Fantasy Baseball Advice

With September 1st knocking on August’s door — August 31st, is that you? Uh… No.  August 30th? Nope.  August 32nd? No, you nitwit!  It’s September 1st! – it’s time we looked at September call ups.  These are potential September call ups that will, should, could and potentially make or not make a difference in fantasy baseball.  Today, we’ll look at the hitters, then on Tuesday afternoon we’ll look at pitchers.  So tip out some of your malt liquor for the pitchers who aren’t here and take a drag on that Newport, cause Razzball’s Alive With Pleasure with September call ups, the hitters.  Anyway, here’s some potential September call ups to keep your eye on for fantasy baseball:

Jason Heyward – I could shave words of praise in my merkin for Heyward, but it probably won’t do us any good.  If Heyward gets called up, he probably won’t have that large of a role in September.

Mat Gamel – He should be the every day 3rd baseman in Milwaukee in September.  At worse, he plays every day vs. righties.  He’ll be worth an immediate pickup in all leagues for a shot of adrenaline to your fantasy baseball heart.  Speaking of which, Inglourious Basterds… I was kinda bored.  Maybe it was my mood.  Not sure.  Just got sick of looking at slow push-ins.

Kila Ka’aihue – I was actually looking forward to the Hawaiia’an mash machine’s call up last November.  How’s that for prescience!

Jeff Clement – Oh, just call him up already, Pirates.  What are you waiting for?  2012?  He deserves to be up already and given a long look.

Buster Posey – Probably will see some time… In spring training.

Justin Smoak – Was broken down by Scouting the Unknown.  Smoak’s another guy I don’t think we see this year.

Chris Heisey – Should get the call up by the Reds.  Or not!  This is for the Reds to decide.  He has moderate speed and power.  Think 12/12.  In one month, think 3/3.  So, eh.  But keepers should stay alert.

Cameron Maybin – You need to put aside the differences you guys had back in April.  Maybin’s worth look in 12 team, mixed leagues if/when he gets his September call up.

Eric Young Jr. – If you need steals in NL-Only leagues, stash him immediately.  Also, Barmes may lose significant time.

Brandon Allen – Besides sounding like a furniture store, he has good power, has already been called up and has a legit shot of seeing a lot of time at first for the Diamondbacks in September.

Tyler Flowers – Sticking with the mall store names, Flowers may get called up in September, but his role will be limited like cumin in chili.

Jeff Larish – Yo, 70’s Bowie was Larish!  Wait, that’s not right.  Jeff Larish is an all power, heavy K 1st baseman.  He probably won’t see much playing time if he’s called up.  And he’s androgynous.

Krispie Young – Now there’s a hot rookie name!

Chris Davis – With the Rangers in the hunt, I doubt they give Davis the requisite at-bats he’ll need to continue his assault on the all-time strikeout record.  Though he’s capable of a huge month, so it’s worth a flier.

Brandon Wood – Yeah, Scioscia will play him.  And in other news, water is dry.

Austin Jackson – For all of youse out there with Don Mattingly pillow cases and “Jeter’s My Homeboy” t-shirts don’t do it. Put down Jackson for this year.

Carlos Ruiz and angry Philly fans have a new battery mate in Cliff Lee, as he was traded from the Indians along with Ben Francisco. Going the other way were a slew of prospects, including my fave, Carlos Carrasco.  J.P. Ricciardi thought the Indians should’ve held out for Howard, Utley and Rollins.  Now to finalize this deal, Cliff should change his name to Phil.  Cliff Lee’s value takes a small boost, but he has a 3.14 ERA already.  You’ll take a low 3 ERA and love it.  You know who else gets a nice boost from this trade?  Matt LaPorta.  The MLP Package should get the call up to play with Francisco leaving his starts in, well, Cleveland.  Though the MLP Package should’ve been up and playing already and that hasn’t really happened yet.  Keep an eye on LaPorta in mixed 12 team leagues and deeper, because when he gets called up, he’ll be worth owning.  In some leagues, I’d even do a preemptive grab.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Freddy Sanchez – Traded to the Giants.  Sanchez’s value stays about the same.  Finally, the Giants have a 2nd baseman.  Now if they only had a 1st baseman, shortstop and three outfielders, they’d be all set.  The Giants must’ve thought to themselves, “Hey, if the Dodgers can compete with essentially the same quality 2nd baseman as Sanchez, why can’t we?”  A wise man once said that, “If Freddy Sanchez is an upgrade to your offense, you need a lot more than just Freddy Sanchez.”  That wise man was me.

Tim Alderson – Was the prospect that the Pirates got for Sanchez.  Scouting the Unknown has already gone over Tim Alderson.  The Cliff Notes version is, “Tim Alderson very good.  For Freddy Sanchez?  Giants idiots.”

Ian Snell – Headed to Safeco with Jack Wilson (blech) for Jeff Clement and Ronny Cedeno (blech x 2).  Jack Wilson for Ronny Cedeno is like trading a wiffle bat for a foam bat.  Snell though is intriging.  He was decent for about a year in Pittsburgh.  Going to Safeco and a fairly weak AL West isn’t terrible for his value. (The AL West weak?  The Mariners are contenders and they traded for Jack Wilson.  ‘Nuff said.)  Would I pick Snell up?  Nope, not yet.  But I’ll be watching him as he mows ‘em down in Tacoma.

Jeff Clement – He’ll be in the minors at first at, um, first, but if he gets the call he’ll be worth looking since he has catcher eligibility.  More than likely, he won’t steal ABs from Doumit, unless Doumit gets hurt, which has a decent chance of happening every day Doumit gets out of bed.  Clement will probably work his way into the 1st base mix when, or if, he gets called up.

Lastings Milledge – Argh, enough Pirates news already.  Milledge is supposed to be recalled on Friday.

Matt Cain – 9 IP, 0 ER and a no decision.  Glad to see that trade for Garko has added some much needed punch.

Roy Halladay – 7 IP, 3 ER.  J.P. Ricciardi asked Halladay to give up a few runs so no one would meet his demands.  Part of the master plan!

Jose Lopez – HR yesterday.  Usually he hits homers in bunches.

Adam Jones – Last week, I pointed out how Jones was hot again.  This week, he has 3 straight games with a homer.

Chris Tillman – 4 2/3 IP, 3 ER.  Eh, he looked a’ight.  Touched up for a few long balls and left some pitches up in the zone that could have led to a worse line.  Vs. the Royals you’d like to see a bit more, but he’s a rookie.  If you wanna try for the upside, you have to take on the risk.  Vs. the AL East?  I wouldn’t bother in one year leagues, except for matchups.

Jim Johnson – He entered the 8th in a save situation then the O’s added on, so Johnson stayed in and got the save.  Doesn’t mean he’s now the closer, but it may mean he’s next in line.  Which is good to know, ya know?

Joba Chamberlain – 8 IP, 0 ER.  Now three great starts in a row where he’s looked less like his mother’s son.

David Ortiz – DNP as Lowell DH’d and LaRoche played 1st.  The LaRoche Situation™ is costing all of these guys playing time.

Aaron Harang – 7 IP, 7 ER.  Not pretty, obviously, but after being touched up in the 1st inning, he threw 6 scoreless until Dusty left him in there too long.

Mat Latos – 7 IP, 1 ER, 4 Ks, 2 baserunners.  Very encouraging start from the young pitcher, but keep in mind he only threw 86 pitches.  On most nights, 86 pitches won’t get you through the 7th inning.  But as a HopdgePadre?  Get on the train!

Edward Mujica – Well, that cleared that up.  He’s no longer in the running for the closer job if Bell moves, because Mujica’s taking Geer’s spot in the rotation.  Mujica will be limited to 60 pitches so he’s not a wise investment.

Andruw Jones – 2 HRs. Oh, and having a better season than Josh Hamilton.

Scott Feldman – 2 1/3 IP, 6 ER, while looking more like his brother, Corey.

Curtis Granderson – 2 HRs.  I feel like Grandy’s putting together a very solid season (22 HRs/17 steals) and it’s going by pretty unnoticed.  Not sure why.  Is it because he’s batting .259?  Cause I’ll take a .240 average from a guy who’s on his way to a 30/25 season.

Justin Verlander – 7 IP, 3 ER, 13 Ks and his 12th win.  He has 172 Ks through July.  Incredible.  Yeah, he could win the Cy Young.

Carlos Quentin – HR yesterday.  About flippin’ time.

Wladimir Balentien – Traded to the Reds for bag of buttered popcorn.  Confusing on a few levels.  The Reds needed an outfielder?  The Reds are buyers?  I guess Baker just can’t stand the thought of playing Gomes every day.

Howie Kendrick – Batting .450 in the last seven games.  Yesterday, homer and 5 RBIs.  Is it me or is every middle infielder simultaneously hot?  It’s The Age of the MI Schmohawk.

Francisco Liriano – Brian Duensing replaced him yesterday not because Liriano’s been terrible, though that reason would’ve worked for me, but because Lirano had swelling in his forearm.  Supposedly, Liriano should be fine by next week.  I’m not sure if that’s good news or bad news for Liriano owners.

Alfonso Soriano – Al-So’s smoking the ball.  You know who else is hot?  Aramis and Lee.  About time the Cubbies stepped up their hitting. (BTW, I like how in yesterday’s blowout Piniella pulled his regulars, except Bradley.  Maybe Lou feels the same way as me.  If Milton plays enough, he’s got to get hurt.  It’s no coincidence that Milton Bradley makes the Operation game.)

Reed Johnson – Out four weeks with a broken foot.  The other day Randy was hurt.  This is the worst week to be a Johnson since Lorena Bobbitt was famous.

Trouble ahead, Casey Jones, if you think Matt Cain is ‘08 Lincecum.  I went over why this doode was faux-Cain two weeks go when I broke down FIP.  Now everyone is saying to sell high on him.  And by everyone, I mean ESPN.  Two weeks late, guys.  Went there already.  Oh, and I’m not going to link to them, because, as Berry said, that’s what they want.  Well, I want Berry to say I told him not to draft Nolasco and then he went and said Nolasco was in store for a great year.  When Berry says, I told him so.  I’ll link to them.  Wait, what was I saying?  Oh, yeah!  Cain!  So you got your lugwrench out and you’re trying to figure out how to make Cain able again.  The discrepancy between where Cain is now and where he should be is scary like Carol Channing without makeup.  Why?  Blah blah blah Lower K rate, very high strand rate… yadda yadda yadda… I went over it two weeks ago.  Open that FIP link.  And, yes, I touted the beejesus out of Cain in the preseason and I own him on a few teams.  And, yes, I’d actually feel better if his ERA was just in the low fours like it should be.  Don’t overrate his current ERA.  You know that.  So everyone’s zigging as they try to sell Cain, what do you do?  Zag?  Do you have the alligator blood to buy him for cheap?  Maybe.  It’s hard to sell a guy when their player news is calling for a regression.  It’s like running headlong into projectile vomit.  Then again, someone will drop some Liquid Paper on his stats any day now.  Now for the good news, his last time out he dropped his FIP from 4.85 to a more manageable 4.36.  One more strong start and who knows maybe he can actually be a 4.00 pitcher.  He’s not, I repeat, not a 2.40 ERA pitcher right now, but as long as you keep that in mind, you should be all right.  So sell him if you can get a decent deal, or buy him, but know what you’re getting.  Right now, people want to sell him so bad, you may actually get a decent deal for him.  He’s not terrible, just not quite what he’s been showing.  (BTW, CBS was touting Mark Reynolds as a buy this week.  I told you to buy him in March.  ESPN told you to sell Cain and Jurrjens this week.  I told you that two weeks ago.  If I didn’t write this shizz, I’d be reading it too.  Hey, wait a minute, my ’stache looks weird with my bigger head.)  Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell for this week in fantasy baseball:

BUY

J.P. Izzywheelfourson – Not sure if people are already done with the Rays and their bullpen shituation, but I’d hold for another week or two because whoever emerges will have value.  For full disclosure, I’m currently holding Wheeler on some teams.  No one else.

Jeff Clement – Honestly, I don’t know if he’s going to get called up with Johjima on the DL with a broken thumbkin, but if Clement gets the call, he’ll be worth a spot in mixed leagues for the catching deprived.  Right now, I’d own him in AL-Only leagues.  Recognize!

Jake Fox – Went over picking up Jake Fox yesterday.  Cliff Notes version:  The use of the phrase, “…like Tyra Banks would say, he can (hit) fiercely,” was an allusion to the reality show, America’s Next Top Model, where Tyra Banks, a former top model and terrible TV host, critiques aspiring models with the noted fashion photographer, Nigel Barker.  When an aspiring model performs well in a challenge, she’s said to be “fierce.”  So Grey is saying Jake Fox can hit well.

Fernando Martinez – As we continue our rookie nookie portion of our program, Martinez may only be up for a week or two.  I think he’s way too raw at this point in 12 team mixed leagues, so I haven’t grabbed him anywhere, but ya never know.

Tommy Hanson – Has to be up very soon.  Medlen’s been garbage.  We need Coach Leak to get the crowd started, “Let him play… Let him play…”

Luke Scott – He might only hit five homers in June, but they’ll probably come in the next week.

Alcides Escobar – Someone said something in the comments the other day that was funny, “If Web Gems is a category, this guy would be a 1st rounder.”  Or something like that, I’m paraphrasing and I don’t even know who said it and I didn’t feel like searching… Anyhoo, the Brewers put Escobar at 2nd base the day after Weeks went down.  Curious?  Yeah, they’re going to call him up.  Escobar probably won’t give you much offensively this year, except for steals.  SAGNOF!

J.A. Happ – Pickin’ up the Happy dugout!  What, no Ice Cube fans?  For shame.  Happ’s in a crizzappy park, but he gets the Nats and Padres in Petco next.

Russell Martin – Funny thing happened on the way to June.  Martin forgot he was a 1st half hitter. Anyone that actually wasted a draft pick on this catcher can’t be happy.  Right now, they’re thinking about how they could’ve punted the catcher spot, grabbed Varitek late and had 10 homers.  And they’re right, suckas!  Schadenfreude!  That doesn’t mean you can’t exploit their fragile sense of self.  Nietzsche!   Right now, they’d probably give you Martin for a side order of meatballs.  Great movie!  I’d prefer to have Martin than Varitek (or insert random catcher schmohawk that you own) for the rest of the year, so if you can weasel Martin out of someone’s clutches, consent granted.

SELL

Brandon Phillips – I was a big supporter of Phillips this year and still am, but only if he can prove healthy, and that but is J. Lo-sized.  I have a sneaky suspicion that Phillips is going to come back, then realize he can’t play with his hairline fracture on his thumb and go to the DL for 6 weeks.  Monitor him and field offers, so you seem like you’re, a, hip to the game.

Nick Johnson – You’ve been bamboozled.  Yes, you have.  No, he’s not going to stay healthy.  Nope.  Sorry.  Oh, and healthy Johnson has four homers.  Yawstipating.

Jorge De La Rosa – Not sure if I mentioned this when it happened, but I picked up George of the Rose the other day.  But benched him for his first start with me because I didn’t trust him.  He went three and a third innings and gave up seven runs.  Tragedy and trajectory towards the TV averted.  I dropped him the next day.

Manny Parra – You might’ve only owned him because of me so let me be the one to break it to you.  Commandment #1, Pitchers shall not issue walks.  Parra, go to hell.

Alex Gordon revealed yesterday that he would require hip surgery and would miss a few months.  Willie Bloomquist owners rejoice!  Obviously this isn’t great news for Gordon.  That’s 99 red balloons for your fearless leader, Grey.  I loved me some Alex Gordon.  Though, as fate would have it, I didn’t actually get him on any team.  Not by design.  I luckily backed up into that one.  You can DL him, but I’d cut bait if you have anyone else in the DL slot.  Gordon’s not coming back for a while and even when he was around, he was tentative at best.  It’s going to be real hard for me to sell anyone on drafting him next year.  But I will try!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

LaTroy Hawkins – Notched a save as Jose Valverde was held out of the game because of a sore back.  The Astros are making it sound like Valverde’s back isn’t much of an issue.  Yeah, and the Orioles wanted Wieters to work on his D.  And the Mariners brought Griffey back so they can win games not as a PR stunt.  And the Rockies were happy with the value they received for Holliday.  These clubs lie through their teeth.  Valverde may be fine and Hawkins is a cuddle boy, but all that means nothing if Hawkins is getting the saves.  If you have room, own him.

Alex Rodriguez – Took BP and hit the ball out of the park a few times.  Afterwards he said he hadn’t felt that good since his cousin was sticking him in the ass with steriods.

Cliff Lee – 6 IP, 1 ER.  Had a lot of baserunners to only give up one run.  Am I always glass is half empty with Lee?  Yes, yes I am.

Kosuke Fukudome – 3rd homer.  Looks like a pattern is emerging.  Someone likes to hit in the beginning of the year.  Last year, Fukudome hit the ball well through June.  So far, so same.

Ryan Franklin – Another save.  I think he gets 20-25 saves this year as LaRussa occasionally works in other guys.

Sean Marshall – 5 IP, 3 ER and 4 Ks.  Pretty much exactly what I would hope for from Marshall.  He was in line for the Win when he left, but Aaron Heilman, obviously still upset about losing the 5th starter job to him, took care of that.

Kenji Johjima – Joe Geema to the DL.  Keep an eye out if the Mariners are going to call up Jeff Clement, though Rob Johnson looks like he might take the majority of the PT.  Johnson is actually more intriguing than Joe Geema. (<–not really a compliment)

Yunel Escobar – Out for a few days with a strained ab.  Chipper says the left side of the bench is really comfy.

Emilio Bonifacio – 0-for-5 and three more Ks.  Dallas McPherson says, “Muahahahahaha.”

Vladimir Guerrero – In my daily roundups, I usually don’t mention guys that are owned everywhere unless there’s some kind of value change.  So was it weird it was just two days ago that I decided to mention Vladdy for just randomly going 0-for-4?  Or prescient?  You make the call!  All I know is the other day I saw a guy that looked really old and broken down.  It was revealed he has a strained pectoral muscle.  Glass half full?  He’s not really as bad as he’s looked so far this year; he’s injured and will return healthy pounding the ball.  But I think the glass is half empty.  Even if he’s healthy, he’s old and getting older by the day.  Unlike Benjamin Button.

John Danks – 6 IP, 1 ER, 8 Ks.  Mentioned in the preseason he’s one of the few AL starters I’m targeting.  I kinda wish I would’ve highlighted him more.  *SPOILER ALERT*  He’ll be in the Buy/Sell coming later today.  Stay tuned…

Barry Zito – 5 IP, 6 ER. At least one thing is constant.  The greatest trick Billy Beane ever pulled was convincing the world Zito was good.

Emmanuel Burriss – 3-for-5 with a steal.  If Webster gets hot, he can swipe 7 bags in a week.  Might be the Nuevofacio.

Chase Headley – 4-for-4, 3 RBIs.  I’d add him for this weekend in Philly.

Howie Kendrick – .205 on the year and his speed and power are weak too.  Awesome!  Was on the all-overrated team too.

Mark Teixeira – Received a cortisone shot for his wrist.  Maybe patty cake with Shelley Duncan wasn’t such a good idea.

Joe Saunders – 7 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners.  Great mysteries of the world… The origins of Stonehenge?  Did CT and Shauvon have sex?  And how is no one hitting Saunders?  At some point, this ace in wolf’s clothes is going to rub its butt on your Domino’s pizza.

Back in early November, I said, “Gregg, Cubs Closer?”  Well, remove the question mark and call me Nostradumbass.  It’s not surprising at all to me that Marmol’s not going to be the closer to start the season.  There’s no reason in debating whether Piniella made the right decision.  Of course he didn’t.  Joking.  There’s points for both sides.  As I said the other day, do you wanna lose the game in the 8th or the 9th?  Either way, all you should concern yourself with is who is getting the saves.  The pickle here is Marmol is actually worth owning even if he only gets 5-10 saves all year.  So if you drafted Marmol, I’d hold him just to pad your pitching stats.  If you have Gregg, nice late pick in your draft.  You probably just fell into 35 saves.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in spring training for fantasy baseball:

Brandon Morrow – Says he’s the closer.  And so it is.  You know what?  Every single one of you sitting around reading this blog for the last month could’ve stepped up and said you’d be the closer for the Mariners.  But what did you do?  You watered down the ketchup, made sure everyone’s coffee was hot and passive-aggressively stuck broken glass under your eighteen-year-old boss’s car tires.  You had to know with the top option being Miguel Batista that the job could’ve been yours.  Now march into your job and tell them you’re the new fry cook.  You got hot oil skillz!  Morrow’ll be fine as the closer if he can get/stay healthy.  Not sure what they’re going to do with Chad Cordero.  Maybe they can turn him into the starter Morrow should’ve been.

Jeff Clement – In a disappointing move, Clement was sent down.  You know where he went wrong?  He should’ve told the Mariners he was their catcher.  Guess Mattel can sponsor that Kenji doll night now.  Mommy, why doesn’t Kenji have a….THAT’S HIS ATHLETIC SUPPORTER!

Carlos Villanueva – As I mentioned in our fantasy baseball forums, Villanueva will fill-in for Trevor Hoffman.  Is Villanueva the best guy for the job?  Who knows?  Doesn’t matter.  SAGNOF.   Ours is not to reason why, ours is to pickup up the replacement closer and hope he keeps the job, unless of course you have Hoffman too.  You got to remember to Handcuff the Hoff!

Brett Gardner – Named opening day center fielder for the Yanks.  Back in November, I sowed the Gardner.

Matt Lindstrom – Appears to be on track to open the season.  Unless you have a pressing need somewhere, I’d hold Nunez for now.

Hanley Ramirez – Hit a HR.  Sore shoulder better?  You make the call!  Or not.

Chris Carter – Might get a shot to be a reserve outfielder for the Sawx.  The Red Sox were missing that Sci-Fi edge in the outfield since Manny left.

Troy Glaus – Rehab from shoulder surgery isn’t going so well.  Word is he might not make it back in late April/early May after all.  Bet they are regretting that Rolen for Glaus trade now!

Joe Mauer – Expected to miss the first month of the season.  The bad back must be from carrying the dwindling pennant hopes of Twins fans.  Let’s hope Liriano doesn’t strain his elbow picking up some of the slack.

Justin Duchscherer – Having elbow surgery.  Supposed to be out a month.  I forget what I said and I don’t feel like looking it up, but I think I pegged him for 5 starts this year.  Duchscherer’s elbow problems may have been exacerbated by autograph-seeking fans this spring.  You gotta stop at J.D., man!

Kelvim Escobar – I keep mentioning this guy, but in the last league I drafted I was able to snag him with like the 345th pick.  Um, he should be going before that.  When healthy (which he’s nearing), he’s good.

Chris Young – It’s a hard knock life being a 6′10″ pitcher.  More strain in throwing the ball down, bigger target to comebackers, lack of selection in Big & Tall shops, etc.  He’s been rather bad in Spring Training.  Perhaps it’s time to recognize that a pitcher can only go so far with a sub-90 MPH fastball and a unique propensity for fly ball outs.  Hopefully, he’ll come around and be solid, at least in Petco.

Mark Teahen – A positive reflection of the Royal roster is that there are less open spots to stash the mediocrity of Mark Teahen.  Last stop – 2nd base!  From a fantasy perspective, that’s not half bad.  Just 40% bad.

John Smoltz – He was due back June 1st but he’s ahead of schedule.  Now they are saying perhaps mid-May.  If you’ve got 2 DL slots in your league, might as well stash him in one.

Taylor Teagarden – Officially backing up Salty.  I think he can still get 300 ABs and contribute.  When asked why Saltamacchia over Teagarden, Texas brass explained, “Salty’s name goes to 12!”

Jeremy Guthrie – Opening Day starter for the Orioles.  Now if they can figure out a way for it to rain four out of five days, they should be fine.

Dontrelle Willis – On DL with anxiety disorder.  He’s been Greinke’d!  Maybe he just needs a Miguel Olivo hug.  Maybe he’ll go the Ankiel route.  You know, Willis was a very good hitter in the NL.  There’s got to be a Razzball glossary term for a hitter trapped in a pitcher’s body.  How about… Redesignated Hitters.