According to Wikipedia, the Dozens is a game of spoken words between two contestants, common in African-American communities, where participants insult each other until one gives up. Yesterday, we got a fantasy baseball version. Felix Hernandez started in on Max Scherzer first, “Your name sounds like a character from a Michael Chabon novel!” Scherzer lobbed back, “You could throw a no-hitter and lose!” F-Her redoubled his efforts, “You need two sets of colored contacts!” Scherzer stepped back and threw, “You’re gonna be traded to the Orioles for Erik Bedard!” F-Her fired back, “Your first baseman is so fat his blood type is Ragu!” “Oh, yeah? Well, your center fielder is The Big FraGu!” F-Her threw 8 shutout innings with 12 Ks against one of the best offenses in the game; Scherzer gave up one run with 12 Ks against one of the worst. Both: Great. Winner: Last night, it was F-Her. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Each week I’ll be looking at some favorable match-ups to help you grab a few extra steals for your fantasy team. Whether you are in a weekly or daily league, looking at weak defensive catchers and strong/aggressive base running teams may help you make decisions as to which players you should start or sit in your hunt for an edge in the stolen base category. Since the 2013 season is only a week old, I’ll use some data from 2012 to get started and give you an idea of what we will be looking for. Just realize that these are only two dimensions that can affect stolen base totals.Please, blog, may I have some more?
First things first– does Matthew Berry always have to refer to himself as: ‘Matthew Berry – The Talented Mr. Roto’? What is the deal here? Did he marry a chick with the last name ‘The Talented Mr. Roto’ of which he and said wife agreed to combine their last names via the hyphen?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Carl Crawford left yesterday’s game with a sore shoulder. He first felt discomfort on Wednesday. In the locker room, here’s how Carl explained it, “You don’t want to feel that pain like that… I’ve never really had nothing like that before… It locked up real bad.” Now this sounds terrible, right? Okay, here’s how Crawford finished, “I think it should be a day-to-day thing.” Wait, what? You don’t want to feel pain like that… It locked up real bad… It’s fine. Oh, okay. This sounds like when my grandmother would talk about how she can’t see or walk, then she’d go play mah jong. You don’t need to see, the tiles’ engravings are raised.Please, blog, may I have some more?
In case you were on a three day bender with Michael Madsen, Troy Tulowitzki will miss up to 8 weeks with a broken wrist. It’s old news by now, but sometimes you just wanna know what Grey has to say. Hey, hey, hey. Wrists are tricky things for hitters. I wouldn’t be surprised if Tulo returns in August and doesn’t start hitting well until September. If you own him, there’s nothing you can do but sit on him. Not literally, unless you have his permission. I wouldn’t trade for him, unless it’s a keeper and you’re rebuilding for next year and can get him for cheap now that he’s out. The Rockies called up Chris Nelson, but he just looks like infielder depth while SS and 2nd base get manned by Clint Barmes and Jonathan Herrera, who sounds like a fashion designer, so if you hear someone say, “Nice glove work by Jonathan Herrera!” You tell them it’s a knockoff. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Manny Corpas – 0 IP, 5 ER. Corpas Christi! The last two days this guy left my ratios looking like a Port Authority toilet. Huston Street gets activated on Tuesday, but Tracy says he’s going to ease Street back into role. Since I own Corpas and not Street on several teams, I’m not sure if I want Street to become the closer sooner or later. Also, for Street owners, if Tracy doesn’t get Street back into the role in short order, he may end up injured again before recording a save. Cust kayin’.Please, blog, may I have some more?