Former St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Joaquin Andujar once said, “You can sum up in one word the game of baseball: ‘You never know.’”
Well said Joaquin, well said.
You never know how the season will go and what stars will emerge and what stars will fade to black (someone please cue up Metallica here. I’m tired of boy bands). That’s part of the fun and frustration of fantasy sports. But even if you drafted well, with all your players off to a hot start and you are filled to the brim with confidence and trash talk, you just never know when you are going to hear that one word the game of baseball truly despises: The disabled list. *tips cap to Professor Andujar* Please, blog, may I have some more?
So this is a fun story for you. When I was a kid, I played 2nd base. Was one of those pesky slap hitters that annoyed the pitchers. I led the way for Orlando Hudson. Call me Orlando Oldson. At the age of twelve, I never struckout once. All season. That’s how Oldson did. Then when I turned thirteen, I sucked. I couldn’t hit the broadside of a barn. If they didn’t have to play every kid, I would’ve never seen any PT. At one point, I had a friend promise to throw the ball right down the middle just so I could get one hit for the year. And that was what I finished with. One hit. So wha’ happened? Where did Oldson disappear to? Well, going into that year, I discovered girls. And all of their fleshy parts. But I also needed glasses. Who was I? Chris Sabo? Chris Sabo got laid once. And he paid for it. So I took the easy way out and never wore my glasses. My baseball career paid for it big time. But I touched a boob! This brings me to Brian McCann. He’s supposed to be returning. Stat, doc. You know what catchers need? Rest. You know what McCann’s had a lot of? Mmm-hmm. See where I’m going with this? Of course you do. You gots smarts! So McCann had a terrible first month of April. Tizz-errible. Well, he couldn’t see like Oldson and his luck (BABIP) was in the shizzer too. Now as long as he’s not embarrassed to wear glasses around Frenchy, he should be fine. So potatoes to chips, he’s still a guy that can hit 20 HRs and bat .290. Buy, snitches! Anyway, here’s some more players to buy and sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Josh Whitesell – Starting the Buys with a -Sell? Oh, Grey! Please, blog, may I have some more?
Chris Davis has 42 Ks in 88 ABs. That’s a pace of about 300 Ks. Not sure he gets there, but Mark Reynolds should be worried about his strikeout record. Back when I called Chris Davis a poor man’s Mark Reynolds, everyone and there’s Momma’s boyfriend wanted some Davis action. Back in June of 2008, when Davis was called up, I said, “(It) doesn’t mean he will strikeout 250 times and hit 50 HRs, but it gives you a bit of an idea of what kind of player he is.” Actually, he may strikeout 250 times. And that’s me quoting me linking to me and correcting me! I’m not saying any of this to push people to trade him away, but I think a lot of people thought they were getting a .300 hitter in Davis. He’s not. Average is a bit of a fluky thing, but, with the way Davis is striking out, he’s looking like a .240-.250 hitter. I still think as the weather heats up the homers will be flying, but check your expectations. Anyway, here’s what we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Grady Sizemore – Sizemore got caught stealing for the 4th time yesterday in 9 tries. Last year he only was caught 5 times out of 44 tries. Grady hasn’t had this much trouble getting to 2nd base since he was a sophomore in high school and was still being ridiculed as Gravy Friesmore. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Hey, Matt Holliday finally hit a homer! Please don’t tell me this is gonna be negative! Sorry, random italicized voice. If you look at Holliday’s peripheral numbers you would see a guy that is more or less in line with his norms. Now here’s the real kick in the nads. He’s K’ing and walking less. So what do I take away from that? Trouble. To me this means, Holliday is seeing more pitches to hit because AL pitchers haven’t been worried about him and rather than making them pay, Holliday’s putting the ball into play in the form of a flyout or groundout. He’s hitting a bit fewer line drives than normal so that means his average may go up a bit, but I don’t think we see the .330 we were accustomed to in Colorado. Now that he hit a homer, see if you can convince someone Holliday’s back from, uh, holiday. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Matt Garza – 7 2/3 IP, 2 baserunners. Sonavabench! This is the problem with Garza. He instills so little confidence. We’ll see what he does next time out. I got suspicions. Please, blog, may I have some more?