Jason Marquis

Scott Evans

Two-Startapalooza — Week 8

| Fantasy Baseball Two Start Pitchers | 61 Comments

by:

The week 8 two-start landscape is particularly cruddy. Sure, if you’ve got a Kershaw- or Miller-type two-starter you’re set; you’re awesome. Good for you. Those of us perusing the wire for our two-starters, though, are left with mostly turds. It’s really bad. We have ten dudes in the “DON’T START” tier. Our previous high in that department was six, and that week is the only other with more than three in the bottom tier. Maybe I’m just in a pessimistic mood, but I truly don’t trust the bulk of the week 8 crop. Take it easy on the two-start streaming this week.

As always, probable pitchers are subject to change. For a look at all fantasy baseball streamers, click that link.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Price In The Middle Of Triceps Injury, Word

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 866 Comments

by:

Because I can’t have anything nice. That is the answer to why David Price left the game injured. For those of you worried about me, I’m gonna be okay. I have the love of a good cougar. Too bad she can’t pitch for my goddamn fantasy team! Why do you laugh at me, Fantasy Baseball Overlord? Fantasy Baseball Overlord, “Because you traded Machado for him and no man’s love will come before myself or Machado.” “I didn’t know. Is this a new fantasy commandment? All I saw was David Price’s K-rate was down last April too and he went on to win the Cy Young?!” “Are you interrogating me? The man who molded Billy Butler’s moobs with my own two hands.” Sorry, have I not serviced you correctly? Would you like a reach around? Do you have to rain frogs down on my team? Hello? Oh, I guess I lost him, stupid iPhone. And I lost David Price too. So, Price left because of triceps tightness. Hopefully after a DL stint, he’ll be back to his old dbnsjicns Oops, will cross my fingers when I’m done with the post. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Elbow Does In A Putz Once Again

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 1,067 Comments

by:

Diamondbacks said J.J. Putz needs elbow surgery. Imagine the doctor misreads Putz’s chart and J.J. walks out with a new putz that is an arm, elbow to hand. Would that have him get to third base and home all with one swing of the bat? It would help him avoid that awkwardness when you try to hug and undo a girl’s pants. He could also towel himself down while opening a door. Actually, this sounds like a plus-plus, or rather, a putz-putz! I’m reinventing the knuckle shuffle! The Diamondbacks also officially announced yesterday what I announced the day before, Heath Bell would be the closer. Ya know this means he’s going to crap your face and call it Google Glass, right? You know this, right? I do, and I still grabbed him. I’d also grab David Hernandez in case the only thing Bell rings in are blown saves. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Scott Evans

Two-Startapalooza — Week 4

| Fantasy Baseball Two Start Pitchers | 98 Comments

by:

Welcome back, two-start hoarders. The awful weather this April has made things a bit more challenging, as two-starters keep getting bumped from one week to the next. The coming week has a seven-game slate for most clubs, and obviously we’re hoping for fewer postponed contests, but keep in mind that Tuesday’s two-starters could easily slide into the two-start slot for week 5.

As always, probable pitchers are subject to change. For a look at all fantasy baseball streamers, click that link.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Sky

2013 Padres Fantasy Baseball Preview

| 2013 Fantasy Baseball, 2013 Fantasy Baseball Team Preview | 58 Comments

by:

We at Razzball realize that exporting our views across the country has damaging consequences on the blogosphere. To help make amends, we are reaching out to leading team blogs and featuring their locally blogged answers to pressing 2013 fantasy baseball questions regarding their team. We feel this approach will be fresher, more sustainable, and require less energy consumption (for us anyway). The 2013 Padres Fantasy Baseball Preview comes courtesy of JBox from Gas Lamp Ball.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Puma Sneaks Away With Torn Meniscus

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 501 Comments

by:

Lance without an ACL isn’t NE good.  With a torn meniscus, Lance Berkman is only out for six to eight weeks.  “Hello, I’m Keith Morrison of Dateline.  Today’s story is about an aging vet.  A vet that the media began reporting as finished.  Done.  But where this vet saw the end, his knee saw just a setback.  Also, on tonight’s Dateline:  Can you get cancer from playing with your cat?”  Berkman and I haven’t always seen eye to eye.  Last year, he berated me in the comments for not believing in him, then disappeared this year when he wasn’t going well.  I hold no ill feelings towards him.  That competitive edge that drove him to compete also drove him to comment on our site.  Last year, A-Rod missed 6 weeks with a torn meniscus.  I’d put him and Berkman around the same level of gimpiness.  So Lance B.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Logan Morrison Can’t Tiptoe Through His Two Lips

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 117 Comments

by:

Logan Morrison was optioned to Triple-A New Orleans.  Easy to say he was demoted because of his struggles since the All-Star break, but what fun would that be?  He just started to hit again — 4 for his last 11 with a homer and steal.  As Fredi Gonzalez and Dan Uggla before him, Logan’s run out of town by the Han-Man.  Easily having his worst season, it’s pretty incredible the nerve Hanley has putting his full 5-hour energy drink towards getting rid of Morrison.  Billy the Marlin would like to demonstrate the size of Hanley’s cojones.  I imagine Logan won’t be down in New Orleans longer than a couple of weeks so don’t do anything rash in deep keeper leagues.  Hopefully Morrison doesn’t take a bath in that French-influenced city.    Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Brian Wilson – Out with a back pain.  A back issue sent him to the DL in April, so if this a recurrence it could be trouble with a capital beard.  Romo would be the first option out of the bullpen but he has a tender elbow — I always prefer al dente.  Next up, Affeldt, who’s voiced by Gilbert Gottfried, but he’s a lefty so the Giants might just go with matchups as they did yesterday turning to Ramon Ramirez aka Ram-Ram.

Please, blog, may I have some more?