Gattis, Gattis, who the eff is Gattis? He wandered the streets asking that exact same question to everyone he came upon. Spiritual advisors, ski instructors, girls who smelled of patchouli and had dreadlocks. WHO THE F IS GATTIS? Because I’m a glutton for punishment and endless catcher questions, here we are again with me recommending a catcher. Evan Gattis, the man who once lived in the adult section of a video store. The man who once dug through Mario Batali’s trash cans for a pair of used Crocs. The man who didn’t remember how he got where he was, but when he was there it sure made him happy. Gattis is like the homeless man on Robertson Blvd., who was drafted by the Royals, but this story has a happy ending.Please, blog, may I have some more?
We have almost a week of baseball in the books and Yu Darvish‘s Marvishlous 14 K 1-hitter and Chris Davis‘ power surge have been early standouts. Don’t own either? That’s a shame. Feel like quitting? Not yet, Razzball Nation, I am here to help. You may remember me, Dan, or my alter ego Blairtch, from such fantasy Friday roundups as Mike Trout Saved My Season, But Jewel Saved My Soul and Harper: Better, Faster, Stronger, and my popular online fantasy advice guide, Quit Losing Already, You Loser! I will be recapping Friday nights in fantasy baseball, providing plenty of references to The Cure and fantasy advice so Grey can use his weekends to take care of business, i.e. drink all those daiquiris you’ve been buying him and continue travelling across America interviewing players and managers, scouting top prospects, and attending round table discussions featuring only the most prestigious faculty, alumni and council members at the Fantasy Baseball College of Charleston. So do not worry, I’ll be here throughout the season to cover Friday’s full slate of games for the loyal weekend warriors. There are lots of players to cover this week so let’s get right to it.
Here’s what happened Friday night in fantasy baseball [*Opening Week Edition*]:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Last year, the Buy/Sell brought you such brilliant ideas as “Eric Thames is gonna be a river running through your heart!” and “Brennan Boesch is more like Brennan Bauce.” Buy/Sell, “You know, I don’t point all of your crappy suggestions… A.J. Mass was talking about buying me an acre of land in Kentucky and letting me run around with all of his stolen base draft picks. I may take him up on the offer if you’re not careful.” So, this is the first Buy/Sell of the season. Every Friday there will be a new one. Buy/Sell, “Not if we continue to get along like this. Try me, ‘stache. Try me.” This week’s lede pick is a new fave of mine who might not be worth owning by the end of April in mixed leagues, Jose Fernandez. Here’s an overall note, in this fantasy baseball game that has chosen us, we want to take the risk right now in case someone breaks out. It would be great if we all drafted a team that we can coast to a championship with, but if that’s true, your league isn’t competitive. In any league worth its salt, you need to pepper in some risk. Tuck your head down and go head long into the risk tornado. Fantasy baseballers on the storm, Fantasy baseballers on the storm…Into this blog we are born… Fantasy baseballers on the storm! I’m not saying drop Wainwright after one bad start, but having guys like Jose Fernandez at the end of your staff is much better than guys like Maholm (assuming every one of your other starters isn’t a risky upside gamble). You want guys at the end of your rotation that can do so much more than a 5th or 6th starter, rather than a 5th or 6th starter that is essentially a 5th or 6th starter. As for Fernandez, here’s what I said the other day, “First thing I do when I have a prospect question is search the site to see what Scott, our prospect writer, said. What I found, was a whole Jose Fernandez fantasy. He didn’t stop there, he also talked about him in the Marlins prospect preview post in October. There he said, “Fernandez broke out in 2012, posting a 1.75 ERA, a 0.93 WHIP, and a 10.6 K/9 between Low-A and High-A. The 20-year-old has legitimate ace-potential, and should find himself in the top-15 on most prospect lists this offseason. Now, if I were making a top-15 list of Well-Groomed Mustaches, Grey wouldn’t make it. When I blow up his picture 1000% in my laboratory, I can see cheese microbes.” Wow, Scott has a laboratory? That’s awesome! So, the Marlins are an interesting beast. They sell off all of their pieces, but they promote within quickly. After watching that Showtime series last year about the Marlins. I’m 50/50 on whether they even know about the arbitration clock. Within their minor league system, they’re run like, “We gotta make it to the playoffs this year!” From the major league level, they’re run like, “Let’s make sure we ship in our concession stands’ Cracker Jack from Chile because it’s four-hundredths of a cent cheaper. They pop their corn in yak oil.” I’d absolutely grab Jose Fernandez in all leagues. He has the chance to be lights out and could go 160 innings. He has the stuff that could make him a top ten starter in all of baseball within a year. For this year, I’ll give him the line of: 7-8/3.74/1.31/120 in 130 innings. Absolutely can be better. And worse. That’s the rookie nookie blessing and curse.” And that’s me quoting me! A lot of people commented about his lack of experience. He hasn’t thrown above High-A. Or as he calls it now, Bye-A. That shouldn’t matter. His stuff will play anywhere. He hits mid-90′s with a plus change and curve. Does it matter that a guy is 20 years old or 30 years old with his stuff? Chances are a pitcher is more likely to have that stuff at 20 with less miles on his arm. Fernandez will need to be lucky to win 10 games this year, but he could get a shizzload of Ks and have decent ratios. If he flames out, then you drop him for the next hot starter. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Scott White from CBS hosted this NL-Only draft that started at 8 AM PST. For the second time in my life, I was glad I didn’t live in Hawaii. The first time was when I received a coconut piggy bank from every relative that ever went to visit Hawaii. They should have a March Madness tournament for number one wackiest export. In the first round, Hawaii vs. China with coconut piggy banks going against backscratchers. They can meet the winner of the match-up between Switzerland and Taiwan with cuckoo clocks taking on baby corn. “I can’t believe baby corns advanced to the 2nd round. I didn’t think cuckoo clocks could be beat.” That’s the guy in your office who bets on anything that’s organized in a tournament. I drafted the team almost completely on my own since it was so early and Rudy was nursing a huffing hangover. Rudy did scoop in and draft the bench because, well, I had to poop. Anyway, here’s our 2013 fantasy baseball NL-Only team:Please, blog, may I have some more?
We at Razzball realize that exporting our views across the country has damaging consequences on the blogosphere. To help make amends, we are reaching out to leading team blogs and featuring their locally blogged answers to pressing 2013 fantasy baseball questions regarding their team. We feel this approach will be fresher, more sustainable, and require less energy consumption (for us anyway). The 2013 Brewers Fantasy Baseball Preview comes courtesy Kyle Lobner from Brew Crew Ball.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Like the 2nd basemen to target post, this is necessary. You want to take flyers on late shortstops. You want to avoid taking high-priced shortstops. Position scarcity is a buzzword(s) that fantasy baseballers (<–my mom’s term!) like to throw around. It’s the same as someone using ten-dollar words in conversation they don’t really understand. I’m drafting Tulo because of position scarcity! That’s you after reading an ESPN analcyst. We talk about position scarcity on our first fantasy baseball podcast of the year, too. At least I think we do under some of the jazzy music. Our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater shows Jimmy Rollins was the top shortstop last year at 36 overall. Maybe what everyone means by position scarcity is that there’s scarcely anything good at that position. It seems like everyone understands to punt catcher, but shortstops get people all greedy like Scrooge McDuck. Let’s assume Tulo doesn’t get hurt and gives you my projected stats: 83/25/98/.288/7. To draft him, you had to skip, say, Fielder (they are back-to-back in ESPN’s rankings), so you missed out on 94/39/117/.291/1. Then you grab, Ryan Howard later for 79/30/98/.245. So you got 162/55/196/.265/7. Now if you got Fielder and Jed Lowrie, you would’ve had 146/56/179/.275/3. That’s essentially the same thing, and you tell me who you feel more confident about Tulo or Fielder? Also, Lowrie can be had about 100 picks after Ryan Howard. Finally, if you were to go by ESPN’s projections, they have J.J. Hardy projected for 92/27/79/.267. That’s obviously bonkers, but how different is that than Tulo? Then there’s the fact that the majority of shortstops get value from the steal. SAGNOF! What’s the difference here between ESPN’s projections: 73/6/53/.278/21 or 77/9/47/.275/24? Barely much at all, right? One is Andrelton and one is Aybar, but they give them about an eighty draft pick difference. There were only three shortstops that earned more than $20 (barely) last year. Don’t get caught up in position scarcity. This is a (legal-in-all-countries-except-Lichtenstein) supplement to the top 20 shortstops for 2013 fantasy baseball. Click on the player’s name where applicable to read more and see their 2013 projections. Anyway, here’s some shortstops to target for 2013 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
So this is weird, but the top 20 shortstops for 2013 fantasy baseball are deeper than the top 20 2nd basemen for 2013 fantasy baseball. Here, my new favorite BFF, Josh Rutledge, is ranked 10th. On the 2nd basemen post he was ranked 8th. The middle tiers for the shortstops goes on forever, then it falls off a cliff, ending with a Cliff. (Symmetry points!) For those in leagues with a middle infidel, you have the answer to where you are drafting that slot from. Up until last year, I usually gave shortstops the short end of the stick with my drafting. I’d grab one late and that was that. I still don’t see any way I’m drafting a top shortstop. I honestly can’t remember the last time I drafted a 1st or 2nd round shortstop, and I play in about ten leagues per year. I could see grabbing one or even two from the 4th ranked guy here until the 19th ranked guy, where I’ll probably only have one 2nd baseman. Last year it was the opposite. As with the other top 20 rankings, I point out where I think tiers start and stop and my projections. All the 2013 fantasy baseball rankings can be found under that thing that says 2013 fantasy baseball rankings. Unsuccinct! Anyway, here’s the top 20 shortstops for 2013 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
You say Alcides Escobar, I say Jean Segura…Let’s call the whole thing off! That’s you and the co-owner of your fantasy team right before your eyes lock after twelve years of friendship and things suddenly get weird. “Doode, you have nacho cheese on your lip and it’s in a tear drop shape.” “What?” “Nothing. Wanna play touch football? Our team needs a tight end.” On a side-sidenote, doesn’t Jean Segura sound like an actor from the 1950′s? I imagine him lurking in the shadows of Vienna’s back alleys. Jean Segura is…The Third Man!… with Joseph Cotten and Ryan Raburn. “Between Switzerland and Milwaukee, they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock and Miller beer.” That’s Dead Orson Welles schooling you as he waits in line for Zsa Zsa Gabor. “Is she coming or what?!” That’s still Dead Orson Welles. Okay, enough hullabaloney, Segura just missed the cutoff of 150 major league ABs for a 2013 fantasy baseball rookie post, so here he is as a sleeper. Indeed, because I’m yawning. Thanks, Random Italicized Voice. What if I told you Segura once stole 50 bases in the minors? Does that hold your interest? Are you still talking to me? No, I’m talking to everyone. Sure, that was in A-Ball, but guys don’t just steal 50 bases for s’s and g’s if they’re slow as dog balls. Also, he stole 37 bases last year in the minors in about two-thirds of a season. Add an extra third and you have 50+ steals, and don’t even get me started with what he can do with that extra leftover 1%. Have your interest piqued now? I’m still drowsy, but go ahead. Ugh. So what can we expect of Jean Segura in 2013 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Despite his unfortunate name, Homer Bailey pitched the first Reds’ no-hitter since 1988 last night, completely shutting down the Pirates down-and-out offense, allowing just 2 base runners on an error and a walk and striking out a career high 10 batters.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Brandon McCarthy had surgery and is likely done for the year. I’m sure no one wants to see McCarthy leave the rotation like that, even Daniel Straily. It reminds me of the time in Little League when I finally got a chance to play because Billy Brunswick had chicken pox.Please, blog, may I have some more?