Aroldis Chapman — A-rold! — defected yesterday.  I defect every morning after I eat my bran cereal. No, random italicized voice, defected.  As in, he gave the Cuban national team the old switcheroo.  He snuck out of a Rotterdam hotel where the team was staying this week.  The coach said he checked on him and saw him sleeping.  What he actually saw was a mannequin shifting in bed from a wire attached to the bedroom door that was strung over a closet door with a trophy attached.  For his escape, Aroldis wishes to thank Ferris Bueller.  So why do you care?  He’s the best lefty in the world and he can throw 100 MPH.  Keepers, clean your ears, cause there’s a new Strasburg in town.  Though no one’s sure what town that is.  Deep keepers should keep an eye out for when he’s added.  Probably a year away, but it depends on the team that signs him.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Alexei Ramirez – Sticking with the Cuban theme, good news for Alexei as his finger’s X-rays revealed no fracture.  He should return soon.  Not soon enough in a league where I’m rocking Everth Cabrera.  Steal, son.  You’re fast.

Please, blog, may I have some more?