something great. Immediately I thought of breast implants, because that’s what I immediately think of for everything. Then I tried to think of actual analogies. Political campaigns are beyond boring, but meaningless? Maybe, I guess. Michael Clayton was boring and meaningless, and exciting because I was able to get out of theater when it ended, but it didn’t lead to anything wonderful except an Auntie’s Anne’s cinnamon-sugar pretzel. Oh, well. I’m at a lost. Maybe one of you readers can think of something (I’m actually positive Rudy Gamble will think of an analogy). Until then, let’s run down some more players to look out for in Spring Training.

Jeremy Sowers – Finished strong in his final Triple A games last year (4-1 with a 2.95 ERA in his final nine starts) and now does battle with Cliff Lee and Aaron Laffey for the final spot in the Indians rotation. Sowers is a talented young kid and the Indians’ fifth starter will have value, whoever ends up with the nod.

Evan Longoria – Last year, I watched Ryan Braun in spring training and made sure I got him in a keeper league (only to lose him during the season, but that’s another story). This spring watch Evan Longoria. All indications point to him being the Rays’ opening day third basemen, so try and watch how good he is at reading pitches in spring training to see if you want to invest in him at your draft.

Kosuke Fukudome – A) You want to see how he looks against major league pitching to avoid an Iwamura disaster (BTW, Iwamura isn’t half as bad at 2nd base. Actually, he’s exactly as bad, but it’s a better position to draft him for. B) You want to see if he’s playing center at all, cause if he’s there and Pie’s on the bench then Murton gets a shot (finally!). Murton has a lot of talent, hopefully he can find some place to play this year. Redheads guys aren’t cute, but what is being done to Murton is a disgrace.

Michael Barrett – It’s been written here before how the town bully (Big Z) pantsed Barrett in front of the whole world and he never recovered even after moving to a new town. But if Barrett can get hot and Bard slumps in spring training, Barrett could be a great draftable 2nd catcher.

Chase Headley – Sticking with the Padres theme, watch Chase catch fire in the spring and he will have to at least be drafted in keeper leagues. Watch Edmonds get injured (it’s only a matter of time) and Chase could reposition himself in the outfield and be a huge sleeper.