Fantasy Baseball Advice

The murmurs of Heath Bell getting traded to another team by July are getting louder.  (BTW, I love the word murmurs.  I really wanted the survivors on Lost to call The Others, The Murmurs.  Wouldn’t that have been awesome?!  Okay, maybe me.)  Prepare for a dozen or so posts titled, “For Whom the Bell Tolls,” at some of our weak sister sites.  And by “weak sister,” I’m talking prison slang and I mean ESPN.  I moved Bell down one whole spot.  I’m not worried in March about someone who might get traded in July.  He will probably drop one or two spots each month until July.  If you get 23 saves, a 1.69 ERA, 1.08 WHIP, 42 Ks in 37 1/3 innings pre-All-Star Break, you’ll be mad you drafted him?  Bee tee dubya, those were his 1st half numbers last year.  Then who knows where he goes.  Maybe Lidge and Madson finally give Manuel a coronary and Bell takes over the closing duties in Philly as Victorino player-manages.  Or maybe Bell goes somewhere else.  You get the picture; it’s still early.  Don’t overestimate-slash-overthink-slash-overrate… Just don’t “over” anything.  Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Every time you go there, you have a thoroughly solid meal. No complaints, except you just paid $12 for a salad when you could’ve went to McDonald’s and stuffed you and your woman for ten schmools and had $2 in quarters left over to make the hotel bed vibrate. These closers are $12 salads.

1. Joe Nathan (Matt Guerrier, Jon Rauch)
2. Jonathan Papelbon (Hideki Okajima, Daniel Bard)
3. Mariano Rivera (Alfredo Aceves, David Robertson, Joba Hughesberlain)
4. Jonathan Broxton (George Sherrill, Hong-Chih Kuo)

Donkeycorns

Imagine you’re following a donkey, who’s wearing a wool cap, through a desert for 1700 miles. Why are you following a donkey? Because he promises you something wonderful and you just need to trust him. Does the donkey talk? Yes. Yes, he does talk. So when you and the donkey in the wool cap arrive at his destination, he removes his the wool cap to reveal a horn. The donkey is a unicorn and his gift to you for your trust is saves. These closers are Donkeycorns.

5. Francisco Rodriguez (+2) (Kelvim Escobar, Eddie Kunz)
6. Heath Bell (-1) (Mike Adams, Luke Gregerson)
7. Carlos Marmol (-1) (Angel Guzman, John Grabow)
8. Joakim Soria (Kyle Farnsworth, Carlos Rosa)
9. Jose Valverde (+1) (Joel Zumaya, Ryan Perry)
10. David Aardsma (-1) (Mark Lowe, Chad Cordero)
11. Brian Wilson (Jeremy Affeldt, Sergio Romo)
12. Francisco Cordero (Arthur Rhodes, Nick Masset, Jared Burton)
13. Huston Street (Franklin Morales, Rafael Betancourt)
14. Rafael Soriano (J.P. Howell, Dan Wheeler)
15. Billy Wagner (Takashi Saito)
16. Brian Fuentes (Fernando Rodney, Kevin Jepsen)
17. Andrew Bailey (Michael Wuertz, Brad Ziegler)
18. Ryan Franklin (Jason Motte, Kyle McClellan)
19. Octavio Dotel (Joel Hanrahan)
20. Leo Nunez (Dan Meyer)
21. Frank Francisco (C.J. Wilson, Chris Ray)
22. Mike Gonzalez (Jim Johnson)
23. Trevor Hoffman (LaTroy Hawkins)

Brain Freeze

I’m going on a picnic and I’m bringing apples, bananas and Kerry Wood– Wait, he just gave up 12 earned runs and hit Asdrubal in the head with a pickoff throw. Brain freeze! Make it stop! Use the following closers at your own risk.

24. Brad Lidge (+3) (Ryan Madson, Danys Baez)
25. Bobby Jenks (-1) (Matt Thornton, J.J. Putz)
26. Matt Capps (-1) (Brian Bruney, Drew Storen)
27. Chad Qualls (-1) (Juan Gutierrez, Bob Howry)
28. Kerry Wood (Chris Perez)
29. Brandon Lyon (Matt Lindstrom, Jeff Fulchino)
30. Jason Frasor/Scott Downs/Kevin Gregg (Jeremy Accardo, The Pigeon That Dave Winfield Killed’s Vengeful Grandson)

Since our last check up no games have been played, but there was movement on the closer rankings.  Was it February Grey getting bored and mixing things up?  Probably, but let’s pretend there’s some logic in my reasoning.  Next to the closers that moved, there’s a plus or minus.   Also, Dotel and Valverde weren’t closers a month ago, so they’ve been added.  I gave you some deets on Dotel.  I went over Valverde in the top 20 closers for 2010 fantasy baseball.  There’s also projections for the top 20 closers.  One other thing, someone in the comments yesterday mentioned how Capps and Dotel were not mock drafted at all.  Sure, mock drafts are wonky.  But I do see this in actual leagues.  All closers should be owned.  If I get to the last three rounds of a draft, I’ll take three more closers on top of the three I already own.  Closers’ value skyrockets once the season starts.  In a ‘pert league on May 1st of last year, I traded Heath Bell and Huston Street for Dan Haren and David Aardsma.  You know when I drafted Bell and Street?  Yeah, end rounds.  Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Every time you go there, you have a thoroughly solid meal. No complaints, except you just paid $12 for a salad when you could’ve went to McDonald’s and stuffed you and your woman for ten schmools and had $2 in quarters left over to make the hotel bed vibrate. These closers are $12 salads.

1. Joe Nathan (Matt Guerrier, Jon Rauch)
2. Jonathan Papelbon (Hideki Okajima, Daniel Bard)
3. Mariano Rivera (Alfredo Aceves, David Robertson, Joba Hughesberlain)
4. Jonathan Broxton (George Sherrill, Hong-Chih Kuo)

Donkeycorns

Imagine you’re following a donkey, who’s wearing a wool cap, through a desert for 1700 miles. Why are you following a donkey? Because he promises you something wonderful and you just need to trust him. Does the donkey talk? Yes. Yes, he does talk. So when you and the donkey in the wool cap arrive at his destination, he removes his the wool cap to reveal a horn. The donkey is a unicorn and his gift to you for your trust is saves. These closers are Donkeycorns.

5. Heath Bell (+1) (Luke Gregerson)
6. Carlos Marmol (+1) (Angel Guzman, John Grabow)
7. Francisco Rodriguez (+1)(Kelvim Escobar, Eddie Kunz)
8. Joakim Soria (-3) (Kyle Farnsworth, Carlos Rosa)
9. David Aardsma (+1) (Mark Lowe, Chad Cordero)
10. Jose Valverde (Joel Zumaya, Ryan Perry)
11. Brian Wilson (Jeremy Affeldt, Sergio Romo)
12. Francisco Cordero (+1) (Arthur Rhodes, Nick Masset, Jared Burton)
13. Huston Street (-1) (Franklin Morales, Rafael Betancourt)
14. Rafael Soriano (+1) (J.P. Howell, Dan Wheeler)
15. Billy Wagner (+1) (Takashi Saito)
16. Brian Fuentes (+1) (Fernando Rodney, Kevin Jepsen)
17. Andrew Bailey (-8) (Michael Wuertz, Brad Ziegler)
18. Ryan Franklin (-4) (Jason Motte, Kyle McClellan)
19. Octavio Dotel (Joel Hanrahan)
20. Leo Nunez (-2) (Dan Meyer)
21. Frank Francisco (-1) (C.J. Wilson, Chris Ray)
22. Mike Gonzalez (-3) (Jim Johnson)
23. Trevor Hoffman (-1) (LaTroy Hawkins)

Brain Freeze

I’m going on a picnic and I’m bringing apples, bananas and Kerry Wood– Wait, he just gave up 12 earned runs and hit Asdrubal in the head with a pickoff throw. Brain freeze! Make it stop! Use the following closers at your own risk.

24. Bobby Jenks (-1) (Matt Thornton, J.J. Putz)
25. Matt Capps (-1) (Brian Bruney, Drew Storen)
26. Chad Qualls (-1) (Juan Gutierrez, Bob Howry)
27. Brad Lidge (-1) (Ryan Madson, Danys Baez)
28. Kerry Wood (-1) (Chris Perez)
29. Brandon Lyon (-1) (Matt Lindstrom, Jeff Fulchino, Jeff Soydoubleshotchino)
30. Jason Frasor/Scott Downs/Kevin Gregg (-2) (Jeremy Accardo, J. Scovin Frasoggs the Third)

Our first look at closers for the 2010 fantasy baseball season, including some recent movees.  I already went over Billy Wagner to the Braves, Lindstrom to the Astros, Rafael Soriano to the Rays and Capps to the Nats.  Since then, Mike Gonzalez is a movee to Baltimore.  Bobby Cox was unable to get fully behind a lefty cl0ser, but that doesn’t mean Mike Gonzalez can’t find success with the Orioles.  The only major negative with Mike Gonzalez is I have to write out Mike Gonzalez’s entire name every time I mention Mike Gonzalez because it doesn’t sound right any other way.  It’s still real early in the preseason for closers.  Sometimes these battles aren’t decided until the last week of spring training (you still have time, Astros!).  So this is a like a Google Map of closers that might lead you down a road closed for construction.  Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Every time you go there, you have a thoroughly solid meal. No complaints, except you just paid $12 for a salad when you could’ve went to McDonald’s and stuffed you and your woman for ten schmools and had $2 in quarters left over to make the hotel bed vibrate. These closers are $12 salads.

1. Joe Nathan (Matt Guerrier, Jon Rauch)
2. Jonathan Papelbon (Hideki Okajima, Daniel Bard)
3. Mariano Rivera (Alfredo Aceves, David Robertson, Joba Hughesberlain)
4. Jonathan Broxton (George Sherrill, Hong-Chih Kuo)

Donkey-corns

Imagine you’re following a donkey, who’s wearing a wool cap, through a desert for 1700 miles. Why are you following a donkey? Because he promises you something wonderful and you just need to trust him. Does the donkey talk? Yes. Yes, he does talk. So when you and the donkey in the wool cap arrive at his destination, he removes his the wool cap to reveal a horn. The donkey is a unicorn and his gift to you for your trust is saves. These closers are Donkey-corns.

5. Joakim Soria (Kyle Farnsworth, Carlos Rosa)
6. Heath Bell (Luke Gregerson)
7. Carlos Marmol (Angel Guzman, John Grabow)
8. Francisco Rodriguez (Kelvim Escobar, Eddie Kunz)
9. Andrew Bailey (Michael Wuertz, Brad Ziegler)
10. David Aardsma (Mark Lowe, Chad Cordero)
11. Brian Wilson (Jeremy Affeldt)
12. Huston Street (Franklin Morales, Rafael Betancourt)
13. Francisco Cordero (Arthur Rhodes, Nick Masset, Jared Burton)
14. Ryan Franklin (Jason Motte, Kyle McClellan)
15. Rafael Soriano (J.P. Howell, Dan Wheeler)
16. Billy Wagner (Takashi Saito)
17. Brian Fuentes (Fernando Rodney, Kevin Jepsen)
18. Leo Nunez (Dan Meyer)
19. Mike Gonzalez (Jim Johnson)
20. Frank Francisco (C.J. Wilson, Chris Ray)
21. Joel Zumaya (Ryan Perry)
22. Trevor Hoffman (LaTroy Hawkins)

Brain Freeze

I’m going on a picnic and I’m bringing apples, bananas and Kerry Wood– Wait, he just gave up 12 earned runs and hit Asdrubal in the head with a pickoff throw. Brain freeze! Make it stop! Use the following closers at your own risk.

23. Bobby Jenks (Matt Thornton, J.J. Putz)
24. Matt Capps (Brian Bruney, Drew Storen)
25. Chad Qualls (Juan Gutierrez, Bob Howry)
26. Brad Lidge (Ryan Madson, Danys Baez)
27. Kerry Wood (Chris Perez)
28. Jason Frasor (Scott Downs, Jeremy Accardo)
29. Brandon Lyon/Matt Lindstrom (Winner of Radio Phone-In Contest)
30. Joel Hanrahan (Runner-Up To Astros’ Phone-In Contest Winner)

Justin Morneau has a stress fracture in his lower back.  Joe Mauer missed a month of the season with back pains.  I understand the Twins are a small market team with fiduciary concerns, but it might be a good investment to provide firmer mattresses for the team.  Punto can continue to sleep on the couch, if you like.  Morneau will be out for the season.  In non-keepers, you can drop him.  Cuddyer will start at 1st; he hit a homer yesterday.  Since Morneau was hitting .201 Post-All-Star Break, this isn’t the worst news for you.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Brian Fuentes -  If he were on the Phillies, he’d be hailed as having one of the greatest seasons a closer has ever had.  But when you’re the closer for The Town that Bobby Grich Built, you need to save at least 60 games with a 2 ERA.  41 saves and a 4 ERA just ain’t going to cut it.  Scioscia’s a tinkerer — Howie Kendrick’s hot…  Okay, we’re going to start Maicer Izturis! — So the latest is that Fuentes could lose saves to Kevin Jepsen.  I don’t think Jepsen will collect more than a few, but if you’re in a tight race for saves, you may want to grab him.

Reid Brignac – 4-for-4, HR and 3 RBIs yesterday with his first start in a week.  It would be wise for the Rays to give Brignac at-bats.  Though teams aren’t always wise.

Matt Wieters - 1-for-3, batting .265 on the year with 5 homers.  February Grey emailed me this, “I’m preparing Wieters to Posey comparisons.”

Adam Lind – Hit his 29th homer yesterday.  In the preseason top 80 outfielders post, I said, “Lind could be worth owning in all leagues.  That’s no idle compliment.  Man, you really know how to make a beanbag your own. That’s an idle compliment.”  And that’s me quoting me!  I also harped on him in April telling everyone to grab him.  Next year, there will be comparisons of Wieters for 2010 to Lind in 2009.  Trust me, when a big time prospect fails, I’m all over them.  Ask the People Against the Fantasy Ownership of Alex Gordon.

Jason Frasor – 1 IP, 2 ER and the blown save.  Well, that’s one way to get Downs put back in the closer role.

Bronson Arroyo – 7 IP, 1 ER.  Has a near 2 ERA in the 2nd half of the year.  Yup.

Jay Bruce – Returns from the DL.  I’m going to say Jay Bruce is the best outfielder in the history of the world.  And I’d be lying.  Jay Bruce is perhaps the most underperforming outfielder in the history of 2009.  That’s closer to the truth.  Jay Bruce can not help you whatsoever.  That’s lying again.  Jay Bruce might be able to give some slight value in deep leagues.  Yes, that sounds about right.

Brandon Phillips – HR yesterday.  Now has three straight 20/20 seasons.  Cust kayin’.

Brett Tomko – 9 IP, 0 ER.  Whatever Tomko’s stats are smoking it’s probably not legal.

Cliff Pennington – 2-for-4, and hitting near .450 in the last week.  Plus, his name sounds like he wears plaid trousers.

Ryan Dempster – 8 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners.  Has given up 4 earned runs in every other start for almost a month now.  If I were a betting man, I might say 6 IP, 4 ER vs. the Cards for his next start.

Carlos Gonzalez – 2-for-5, one steal.  He hit a huge dip over the weekend, going 1-for-11, but hopefully that was just a matter of playing in Petco.  No one wants to provide offense in Petco, it’s just the way it is.

Tim Lincecum – 7 IP, 1 ER, 11 Ks.  I’m still undecided, but I might draft Lincecum in the first round next year just to see how it feels to own him.

Ricky Nolasco – 5 IP, 7 ER.  It’s nice and all to have a solid K to walk ratio, but walk someone if it’s going to help you avoid giving up 7 earned runs!

Clayton Kershaw – Out at least 10 more days.  He originally hurt himself shagging flies.  Last person to hurt themselves like that was Jenna Jameson.

The Washington Nationals babied their future shortstop, Esmailyn Gonzalez, through their minors until they realized that Esmailyn shouldn’t be babied, he should be old-man’d. Kinda like the orphan in The Orphan that turned out to be a dwarf hooker. (Haven’t seen it, but the spoiler kinda makes me want to.) So the Nats sent Bowden away on his Segway and started looking at what else they had in the way of shortstops.  Hiring a 7 foot guy with tattoos to card everyone, they realized Ian Desmond should get himself a look.  And so it goes, so it goes.  Yesterday, he hit his first major league homer in his first major league game.  Desmond has a decent blend of speed and power (think The Big FraGu at shortstop).  The “at shortstop” thing is the clincher.  It’s a shallow position, you can do worse, yadda yadda yadda.  I don’t think he’s going to be all peaches and cream next year, so I wouldn’t go crazy with him in keepers (unless it’s deep and NL-Only), but he could give you a burst of hotness in these late September weeks.  He’s gotta be better than Gordon Beckham at this point, right?  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Mike MacDougal – Couldn’t get an out and gave way to Ron Villone for the save.  It’s probably nothing, but some extremely desperate save vultures may want to swoop.  BTW, MacDougal’s legal name is Robert Meiklejohn MacDougal.  Isn’t that the name of a piece of Ikea furniture?

Brett Cecil – 6 IP, 2 ER in his final start of the year.  I’ll like him next year.  He’s capable of taking a nice step forward.  Pretty much won’t be anything but an endgame flier in most 2010 drafts.

Joe Blanton – 4 2/3 IP, 8 ER.  Getting outpitched by Livan Hernandez in September is not the time to revert to being the mediocre pitcher I always thought you were.  June, July, even August… Not September.

Brad Lidge – File this one in the cabinet labeled, “Yeah, No Kidding.”  Two days after being told he’s the closer, Lidge was told yesterday that he won’t pitch in save opportunities anymore.

Angel Pagan – Went 3-for-4 yesterday as Beltran did not play.  *Grey shrugs*

Nate McLouth – Hit his 3rd homer in the last week.  Last time he hit one, I said this, “This is a hunch, but I think he realizes he has three weeks to make his season’s stats look somewhat palatable.”  And that’s me quoting me!

Brian McCann – 4-for-5.  Nice sign because for the last ten games he was 3-for-33.

Mike Gonzalez – Since Bobby Cox is nearly as progressive of a thinker as Archie Bunker and from the old school like Afrika Bambaataa, it took Cox about a month longer than I expected to go to the lefty, Gonzalez, for saves.  With how Soriano’s pitching, this may not be Gonzalez’s last save of the year.

Roy Oswalt – 2 IP, 6 ER.  Months ago, I talked about how I was worried for Oswalt this year.  How I’m not sure if everyone is aware that this isn’t your slightly older brother’s Oswalt.  This Oswalt has games where he gives up six earned in two innings.  Near a 4 ERA on the year seems about what we can expect from him.  A solid #3 with upside.

John Lackey – 9 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks.  In his last three games, he’s thrown 26 innings (that’s a lot for 3 games) and given up only one run (that’s not a lot).

Howie Kendrick – 3-for-3 yesterday.  Scioscia’s only played Kendrick seven times since August 25th.  Giving Kendrick six days off in a row at one time.  Yet, Kendrick’s batting .500 over that time.  Scioscia is either the world’s greatest manager or the world’s stupidest.

Alex Gordon – Hit his 4th homer yesterday.  Comatose Royals fan wakes, “4 homers?  Is it still the first week of April?”

Drew Stubbs – 0-for-4, 2 Ks.  That tingling you felt in your Capezios when you grabbed Stubbs last week should be gone by now.  He’s on the suckwagon heading into K-town.

Jason Frasor – Got the save.  It must be that time of the month.

Eric Young Jr. – 2-for-3, 2 steals.  He’ll be in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell.  The left side of the slash, which is the right side to be on.

Jose Contreras – Left the game with a quad strain.  It’s the curse of being on the cover of the AARP Magazine.