Fantasy Baseball Advice

There’s a theorem that says if you gave a monkey a typewriter and an infinite amount of time, it could produce a Shakespearean sonnet.  My question is, what if every monkey with a typewriter writes something more ingenious than anything Shakespeare ever came up with, but since we don’t have monkey brains (entirely), we don’t understand it?  Deep Thoughts with Grey Albright.  As for the theorem, how much monkeying around does it take in Boston to get one Bard?  The Red Sox got the infinity part of the theorem right (Aceves’s ERA and WHIP), and they got what you usually get from a monkey and a typewriter… Crap thrown against a wall.  Mark Melancon’s ERA is 36.00 and WHIP is 5.00, which looks downright beautiful compared to Alfredo Aceves’s ERA and WHIP which are just letters — INF, and if you owned Aceves for fantasy you know the INF stands for I am Now F***ed.  To be, or not to be:  the real question is who will close for the Red Sox?  Bobby Valentine hinted they might go to Daniel Bard.  Valentine doth protest too much, methinks!  Of course, Bard should be the closer.  You mean the one pitcher with the stuff to close that is now in the rotation that doesn’t have starter stuff?  Over the last three years, Bard has the third most Holds, 213 Ks and 1.06 WHIP in 197 innings.  But no Holds, Bard, now.  Thine own self be true, and thine self is a closer.  Give him saves.  In the meanwhile, trattorias in Boston’s North End are adding Fedupfitzy Alfredo to their specials.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Clay Buchholz – 4 IP, 7 ER, 10 baserunners, 2 Ks.  This Tigers/Red Sox series lived up its billing, and that billing was, “Both teams have one ace, then agita.”

Austin Jackson – 4-for-6, 3 runs yesterday and 8-for-14 in the series.  In related news, Vanity sang her big hit, Nasty Girl, at karaoke.

Max Scherzer – 2 2/3 IP, 7 ER, 10 baserunners, 3 Ks.  If Max Scherzer sounds like a character that Michael Chabon created, then yesterday the Nazis won.

Doug Fister – Off to the DL with a costochondral strain.  That’s what you get when you eat too many $1.50 hot dogs at Costco.

Miguel Cabrera – 3-for-5, 5 RBIs and a homer.  On Saturday, 2 homers and 3 RBIs.  Now hitting .455, which coincidentally is his BAC.

Matt Cain – 6 IP, 5 ER, 8 baserunners, 4 Ks.  The Giants three-headed ace (Lincainbum?, Caincecumgarner?) didn’t fare so well in Arizona as the Giants’ petition to play their next series in Arizona in the Grand Canyon.

Brandon Belt – 1-for-10 this weekend with 5 Ks, as he was out-hit by his bench replacement Brett Pill (1-for-1 with a homer).  I’m not making excuses, but I think for Passover Brandon Belt was replaced by his Jewish doppelganger.

Buster Posey – 2-for-4 with a homer and no broken ankles.

Aaron Hill – Homered twice on Saturday.  Love to see him combine his crazy homer year of 2009 and crazy steal year of 2011.  Imagine 36 homers and 21 steals from Aaron Hill.  Will take a whole lotta tryin’ to just get up that Hill.

Bryan Shaw – Got the save yesterday since Putz recorded saves in the first two games of the season.  Nothing to see here, the Diamondbacks just aren’t jerking around with their Putz.

Jay Bruce – Hit his 2nd and 3rd homers yesterday.  I’m Eskimo-kissing Jay Bruce on all of my fantasy teams.

Zack Cozart – 1-for-3 yesterday and hit a homer on Saturday as he bats .545.  You don’t want to know what I’m doing to Cozart on all my fantasy teams.

Heath Bell – 1/3 IP, 2 ER as he joined every reliever in major league baseball and blew the save.  Why do I feel like 2012 is the year we all do Chinese fire drills on closers?

Chris Perez – Got the save yesterday after I got to the red light, ran around the car, grabbed Pestano and got back in the car.  I’m sure we’ll hit another red light by Wednesday.

Carlos Santana – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs with 2 homers.  I don’t own Carlos Santana anywhere, but as long as he’s not doing duets with Rob Thomas I’m happy.

Corey Hart – 3 HRs over the weekend.  Shame on those of you who didn’t get the memo that he does really well overcoming spring training injuries in even years.

Ryan Braun – Homered on Sunday.  The homer is under review because it was postmarked on Friday.

Fernando Rodney – 2 outs, 2 saves over the weekend.  First Farnsworth, now Rodney.  Joe Maddon is like the Crappy Reliever Whisperer.

B.J. Upton – Expected to return April 20th.  Just think, if the Rays were married to this then they’d have to a wait a lot longer for a B.J.

Carlos Pena – Hit his second homer of the weekend yesterday.  He’s the kind of player that hits 7 homers in 10 games, then 20 Ks in 5 games, so get in while the gettin’ in is good.

Jeremy Hellickson – 8 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks.  Pitched a superb game for the “Grey Says He Hates These Guys, Let’s Make Grey Look Wrong” team.

Mike Minor – 5 IP, 6 ER, 10 baserunners, 6 Ks.  Here’s me yesterday, “Hey, Minor’s through 3 innings with 5 Ks and only one run.  Finally, one of my pitchers is performing.  It’s about time.  I won’t look back at this game, so I don’t jinx it.”  That No-Look/No-Jinx worked out perfectly!  I will now stick my head in the oven.

Lucas Duda – Hit 2 homers on Saturday.  Oh, what a Duda day.

Jason Hammel – 8 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks as he switched bodies with Gio Gonzalez, Madison Bumgarner, Matt Cain and Yovani Gallardo.  Not cool, Jason Hammel, not cool at all.

Vance Worley – 6 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks making his mom, Jo Anne, so proud and me, since he was, like, the only pitcher that I liked that did well this first weekend.  On a serious note, don’t throw out the baby with the fantasy team.  There’s only three games played for most teams.  You want your pitchers to come out and pitch well, but Bumgarner, for instance, had an ERA over 6 last April.  Gallardo’s ERA was also over 6 last April.  You can’t win your league in April, but you can lose it by overreacting.  Chillax is the portmanteau of the day.

Juan Nicasio – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks.  Pitched a terrific game until Rex Brothers blew it for him.  Last time, I buy furniture from him.

Wilin Rosario – Homered in his first start of the year.  Can we get someone to Gillooly Ramon Hernandez?

Bud Norris – 7 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 8 Ks.  Triceps issue behind him, and now unto bigger and better injuries like shoulders and obliques!

Eric Hosmer – Homered in back-to-back games this weekend and had the always-delicious slam & legs on Easter Sunday.  Guessing Moustakas is waiting until next Sunday to do the same.

Pedro Alvarez – 1-for-3 with a homer.  Way to show up to the party 12 months late.

Lance Lynn – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, 8 Ks.  Looking for someone that can come out of nowhere and be valuable?  Here ya go.

Jeff Samardzija – 8 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 8 Ks.  Someone already grabbed Lance Lynn, but you’d prefer a guy with a last name you can’t pronounce?  You’re in luck!

Matt Kemp – ESPN reported, Kemp homered on Sunday to extend his hitting streak to 16 games.  Huh?  Did the Dodgers and Padres play back-to-back-to-back quintupletheaders?

Dustin Moseley – To the DL with a strained right shoulder.  What an odd thing to find in your colander.

Chase Headley – 1-for-2, 4 RBIs and his 1st homer in Petco and equaling his Petco homer output from last year.  Chase “Doing Just Enough To Stay Rostered on Your Fantasy Teams” Headley.

Hector Santiago – With heat from the fantasy baseball community and Nolan Ryan, Robin Ventura finally relented and decided on Hector Santiago to close, saying Thornton will maintain his 8th inning role.  Not sure why it took so long for Ventura to say that.  It’s like the White Sox manager hat is The Mask.

So I got bored this week and decided to look at some deep rooted stats. I was looking for fantasy pitchers who don’t K a lot but are still very useful for fantasy purposes, and wouldn’t you know it, it relates well to a lot of options this week. These guys get overlooked by everyone. I’m here to learn you something. Not all pitchers who have over a 7 K/9 are candidates for rosterability. There are other factors that lead these low K/9 pitchers to greater success, they have peripherals that are better than the guys we roster. It seems that there is an affection toward pitchers who will get you more K’s but hurt your ERA and WHIP as opposed to getting a starter that has a low K-rate and helps with ERA and WHIP. All the starters I list every week are based off the roster status on multiple fantasy services and I usually use less than 50% ownership (with some variances here and there). So with that, I am telling you not to forget about the guys who get it done but go unnoticed because they aren’t Brandon Morrow. They still help just as much as the “productive” players or guys we think are more productive than they actually are. I ask you this:  Would you rather have an ERA of 2.50 with 6 K’s in two starts or an ERA of 4.50 and 12 K’s in two starts?  I understand that guys contribute to both exist, but are already owned and usually the top 30-40 pitchers overall. I’m merely talking about cusp of the roster guys. Enjoy the week to come. (Please keep in mind that pitchers and matchups change.)

ONE START OPTIONS:

6/28
Clayton Richard vs. KC – Paulino

6/29
Carlos Carrasco @ Bal – Arrieta
Paul Maholm @ Tor – Morrow
Tim Stauffer vs. KC – Chen

6/30
Jeff Karstens @ Tor- Villanueva
Mike Pelfrey @ Det – Verlander

7/1
Juan Nicasio vs. KC – Davies
Tim Wakefield @ HOU – Norris
Bronson Arroyo vs. Cle – Masterson

Kevin Correia (@Tor vs. Reyes, @Was vs. Marquis) Should be a line painter he is so good on the road. Home/away splits are hard to ignore. Go look. See told ya. Lack of K’s make him kind of boring. I have to go dust off my Omar Moreno jersey as I told myself I would never wear it until they reach .500 in July.

John Lannan (@Ana vs. Santana, Pit vs. McDonald) ERA at 1.15 over the last 6 starts. Jump on board and ride the hot hand. Low K guys are the Monty Capuletti of fantasy. The Nats are on a pretty decent roll right now.

R.A. Dickey (@Det vs. Porcello, NYY vs. Garcia) Deserves better. Only one win to show for his 2.35 ERA over the last month. Odd stat o’ the day, Metco is a pitchers haven but his ERA is lower on the road by a run.

Jason Hammel (CHW vs. Floyd, KC vs. Francis) Pitching in Colorado stinks. It’s pretty cut and dry, ERA’s get bloated, WHIP’s get taken to the shed. Pitches just bad enough that his offense can’t help him. Last resort for deep leagues this week.

Jason Marquis (@Ana vs. Pineiro, Pit vs. Correia) Has pitched surprisingly awesome and fits the bill for the above mentioned low K guys. Gets hit around a little but pitches to contact so what do you expect? Home ERA in the mid 2’s.

Jordan Lyles (Tex vs. Wilson, Bos vs. Miller) Two tough matchups, both lineups can hit. Pitched okay last week against the Rangers. The Astros pitchers are horrible to chase wins with. K/BB rate of 4/1. Lefties only hitting .208 against.

Nick Blackburn (LAD vs. Billingsley, Mil vs. Greinke) Yet another low K guy, I can’t make this stuff up. June ERA is 2.04.  Wait, it gets better for the unappreciated, home ERA for the year is 2.40. Matchup names are scary, but anyone seen Minnesota play lately. No, go ask Buster Poindexter then.

Ryan Vogelsong (@CHC vs. Davis, @Det vs. Scherzer) You see that thing in the horizon, yeah that’s the ship that sailed. I pimped and pimped for as long as I could but he finally graduated to usefulness. Who is the next american pitcher to come back from Japan? I did the research for ya, it’s Bryan Bullington.

Andrew Miller (@Phi vs. Lee, @Hou vs. Lyles) Watched his first start, he pitched okay, and it was against the Friars. K potential is nice, being a tether ball isn’t. I asked Jerry Remy after the game what he thought, his quote “Not now, kid.” Dynamite stuff, Remdog.

Brandon Beachy (@Sea vs. Bedard, Bal vs. Britton) Prolly the most added guy in any league or format for the next week. The 11 K outing makes everyone think “I want some of that goodness.” Only bad thing I can see is he may give up some taters… Mmmm taters.

Anyone who’s read this site for a minute — an urbandictionary minute, which is actually a long time — knows I have love for Adam Lind.  In an age when the home run is scarce — wow, that sounded like a Ken Burns voiceover — Lind has big time power.  I’m a fan.  Have the pin that reads, “Lind-a-want-stats!”  Sorry, that’s a square pun in a round hole.  Yesterday, he went 4-for-4, 2 homers in his 2nd game back from the DL.  He can still get 30 homers and hits in the heart of a solid order.  I wouldn’t be scared of him, he might just do his best not-this-season Dunn impression.  BTW, Bautista hasn’t hit a homer in 7 games, what a loser!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Shin-Soo Choo – Says DUI is affecting play.  Assuming he doesn’t have to drive relievers in from the bullpen, I say just start drinking before games again.

Jake Peavy – 4 IP, 6 ER.  CBS reported Peavy left start with (groin).  Frankly, I’d be worried if he left a game without (groin).

Alexi Casilla – 7 for his last 11 with three steals.  The window of usability  for Casilla will probably be shorter than Intellivision’s but he’s hot and stealing bases.

Albert Pujols – Clubbed second straight walk off home run.  I know that because it was the big story on Baseball Tonight with, like, seventeen exclamation marks.  Pujols!  Rawr!  He’s back!  Did he go anywhere?  Also, since I usually just watch the games, this was the first time I saw Baseball Tonight in a few years.  I was surprised to find out Doug Glanville has a job.  You think ESPN is like, “Hey, we need a color man– I mean a color commenter–  I mean a commenter– Let’s just hire someone before we get sued.”  Also, Jayson and Laynce Nix’s sister’s got a job.  Her name is Wendi Nix and she has about as much personality as a ill-formed origami crane.  Zach Braddock didn’t have a sleeping disorder, he was just watching too much Wendi Nix.

Lance Berkman – Sat out yesterday after getting a cortisone injection in his wrist.  No more eczema for him.

Ryan Vogelsong – 8 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks.  There’s no rhyme or reason why he should be pitching this well but like Collmenter before him, you should just ride the tiny ship in the bottle or whatever that cliché is.

Jason Hammel – 7 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 4 Ks.  He’s whatever, but this is about my trip up to San Fran this weekend.  I took in a game at Long Distance Carrier Park.  The Giants offense is pathetic.  Without Posey, Belt (out at least a month) and Sandoval, they don’t have one hitter to worry about.  They batted the Latin 37 Tejada, who’s hitting .218 with 1 home run on the year, second.  I’d throw just about any pitcher at them.  On a side note, Giants made such a big deal about Bonds and the record and sticking their heads in the sand when he was selling out their stadium.  Yet, I didn’t see one picture or mention of him anywhere inside the park.  It was like he was Keyser Söze.

Mark Reynolds – Back to back games with a homer.  All brays to Mini Donkey! (But he only has two hits in the last five games.  He’s looking less donkey and more Rob Deer.)

Chris Narveson – 5 1/3 IP, 4 ER, which comes after starts of 4 IP, 5 ER and 3 1/3 IP, 6 ER.  Yeah, he’s completely unownable right now.  Pretty K-rate or not.

Brandon Inge – Out with mono.  Bronson Arroyo just had mono.  Cust kayin’.

Anibal Sanchez – 5 IP, 5 ER, 9 baserunners, 5 Ks.  I don’t think this means he’s done being relevant; he just wasn’t a sub-3.00 ERA pitcher to begin with.  This start did make me happy though, since I foolishly dropped him the first week of the season, and really this is all about me.

Hanley Ramirez – First, he mucks up your team for two months with poor play then he fails to go on the DL for a week.  Hanley doesn’t care about you.

Travis Wood – 4 2/3 IP, 8 ER, 13 baserunners, 3 Ks.  Like a satisfied beaver, I’m done with Wood for now.  Beaver, the animal.  Geez.  It’s with regret it had to come to this, because I do think he has great stuff, but you have to look elsewhere.  Just way too unpredictable.

Drew Stubbs – 2-for-5 with a slam & legs.  Maybe Stubbs was tending to his BBQ empire for the last few weeks, but it’s nice to have him back.

Drew Storen – 1/3 IP, 3 ER yesterday and 8 earned runs in his last 6 appearances.  Riggleman took forever to name Storen the closer but won’t take as long to remove him.  Sean Burnett would be the handcuff.

Mark Teixeira – 3-for-4, 3 RBIs with his 17th and 18th home runs.  If PABST (Post-All-Star Break’s Stats Teixeira) stays bubbling in the 2nd half as is his wont, he’s heading for an MVP year.

Matt Kemp – 2-for-3 and his 3rd home run and 8th RBI in the last two days.  His career is bouncing back a lot better than Chris Brown in the wake of a Rihanna breakup.

Vicente Padilla – Was due back but neck pain has kept him on the DL.  Who’s the Dodgers closer?  Flip a coin.

Rafael Furcal – To the DL with a strained oblique.  Vague!  I’d drop Furcal unless you have “Days on the DL” as a category in your league.

C.J. Wilson – 7 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks.  To be honest, I have a blind spot, middle relievers that become starters.  At this point, if they convert LaTroy Hawkins to a starter, I’m gonna throw my hands in the air and say he’ll be great.

Mitch Moreland – 2-for-4 with his 8th home run as he bats .313 on the year.   I’d love to push him more, but he’s a platoon guy at this point.  He either doesn’t play vs. lefties or doesn’t hit them, which hurts his counting stats (on pace for around 60 RBIs on the year).

Jonathan Papelbon – Daniel Bard got the save yesterday after Papelbon lost his shizz on Saturday with a three run third of an inning and bumped the umpire.  Now Papelbon might get punished by the league.  I’d fine any goofy white guy for chest bumping too.

Joakim Soria – A clean outing or two away from reclaiming the closer job.  Makes sense in a non-sarcastic way.

Jordan Lyles – 4 IP, 4 ER, 6 baserunners, 3 Ks.  Sure be easier to say I don’t like him if he were to give up like 12 baserunners or something.  Well, due to the inexperience and the Astros behind him, you have to be careful starting him in any mixed leagues right now.

Mark Trumbo – Hit his 11th home run and stole his 6th base.  How does he have only 2 less steals than Bourjos?  Not rhetorical!

Carlos Beltran – Left the game after fouling a ball off his ankle.  He’ll probably miss two months.  I’m only half joking.

Miguel Olivo – It’s with much regret I inform you that Olivo now has three homers in three straight games.  I don’t have anything against Olivo per se, but I know as soon as I write Olivo hits them in bunches like he’s dating the Chiquita Banana lady people are gonna come out of the woodwork in the comments asking if they should lose their catcher for Olivo.

Evan Longoria – Rested on Sunday and will return Monday.  Sounds like someone has a God complex.

Week 6 is here, subtle rejoice. Some top minor league guys are getting the call, the closer situations on some teams are still an enigma wrapped in a TLR sandwich and some elite pitching has returned. Now is the time to start gambling on guys that have either underperformed or you have a hunch about. Hunches win fantasy leagues. After all, this is just like playing the lottery, although I have never seen the lotto girl pull an oblique calling the winning numbers. So good luck on all of this week’s endeavors.  Here are the pitching options for the week to come. (Please keep in mind that pitchers and match-ups change.)

ONE START OPTIONS

5/10
Homer Bailey @Hou – Myers
Rick Porcello @Min – Blackburn
Joel Pineiro vs. CHW – Peavy

5/11
Scott Baker vs. Det – Coke
Brandon Beachy vs. Was – Lannan

5/12
Jon Garland @ Pit – Morton
Ivan Nova vs. KC – O’Sullivan

5/13
Gavin Floyd vs. Oak – McCarthy
Wade Davis vs. Bal – Guthrie

Travis Wood (@Hou vs. A. Rodriguez, StL vs. Carpenter) Shows glimpses, then gets pummeled. Gets two starts unless Dusty out smarts us all and uses 6 starters. God forbid he gets out-crazyed by Ozzie.

Jason Marquis (@Atl vs. Hanson, Fla vs. Vazquez) Last start showed the worst case scenario. Is he as good as his first 5 starts? Hell to the no. When healthy he is an innings eater and those, from what I hear, are delicious.

Josh Tomlin (TB vs. Niemann, Sea vs. Pineda) I will lay it out for you nice and simple, he is 3-0 at home. I still think it’s a magic show getting it done. Pitching a run and a half better than his xFIP.

Kevin Correia (LA vs. Lilly, @Mil vs. Greinke) Anyone else notice that the Buccos are pushing .500? 17 wins all of last year on the road, 11 already this year, Oh, and guess what, Correia is 5-0 on the road.

Jake Arrieta (Sea vs. Pineda, @ TB vs. Price) ERA 1.50 lower on the road and lefties are hitting a robust .187, “It’s murda.” No, it isn’t. It is batting average against, but thanks for stopping by JA.

Vance Worley/Joe Blanton (@Fla vs. Vazquez, @Atl vs. Hanson) Mr. Blanton, that is the entrance; you are required to use the exit. Nothing from Worley’s minor league numbers say he should be this awesome. Maybe the four aces are rubbing off on him. Blanton is scheduled to throw a bullpen on Saturday so either starter may get the nod or each may get one, sharing is caring I guess.

Chris Capuano (@Col vs. Chacin, @Hou vs. A. Rodriguez) Watched entire start against SF, a better hitting team would have made it ugly. Seems very predictable. Decent lone star start, in the mountains not so much. Is a left handed Whippopotamus.

Freddy Garcia (KC vs. Davies, Bos vs. Beckett) Played Joe the policeman, on the “What’s goin’ down” episode of That’s My Mama. NY lineup gives anyone a little glimmer, hangs in the same “bloat” as Capuano.

Ted Lilly (@Pit vs. Correia, Ari vs. Collmenter) Lots of talk about him, being added/dropped. He is a 12 win 4 ERA 1.3 WHIP pitcher. To me that spells a perfect number 5 starter in any fantasy league. Ted Lilly rant over, return to your regular scheduled programming.

Jason Hammel (NYM vs. Pelfrey, SD vs. Latos) My secret inside voice tells me he is the best pitcher on the Rox right now, than Chacin’s inside voice texts mine and tells it like it really is. ERA is higher at home, lefties hitting around a deuce.

Holy hell was week 1 long… though it’s always good when your ace goes three times in the first week. Hopefully, everyone has remained calm and not added Alex Avila and Willie Bloomquist to anchor anything not named a boat. It’s way too early to get all ‘Jerry McGuire’ and say, “The fish are coming with me.” This fantasy is a relationship — not a one night stand! Assuming that you drafted well and injuries or appendices don’t get in your way, your team should be built to last. To me, there is nothing sweeter than streaming. It makes your opponent think two things, “Hey, this guy is paying attention” and, “Damn, this guy wants to not only beat me but destroy me.” That is what it’s all about folks. Treat every week like you do the last week of the season and I guarantee those last few weeks will actually mean something. So here are your week 2, less owned, two start fantasy baseball hurlers. Good luck. (Pitchers and match ups may change so please be aware)

Kyle McClellan (@Ari-Enright, @LAD Kershaw) – Duncan is the Rumpelstiltskin of pitching. For now, I’m sold and will be until he hits that wall at 120 innings or so.

Joe Blanton (@Was- Lannan, Fla-Volstad) – Mentally it must suck to be known as the other guy.  No respect? No worries!  Thornton Melon’s got your back… Just stop giving up 7 run leads.

Michael Pineda (Tor-Romero, @KC Francis) – Good stuff, bad offense. Any start for a Seattle pitcher will be a crap shoot for a Win. They just don’t have the ‘O’ to go anywhere but last place.

Jason Hammel (@NYM-Pelfrey, CHC-Coleman) – Colorado’s offense versus a chronic hand licker and a guy who sounds like an female Irish bar keep? Yeah, it depends on the bar.

Brian Duensing (KC-Francis, @TB-Price) – Still SP/RP sexy. Rays are scuffling and Price isn’t as good as some ‘perts are sayin’. None here, of course.

Alexei Ogando (@Det-Verlander, @NYY-Burnett) – Rough match up week for the kid. Wait is 27 years old still a kid? Anyhoo, career high in innings is 41, which includes the minors.

Jesse Litsch (@Sea-Hernandez, @Bos-Matsuzaka) – Tough week for the road warrior pick. I went over Seattle above in a nut shell. Boston is the kid who falls asleep drunk and everyone draws on his face. Until he wakes up and kicks everyone’s ass.

Esmil Rogers (@ NYM- Niese, CHC- Dempster) – Gangly is the best word for him. Looks like an 8 foot octopus wearing a baseball hat. Deceptive delivery, plus lack of video equals fantasy gold until they figure him out.

Kevin Correia (Mil-Marcum, @Cin-Volquez) – Olympics, Kim Jong-il land the pitcher.  The three things we know about Korea.  Somewhere, James Taiwan is yearning for attention. Hard to be the ace of a bad team, usually a match up disaster.

Jeff Francis (@Min-Duensing, Sea -Pineda) – Rule of 2’s for shoulder surgery guys.  Hop on the KC bandwagon now… it’ll prolly run out of gas by June.