Let’s all give Scott Sizemore a big “Welcome back.”  Well… Let’s give him a medium-sized “Welcome back…”  Screw it!  Let’s give him a quick “Hey” and a head nod like you give to your sister’s boyfriend that you can’t stand.  It’s not like he’s done all that much in his short time in the majors, but — and unless you’re an alien there’s always a but — who else are you rocking at your middle infidel spot?  Sizemore was hitting in the minors (.408/.495/.605 and 2 homers in 92 PAs).  It’s worth the flyer to see if he can translate minor league success to the majors.  Who knows?  Now that bin Laden’s listening to Gary Glitter’s Greatest Hits in hell, maybe Sizemore can get his bats through customs.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

David Freese – He’s gonna miss nine to twelve weeks.  Or the same amount of time it takes to get a 4-year degree from the University of Phoenix.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hey, Stephen here. Everyone, “Hey, Stephen!” In addition to my Wednesday afternoon look at prospects, through the incredible generosity of Rudy (nice fro!) and Grey (love the stache!), I’m going to write a Sunday post each week about players that are currently performing well in the minors and may get called up sooner than later that could help your fantasy baseball team.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

New York Mets 2010 Minor League Review
Overall farm ranking according to Baseball America (2010)
2010 (22) | 2009 (17) | 2008 (17) | 2007 (13) | 2006 (28) | 2005 (19) | 2004 (10)

Record of Major and Minor League Team(s)
MLB: [79 – 83] NL East
AAA: [76 –68] International League – Buffalo
AA: [66 – 76] Eastern League – Binghamton
A+: [62 – 76] Florida League – St.

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So far in this month of September, Troy Tulowitzki has 11 homers and 27 RBIs.  This is Hungrybear9562 owning Tulo in a H2H league this month — It’s a DOUBLE HOME RUN!  All the way across the sky!  OH.  MY.  GOD.  A double home run.  Wait, is this a triple home run?  No, it’s a double home run.  It’s beautiful.  *cries*  The only thing ever holding Tulo back is health.  If Tulo can stay healthy for an entire year… Well, look at his 2009 stats — 32 homers, 20 steals and a .297 average.  Next year, he’ll only be 26-years-old and hitters tend not to peak until the age of 27.  Yum with a double shot of gimme.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Eric Young Jr.

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September 1st is an exciting time for fantasy baseballers (<–my mom’s term!).  Seasons change and it’s out with the old and in with new in baseball.  For us in the fantasy baseball trenches, September 1st means rosters expand and rookies are called up.  Unlike the September hitter call-ups I took my magical pencil to the other day, I’d use kid gloves with these pitching call-ups.  Pitchers can hurt you.  If you need to take a flier on a rookie pitcher, tread carefully, young Razzball reader.  Anyway, here’s some potential September call-ups to keep your eye on for fantasy baseball, the starters:

Jenrry Mejia – Was up in the beginning of the year as a reliever then was sent down to get stretched out.  Hey, I’m Mr.

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The Brain Freezes lived up to their names last month.  With Jenks, Hoffman, Gregg, Dotel, Lidge, Funklin Morales, Qualls, Perez, Wood and Simon all putting dry ice on your fantasy baseball team and then shattering it.  No one ever said owning Brain Freezes would be easy, but does it have to be this hard?  Can’t I just Ron Popeil my Jenkses and Hoffmen and let them be?  No, of course, I can’t.  It would be too easy.  I come from the school that if a guy has a chance to earn even one save, I’ll own them.  Sometimes this yields 6 saves from Alfredo Simon, other times this yields 12 earned runs in a third of an inning from Will Ohman.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Clayton Kershaw went 4 and two-thirds innings, giving up three earned and 11 baserunners.  Six of those ducks on the pond were walks.  That’s 1-2-3-4-5-6 walks.  Versus the Pirates.  A team that had a .318 OBP last year.  Sure, this year they’re starting with Robot Jones, “I must kill the Queen,” but c’mon.  How did I convince myself a pitcher who can’t get through 5 innings was a good idea?  I blame all of you.  Someone should of said something.  And if you did say something, you should used more exclamation marks or a bigger font.  This is not your beautiful wife, this is not your beautiful house, this is a pitcher who walks the ballpark.  On the bright side — and let’s face it, we need a bright side since not all of us live on the first floor — Kershaw was very bad last April too.  He’ll get better.  Or at least I keep telling myself that.  Convincing, right?  No, really he will.  Right?  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Aaron Cook – 5 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 5 Ks.  Can you smell what the Cook is rocking?  Smells like Dwayne Johnson’s movie career.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Joe Nathan and Huston Street are gone and everyone moved up.  That’s why people like Matt Capps and Chris Perez have done little but squat on the john yet moved up the rankings.  Though I still managed to find a way to not move up Brian Fuentes.  The way we’re going there won’t be any $12 Salads by May.  Then what?  $8 Side Dishes?  Who needs roasted cauliflower with truffle oil?  Not me!  I’m happy with a baked potato.  Yes, sir!  Hmm… Maybe I shouldn’t write these right before lunch.  Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?

Please, blog, may I have some more?