Fantasy Baseball Advice

The title was part of a special Simpsons that Kim Jong Il commissioned where Ralph Wiggum’s mouth is jammed shut full of Korean bean paste.  Stupid American!  Last year in 317 ABs, Shin-Soo Choo had 14 HRs and 4 steals while batting .309.  Though, as I used to say to one ex-girlfriend, “Beware the small sample size.” Hmm… Maybe that’s oversharing.  Choo’s last two months were a bit-torrent, to incorrectly use the slang of the kids.  If you were to project Choo’s last year stats out over a full season with a full-time job, you get the wrong idea.  He’s not a 25+ home run guy.  The good thing (as of right now), he does have the full time job.  In 2009, we should expect Shin-Soo Choo to have less power than he showed, but more speed. Think more along the lines of 20 home runs and 10 steals. To give you an old school, random idea of who to expect, Baseball-Reference says Shin-Soo Choo is most like Marty Cordova.  That seems about right.  Marty went 16/11 in his 2nd year of full-time duty… (BTW, A big, warm Razzball welcome to Marty Cordova as he Googles himself. Hope you’re wearing your SPF while you tan.) …I’d think Shin-Soo Choo could pull off about the same as Marty C.   I’d put his 2009 projections at about 19/11/.280.  Not Ryan Ludwick from last year as Berry said, but helpful.  Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:

BUY

Jason Kubel – Jason Kubel turns 27 in 2009.  As David Copperfield might say, “That shizz is magical!”  Kubel’s not going to win fantasy baseball’s most valuable player award in 2009.  He may not win Most Valuable Twin in 2009, but he can give you usable HRs, Runs, RBIs and average.  I see Kubel’s 2009 projections as 70/24/70/.280.  No, that’s not incredible, but look at Jermaine Dye’s projections, 80/30/90/.275/3.  Sure, Dye’s way more of a lock for those numbers than Kubel, but there’s still a place for Kubel, even if he only plays against righties.

J.D. Drew – Going from Choo to Kubel to Drew is like going from yawnstipating to boring to hated.  Way to attract an audience, Grey!  Drew may be injured by the time you read this, if so, disregard.  If he’s not injured, he should be owned.

James McDonald – I prefer NL starters and love NL West starters.  In particular, much love for Dodgers starters since they should have support.  James McDonald may not be mixed league material, but he could get there real quick.

Joey Votto – Off to a hot start, and it will continue.  As I said in the top 20 1st basemen for 2009, he can jump to Berkman’s level.

Adam Lind – Just when you thought it was safe to start your AL pitchers against the Jays.  For this year, I like Lind better than Snider.

Matt Cain – I said somewhere that he could be better than Lincecum this year.  And that’s me vaguely attributing a prediction to myself!

David Murphy/Marlon Byrd – I’m telling you this platoon can get you… See number 302/3.

Chris Davis – Okay, he’s sucking dog balls right now.  Agreed.  Are people panicking?  Exploit the weak!  He didn’t suddenly lose his 30/100 potential.

Fred Lewis – Beans don’t burn on the grill!  Get up that hill, Lewis.

Manny Parra – I still have faith.  It’s waning gibbous, but it’s still there.

SELL

A.J. Burnett – If you really think he’s going to throw 200 innings this year, you’re fooling yourself.  You know what happens when you fool yourself?  You end like that guy who eats a lunchmeat sandwich out of a Ziploc bag and thinks he has friends, then no one shows up at his karaoke birthday party.  If you don’t know that guy… Lay off the lunchmeat!

Chris Getz – See a quarter of a centimeter below.

DeWayne Wise – These two suck.  Don’t worry, Guillen will move them both down soon as he *pinkie to mouth* wisens up.

Mike Aviles – My preseason predictions for him are 80/10/55/.295/10 — Do you know how boring that is in actuality?  You’re looking at three-quarters of a home run or three-quarters of a steal every week and a half to two weeks.  Belch.

Aubrey Huff – I hate to sell low on people, but if you can find a sucker leaguemate who thinks last year can happen again.  Unload the Huff.

Chris Ray – Outside of keeper leagues, drop this guy until he figures it out.

Bronson Arroyo – Carpal tunnel syndrome.  Hampers his pitching and guitar playing.  Two birds, one stone.

Edinson Volquez – I don’t own him in any league and I told you I was done with Volquez in the top 20 starters for 2009 post.  He’ll have better starts than his Wednesday one, but he’s closer to a 4.25 ERA pitcher than a 3.50 one.

Joe Saunders – He looked great in the Opening Day start.  He was facing the A’s offense.  They’re not so good.

Alex Rodriguez – Rather than a Sell, this is more of a Hold.  No, not because A-Rod seems like he would enjoy cuddling.  A-Rod is aiming for a late-April return.  Will he be the A-Rod from before the hip injury, but after his cousin was injecting him in the ass?  Will he return to in medias res injection levels?  Will he have a setback?  Will he say the hell with baseball and join Madonna on her “Buff Old Ladies” tour of Africa?   Do I even know what ‘in medias res’ means?  Lots of questions need to be answered.  But, guess what, Maverick?  If you own A-Rod, you’ve already invested in the draft pick for him.  You can’t go back on that now.  So rather than selling him for a 4th round pick you could’ve just drafted instead of him, just hold him and hope he returns to form.

Coming to the Braves outfield this summer, Jordan Schafer — The outfielder to have when you’re drafting more than one.  I picked him up immediately in my sucky fantasy baseball league.  He sounds blahtastic! Maybe 10/15/.250 aka every outfielder that sits on waivers all year that has one good game and you contemplate picking up until you think better of it.  Some have compared Schafer to Sizemore, but he’s much greener.  Though he does know his way around striking out.  He’s jumping straight from Double-A where he K’d 88 times in 297 ABs.  CHONE and ZiPS project averages near .240.  He may turn into a Sizemore, but for 2009 he’s more of a Sighsmore <– pun!  He’s worth a flier in an NL-Only league.  But then again, so is Cha-Seung Baek.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in spring training for fantasy baseball:

Dexter Fowler – Razzball was abuzz yesterday with the news Fowler might make the team.  He really should, and Helton should retire so Ian Stewart can play, but whatever.  Fowler is the total package like Lex Luger.  He can run, mash and had the opportunity to go to Harvard.  He could go 12/30 and hit .285.  Then he’s a 30/30 guy in a year or two.  Keeper leagues should be all over him.  I have Spilborghs on a few teams, but I’d happily move on from him to see Fowler get the chance.  I grabbed Fowler in my Spilborghs leagues for backup until this shakes out.  I’ll drop whoever doesn’t get the job.  Fowler or Maybin? I still want Maybin for now, because Maybin is assured time, i.e., the Marlins play their prospects.  If Helton was on the Marlins, he would already be DH for an AL team.

Joey Devine – Aching Joey Devine is having a real hard time staying healthy.  Looks like Ziegler will start the year as the A’s closer.  He could hold the job for a while depending on effectiveness and Devine’s injury-prone-itude (Made Up Word Of The Day!).

Alexei Ramirez – Was hurt sliding into home, but didn’t seem too serious from the latest news I heard.  Now ease back on the hustle, Alexei.  You’re going to give me a heart attack.  Everyone’s calling you an Alfonso Soriano clone, but there’s no need replicate his injury-prone-itude.  Please don’t turn into this year’s bust.  Please.  I’m begging you now.

James McDonald – Some of you noobs (I called you a noob! Natch!) are going to think it’s Christmas in March, but I wrote a James McDonald sleeper post already.  How’s dem apples?  Delicious, I know.

Dustin McGowan – Jays unsure of his return.  Hey, that makes two of us!

Travis Hafner – Hit first homer of spring and he’s batting .227.  Good to see he’s rounding into mid-season form.

DeWayne Wise/Chris Getz – White Sox one and two hitters?  Alexei batting 8th?  Fields 9th?  Somebody, please help him!  Ozzie Guillen’s gone crazy!

Jason Motte – LaRussa said Motte would see some save chances.  Way to clear that up!  I think Franklin still gets involved in this mess.

J.D. Drew – Will bat fifth for the Sawx.  I think people underrate Drew.  He’s not a bad 4th to 5th outfielder.

David Purcey – I’m not buying into his solid spring training numbers.  I call shenanigans.

B.J. Ryan – Gaston’s talking about using Downs for some saves, but reading between the lines tells me he might just be goading Ryan to man up.  Either way, Downs is the handcuff you want as a Ryan owner.

David Delucci – Sticking with the newly-established David theme, David Delucci goes to the DL.  Lates, Double D.  Ben Francisco and Shin-Soo Choo just got a bump — not a Studio 54 bump.

Emilio Bonifacio – Could be leading off for Florida.  Or Maybin.  Or Hanley.  Or Amezaga when he’s healthy.  I doubt Bonifacio sticks in leadoff, but SAGNOF.  I also really hope to one day see Alfredo Amezaga and Emilio Bonifacio in an Olive Garden commercial.  Now that’s Italian!

After the top 20 outfielders for 2009 fantasy baseball, there’s so many more outfielders to rank I need to turn this sucka to 40.  This is after already going over all of our other 2009 fantasy baseball rankings.  Since this is such a deep position, this list of 2009 outfielders could go to 60.  Crazy, right?  That’s not crazy as in crazy, but crazy as in, “Huh.  Um.  Okay.”  When I’m done with all of the top 20 and top 40 lists, I’m going to do a top 100 and top 300 overall.  That’s right, ya’ll; wonderful just gave birth to awesome.  Now before we get into our top 40 outfielder list, here’s our 2009 Fantasy Baseball Player Rater and our list of all the players with multiple position eligibility.  Anyway, here’s the top 40 outfielders for 2009 fantasy baseball:

21. Corey Hart – This is a continuation of the last tier in the top 20 outfielders post that started at Rios.  This tier ends here.  Flameout, that’s what Hart was towards the end of 2008 and his approach at the plate says this is exactly what we should be expecting.  Hart is susceptible to occasional droughts of unusability (SAT Word!), but he has a hair of upside so he ended up in this tier.  2009 Projections:  75/22/80/.275/20

22. Vladimir Guerrero -  This is a new tier.  This tier goes all the way down to Double I.  I call this tier, “You know what you’re getting and don’t expect any upside in this tier.  They are what they are.”   Sadly, Vladdy got old real fast.  He went from a 40/20 Clemente to a 27/5 Dawson in a two year time period.  2009 Projections:  85/27/100/.310/5

23. Adam Dunn -  40 home runs.  Every year.   Like clockwork.  A big, roly-poly clock with a lack of motivation according to J.P. Ricciardi.  Dunn’s average was a bit lower than it should’ve been for his career BABIP, but that’s like saying your crap smells a bit worse when you eat Thai food.  2009 Projections:  80/40/85/.245/5

24. Magglio Ordonez – I haven’t liked Mags since ‘02.  I’m just not a fan of guys that max out under 30 HRs and have no speed.  There’s some argument to made that he’s better than Vladdy at this point, but I’m not here to make arguments for guys I don’t like.   2009 Projections:  85/24/105/.310/3

25. Bobby Abreu – At some point Abreu’s going to be a 15/15 guy with the downside of 12/12.  You really don’t want to be the last one to leave and shut off the lights on the Abreu 20/20 party.  2009 Projections:  110/17/100/.300/20

26. Johnny Damon – He got a bit lucky last year with his numbers.  He’s not quite a .300 hitter.  From there, you could just read what I wrote for Abreu then subtract a bit of power and it’s Damon.  He’s a 17/20 guy just as easily as he’s a 12/17 guy or as I like to call him, Johnny DeJesus.  2009 Projections:  105/15/70/.285/20

27. Jermaine Dye – Dye is Vladdy minus thirty points on average and a bit more power.  There’s a time and a fantasy team for Dye.  But what fun is a 2nd outfielder with no upside? Not a not a not a, not a damn thing.   What’s Duke Ellington without that swing?  2009 Projections:  80/30/90/.275/3

28. Raul Ibanez – A big part of me wanted to put Ibanez in the below tier with Burrell, but his move to the Phillies lineup and that ballpark has me a bit more excited, i.e., he was yawnstipating and now he’s only midly so.  2009 Projections:  85/25/110/.290/3

29. Vernon Wells – If owning Vernon Wells causes you to have an erection for longer than 15 minutes, you might want to seek a doctor.  2009 Projections:  85/24/95/.280/7

30. Torii Hunter – His HRs peaked at 31 in ‘06 and there’s no reason to think he’s going to get above that number.  He’s Abreu with less stability on average and I’s instead of a Y.  2009 Projections:  85/24/85/.275/17

31. Jay Bruce – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here to Pence.  This tier I like to call, “They might not do anything but strikeout a lot, but they’re worth the risk.”  When Jay Bruce was called up to the majors, he did a Triple Lindy into the hearts of fantasy owners.  Then people called him a nipple-ringed bust.  Well, don’t let last year scare you away from Jay Bruce in 2009.  2009 Projections:  85/30/90/.280/10

32. Ryan Ludwick – There was some discussion on the Josh Hamilton in 2009 post about Ludwick’s potential.  Rudy said this, “(Ludwick’s) K rate is 27% which is well above (Carlos) Quentin (16%) and (Carlos) Lee (11%). Ludwick’s .299 last year was a fluke (.349 BABIP) – with his swing and miss rate, he’s a better bet for .250 than .300.”  And that’s me quoting Rudy!   2009 Projections:  85/30/100/.275/3

33. Krispie Young – Unlike the Diamondbacks last year, you don’t want Krispie on the same team as Dunn, but as a cheap 25/20 guy Krispie’s got value.   2009 Projections:  80/25/80/.245/20

34. Brad Hawpe – Hawpe’s splits in 2008 against lefties weren’t as dramatic as they were in the past, but even if you want to slot him in only against righties in daily leagues, he’s worth the draft pick.  He’s nothing flashy, but he’s solid without any severe downside.  2009 Projections:  70/30/95/.280

35. Hunter Pence – Leaving the plate from April through June of last year, Pence says, “Make adjustments, stupid!”  In the 2nd half of the season, Pence says, “Now you’re cooking with gas.”  I’m not sure if he is completely done struggling yet, but if Pence was completely out of the woods, would it make a sound?  Yup, a pretty big one.  2009 Projections:  85/28/95/.275/10

36. Pat Burrell – Here we are in another tier.  This tier goes down to Drew.  I call this tier, “You know exactly what you’re getting, and you’re getting less than the last tier where you knew exactly what you were getting.”  You can see why I wanted to place Ibanez in this tier.  Anyway… With Pat Burrell, you get 30 HRs and a .250 average.  2009 Projections:  70/30/85/.250

37. Milton Bradley – With Milton Bradley, you’re getting a headcase that is not going to give you more than 400 ABs.  The great thing about Bradley going the distance (more or less) last year was we were able to see what he’s capable of.  He’s capable of 22 HRs and 5 steals. Um, okay.  2009 Projections:  60/18/75/.290/4

38. J.D. Drew – J.D. Drew, Nomar Garciaparra and Rickie Weeks get onto your crosscountry flight, do you get off?  2009 Projections:  80/22/75/.280/5

39. Carlos Gomez -  Now for the last tier of the top 40 outfielders for 2009.  I call this last tier, “Probably not the 39th thru 41nd most valuable outfielders, but I’m just pointing out some upside guys.”  There’s a chance for 10 HRs and 40 steals with CarGo.  Granted, his average might be tremendously bleh.  I wasn’t crazy about CarGo last year, and I’m not completely sold on him yet, but a sleeper is a sleeper is a sleeper.  I could have wrote Denard Span here instead of Gomez, but he’s not as exciting to me.   2009 Projections:  90/10/60/.260/40

40. Lastings Milledge – At some point early on last year, I said get rid of Milledge.  He’s not ready yet.  He needs more time to season and absorb some of his juices.  Of course, Bowden left him on the grill for those first four months, and, by August, Milledge started to finally cook.  2009 Projections:  75/18/90/.280/20

After the top 40 outfielders for 2009 fantasy baseball, there’s a lot of names, but here’s two that stand out:

Cameron Maybin – I already went over a Maybin 2009 post so I’m not going to belabor the point.  Let me just say, SAGNOF.  Okay, I’ll say one more thing, Ellsbury in 2008.  2009 Projections:  85/5/50/.280/40

Delmon Young – He has only 26 HRs in over 1300 ABs.  Well, this is supposed to be in favor of him so ignore that.  Young is a hot head that hasn’t shown an ounce of potential.  Oops, that’s not positive either.  Um, he’s still only 23.  There, that’s positive!  And he can throw a bat at an ump harder than anyone else.  Shoot, there I go again.  2009 Projections:  70/15/85/.295/15

I don’t like Brandon Webb. Why, Grey? Why the hard feelings? Did he have sex with your sister and then make you smell his fingers? No, you sick bastard. In 2004, I owned Brandon Webb in a league that counted Ks minus BBs and Webb had 119 walks that year, which is about twice his usual amount. I left that season vowing never to draft him again. So what did he do since my vow? He went on to become one of the top pitchers in the game. Did he become great as a personal vow of vengeance against me? Probably. Now just because Brandon Webb wants to be petty doesn’t mean I have to be, too. So while he has sucked dog balls over the last month, am I celebrating his struggles during Mojito Night at Case de Grey? No, it’s not necessary. A 6.05 ERA in June is bad. He knows. I don’t need to point out the obvious. Only 14 strikeouts in 22 IP is dreadful. In his last two games his ERA is 9.58. That’s 11 ER in 10.1 IP. Ugh and ugly. So this is great news for me because I get to see Webb struggle, but even better news for all of you that don’t own him. Not simply for the schadenfreude glee you get from seeing your friends miserable. (But that helps!) No, his recent struggles opens up a buying opportunity. Last year his Pre-All Star break ERA was 3.37; Post-All Star was 2.56.  His three year average against is .256 before the break and .239 after. I’m not a huge fan of trading for pitchers, especially not top ones, but while Webb struggles, there might be a chance to get him cheaper than usual. So if you need to get a pitcher, Webb should get better. Anyway, here’s some other players to buy and sell in fantasy baseball:

BUY

Chris Davis – Mentioned this morning. How’s that for timeliness?

Fred Lewis – On one hand, he has a name that sounds like he should be an 80s sitcom character, on the other he has 6 HRs and 13 steals. Consider him a weak man’s 30/30. Say 10/30?

Steven Pearce – Starting to hit everything he sees out of the park. Pirates prospect should get a look soon once the Pirates realize they should be playing for next year. (Yes, they should’ve been playing for next year in March. That’s cute. Did you think up that one on your own?)

Vladimir Guerrero – He already made one Buy list. Guess what? I’m still buying. Not because I think he’ going to go 40/40 after the break, but I do think he will be better than he has been and his price tag is extremely low right now.

Jim Thome – I noticed he was on waivers in one of my ten team leagues. Hmm… Once interleague is over, I’m picking him up. As a utility guy, he’s that bad? (That was rhetorical!)

Wandy Rodriguez – Well you came and you gave without taking, but I sent you away, oh Wandy… Where else do you go to get your fantasy baseball and Barry Manilow fill in one place? (That’s not rhetorical.)

Ryan Church – He should be back this weekend from his concussion. (On a side note, I was hit by a truck in college, knocking me into a coma. Long story short, I was back within the week getting drunk on Lansdowne. The truck was bigger than Marlon Anderson. Seriously, Willie might have made a misstep chucking Church back in there the next day, but now Church’s moving close to pulling a Kotchman.)

Gary Sheffield – Sheffield hates you. He just does. There’s no rhyme or reason. He especially hates those who think he can’t play anymore. To prove your stupid face wrong, he will continue to hit and prove his worth. But Sheff has the distinction of being both a Buy and a Sell. See below why he’s a “Sell.” (Talk about hedging my bets!)

SELL

Gary Sheffield – He’s old and steroids are now banned. Nagging injuries become DL stints and “Sheff needs a day off.” It’s hard for me to hate on Sheff too much; Sheff talks about himself in third person. Grey likes that, but Grey also is not picking Sheff up in any league.

Carlos Pena – If Pena was dropped in any league while he was injured, he’s worth grabbing to see if he can get hot. But, like Chief Jay Strongbow, I have my reservations. Then again, I used to think George Michael was straight, so I’ve been wrong in the past. Wait, this sounds like a Buy. Yeah, it is sorta (Grey’s hedging again!), but I also think Pena will be a season long bust and if Pena gets hot I think he should be sold immediately before he gives you a .220 average.

Francisco Liriano – He might be a Buy again next week, but for now, I’m dropping him. He’s looked bad in his last two minor league starts.

Kurt Suzuki – He had two home runs in the last two weeks and now he’s a hot add. An arm wrestling match between Suzuki vs. Kendall would last for three hours with one of them quitting because of a broken nail.

Eric Stults – I loved him as Rocky Dennis. Is he some kind of wonderful? Eh.

J.D. Drew – He will break your heart, just ask Philly.

Milton Bradley – He hates you more than Sheff. Larry King seems to think Milton Bradley should add “Fun For All Ages” at the end of his name. I think Milton Bradley would Chacon the air from your lungs if he heard you say that.

Aaron Harang is not a bad pitcher. Actually, he hasn’t even been bad this year. (Okay, he hasn’t been good either.) If I may turn my hat crooked, Harang just had some straight-up bad luck, yo. You want numbers? How about these? His BABIP .335, that’s bad luck. His K/9 is around 8. That’s very solid. Three year ERA, 3.77. He’s at 4.33. So that should come down. He’s a workhorse, so that’s a lot of IP with good numbers. Going forward, Harang should have good numbers across the board minus wins; those I can’t guarantee. But chasing wins is a losing man’s game. (Hey, that was a pretty clever turn of a phrase. If I had an internet page of quotes like Oscar Wilde or Mitch Hedberg, that would be 17th. 16th would be, “Can I get an Amen, Sherman Hemsley?” and 18th would be “Dance With Me here, Orleans.” But I digress.) So what do you do with this Harang-a-tang of info? You go trade for him, that’s what you do. Anyway, here’s some other fantasy baseball players to buy or sell:

BUY

Robinson Cano – On my gravestone it will say, “I told you I was ill” and my legacy will be pimping Cano for two months straight.

Jo-Jo Reyes – Someone mentioned in the comments yesterday that they haven’t heard anything about him. Reyes has really gone under the radar for me. I only mentioned to pick him up here, here, here, here, here. The first mention was a day after his first start of ‘08. If you guys (and possibly one or two girls, but highly doubtful) want, change your fantasy baseball password to what I use, “GreyIsFortified” and I’ll do your drops and adds.

Chase Headley – Kouzmanoff has done a lot of nothing since last year. Now he’s supposedly suffering from a sore back.

Jeff Francis – Very serviceable coming into this year until he was completely derailed in his quest to match Snell in a game of onedownmanship. His next game is against the Royals. If he pitches well, he’ll be a hot add. You’ve been warned. Or as they say in knitting circles, you’ve been yarned.

Jeff Baker – Rudy liked him coming into the year, then he fell out of favor (Baker, not Rudy). Rudy’s adding him all over the place again.

Kory Casto – On most days, he’s starting in place of Wily Mo Pena; I like Casto in NL-Only leagues. But remember, “Person who dance with Nats is easily bored.”

Jeff Keppinger – I wait with bated breath to start him in a NL-Only league. (BTW, it is bated, not baited. Check yo’self, fool.) Keppy’s about a week away from coming back.

Mike Aviles – Seems like people are falling over themselves to add this dude. I can understand it. As I’ve said many times before, when you’re dealing with MI, CI, UT or fifth starters, you want to take a gamble. There’s no point in fielding a boring, safe guy. (That’s not to say there’s no point in fielding a productive, safe guy. There is a difference. Figuring out the difference was my minor at The Fantasy Baseball College of Charleston.)

Eric Byrnes – Nope, I don’t like him, but I feel like no one likes him at this point. If everyone’s zigging, why aren’t you zagging? Would be worth seeing how cheaply you can grab Byrnes. I’d think you can get him for next to nothing and he could prove a valuable fifth outfielder in the 2nd half of the year.

Josh Willingham – It says he’s owned in 93% of all ESPN leagues. Now I’m assuming 99% of ESPN leagues are drafted in March then the owners never look at their team again. If this is not the case and people have been holding onto Willingham and wasting a lineup spot all of this time, you are going to make me blow a blood vessel. Now everyone who dropped Willingham, you can go get him again.

SELL

Jake Peavy – I love Peavy, but as I mentioned a few weeks ago, I’m selling. Call me conservative, but I can’t wrap my mind around pitchers with recent arm troubles.

Kevin Kouzmanoff – See Headley, Chase or about three and two-thirds of an inch above.

Hiroki Kuroda – He wasn’t that bad when he was in there, but now he has shoulder tendinitis. Punt.

J.D. Drew – With my hands in my pockets, I stood next to J.D. Drew as he talked to Manny. I waited for an introduction. They laughed about Youkilis’s party out on The Cape. Apparently, Manny read from his journal of poems that he wrote while in left field. They laughed and I punched Drew in the mouth.

Joe Saunders – I think he’s already been on a Sell List. Hmm… Well, here he is again, because he’s keeping up this unsustainable start!

Aaron Cook – Full disclosure, I’ve had him in a mixed ten team league for two months and have reaped a lot of his benefits. I know he’s not really this good; everyone knows this. This isn’t a “sell” as much as a “be glad for what you got and be ready to drop.”

Joe Nathan – I could’ve put Mariano Rivera here instead of Taipei Slinklo or any other top closer. (I could’ve even put Beanie McDougalston, but that’s a made up name.) Because at the end of the year, when everything’s said and done, do you ever look in the mirror and say, “I am so glad I had Taipei Slinklo. And damn my hair looks good,” or do you say, “I’m glad I traded Joe Nathan for Harang. And damn my hair looks good?” You tell me. Tell me!