And the Prospect Gods looked down at the Cardinals pitching staff and proclaimed, “And so it Shelby…” But the Gods decided to keep Oscar Taveras for themselves — at least for a little while. Bunch of Federalist-loving pigs. So, the Cardinals make up for starting Jon Jay over Oscar Taveras by giving prospect, Shelby Miller, the 5th starter role over non-descript-in-every-way, Joe Kelly. When I say, boo, you say ya. Boo…ya! Boo…ya! Cherimo…ya! Ah, fooled you. In November, I wrote a Shelby Miller 2013 fantasy. There I said, “The final answer on (whether he makes the rotation) will probably be decided on the last few days of Spring Training. In 2012, he was called up towards the end of the season and gave a 10.54 K-rate and a 1.32 ERA in 13 2/3 innings. If you look up that stat line in the thesaurus, its synonym is “lights out.” Due to a butterfly flapping its wings in Indonesia, Miller also had a 10.54 K-rate in Triple-A through 136 2/3 IP. His ERA wasn’t as purdy, but he “re-committed” himself in the 2nd half of 2012 and had a 2.88 ERA in his last ten starts with a 70/7 K/BB. Weird, cause I had an aunt who was “re-committed” and things didn’t turn out half as well. He can be a number one pitcher. When I say that about a 22-year-old, we’re talking about someone having the possibility at a top ten pitcher in all of baseball. Knowing the way Cardinals turn out young men… Um, I mean, knowing the way the St. Louis Cardinals can turn prospects into solid major league pitchers (the Vatican asked me to specify), I wouldn’t be surprised to see Shelby Miller being a productive member of the Cards rotation in 2013. For 2013, I see 10-4/3.63/1.27/155 in 150 innings and 21 starts. That’s a huge projection for a rookie pitcher. And there’s a chance for more.” And that’s me quoting me! I’m in love. He should be owned in all leagues. Yes, even your eight-person league where you own all eight teams. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in Spring Training for 2013 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Mike Moustakas left yesterday’s game with a groin injury that could end his season, which would also end his sophomore slump (the “o” is silent in sophomore, like when you make love to your woman — oofa!) The 2nd season like the 2nd Greek letter is beta.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Erik Bedard is headed to the DL. The Bedarded they come, the Bedarded they fall. So, he has a sprained knee. “Ow, I think I hurt myself getting onto the examination table to have you check my shoulder.” That’s Bedard at the doctor’s office. Right now, the Erich Bedardens are showing the Bennis Carpensheeters a thing or two about staying unhealthy. Keep it sickly, Bedardens! Will be interesting to see if the M’s fill Bedard’s rotation spot with Chris Tillman– Oh, wait. At least the Mariners still have Adam Jones– Oh, that’s right. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Dustin Ackley – Slam and legs with the lefty-on-lefty HR against Everyday Jonny Venters. He’s hitting 5th now for the Mariners, which is like hitting 10th for the Yankees. That said, any MI who can hit 10th for the Yankees, is pretty damn good.Please, blog, may I have some more?
SAT Question: Albert Pujols is to a fractured forearm as Justin Morneau is to playing every day in 2011 and you can’t take him out of your lineup. Only thing worse for Cardinal fans is if Don Denkinger announced Pujols’s fractured forearm while wearing a Wilson Betemit jersey. We never get Pujols in any leagues. I mean, never. This year, we thought we’d go against common practice and pay for him in one league. It’ll take away some money we have for the rest of our team, but at least we’ll have Pujols. *standing in the pouring rain, shaking fist at the sky* Come get some, Fantasy Overlord! So, unfortunately, the slap on Albert’s forearm was harder than the law gave to Tony La Russa when he DUI’d and Pujols will be out for at least 6 weeks.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Vicente Padilla went to the DL with a forearm strain. Maybe it’s was straining to be a fivearm. Oofa! Who am I, Buddy Hackett? Actually, I am. No, I kid. Or do I?! No, I do, he’s dead. Unless I’m writing this post from beyond the grave! Boo! Know what I like most about Matt Guerrier? He’s not Padilla. How’s dem apples? Sour! Then we have Kenley Jansen– “Buh-buh-but, Grey! Who do we own from the Dodgers bullpen? I can’t own everyone. By the way, nice mustache. Primo!” For immediate closer action, I’d own Guerrier, Jansen, Alyssa Milano, in that order. Unless your league counts blown saves, then reverse the order. But — and unless you’re an alien, there’s always a but — I think Jansen ends the season with more saves than Guerrier. The only problem is I think he gets weaned into the job and may not be getting saves regularly at first. Frankly, it’s a committee and too many chefs make too many hors d’oeuvres and not enough entrees, or whatever that cliche is. Oh, and because any great closerousel shituation should keep fantasy owners on their toes, Guerrier pitched the 8th inning in a losing game last night. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Joe Blanton – Yesterday, he was scratched. No word if he’s still itchy.Please, blog, may I have some more?
John Danks had a no-hitter through 6 innings yesterday and ended with a line of 9 IP, 0 ER, 2 baserunners, 7 Ks. That’s Jo-Da showing us how to harness midi-chlorians. Top ten in the AL with my WHIP at 1.13 through 112 innings, have I. Hmmm… Yessss. A Yoda translator, I do not need because I am Jo-Da.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Mets infirmary added a new member yesterday with Johan Santana complaining of elbow soreness. M-E-S-S… Mess, Mess, Mess… I can’t remember another team that has been this Kotchman-bitten. Now pitching for the New York Mets… Angel Pagan. He will also lead-off. I don’t think in spring training when the Mets promised no September collapse they anticipated a June collapse. Johan Santana may need surgery. Or maybe he can return. If you were the Mets, would you press your luck and hope for no whammy? I mean this is more common sense than ‘pert sense. Don’t do anything drastic until we hear more, but, as with anything Mets related this season, plan for the worse. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Jeff Francoeur – Ligament tear in his thumb. Frenchy’s toast? This free swinger says to ball gag that thought. Francoeur thinks he can continue to play. It may be financially motivated… Oh, who are we kidding? No one owns him.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Carlos Quentin returned to play yesterday after taking a two month sabbatical for a foot thingiemaboo-boo. So he DH’d right? Nuh-uh. Oh, Jim Thome? Nope, Ozzie Guillen in his infinitesimal wisdom DH’d Josh Fields in the nine hole. It’s almost like Ozzie’s daring Quentin to stay healthy. Why not give him a hot foot with an M-80? So what can we expect from Quentin for the rest of the season? Best case scenario, has him playing 5 games a week and hitting well (as he did in his rehab assignment). Maybe 15 homers, good RBIs and a .270 average. He’s not going to come without risk. At any point, I’m expecting word that he’ll be out for the year. How’s that for a ringing endorsement? So through one game, Quentin’s 1-for-4 and healthy. Now give us forty-five more games. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Gavin Floyd – 7 IP, 3 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks. Now has an sub-2.50 ERA at home. No one tell him his home is a hitter’s park.Please, blog, may I have some more?
On Sunday, Akinori Iwamura was carted off the field. (No, it wasn’t some sorta Japanese custom when a player makes an out.) So Reid Brignac may get some short-term value if the Rays play him. Right now, they don’t seem committed to that plan. And, frankly, I can see why. He hasn’t exactly been tearing it up in Triple A. The Rays should go to Ben Zobrist aka The Best Home Run Hitter In The World With The Last Name Zobrist. With shortstop eligibility and potentially 2nd base, Zobrist will have value getting everyday at-bats. Much has been made of Zobrist’s out-of-the-blue power surge. The only explanation that seems to be out there is that he worked in the offseason with Jaime Cevallos, The Swing Mechanic. (Turns out he helped Little Jake Current too!) Honestly, I don’t think it matters much for Ben Zobrist since he already has shortstop eligibility. It’s worth a flier to see if the power continues. Just don’t cut anyone too worthwhile for that flier, including Little Jake Current — he’s got power to all fields! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Troy Percival – Hit the DL and made J.P.Please, blog, may I have some more?
This was, as they say in Italy, an Experto Callaspo AL-Only draft. What AL-Only means to me? Thanks for asking, random italicized voice. It means I probably won’t have one pitcher that I would usually have in a mixed league. I contemplated about how I wanted to go about this draft. It’s good to have a game plan, ya know? So I decided, since I don’t really like AL pitchers, I would get solid pitchers anyway. Zoinks! I figured that solid pitchers would be at a premium and if I got my share, I’d be in good shape. Also, from my knowledge of other ‘pert drafts, no one drafts starters early, so while they’re zigging, I decided to zag. “Knowing your opponents’ weaknesses is half the duel,” Aaron Burr. When you see my pitchers, you’ll see I didn’t really get that many great ones, but for AL-Only I have a top three pitching staff going into the season. Then there’s the strategy I employed for hitters. I decided to punt catchers, of course, and up the middle. Punting the MIs was because I knew who I wanted late and I knew guys like Alexei Ramirez would go way early (He went in the 2nd round.) Okay, before I get to my thoughts I jotted down during the AL-Only draft, here’s my co-conspirators:
Fantasy Baseball Dugout
The Fantasy Man
Fantasy Sports Commissioner Training Institute
Advanced Fantasy Baseball
Fantasy Sports R Us
Fantasy Baseball Sherpa
Here’s my team:
C: Taylor Teagarden (19)
1B: Carlos Pena (3)
2B: Asdrubal Cabrera (15)
SS: Jed Lowrie (11)
3B: Brandon Wood (12)
MI: Wilson Betemit (23)
CI: Jason Giambi (10)
OF: Carlos Quentin (1)
OF: Carl Crawford (2)
OF: Vernon Wells (5)
OF: Franklin Gutierrez (14)
OF: Brett Gardner (16)
UT: DeWayne Wise (25)
P: James Shields (4)
P: Joba Chamberlain (6)
P: John Danks (7)
P: Brad Ziegler (8)
P: Brandon Lyon (9)
P: Anthony Reyes (13)
P: Dan Wheeler (17)
P: Kevin Millwood (18)
P: Rafael Betancourt (22)
Bench: Melky Cabrera (20), Wladimir Balentien (21), Matt Thornton (24), Jeremy Sowers (26), Damaso Marte (27)
Notes I jotted down during the draft:
ROUND 1 & 2 – I get Carlos N Carl with my first two picks. Yuck. Seriously, I hate AL-Only. I have no idea where all the good players have gone, but I think it’s into the NL.Please, blog, may I have some more?