The Strasburg watch has gone into DEFCON 3. Every expert who calls themselves one, knows the date he is coming up and who he will face and how he will throw exactly 85 pitches with 75 of them being fastballs. Enough already, all this speculation is annoying. He is owned in almost 85% of those leagues(with the exception of leagues where you can’t use minor leaguers). When he comes up if you don’t own him then you’re the fat kid with the short stick. Do I think he will be good? Yeah, I have seen him traded twice in the last week in my vast array of leagues. One for Shawn Marcum, Adam Jones and a pick, and the other was for Cliff Lee and a draft pick. I’m no judge but he has great value right now. As I basically only own him in one league. So with the Stras watch 2010 behind us, now let’s move onto week 9 two start fellas for fantasy baseball. It offers a busy week of usual suspects at the top of their fantasy games right now. Personally, I am looking forward to a couple of great pitching matchups this week; Timmy vs. Ubaldo on Monday, Tillman vs. Bucholz on Thursday. So, here’s the list of guys I think will not only be available in most leagues but go twice to boot.
Hisanori Takahashi - (@ SD vs. Corriea) (Fla vs. Nolasco)
As I have said previously, if I have any loyal listeners, Takahashi gets by with more deception than stuff. Will get figured out eventually. Any start at Petco is a good start. Mets are in the midst of their best pitching stretch of the year. Great K-rate should continue.
Jason Vargas – (Min vs. Blackburn) (Ana vs. Pineiro)
Been pretty steady considering the Mariners don’t score runs. Has pitched well enough to win last 3 starts. Not much in the K department. 2 home cooked starts are a plus. Will get battered by the Twins and then settle down for a win later in the week.
Brandon Morrow – (TB vs. Garza) (NYY vs. Vasquez)
Awesome K-rate makes him so appealing. Pitches twice as good at home where his ERA is in the 4’s, and gets 2 starts there albeit against teams that are good at abusing pitchers. Only pitcher in baseball in the top five in BB’s and K’s, there is no award for that.
Kevin Correia – ( NYM vs. Takahashi) (@Phi vs. Blanton)
Gets a home start. That is all you need. Has been marginal to crappy last 5 starts. Still will get you 5 K’s per outing, if he can keep it on the ground vs. Phils could have himself a sub 3 ERA for the week with 2 wins.
Trevor Cahill – (@ Det vs. Verlander) (Min vs. Liriano)
Has had a few more starts than last time I wrote about him and, well, lookie here… He is hitting his stride. Opponents hitting .221 against him. Great time to get in on him when others may be sleeping.
Mitch Talbot – ( @NYY vs. Pettitte) ( @CHW vs. Peavy)
Has a rabbit’s foot, 3 buffalo nickels and a signed picture of Abe Vigoda in his pocket for luck. Has 40% of Cleveland’s wins. How you ask? Only Scott Baio knows.
Luke Hochevar – (Ana vs. Santana) (Det vs. Verlander)
Can’t be a week if I don’t talk about a KC pitcher. Umm words are elusive right now. Coming off 2 great starts plus they have a waterfall in their stadium, a waterfall!
Jeremy Bonderman – (Cle vs. Westbrook) ( @KC vs. Bannister)
Starting to look like a ten million dollar pitcher. Has allowed only 4 ER in May. Gets about 6 K’s per outing and his team scores runs for him. Best 2 start matchup guy for the week and the low end pick up o’ the week.
Brett Myers – (Was vs. Stammen) (CHC vs. Gorzellany)
Still doin’ work. Walks entirely too many for my liking. Gets two decent matchups for a team going nowhere but the trade pool. Sneaky guy for 12K’s and a win this week.
John Ely – ( Ari vs. Haren) (Atl vs. Hudson)
How could I not write about a Grey fav. K/BB rate is phenomenal. Gets 2 starters that are scuffling as of late. Any 2 start guy who has his numbers is a no brainer, stay on the bus and enjoy the ride.
Hisanori Takahashi had a nearly identical line last night as his last start; 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks. A) I’m chalking it up to his histrionic delivery. All of it. You baffle people who haven’t seen you when you throw the ball between your legs and shake your tukis afterwards. B) Did I just say tukis? Hey, I’m Eli Whiteside! C) He could continue to baffle people for a good couple of months. D) He plays in Metco. E) I can’t believe there was a D let alone an E. F) A long long way to run. G) He gets the Padres next. H) He’s in the NL on a team that can win some games. Why not own him? Seriously, grab him now. I) Am writing this. J) Buhner. K) There’s no K, there’s never a K. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Jose Reyes – 2-for-4 and a home run. Thank you, Lord.
Brandon Morrow – 5 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks. He’s shown a tendency to tie his owners to the WHIPping post this year, but the Ks have been real nice.
Mike Gonzalez – Had a setback in his rehab. Oh, no, did he huff glue? Oh, different rehab. Trembley said, “Mike is fine with (throwing long toss), and we think if he does that for a week or so, his arm strength will come back to where it was.” Where it was when he was sucking or where it was when he wasn’t sucking? Can we get a sucking or no sucking clarification? I think we’ll be lucky to see Mike Gonzalez save a game before the All-Star Break. Through no design of the terrific bullpen that is covering for him.
Jacoby Ellsbury – Out with soreness on his side as he underwent a CT scan. (I actually just had a CT scan on Sunday. I’m still glowing in the dark from the iodine they shot me up with.) I know this might be a bitter pill(sbury) to swallow, but I don’t think it’s going to be a great season for Ellsbury. Getting that Brian Roberts in spring training vibe. That is all.
Adrian Beltre – 4-for-5, 6 RBIs and 2 Homers. Wasn’t it just yesterday I asked where his power is? Boom goes the dynamite!
Mark Buehrle – In the 3rd inning he was ejected for arguing over a balk call, the second one called on him in the game. Hawk Harrelson said of the ump, “He wrong.”
Carlos Quentin – 0-for-4. He’s a mess. I’m done defending him. But he’s so talented! Okay, now I’m done. He could go off for a month or two or he can get injured, but right now all he’s doing is looking lost at the plate. In most shallow leagues, I think it’s time to deploy the parachute and jump ship, to mix modes of transportation. Granted, now that I’m officially moving on, CQ will begin to hit.
Bobby Jenks – 1 IP, 3 ER, 6 baserunners. This was a Kazaam to make Dotel say, “Damn.” I’d continue to hold Thornton after this smashterpiece.
Derek Holland – Got an inning of relief just to stay loose for his Sunday start. All’s well in Holland land (stutter much?).
Jeremy Bonderman – 7 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks vs. the Mariners. This was an easy start. He gets the Indians next. Again, not too shabby.
Garrett Atkins – Hit his first homer of the year yesterday. Now Atkins is back to no carbs and weak grounders to short.
Trevor Cahill – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 3 Ks. He has 17 Ks to 10 walks in 35 and a third innings this year. The left mouth says, “Bel…” The right mouth says, “ch.” Together, “Belch.”
Tommy Hanson – 6 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 4 Ks. A bounceback of sorts, but against the Marlins I would’ve preferred to see more Ks and less walks (5).
Brian McCann – Left the game with a sore quad. That’s what she said! Wait, what?
Bronson Arroyo – 7 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks vs. the Pirates. This season, he’s gotten the Pirates three times, Padres, the no-hitting Cards twice, Indians and Astros. Yet, he still has a 4.30 ERA. Though the Reds do get nice matchups in the NL Central. Actually, everyone gets nice matchups in the NL Central.
Francisco Liriano – 7 IP, 2 ER, 10 baserunners, 7 Ks. Sonavabench! Why does he keep getting the Yankees? Did they switch divisions? Where’s the peasant Royals? The I’m-not-making-any-derogatory-comments-about-the-Indians-for-fear-of-coming-off-racist Indians?
Matt Garza – 5 IP, 6 ER, 10 baserunners, 3 Ks. Like to Control-Alt-Delete this start. Well, his ERA is still under 3 on the year. Hoping this was just a blip.
Ben Zobrist – Now has three homers in his last ten games. I don’t own him anywhere so I hope he goes into oblivion with Crystal Bowersox, but it’s still early enough in the season where he can reach all of his projections.
Roy Oswalt – 8 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 9 Ks. Never underestimate someone’s motivation to look appealing to get the hell off the Astros.
Tom Gorzelanny – 5 IP, 5 ER, 10 baserunners, 5 Ks. I was just admiring his K-rate the other day and now he’s probably going to get bumped for Big Z. Too bad, so sad.
Derrek Lee – Another three hit night as he raised his average 24 points in the last three games.
Jaime Garcia – 6 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks and a 1.14 ERA on the year. He has 24 walks to 45 Ks. That’s a sign that when his ERA corrects itself, it’s not going to be pretty.
Trevor Hoffman – Threw a scoreless 7th after throwing a scoreless 8th the other day. By June, he’s going to be starting games. In all seriousness, the Brewers want Hoffman to be their closer and he’s days away from resuming that role.
Carlos Gonzalez – Broke an 0-for-14 slump and his first homer in 10 days. Hopefully this is the start again (restart?) of something good.
Seth Smith – Hit two homers yesterday. I wonder if he would trade one of those homers for a more interesting name. Say Ubaldo?
Miguel Olivo – 3-for-4 with 2 steals. Someone probably should’ve thrown over when he was taking an 89 foot lead.
Ubaldo Jimenez – 8 scoreless innings as he moves to 9-1 with a 0.88 ERA and 0.93 WHIP. After the game, he won the Strasburg rookie card for $16,001, traded it for a Gregg Jefferies rookie card and now the Jefferies rookie card is worth $16,002.
Tommy Hanson‘s line yesterday was one and two-thirds innings and eight earned runs. Yes, you’ve been Pwnson’d. Hanson said he felt dizzy during the game, I’m sure his owners can sympathize. Hanson has an ERA of 4.18 on the year and back to back bad starts. Try and put a pine tree air freshener on that and it still stinks. Going into this year, I steered clear of Hanson. I was legitimately worried about his innings pitched jump from ’08 to ’09. So sell fast right now? Not so fast, Paulo. I’m going under the assumption that you don’t own him because you listened to me in the preseason. Hanson has a tremendous K-rate and his walks have been fine. Even yesterday it was an ill-timed homer to Votto that did him in. Do I think Hanson could still be a risk because of his innings last year? Yup, you betcha. But I’d buy him for 50 cents on the dollar. It depends how cheap you can swindle his dramatized owner. It takes alligator blood to check raise to the bed wetter. Anyway, here’s what else saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Brooks Conrad – If you didn’t see the end of the Braves game, you should try to catch the Brooks Conrad homer. Unlike Nix.
Joey Votto – Hit his 10th homer, a grand slam, and now bats .311 on the year. Someone asked me yesterday if I thought Votto could keep up his current hitting. I got flummoxed. “You flummoxed me, you, ” says nerdy Robert De Niro. Votto and Longoria? Legit 1st round guys next year. No foolin’, gee.
Jacoby Ellsbury – Should return this weekend. I’m pessimistic about how well he’s going to be on his return, but I guess if he’s up to playing again it means he’s capable of stealing bases.
Adrian Beltre – Hit his 3rd homer last night. After hitting only 8 homers last year, people were saying his move to Boston would fix all of that. So far, they’re right. He’s now on pace for 12 homers. Drop the confetti.
Mike Cameron – About a week away from returning to the Sawx. He’s the type of player you add and drop about three dozen times throughout the season. If you can keep Mike Cameron on your team the whole year, you’re just trying to prove a point to me.
Derrek Lee – Hit his fifth homer yesterday. Was around this time last year when he went on a tear. Not saying it’s happening again, but, well, maybe I am. Okay, I am saying it’s happening again… Actually, I’m not saying that. But maybe. Sorry, was just having some hedge fun.
Jose Contreras – Notched his 2nd save, now has a 0.63 ERA. True fact, his ERA and his age are the same number.
Luke Hochevar - 9 IP, 3 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks vs. the Indians offense. Offensive is more like it. You can’t even pronounce Hochevar’s name, keep it that way. Don’t get caught in the Hochevar trap. Next start, he will drop bombs on your head.
Alberto Callaspo – Hit his 7th homer yesterday. Has minimal speed and a decent average. If this were fantasy baseball charades, you’d point at Callaspo and say, “Ooh, I know! He’s Yunel Escobar!”
Carlos Villanueva – Threw a perfect inning as he recorded his first save. I wouldn’t drop Hoffman yet, but it could be a while before we see Hoffman again closing games.
Jonathan Lucroy – Gregg Zaun was injured in the game yesterday and there’s speculation the Brewers might call up Lucroy. Let’s see what Stephen said in the Brewers Minor League Review, “(Lucroy’s) plate discipline was impressive…. The GB, LD and FB rates correspond well to developing and continuing power trends towards high teen power potential… One thing to note, his OPS has decreased at promotion besides Rookie Ball to Class-A… And I once ate twelve hundred broccoli florets.” Oh-kay. Lucroy probably will be used as a backup since he’s still a bit raw. He probably won’t matter until next year at the earliest. George Kottaras will take over full-time duty. He’s not the dad from Webster.
Russell Branyan – 0-for-13 since his last homer. Sometimes a guy hit two homers in a game and he goes on a tear. Other times, a guy hits two homers in a game and that’s it. Branyan seems to fall in the latter camp. The latter, get off my team camp.
Trevor Crowe – No disrespect to the Trevor Crowe, Jason Donald, Hafner, Peralta, Branyan, LaPorta, Valbuena and Marson families, but these guys are egregious. Indians mascot, Chief Wahoo, is the crying Native American in that 70′s littering commercial.
Matt Holliday – 2-for-4 with his third steal. He’s batting .300 on the year. I swear to you, his .300 average made me do a double take. How has he been so yawstipating and he’s hitting .300? Maybe it’s the 16 RBIs. Or the 4 homers. Or the 3 steals. Okay, guess I answered my own question.
Brian Matusz – 2 1/3 IP, 7 ER as he roofied his owners.
Luke Scott – 3-for-4 with an RBI. Now batting, like, .700 in the last week. It’s not going to last forever. Get in now.
Brett Anderson – Hoping to start his rehab stint on Monday. He better do some heavy drinking this weekend…. Lose it on ‘ludes is what I say! Eat the worm!!! Oh, that rehab.
Ben Zobrist – 2-for-3, 3 RBIs and his first homer of the year. Here I thought the ‘Brist had the mohel cut off all of his power. It’s still early enough that if Zobrist goes on a five homer tear over the next week or so, he’d be right about where you’d want him at this point. That’s assuming he goes on that tear.
James Shields – 7 1/3 IP, 3 ER, 9 baserunners, 7 Ks vs. the Yanks and now has a 3.08 ERA on the year. I’m sorry the rest of you had to get involved in this; he’s just doing this to get even with me.
Juan Miranda – Hit his 2nd homer in the last three games. He’s got power, maybe he’s channeling The Spirit of Kevin Maas.
Gordon Beckham – 1-for-4 with 3 RBIs as he had his biggest game of the season. I wish I were being sarcastic.
Jake Peavy – 6 IP, 6 ER, 10 baserunners, 8 Ks. The good news is he gets the Indians in his next start and about every third start after that because of the unbalanced schedule.
Jason Vargas – 6 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 2 Ks. This is the kind of performance that elicits comments like this, “You can’t deny Vargas, Grey. He’s figured it out! Bask in his Vargasness, or do you fear the Vargas. Is that problem? Thank you, I’ll await your answer.” Yes, the glass is half-filled with Vargas. Here’s the deal, there’s a lot of pitchers that could be absolutely fine, but that doesn’t mean I’m owning them. There’s too many pitchers out there for me to sic Chompers on Vargas if I’m not feeling him. Could Vargas be okay? Eh, sure. He’s also been lucky — dancing between raindrops, pitches for a team with one of the worst offenses and he’s in the AL. It’s passable for me.
Erik Bedard – Word out of the Pacific Northwest is Bedard won’t be back until at least late June. Wait, there’s a phone call for me. Hey, June, what’s up? Bedard is due for a setback and won’t return until late July? Thanks, June!
Brandon Webb – Changing his arm slot after a visit from Dr. Freeze. I really hope he returns pitching like Brad Ziegler.
Aaron Heilman – Here’s the thing, and, yes, there is a thing. If you want to instill confidence in a new closer, you don’t remove the guy with two outs in the ninth inning with Juan Uribe coming up to bat. Should’ve let Heilman finish the game. Either hoo, Qualls got the save, but that doesn’t mean Heilman won’t get the save at some point this weekend.
Ricky Romero – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks. Now here’s a pitcher I can get behind. He has 64 Ks in 63 innings. ‘Nuff said. Okay, I’ll give you some more. His WHIP is 1.13. BAA is .206. Halladay who? Okay, maybe not yet, but Romero’s emerging. A’la George Costanza, “EMERGING!”
Jose Bautista – Hit his 12th homer yesterday. Of course he did! Why wouldn’t he? There was a game, wasn’t there? He’ll be in the Buy/Sell this afternoon, or as I like to call it, “In three hours so I better start writing.”
Kevin Gregg – 1/3 IP, 3 ER and the blown save. Was inevitable, wasn’t it? Gregg is the type of closer to blow three games in a row and lose the job by next Friday. This could be the beginning of the end. I grabbed Frasor wherever I could, just to be safe.
Ubaldo Jimenez – 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 Hit, 2 Walks, 4 Ks vs. the Astros. Not fair. Now has an ERA of 0.99 on the year. He left the game with a hammy issue, but it’s not supposed to be a problem going forward. Ubaldo eats hammys for breakfast.
Jeremy Bonderman – 6 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 8 Ks. I wouldn’t own him in an AL-Only league.
Manny Ramirez – Missed two straight games because he accidentally kicked a table and banged his toe. Here’s what I think happened. Casey Blake, pulling a goof on Manny, painted a table to look like a soccer ball and Manny kicked it.
Kyle Blanks - To the Disgraceful List with something-or-other. He’ll miss at least two weeks. On the bright side, David Eckstein no longer has to ride to Petco in the trunk.
John Maine – Was pulled from the game after one batter because he wasn’t breaking 85 MPH on the radar gun. I see, the Mets have given up on the pennant race and are now trying to win a jumbo SpongeBob SquarePants at a carnival.
We have reached the quarter pole of the fantasy season. We had our first manager ousting this week in K.C. The two biggest disappointments, team-wise have to be Seattle and Arizona. As we come up to week 7, it is the first week of interleague play, and the first week where all 30 teams play 7 games. Which is fantasy streaming gold in my eyes. It’s not really gold because if it were I would be wearing a miner’s hat and a UTEP t-shirt. Interleague play is a tough call to make for fantasy pitchers, they have to pretend to hit and the NL has the weakest DH guys. Well, let’s get into it; the week 7 fantasy baseball two start guys:
Brad Bergesen (KC vs. Davies) ( @ Was vs. Hernandez)
I was in on him preseason as a sleeper; he disappointed. 5 ER in last 3 starts, doesn’t K very many, which makes him especially unattractive. Gets 2 decent matchups as KC just isn’t very good and the Nats can swing the bats well every other day. O’s playing a lil’ better after dismal start. Good gamble in deep leagues.
Derek Holland (LAA vs. Kazmir) (CHC vs. Wells)
Everyone’s darling pickup of the week didn’t disappoint. Pitched a gem on Wed vs. Oak. Team scores a ton of runs and hitting against Kazmir can’t hurt. Easily could win both starts this week, though one is going to be an ERA bloater. Good K promise as some of his change of pace stuff is nasty.
Kris Medlen (NYM vs. Santana) (@ PIT vs. Duke)
Gets a couple more tries since Jair is still limping. Has shown flashes of breakout. 20/3 K/BB rate is awesome. Great latter week matchup. Could be a Holland type add after this week for most people. I like him for both starts. Good for a win and 10 K’s.
Chris Volstad (ARI vs. Jackson) (@CHW vs. Garcia)
Two great matchups for the big guy this week. Ed-Jax is looking like how he was back in Tampa’s bullpen 3 years ago and Garcia is on his last gasp. Volstad needs to stop walking people as he becomes a completely different pitcher when his rhythm is offset by the BB. Not a big K guy, should walk away from this week with positive add status in mixed leagues.
John Ely (Hou vs. Rodriguez) (Det vs. Porcello)
The guy invented the cotton gin and has decided to play baseball now, awesome. Pitched great last 2 starts, 17/3 K/BB rate is stellar for a rookie. Gets matchups against 2 pitchers who are in similar boats fantasy-wise, (not a very sturdy one at that). I am tempering expectations as he is due to implode and Detroit is murdering the ball offensively.
Clayton Richard (SF vs. Cain) (@ Sea vs. Rowland-Smith)
Has pitched just as good as Latos without the breakout game to put him on the map. Gets a home cooked start vs. the Giants which is good, gets a bad hitting team in Seattle which is better. Good for a win, 10 K’s and an ERA around 3.50 for the week. I’d take that all day.
Jamie Moyer (Pit vs. Duke) (Bos vs. Beckett)
Is just plain old school, wears the uniform like it, doesn’t use batting gloves. Has a “hit if you can” fastball and potent offense behind him. Not going to give you a lot of swing and misses, he could sneakily win 15. With an ERA in the mid 4’s, that’s pretty decent.
Jeremy Bonderman (Chw vs. Danks) (@LAD vs. Kuroda)
Minus one bad start (8ER in 4in), he has been effective. Isn’t who he used to be or who we thought he would be. Doesn’t have the K-rate of old and will walk his share. Has dual RP/SP eligibility, good for a gamble this week in a pinch if you believe in strength in numbers.
Gio Gonzalez (Sea vs. Rowland-Smith) (SF vs. Cain)
Every week he comes up in the questions as a must start for everyone. I don’t get it personally. He is way too hittable for my liking, throws about 100 pitches through 5 innings and, yeah, he gets you 6 K’s a game with a WHIP in the 1.40 range. Has a good first matchup that will prove everything I just said to be a farce.
With 2 HRs yesterday, Adam Lind now has 36/11/43/.313 on the year. I know, Cody Ross has looked good for stretches. Even Aaron Rowand has had a week or two here and there. But why are people asking me if Adam Lind should be sold off or worse dropped? You don’t want 85/27/100/.285? I know he was as boring as dog balls for the month of May. Well, he’s batting near-.500 in June. He’s shoved into the middle of the Blue Jays lineup like a Jenga piece no one will touch. Heart. Of. The. Lineup. Dear Razzball reader, let’s look at his OBP, shall we? He had a .380 OBP in 1500+ ABs in the minors and a .377 OBP so far this year. In the minors, he had a .318 average, he has a .313 average this year. He has power potential AND can hit for average. (Caps for emphasis and the hyperopic.) Fastballs? He likes them. Breaking balls? Don’t bother him. Sure, it took him until 25 to develop into a major leaguer, but so what? What were you doing at 25? I was trying to figure what I wanted to do at 26. Lind’s biggest drawback, he can’t field. Holy heffin’ hey in the screw hole, that doesn’t matter to us. Lind’s good, don’t be scared. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Josh Hamilton – Out 4-6 weeks with an abdominal tear. His owners out 4-6 weeks with tears.
Jose Valverde – Fist pumps could be back as early as this weekend. Trade Hawkins! Joking. Unless you can… No, that’s wrong. But really what is right without someone doing wrong? Nietzsche!
C.J. Wilson – I was remiss in leaving him off yesterday’s roundup. Frank2 could be headed to the DL again with shoulder soreness. Wilson should be owned in all leagues.
Brandon McCarthy – Headed to the DL with a stress fracture of shoulder. Votto feels for him, he has a stress fracture of his melon.
Chris Davis – 0-for-3, 3 Ks yesterday. Has 87 Ks in 191 ABs. Wow. Listen to this from Matthew Berry, “I’m sticking with Davis. Look, you didn’t draft him for his batting average anyway, and he is hitting for power with 12 home runs…. Keep in mind he was a career .302 hitter in the minors.” Oh, okay. Luckily, he only has two sides of his mouth. If that is indeed his mouth he’s using.
Jason Marquis – 6 2/3 IP, 2 ER. Leads the NL in Wins. Yup, makes sense.
Torii Hunter – Sidelined with a nagging groin. I had one of those when I was 19. I almost went blind because of it. Sorry, I hate to work blue. Pun intended.
Chris Iannetta – Due back on Tuesday. If you’re nursing some schmohawk catcher and Iannetta’s on waivers, act like ya know, MC Lyte.
Clint Barmes – Similar to Hamilton, he’s on a tear. Only the good kind. He’s 13-for-31 with a homer and 7 RBIs in his last 7 games.
Garrett Atkins – He’s not even starting anymore.
Randy Johnson - Didn’t he just pitch? Nice, Giants. Throw your 45-year-old on short rest. What, are they trying to get out of an innings clause or something?
Armando Galarraga – 6 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 11 baserunners vs. the White Sox, a team that has a .247 average against righties. I’m not sure if anyone’s holding out hope Galarraga’s going to be good again like last year, well, he’s not.
Jeremy Bonderman – 4 IP, 6 ER and now the White Sox are .250 against righties.
Miguel Cabrera – Returned and went 0-for-7 in the doubleheader. Hey, at least he’s back. I have Jose Reyes and Carlos Quentin playing spades on my DL.
Alexei Ramirez - 5-for-9 with one homer in the doubleheader and now batting .261. BTW, Alfonso Soriano hit .284 in April, Alexei hit .214. Soriano hit .216 in May, Alexei hit .281. Who will have the conch shell in June?
Gordon Beckham – 0 for his first 13 ABs. Beckham, you’re proving Ozzie right.
Jose Contretras – One hit over eight innings as he returned from the minors, though for him it should be called the seniors. He could very well get shelled in his next start.
Chipper Jones – HR yesterday, three in two days. So this is why people own him… Cool, now when do I trade him? When he sneezes? Hiccups? Someone, throw me a bone.
Nick Stavinoha – Went 0-for-4 wearing Pujols’s jersey.
Andy Sonnanstine – 7 IP, 5 ER. Jeff Niemann stole his juice.
Sean West – 8 IP, 0 ER. I know, woo-hoo. I looked at his 60 walks in 100 2/3 innings in Double A, his 22 walks in 42 2/3 innings in Triple A and I vomited on my wall and it spelled out, “Don’t pickup.”
Johnny Damon – 12th homer yesterday. What’s his over/under set at for homers? 24? I’m taking the over. By 2. Who wants some action?
Randy Choate – Maddon brought Choate into the 8th inning of a 4-3 game yesterday. A game the Rays were losing.
Andrew McCutchen – 4-for-7 with 2 triples, batting leadoff as the unknown soldyjer’s light burns in the two hole. McCutchen’s batting .400; somebody reach behind the Häagen-Dazs and take Ted Williams’s brain out of the freezer, he’s gonna wanna see this! I’d sell McCutchen right now if you don’t need speed.
Josh Outman – 6 IP, 3 ER and has an ERA of 3.17. I swear to you, he’s not this good, but he gets the Giants next time out. All aboard!
Andrew Bailey – 2 days, 2 saves. He’s the closer, guys. Stop owning Ziegler, people in your league are starting to wonder if you’ve abandoned your team.
Kevin Kouzmanoff – 2-for-4 yesterday with 4 RBIs. A homer the day before. I’m not saying he’s God’s gift to cornermen, but as teams pitch around A-Gonz, Kouz could pick up some scraps.
David Ortiz – His doctor prescribed eyedrops to hopefully help with his hitting. Who’s his optometrist, Victor Conte?
