Finally, the Red Sox promoted Nomah’s heir apparent — Zandah Bogats! Johnny Pesky and Ted Williams’s frozen head said, “Allaka Xander!” and poof a direct descendant of Cahl Yahstremski, Nomah and former top prospect, Harvey Jod, who died tragically in a parking lot incident, appeared. Drafting a hard A-voweled hitter makes as much sense for the Sox as drafting soft O’s for the Twins: Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau; they still must rue the day they lost out on Joe Charboneau. But, you know, you can’t spell Xander Bogaerts without Red Sox, and he’s got bat and range, to boot. So, here’s looking at you, Bogaerts! Went there, wrote that — Xander Bogaerts fantasy, that is. Now Xander’s here to Bogaert the Red Sox shortstop job. There’s a chance he simply platoons this year. If he’s only used against lefties, his value will be severely diminished in redraft leagues. My guess is he’ll play shortstop vs. lefties, and play some third base vs. righties with Middlebrooks grabbing pine occasionally. Obviously, it wasn’t a great sign last night that he was benched vs. a righty, but it was just one game. I’d grab him in all leagues because his bat is that good. Think of a Puig-type splash at shortstop. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
And just like Lazarus, I’ve come back from the dead. Well not really from death. I was just on vacation but after being gone this long I’m sure you’re all saying ‘you’re dead to me’ upon reading this. I know, it was one of the worst times of the year to leave you. You’re pushing for the playoffs in head to head leagues or trying to wiggle up your standings at the final turn of the season. I left you cold, naked and afraid like that one time the boyfriend came in and you were bumping uglies with his girl and you had to hide in the stand up freezer. I understand no apology will erase this frost-bitten memory for you but hopefully my player of choice this week can put me back into your good graces. To be fair, JB and I and the rest of the Razzball Football crew have been pretty busy trying to get Commissioners for the 2013 Fantasy Football season in our Razzball Commenter Leagues so it’s not like we haven’t still been working hard for you, we just changed the shape of the ball. But with that, I come to you for this fine week 21 with a power crazed man with a sweet home ballpark. So let me give unto you Darin Ruf for week 21 of the 2013 Fantasy Baseball season…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Did you guys see that Clint Eastwood movie, “Trouble with the Curve”? No? Yeah, me neither. It got a 52% on RottenTomatoes.com, which is pretty awful, so I think it’s safe to assume we didn’t miss much. Anyway, I’m thinking the whole flick would’ve gone over better if it had just looped this clip from the Little League World Series over and over again:
Bhahahahahah. I laugh, but I’m sure my effort wouldn’t have been much better. Your two-starters are below.
As always, probable pitchers are subject to change. For a look at all fantasy baseball streamers, click that link.Please, blog, may I have some more?
All strikeouts aren’t created equal, apparently. Holy Samardballs, are you kidding me? It was a short schedule day. There’s no middle relief disinfectant for this feces you sprayed all over my team. Why do you hurt me, Jeff Samardzija? Did I not show you enough preseason love? Did my March cuddles not warm your cockles? Did the hype get to your head? Are you better suited for football? Are you a great Scrabble word in search of a pitching repertoire? What the effin’ eff are you doing to my ratios? I GOT QUESTIONS, Y’ALL! Yesterday, his line was 3 1/3 IP, 9 ER and today he’s dropped to waivers. You can’t hold a guy who’s as explosive as bad Mexican food. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Another week older and closer to the all-star game. Where we can look forward to listening to about 600 comments about the waterfall in Kauffman Stadium. We get it, it’s a waterfall in a baseball park; my koi pond has one too but you don’t see them sauntering about with uniforms having a home run derby.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Clarence Clemons Sabathia was the big man for the Yankees, one-hitting the A’s over 8 innings for his 19th win. Over 17 starts since June 1, CC has gone 14-2 and has thrown 7+ innings with less than 3 ERs in 15 of those games.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Carlos Pena is out for the remainder of the season according to the St. Petersburg Times. My question is, why is a Russian newspaper reporting this? Guess my over under of 41 homers for Pena is gonna end just under at 39. One of these years, he’s going to have one of those lucky seasons and hit for .280 and everyone… My brain just tapped me on my shoulder and reminded me Pena had one of those seasons, it was in 2007. Oh, brain. What would I ever do without you? So now that Pena’s done, you’re going to need to grab some power — try Drew Stubbs — he’s out of his flippin’ mind. I keed. I’d try Andy Marte, Casey McGehee, Carlos Guillen, Mora or Juan Uribe, in that order. Marte will kill you on average though, so he’ll fit perfectly into Pena’s vacated spot. And, yes, I just sorta-kinda recommended Juan Uribe. No diggity! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Clayton Kershaw – Will miss a start with a bruised shoulder. Probably could’ve went if the Dodgers needed him to. Get used to news like this. Pitchers will be contracting all sorts of minor ailments in the last few weeks to miss starts as clubs try to keep their innings in check.Please, blog, may I have some more?
How about them White Sox?! Yeah, they chucked in the pale towel sometime between Ozzie Guillen’s Monday outburst and Ozzie Guillen’s Tuesday outburst of this week. One of the pieces them grabbed that was hailed by many as being a stroke of genius was Jake Peavy. Yeah, the Padres actually made a good trade there as Peavy struggles with an elbow injury. Another piece, Alex Rios. I think even Jessica Shaw would concur Rios is so fifteen minutes ago.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The G-Sizzle Fizzle loses more carbonation as we head into September. Grady Sizemore will undergo surgery prior to the end of the season. This means you will lose him at some point this month. The longer the Indians push him the more of a chance that he may not be ready for spring training. The Indians are playing for $23 worth of trinkets right now so this is a no-brainer for them. And a no-brainer is the Indians’ management specialty. They called up Michael Brantley to eventually fill-in full-time for Sizemore. Last night, Brantley played left field (went 2-for-4, batted 9th). In 115 games in Triple-A, Brantley had 43 steals. He’ll probably be a liability on average, but for those steal-starved teams out there — SAGNOF! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Hanley Ramirez – Left with a tight hamstring. Had one of those last Thanksgiving on the Hormel. Had to chew around it.Please, blog, may I have some more?