Jeff Clement

Grey

Does Aramis Really Stink This Bad?

| Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 615 Comments

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In an unprecedented move, I’m making Aramis Ramirez a Buy after labeling him a schmohawk in the preseason.  Crazy, right?  Get me a constituency and a mistress, I’m a flip-flopping politician?  I’ll run on the “No more new tuxes” campaign.  Then when people elect me and say they thought it was a typo or a weird lisp, I’ll tell them, “No, I’m just not buying a new tuxedo.”  I don’t want to talk up Aramis too much because I don’t think he’s a surefire stud.  He is what he is.  A 25 homer, 90+ RBI, .280 guy.  This past April was his worst month ever.  The next closest month of the last six years was when he hit .197 in April of 2006.  In the last six years, he never had more than two months under .250 in the same year.  Right now, his BABIP is the unrealistic .160.  His career mark is .288.  That’s obviously a far way off.  I wouldn’t give my dead grandma’s broach to get Aramis, but right now his owners don’t even want him or your nana’s forget-me-not.  You can probably trade a Brain Freeze and a schmohawk and get him.  Check raise the bettor, cause you have alligator’s blood.  Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:

BUY

Kris Medlen – In the minors, he averaged a 9+ K/9.  Last year in 67+ innings with the Braves, he had a 9+ K/9.  I don’t think he’s just going to walk away with Jurrjens’ rotation spot, but if Jurrjens has a setback (that’s a lilliputian “if”), Medlen could stick around for a month or so, giving a mid-3 ERA, a manageable WHIP and great Ks.  I <3 Medlen.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

The Hawaiia’an Mash Machine, Poi!

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 335 Comments

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The peasant Royals finally called up the first baseman, Kila Ka’aihue, who was blocked by Mike Jacobs last year in a boneheaded move.  His name is not pronounced Killer Kahlua.  Kila has a career .386 OBP in the minor leagues.  I guess Moore has no place for that on his team that has a .325 OBP.  In Stephen’s Minor League Review of the Royals, he wrote, “In 555 Triple-A at-bats (across two years), (Kila’s) hit for a .211 ISO.  The power is legit.  If given the chance at full playing time, the Royals could have a 25 homer, .400 OBP first baseman/DH.  Oh, and for Halloween I want to dress up as Grey but I don’t know how to make my head simultaneously big and stupid.”  Whoa, I gotta start proofreading these Minor League Reviews a little closer.  The only problem with Kila is I’m not sure where the Royals are going to play him.  Grab in deep mixed and AL-Only leagues.  Everyone else, hold your junk until we see how his playing time shakes out and to make sure this Kila is shooting something besides BBs.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Mike Aviles – 3-for-5 with a homer as the Royals finally called up another guy.  If you’re hurting for average, Aviles could provide some support, bra.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Hurtito Fuentes

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 190 Comments

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Brian Fuentes hurt himself lifting weights.  Can’t he just take HGH like every other freakin’ major leaguer.  Hayzeus Cristo, my closer luck has been terrible so far this year.  The closerousel has made me really nauseous.  Forget SAGNOF, more like CRYNOF, which acronyms to nothing but has “cry” in it.  Fernando Rodney is the immediate pickup, but, if your leagues are like mine, he’s gone already.  I grabbed Kevin Jepsen where I could for the chance that he might sneak in and grab a save or two.  Fuentes says he’ll be back as soon as his DL stint is up, but, if Rodney runs with the job, don’t be surprise to see Scioscia call shenanigans.  SABCS — Scioscia Always Be Calling Shenanigans.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Kevin Gregg – Officially takes over the closer role.  Gregg will probably drop a turd nugget in his next game and lose the job back to Frasor.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

JJ Will Have The Last Laugh – Hardy Har-Har!

| Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 681 Comments

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J.J. Hardy is an easy buy, which isn’t the same as an easy sell.  Hardy’s not exactly promoting a yum-yum juicy chicken burger with a side of 30 homers and 20 steals.  He’s cheap.  His expectations are low.  He’s 27-years-old and averaged 83/25/77/.280 at 24 and 25.  Last year, he didn’t tune and check out with Khalil Greene, going off to mullet all over.  Hardy started the year dealing with back issues and he never recovered.  If you invite Hardy onto your team, you don’t need to put plastic sheets on the bed and hide all the good flatware.  With O-Dog currently hurt and his grasp on the #2 spot tenuous, Hardy could be next in line for that spot.  If so, 160+ R/RBI is definitely reachable and the power is already there.  Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:

BUY

Ervin Santana – I was saying the other day something like you should move to the exit row.  I didn’t say exit.  I was preparing my exit.  Now when I see he’s only owned in 26% of ESPN leagues, I’m beginning to think people bailed on him too soon.  This isn’t a buy, this is a hold.  Format constraints and all that.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

2010 Fantasy Baseball, Buy/Sell

| Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 187 Comments

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Our weekly Friday Fantasy Baseball Feature, Buy Low/Sell High is back after an offseason layoff.  When asked what this fantasy baseball feature did during the offseason, it said this, “My family and I got together with the Fantasy Baseball Keeper posts’ family and we rented a Cruise America RV.  Spent most of our days touring ice fishing spots in Montana and our nights were spent swapping wives.”  Alrighty then!  To get everyone on the same page, I like the Buy guys.  I dislike the Sell guys.  Now I’m not saying to actually sell all the guys in the Sell section or to drop them.  Lots of times I’m simply saying to expect their current positive vibe to turn negative.  Also, if Alcides Escobar is in the Buy section (which he is!) and Berkman is in the Sell section (there too!) that doesn’t mean I recommend you trade Berkman for Escobar.  Everything’s relative, Einstein.  Anyway, here’s some guys to buy and sell for the 1st week of the fantasy baseball season (start the games already!):

BUY

Alcides Escobar – He stole 16 bases in 45 games this winter down in Venezuela.  (Ugueth Urbina did the same, but it was with a firearm.)  Brewers should bat Escobar 2nd in front of Braun and Fielder.  100+ Runs, 40 steals and a middling average aren’t out of the question.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Frasor Rescued From Dying Chambers Of Middle Relief

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 106 Comments

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The Jays have all but conceded the closer role to Jason Frasor.  They must love Frasor’s witticisms!  See if you can trade Kevin Gregg for Nadir Bupkus.  Otherwise, I’d drop him as soon as it’s official, which it may be by the time you read this.  Gregg’s not worth the stack of napkins you’re using until you buy more toilet paper.  I moved Frasor up my Closer Look from the other day.  His days of brain freezing could be behind him quickly; he can easily be a donkeycorn by May.  Gregg isn’t much of a challenge to Frasor and Gaston seems content with Downs in middle relief.  Anyway, here’s what else happened over the weekend in fantasy baseball:

Jon Rauch – The Twins are going with the dreaded closer-by-committee.  (Rauch moved down that same Closer Look.)  Matt Guerrier will see some save chances, Jose Mijares could see some situational saves, but I think Rauch will see the majority.  I own Rauch and Guerrier in different leagues.  If there’s one bullpen that can pull through losing their closer, it’s the Twins.  In years past, I’d say they definitely would ride it out, meaning no trade.  But they’re opening a new park and I think they want their fans to think they’re out there trying their best, so I think they acquire a closer, namely Heath Bell.  When will they acquire him or someone?  Either very soon, or June assuming they’re still in the race.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

2010 Fantasy Baseball, Deep Sleepers

| 2010 Fantasy Baseball Sleeper | 70 Comments

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Some of these guys will be on waivers if you don’t draft them, so does that mean you shouldn’t draft them?  Actually, I got confused by my own question, but I think that means you should still draft them.  Or maybe it means you should pick them up.  Or maybe wait until someone else picks them up, then mock them relentlessly then when they drop them you pick them up.  Yeah, that feels right.  Either way, here’s some players that no one may own coming out of your (12 team) draft, but you’re likely to look at them at some point in the season.  In larger leagues, these guys will probably be last round steals.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Twenty-Ten 20 Team, 2 Deep And Much 2 Complicated

| 2010 Fantasy Baseball Leagues | 135 Comments

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Unlike our last team, Rudy and I co-drafted this team.  So for every bad pick, Rudy and I have someone to blame.  Neither will take it personal.  We managed to work Elijah Dukes onto this team, who’s a total dwyck.  This is a 20 team, 5×5, roto league and still is, so we have more arms than Bruce Willis.  Get well soon, Guru!  The team breaks down like this:  Catcher, 1st Baseman, 2nd Baseman, 3rd Baseman, Shortstop, 3 Outfielders, Utility, 2 SPs, 2 RPs, 3 Ps and a 4 man bench.  Anyway, here’s a 2010 fantasy baseball team and some thoughts from the draft:

Round 1 – Ryan Braun – We skipped A-Rod and Utley.  Our thought process went like this.  With only one position player for each position, 3 outfielders and one utility man, we figured outfielders would make up the majority of the teams’ Utility spots and might even end up in the bench spots.  So you’re looking at drafting about 100 outfielders vs.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Catchers to Target, 2010 Fantasy Baseball

| 2010 Fantasy Baseball Draft, 2010 Fantasy Baseball Sleeper | 36 Comments

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Here, friend, are some catchers that I will be targeting at my 2010 fantasy drafts after the top options are gone.  I’m not going to get into the strategy of punting catchers.  Been there, half-drunkenly wrote that.  Click on the player’s name where applicable to  read more and see their 2010 projections.  This is a supplement to the top 20 catchers of 2010 fantasy baseball.  Anyway, here’s some catchers to target for 2010 fantasy baseball:

Ramon Hernandez – He’s unexciting3.  But so is losing your league.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Fantasy Baseball Draft Strategy, Punt Catcher

| 2010 Fantasy Baseball Draft, Fantasy Baseball Draft Strategy | 57 Comments

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No one carries two catchers in one catcher leagues.  If you do, you probably suffer from mushy brain.  So in 12 team leagues, you have 10 to 15 catchers at any time to choose from.  Hey, Miguel Olivo’s dressed like Johnny Weir and he’s hitting!  What do you know, Rod Barajas looks less Barajas-y!  Skinny Pudge is seeing fat pitches!

Please, blog, may I have some more?