Fantasy Baseball Advice

Went over the top 20 for 2012 fantasy baseball and top 10 for 2012 fantasy baseball.  Now, friends, it’s time for the top 20 catchers for 2012 fantasy baseball.  In the past, the top 20 catchers were the glass of warm milk right before you went to sleep.  “Hey, I just drafted A.J. Pierzynski!”  Snooze.  “I love Kurt Suzuki this year!”  Yawn.  But this year, for the first time in a while, there’s actually some catchers that could get your nethers moving.  I don’t draft top catchers in one catcher leagues.  Because I ignore the top catchers doesn’t mean I’m starting the top 20 catcher list at number twenty-one (Carlos Ruiz?  Belch.); some of you might want to know the top catchers.  You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them draft Chris Iannetta.  In two catcher leagues, catchers are a little more valuable, but I’d still prefer to avoid them.  You can see other top 20 lists for 2012 fantasy baseball under 2012 Fantasy Baseball Rankings.  Listed along with these catchers are my 2012 projections for each player and where the tiers begin and end.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 catchers for 2012 fantasy baseball:

1. Carlos Santana – This is the first tier.  This tier goes from here until Mike Napoli.  I call this tier, “You wanna draft a top catcher?  Be my guest!”  Last year, The Supernatural hit 27 homers.  Makes sense.  He stole 5 bags.  Sounds about right.  He hit .239.  Huh?  Does not compute.  Must investigate.  His walk rate tanked from 19.3% to 14.7% and his strikeout rate jumped from 15.1% to 20.2%.  He was a bit unlucky, but his average can’t be explained away by that.  His line drive rate fell, ground ball rate shot up and his infield flies went up.  The assumption around most parts are he’s going to repeat his homers, counting stats and bounce back in the average department in a big way.  He’s talented and young enough for that to happen, but I wouldn’t wager on it.  This is also a whole lot of hot air cause I’d take his last year with a small bump on average and be more than happy.  That’s if I were to draft Santana, which I would not unless he fell.  I don’t draft top catchers.  2012 Projections:  80/25/90/.260/5

2. Brian McCann – The string of me ranking McCann first overall for catchers has come to an end.  Trust me, I tried to justify moving him up for longer than I’d care to admit.  Okay, I’ll admit I only thought it over for three minutes.  But those three minutes were underwater so it felt a lot longer.  What ended up having me leave Carlos Santana above McCann is Santana is younger and has already hit more homers in one season than McCann ever has.  Now, the one thing that has me still as a non-apologetic McCann apologist is he’s only 28 years old and, deep in my loins, I really believe McCann’s gonna hit 30 homers one of these years, and if it’s gonna be any year it may as well be his 28-year-old season, and this is the longest run-on sentence ever, according to the Guinness Book of World Records, I checked.  2012 Projections:  70/25/85/.275/3

3. Matt Wieters – At some point last year I felt as if people weren’t appreciating Wieters, and I began to like him.  It’s tough always swimming against the tide!  Unlike Santana, Wieters actually cut his K-rate and was a bit unlucky to end up with only a .262 average.  He made more solid (solider?) contact last year pushing up his line drive rate while cutting his ground balls.  To throw a random name at you, I think Wieters outperforms Ike Davis in 2012.  To throw a more random name out at you — Mitzi Gaynor.  2012 Projections:  80/24/85/.280

4. Mike Napoli – I hope Mike appreciates I was here for him even when his own manager didn’t want to play him.  When someone needs a makeover, I simply have to takeover.  Nothing is gonna stop Napoli from being pop-ewe-ler…LAR!  That was for our three girl readers.  If any of you ladies like mustaches, dial 1-800-G-R-E-Y-S-T-U-D.  With that said (here comes the negative), Napoli just had his best season.  It was a good one too.  I’m happy for him.  I’m happy for his mom’s nipples.  Still doesn’t change the fact that I need to think about 2012 and not 2011.  The power shouldn’t fall off the map like the earth is flat, but 30 homers is the ceiling.  The bigger problem is his average.  The only time he ever had more than 500 plate appearances in a season he hit .238.  Sadly, that’s repeatable for him.  2012 Projections:  60/25/70/.250/3

5. Buster Posey – This is the next tier.  This tier goes from here until Jesus Montero.  I call this tier, “They could be the top catchers, but they’re not.  Go figure!” From early mock drafts that I’ve seen (I’ve looked y’all!), Posey’s still being overdrafted.  My man could miss three seasons and still get drafted high.  You know, like Joe Mauer.  Posey does seem like the only thing holding him back is avoiding freak injuries (no connection to Lincecum).  But, you know what, I’d like to see him avoid these freak injuries prior to me drafting him anywhere near where he’s going.  2012 Projections:  65/20/75/.300

6. Alex Avila – I expect he’ll have the same exact year in 2012 as he had in 2011.  Yay.  Moving on.  Okay, I’ll say more.  As my life coach tells me, expectations lead to disappointment.  So my expectations are Avila will repeat last year, but he’s also very young (25).  He only has one and three-quarters of a season in the majors.  So does that make him a super sophomore?  Well, hopefully he doesn’t have a super sophomore slump.  See what I did there?  Don’t light that match, I’m cooking with gas!  2012 Projections:  60/19/75/.280/3

7. Joe Mauer – People who still draft this guy high are either more trusting than me or idiots.  It’s well established at this point he’s never repeating his year of 28 homers from 2009.  Frankly, I’d like to see him hit 10 homers again, and don’t call me Frank Lee.  2012 Projections: 80/10/85/.310/3

8. Miguel Montero – What separates Miguel Montero from Jesus Montero?  M-I-G-U-E-L.  C’mon, that was easy.  Oh, and upside.  If you don’t want to take the chance on Jesus’s ability to walk on water and prefer the safer bet, I could see just going for the less flashy Montero.  2012 Projections:  60/17/75/.270

9. Jesus Montero – I had already went over my Jesus Montero 2012 fantasy.  It went something like this blah blah blah I’m smart blah blah blah I’m smart.  Now the post reads like I’m the King of Wishful Thinking after Cashman told him to Go West.  (There’s a terrible 90′s pop song pun in there.  I apologize.) The trade of Montero/Pineda wasn’t great for either player’s fantasy value.  Though it’ll turn out worse for Pineda in the short term.  For Montero, the M’s have a whole lot fewer DH/catcher options so this should actually help him retain (gain?) catcher eligibility a lot easier.  It’s going to hurt his power a tad.  In the Yankees lineup, I had his projections as 70/20/85/.290.  With 677 ABs in the leadoff spot, Ichiro only had 80 runs, so you can see Montero’s counting stats are gonna take a hit.  Also, Safeco, like all -co parks, is no hitter haven.  So you’re going to get a guy that actually can play catcher for fantasy but will have less production.  (Note: He may not have catcher eligibility to start the year, so be very, very careful.  Or not.  Your choice.  I do think he gets the eligibility quickly on the M’s though.)  2012 Projections: 55/17/70/.285

10. Geovany Soto – This is the next tier.  This tier goes from here until Arencibia.  I call this tier, “Low averages and catnip for kidnappers, but I’ll draft them.”  Seriously, are the good catchers going to go on forever?  How deep is this mother-effin’ position this year?  It’s a brand new day, Sting.  “Get your cousins and marry them cause catchers are breeding up in here like rabbits!”  That’s the guy at your draft talking who you can’t believe you were once close friends with.  I’m getting slightly tired of trusting Soto, but he comes at a decent price and I feel like there’s gotta be one season in his bat of neutral luck where he hits for a decent-enough average and power.  Why not this year?  Then we can all say Theo Epstein was the reason and Michael Lewis can write a book about it.  2012 Projections:  60/18/75/.260

11. Wilson Ramos – Okay, stop with all these catchers.  My heart can’t handle it.  They’re all so beautiful.  If you can’t tell, I’m drafting a catcher from this tier if things work out the way they should at drafts.  Last year, Ramos hit 15 homers but that was in only 113 games/389 at-bats.  Extra 100 ABs shouldn’t be hard to come by with a few extra dingers, but I do think Ramos’s owners will not only need to wear ski masks, but will need to set him and forget him as learned in The Ron Popeil School of Catcher Management.  2012 Projections:  55/18/70/.270

12. J.P. Arencibia – You win, catchers!  You are one sexy position this year.  It’s like I’m looking at you in a red-lit room in Amsterdam and can’t decide which one of you I want to screw me.  J.P. which stands for “Just the facts, Paul” looks like a young Napoli.  Now if only his manager would bench him for four of five days the circle will be complete.  Arencibia probably won’t hit above .240 (his K-rate was 27.4%; that’s crazy terrible), but if we join hands and pray maybe, just maybe, he can hit .245.  2012 Projections:  50/21/70/.235

13. Devin Mesoraco – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Suzuki.  I call this tier, “Sexy names with no track record and unsexy names with track records.”  Devin’s one of those sexy names I mentioned about fifteen words ago.  I already went over my Devin Mesoraco 2012 fantasy.  I wrote it while picking lint from between my toes.  2012 Projections:  55/18/65/.280 (<–Optimistic, but whatever)

14. Salavador Perez – He will only be 21 years old to start the season.  At catcher, there’s an old credo that I just made up right now that maybe people say but I’m not aware of it.  It goes something like this, “Catchers take a few years to get used to catching and hitting at the major league level.  It’s not an easy position to just jump into.”  Wearing a pithy helmet with that one, I tell ya.  So, as a 21-year-old, you’re going to have some growing pains with Perez.  Incredibly, he has been playing pro ball since 2007 and he makes solid contact.  Could I have ranked Yadier here instead?  Sure, but what fun is that?  2012 Projections:  50/10/65/.280

15. Jarrod Saltalamacchia – I like to think Saltymochachino is a nice bridge between the sexy names in this tier and the unsexy names.  I’m being too generous.  He’s not sexy.  Saltymochachino’s had 5 years to be sexy and he still looks like Phyllis Diller first thing in the morning.  Last year his K-rate was so absurdly bad (30.8%) that he shouldn’t have a starting job.  As of this writing (around December 8th at 4:23 PM), he still did.  Holy crap, it’s now December 12th at 5:35 PM!  Damn, I have to work on typing faster.  Wait, now it’s December 13th and Shoppach just landed in Boston.  Maybe slow typing isn’t bad after all!  Kelly Shoppach will steal time from Salty, but for now Salty looks good for some cheap power and maybe he’ll luck into a decent average.  I mean, Napoli did hit .320 last year.  In.  Sane.  (Yeah, I did that douchey one word into two sentences thing.)  2012 Projections:  45/15/60/.220

16. Ryan Doumit – And just like that the catchers get even less sexier.  Wha’ happened?!  I went over my Ryan Doumit 2012 fantasy already.  I wrote it on the wall of my cell.  If Doumit can scrounge together 500 plate appearances, he could be as valuable as Joe Mauer.  Before you laugh, think to yourself why you’re laughing?  Because you think I’m dumb?  That’s not very nice.  2012 Projections:  45/14/55/.260

17. Russell Martin – Technically, he should be ranked higher than this if he just repeats last year, but there’s the pickle juice that kills you. (Snopes confirmed!)  Martin’s not repeating last year.  If he gets 12 homers, I’ll run around my office naked.  Though, I do work from home and don’t own clothes, so it’s not much of a bet.  2012 Projections:  50/10/60/.240/9

18. Jonathan Lucroy – When you look at Lucroy’s age (25), you think sexy.  Yeah, he doesn’t look like anything other than a Yadier Molina clone, but — and like J. Lo this is a big but — Lucroy’s young enough to maybe fill out a little and add a few more homers.  When you’re this deep, you go for upside and not for Molina. (Notice how I keep talking about Molina but have yet to rank him?  That’ll all change soon.)  2012 Projections:  50/13/60/.260/3

19. Yadier Molina – Hey, is that Diego Rivera catching?  No!  Doc Ock?  Nope!  It’s the other Molina!  Yeah, he’s boring as dog balls.  If you draft Yadier Molina as your catcher, this tells me you don’t care enough to at least draft someone with some upside.  Shame on you and the horse you rode in on.  Beautiful horse, though.  Very regal.  You must watch Downton Abbey.  2012 Projections:  45/9/50/.280/5

20. Kurt Suzuki – Do me a favor and don’t draft him.  How’s dem apples?  Sour!  Suzuki’s never hit more than 15 homers and hasn’t hit above .242 in two years.  You’re expecting a miracle in a crappy lineup in a terrible ballpark?  Maybe Hatteberg can come out of retirement and drive him in 120 times.  You’d like that cause you need happy endings.  Well, then go get a massage!  2012 Projections:  50/12/55/.240/3

After the top 20 catchers for 2012 fantasy baseball there’s a lot of names, but these two stand out:

Victor Martinez – He was originally ranked 6th, but now he has a torn ACL. What a debACLe!  Oh, God, that is rich.  Sounds like he’s gonna miss the whole season, unless you believe in mirACLes.  Seriously, effin’ rich!  2012 Projections: nothing/but/doo/dee

Chris Iannetta – If I knew the Sciosciapath were definitely going to give Iannetta 500 plate appearances, I’d be more excited about drafting him.  But what the hey?!  It’s a catcher; I’ll still take a flyer and see where he goes.  Something no one seems to talk about in their rankings.  You could put “Undecided” ranked 12th on every list and still do fine as long as you don’t take “Undecided” for every position.  Now if you were to draft “Undeclared” you’d be in trouble.  I keed!  Or do I?  No, I do.  To talk you out of drafting Iannetta, even though I think the point is to talk you into drafting him, he’s out of Coors and his home/away splits look like a mural made of turd.  Turd, turd, turd, turd is the word!  Damn, now that’s stuck in my head.  Last three years — he’s hitting .171 in away games.  Whatever, I don’t care if his away average is floating in the toilet waiting for someone to flush it like Lawrence Taylor’s post-football career.  I placed him here to highlight him, but I’d rank him right above Arencibia because a flyer at catcher is fine.  Turd, turd, turd, turd is the word!  Now it’s stuck in your head too.  Sucker!  2012 Projections:  55/16/65/.245/5

It feels like yesterday the baseball regular season started.  You wrote “I heart baseball” in permanent marker on your arm, then you met a girl who wrote “I heart guys who heart baseball” on her arm, then, during sex in September, you screamed out “I love you, Marco Scutaro!” and now you don’t have baseball or a girlfriend.  C’mon, calendar, make like a soldier and turn to March.  The only cure for the post-baseball season blues — recapping the preseason top twenty lists and being hand-fed Doritos.  First up, Cool Ranch and our preseason Top 20 Catchers for 2011.  It’s important to look back before we look ahead to 2012. To paraphrase the one and only B-Real, “How do you know where you’re at, if you don’t know where you’ve been? Understand where I’m coming from?”  It wouldn’t be fair for me to preseason rank the players then rank them again in the postseason based on my opinion, so these postseason top 20 lists are ranked according to ESPN’s Player Rater.  It may not be wholly accurate, but it’s wholly unbiased.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 catchers for 2011 fantasy baseball and how they compared to where I originally ranked them:

1. Victor Martinez – ESPN’s overweighing average here.  I don’t care, he’s not the number one catcher.  He’s good, but the number one catcher only has 12 homers?  C’mon.  I mean, c’mon c’mon.  Even c’mon c’mon c’mon.  In the bigger picture, he was about as valuable as Jimmy Rollins and Beltran.  Weird how four years ago that was probably true too.  Not weird as in funny or interesting.  Just weird.  Preseason Rank #3, 2011 Projections:  70/18/85/.300, Final Numbers:  76/12/103/.330/1

2. Mike Napoli – Eat your heart out, Mike Scioscia!  It’s absolutely bonkers that a catcher is ranked this high and some people didn’t even want him on their team for at least two months of the season.  He’s basically the reason why the Ron Popeil ‘Set It and Forget It’ catcher strategy was invented.  The catcher field is so shallow that you don’t need to do much to be a top ranked catcher, i.e., a guy that doesn’t even play every day can be close to the top ranked catcher.  I love you, Napoli, for as much as your stats as for how smart you make me look.  Now introduce me to your Moms!  Preseason Rank #5, 2011 Projections:  65/24/75/.255/5, Final Numbers:  72/30/75/.320/4

3. Alex Avila – First (and really only) out of nowhere guy to place in the top of the catcher rankings.  AA, you are no longer anonymous.  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  63/19/82/.295/3

4. Miguel Montero – Never hit more than 4 homers in a month and only had one month over a .300 average.  3 ladies and gentlemen, your 2011 fantasy baseball catchers!  Preseason Rank #8, 2011 Projections:  55/15/70/.275, Final Numbers:  65/18/86/.282/1

5. Yadier Molina – He could be next to the definition for yawnstipating in the dictionary, but yawnstipating isn’t a word you find in a dictionary.  Yet.  Preseason Rank #12, 2011 Projections:  40/7/55/.270/7, Final Numbers:  55/14/65/.305/4

6. Carlos Santana – Pretty weird season from the Supernatural.  If you jumped out of a DeLorean and told me he’d have 27 homers this year, I’d say why are you time traveling with that info?  Can’t you tell me something could actually make me money?  I’d also say Carlos must have a .300 average and be the best catcher.  His K-rate went up, walk rate went down, ground ball rate went up, fly ball rate went down, line drive rate went down… Honestly (as if I’d lie to you), you’re pretty lucky you got the homers and counting stats from Santana.  This could’ve been a disaster season.  Preseason Rank #10, 2011 Projections:  55/15/65/.280, Final Numbers:  84/27/79/.239/5

7. Brian McCann – Every year I will continue to rank him number one.  Whether he wants to actually listen to me is between us.  I ask that you respect our privacy.  Preseason Rank #1, 2011 Projections:  80/25/95/.280/3, Final Numbers:  51/24/71/.270/3

8. Matt Wieters – Had a nice bounce back season, or he had a good August and September that is totally clouding my judgment.  I think it’s more the former than the latter, assuming I’m not confusing what former and latter means.  I could see ranking him as high as number two for catchers next year.  I probably won’t because that sounds insane to me as I write it and that’s how much forethought I had on the matter.  Maybe I think about it a little bit.  Preseason Rank #6, 2011 Projections:  60/18/85/.280, Final Numbers:  72/22/68/.262/1

9. Russell Martin – I put him in the preseason tier of upside guys because of his tremendous potential.  I mean, he only had four straight years of declining homers, RBIs, runs and average.   Oh, wait, he was an upside pick because he went to the Yankees.  Yeah, made sense then and now.  Thank you, genius brain inside my head.  Genius Brain Inside My Head, “You’re welcome.  Or is it ‘your?’”  Preseason Rank #16, 2011 Projections:  70/10/60/.270/10, Final Numbers:  57/18/65/.237/8

10. Wilson Ramos – His walk rate and ISO went up and he’s only 24 years old.  I could see him getting a sleeper post in the offseason then hitting 15 homers and a .270 average next year and being valuable in 2012 but still not that interesting.  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  48/15/52/.267

11. J.P. Arencibia – This is about where the fun ends for catchers, and really was it that much fun prior to this?  Arencibia hit 23 homers and had 78 RBIs, yet as late as mid-September he was only owned in 50% of ESPN leagues.  Either a lot of people play in 8 team leagues or a lot of people overvalue average.  Next time I’m in a place with a bunch of fantasy baseball nerds, I’ll ask that question.  Speaking of which, we should have a Razzball field trip to Vegas this year.  Preseason Rank #17, 2011 Projections:  40/15/55/.240, Final Numbers:  47/23/78/.219/1

12. Miguel Olivo – His Hacky McHackstein ways seem to have translated across the whole catcher pool, i.e., most of this top 20 have batting average issues.  Preseason Rank #20, 2011 Projections:  45/15/55/.235/7, Final Numbers:  54/19/62/.224/6

13. Chris Iannetta – Let’s give you an idea of how bad/shallow/synonym the catchers are.  Iannetta is ranked here and he was replaced by his own team for a few weeks in September.  When can I start recapping the 1st basemen?  Oh, in my next post.  Preseason Rank #15, 2011 Projections:  40/15/60/.245, Final Numbers:  51/14/55/.238/6

14. A.J. Pierzynski – I hate A.J. from a fantasy standpoint.  It doesn’t look like I’m alone either since he’s the 14th best catcher and was owned in less than 10% of all ESPN leagues just about the whole year.  I think he’s the poster child for all that’s wrong with the ESPN Player Rater.  How does a guy who hits 8 homers and 40-ish runs and 50-ish RBIs rank this high?  Cause of the decent average?  I don’t buy it.  Preseason Rank #13, 2011 Projections:  50/12/55/.275, Final Numbers:  38/8/48/.287

15. Jonathan Lucroy – The Brewers backstop had a solid season for him and when you look at his numbers you realize why he wasn’t ranked by me in the preseason.  Lucroy, you are Matt Wieters’s po’ boy.  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  45/12/59/.265/2

16. Carlos Ruiz – Snooze.  Preseason Rank #14, 2011 Projections:  35/10/55/.265, Final Numbers:  49/6/40/.283/1

17. Jarrod Saltalamacchia – In the preseason, I said, “He’s not quite old; he’ll be only 26 years old in 2011.  In the last round of draft, you got better things to do than to draft an upside catcher in a hitters’ park and lineup?  Yeah, I didn’t think so.”  And that’s me quoting me!  Preseason Rank #23, 2011 Projections:  55/16/70/.255/5, Final Numbers:  52/16/56/.235/1

18. Ramon Hernandez – If you put Hernandez and Hanigan together, you get a Latino-Irishman — a Leprecano — that has very little fantasy value.  Please let Mesoraco catch in 2012.  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  28/12/36/.282

19. Kurt Suzuki – In the preseason, I said, “I stared at the screen for three minutes trying to think of something positive to say about Suzuki.  What you ended up with was me confessing to you that I had nothing positive to say about him.  That about sums it up.” And that’s me still having nothing to say positive about Suzuki!  Preseason Rank #11, 2011 Projections:  60/14/70/.260/3, Final Numbers:  54/14/44/.237/2

20. Geovany Soto – I haven’t given up on Soto yet.  Sure, this year was miserable.  And last year was miserable.  And… Was he ever good?  I think he was.  Never the hoo!  Soto and I have high apple pie in the sky hopes, and you can’t take that away from us.  Preseason Rank #7, 2011 Projections:  60/18/75/.270, Final Numbers:  46/17/54/.228

Jesus Guzman – Over 11 years ago, in 2000, when Guzman was 16, he signed a minor league deal with the Seattle Mariners. The Venezuelan wouldn’t see real minor league action until 2004, when he debuted at A+ ball. He acquitted himself quite well, going .310/.393/.443.

The following year he played entirely at AA ball. He was 21, but didn’t flash a ton of promise (.258/.330/.393). He also hit only nine homers and stole only six bases. What’s worse, he was caught stealing 11 times.

Not surprisingly, the Mariners made Guzman repeat AA in 2006. Now 22, he had to get his mojo going. Unfortunately, 2006 looked a lot like 2005: .257/.335/.382 with nine homers and seven steals (albeit he was only caught three times).
At 23, Guzman was going backward, as the Mariners kept him at A+ ball for the duration of 2007. He played well, but, at that age and repeating such a low level, the success was almost meaningless. On October 29, 2007, he was granted free agency.

He wouldn’t be a fish out of water for long, as Billy Beane and the Oakland Athletics scooped him up on November 16. He spent the majority of his time at AA for the Athletics and played quite well: .364/.419/.560 with 14 homers. After 80 games at AA, the A’s promoted him to AAA, where things stalled out once again: .237/.281/.373.

Guzman again found himself a free agent on November 3, 2008. However, he wouldn’t wait long, as he signed a contract with the team across the bay just 15 days later. Guzman destroyed the ball in Spring Training for the Giants and showed much prowess as a 25-year-old in the Pacific Coast League (.321/.379/.507). He earned a quick cup of coffee with the Giants but didn’t do anything outstanding in just 20 plate appearances.

Unfortunately for Guzman, the Giants brought in a slew of veterans to clog the corners and he spent the entirety of 2010 in AAA (where he looked pretty good: .321/.376/.510).

Before 2011, with Brandon Belt on the way and Aubrey Huff inked to a two-year deal, Guzman was again granted free agency. But the Padres waited just 14 days to sign Guzman. If you are scoring at home, during his migration down the coast, Guzman never spent more than 18 days as a free agent after signing with the Mariners as a 16-year-old.

With Adrian Gonzalez gone and a couple of corner prospects in Kyle Blanks and Anthony Rizzo that were likely a bit away from the majors, the Padres started Guzman off in AAA in the Pacific Coast League. While it is a notorious hitter’s haven, you can’t doubt the success Guzman had: .332/.423/.529 with eight homers in 63 games.

Sure, he was repeating the league and he is now 27 years old, but dude could rake and deserved a shot. Well, on June 17, at Minnesota of all places, Guzman got the start. He went 2-4, but wouldn’t get full time duties for some time. However, by the end of June, in 30 plate appearances, Guzman had a .310/.333/.552 line.

Still splitting time throughout July, Guzman got better: going .345/.400/.636 in 60 plate appearances. And he hasn’t slowed down in August, getting a hit in 10 of 11 games he has appeared in.

I love the Jesus Guzman story. I love that I own him in a bunch of deep leagues and you should too. While he likely won’t maintain his .371 BABIP, his 20.9% line drive rate and 12.5% HR/FB rate aren’t flukes. He swings and misses a good chunk and doesn’t walk a lot, but his power is real and sustainable. I see no reason why he can’t finish with an average around .325, a sweet .355 OBP, and a nice .510 slugging percentage. At least five more homers seem like money in the bank. Buy the Guzman stats and buy the story, grab him now.

Dexter Fowler – Fowler, born four years and nine days after me, was a 14th round selection in the 2004 draft. He’d appear in 62 games in rookie ball in 2005 and look decent enough (.273/.357/.409) to earn a promotion the following season to A ball.

And Fowler shined (.296/.373/.462) with 43 steals albeit in 66 attempts (not the best success rate). Still, going into the following year, 2007, Fowler was rated the #48 best prospect.  Unfortunately, Fowler suffered injuries to his right hand and appeared in just 65 games at A+ ball. He looked good, but took a step back to #74 in the prospect rankings.

However, that didn’t stop the Rockies from promoting him the following season. In 2008, in his first taste of AA, Fowler went .335/.431/.515 and earned his first espresso in the majors. He made his debut the same day he earned his call up and pinch ran in the bottom of the 10th inning against the Giants. Unfortunately, he was picked off first base.

Still, going into 2009, he was ranked the #15 best prospect and spent the majority of the season in the majors going .266/.363/.406 with 27 steals in 37 attempts. He posted a reasonable walk rate (12.9%) but his .351 BABIP was a tad dangerous (even though it was paired with a 21% line drive rate).

Clearly, it seemed like the groundwork was laid for a 2010 season full of stolen bases. Unfortunately, his walk rate dipped, his ground balls increased, his BABIP fell to .328 and his OBP dropped to .347. This resulted in just 13 steals in 21 attempts – a horrible ratio for a no-power guy.

Going into 2011, Fowler was an afterthought in a crowded and star-studded Rockies lineup. However, he has generated a .265/.366/.401 line (eerily similar to 2009). But if you check underneath the hood, while his line drive rate has increased slightly over the past two years, he is striking out more and his BABIP is .377. What’s worse, Fowler is just 8/16 in stolen base attempts.

Still, there is room for optimism. Over the last 30 days, Fowler has gone 30/92 with six steals and a .426 OBP. Sure, his BABIP over the last 28 days is .448, but you have to have skills to do that. Fowler is someone to keep an eye on down the stretch. If he can keep hitting line drives and figures out a way to steal successfully, Fowler could be a decent boon to your steals. In addition, I’d take this as an audition for your 2012 fantasy squad. I believe in Fowler long-term.

Jarrod Saltalamacchia – I’m about to tell you something I bet you didn’t know. Salty has the longest last name in the illustrious history of Major League Baseball. The inability to spell/pronounce his surname didn’t hinder his draft potential, as he was a first round selection by the Atlanta Braves in 2003, right out of high school.

He did some nice things, especially for a catcher, in his first two minor league seasons in rookie and A ball. However, he truly burst onto the scene in 2005, going .314/.394/.519 in A+ ball. Before 2006, he was the #18 ranked prospect. While he slipped a little in 2006 (hitting just .230/.353/.380) at AA, he was just 21 and, my oh my, look at that on base percentage – that’s tops.

Before 2007, he was the #36 ranked prospect. He said the hell with that ranking, I deserve a top slot. He murdered AA: .309/.404/.617 in 22 games. He earned his way onto a contending Braves team, where he would exhibit some chops: .284/.333/.411 in 47 games. He was 22 and a catcher. No wonder the Rangers coveted him (not to mention Elvis Andrus, Neftali Feliz and Matt Harrison). On July 31, he’d be traded along with the aforementioned trio to the Texas Rangers for Mark Texeira and Ron Mahay.

As an aside, that trade almost looks as bad as the Glenn Davis for Steve Finley-Curt Schilling-Pete Harnisch swap the Orioles did. It’s amazing that the Braves had enough minor league talent to not even skip a beat (for the most part) after that.

Back to Salty – he wouldn’t perform quite as well with the Rangers (.251/.290/.431) but his power increased and he finished with an impressive .266/.310/.422. We had our next Mike Piazza. Well, there’s a reason Mike Piazza has few equals. Salty would struggle with injuries and inconsistency in 2008, playing just 61 games in the majors. He finished with a .253/.352/.364 line, which isn’t horrible, but was aided by a .385 BABIP. The lack of power and skyrocketing K-rate (it was 32.3%) were definitely disconcerting.

Unfortunately, Salty continued his downward spiral in 2009. His walk rate plummeted, his Ks maintained and his BABIP normalized, resulting in a .223/.290/.371 line in 84 games. While his isolated power moved back toward his respectable 2007 number, he hit fewer line drives and fly balls and more ground balls – not a recipe for success when you run like a catcher and play in a hitter’s park.

Then, just two games into the 2010 season, Salty was put on the DL. When he was ready to come off, he found himself completely lost and in AAA. He struggled with the bat and with his throws back to the pitcher. The Red Sox swooped in with some cash and a few prospects and scooped Salty off the Rangers’ hands.  Salty did nothing for the Red Sox in 2010 and it appeared Salty’s star had fizzled completely, especially after a rough start to 2011.

However, he has turned things around in Boston. After 266 plate appearances, he has a 28.8% K-rate (which is a huge improvement) and has traded ground balls for fly balls – a smart thing to do in Fenway Park. While his walk rate hasn’t gotten to the double digit promise that seemed all but certain a few years ago, his .317 OBP is nothing to sneeze at from a 26-year-old catcher with a .209 ISO and .462 slugging percentage.

There is absolutely nothing crazy about Salty’s season. It will likely be the building block to a long and successful career. However, there is one underlying problem with Salty’s career today: his splits. He owns a career .274/.343/.447 line against righties but a .209/.268/.334 line against lefties. He hasn’t been much better this year.

Still, the Red Sox are smart enough to ensure he sees most of his at bats against righties. As long as Salty continues to take advantage of his home ball park and takes a few small steps in his pitch recognition, he could be a prime backstop for the next several years. If we’re looking at the rest of the season, I could see him being a top 5-7 option down the stretch. Certainly, McCann, Mauer, Napoli, Martinez (although look at his splits), and Carlos Santana will be in the mix as well.

Derrek Lee went 2-for-4 with 3 RBIs and two homers as he continues to get medieval on pitching, which isn’t an old crack, though it could be.  I appreciate the Pirates trying to make moves at the trading deadline, but their moves were kinda of the “We’re gonna make moves so it seems like we’re doing something, but we’re just gonna grab guys like Ludwick” variety.  No one really thinks Ludwick and Lee were the vital pieces, right?  As for the Indians, I thought they’d go the Ludwick-type trade route too, but they actually made much stronger moves.  No, this doesn’t have much to do with fantasy, but we do still actually watch baseball, right?  It’s not just a game played between the fantasy lines on your computer screen, is it?  Now to begin the slideshow — sorry, thought I was writing that crizzap for Bleacher Report.  What a POS content farm.  Seriously, if I ever see Bleacher Report hanging out with eHow one night after a few daiquiris, it could get ugly.  Wow, that was a huge aside. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Rubby de la Rosa – To the DL with a sprained ulnar collateral ligament.  Oh no, collateral damage!  Yeah, that’s not good.  Overall, it’s been a bad year to be a de la Rosa.  Wilkin, you better watch your back.  Or Dane de la Rosa.  Or Ruben de la Rosa.  Or Rafael, Carlos, Alexis, Maikel and Yunior de la Rosa, to name only the first nine I found at baseball-reference.  Quite the de la Rosa renaissance.  I’m beginning to think that scouts in Latin America are getting paid off by matriarch, Esmeralda de la Rosa.  “Have you seen my boy, Tomas de la Rosa?  No?  Okay, first you have dessert then we go see him.”

Asdrubal Cabrera – 3-for-5 with 2 homers.  A’la Cher from Clueless, “AS-drubal!”  Speaking of surnames, it’s quite a battle for the most productive Cabrera between Miggy, Asdrubal and Melky.  If you took the 5 million to 1 Vegas odds for Melky being the best Cabrera this year, you’re a lot closer than anyone could’ve thought in March.

Barry Zito – Back to the DL.  I.e., baked Zito.

Freddy Sanchez – Undergoing season-ending season to repair his labrum.  You can only lose your virginity once, Freddy.  Sorry…

Jonathan Sanchez – Filthy Sanchez is set to start on Friday vs. the Phils.  If he can work around Phil Jackson, Donahue and Spector, he should be safe to start.  I’d grab Filthy if someone dropped him while he was rehabbing for what felt like four months.  He’s always good for those delicious Ks (and tying his owners to the WHIPping post).

Matt Cain – 5 2/3 IP, 5 ER, 11 baserunners, 5 Ks.  I liked him better when he was outperforming his FIP.  That’s what she said!  No, she probably didn’t because only three nerdheads in The Missouri Bootheel even know what FIP is and they don’t talk to girls.

Cory Luebke – 7 1/3 IP, 5 ER, 10 baserunners, 3 Ks.  He should’ve chewed up the Dodgers and spit out a 7 IP, 3 ER start.  This is coming after a most unimpressive 6 IP, 4 ER.  But — and unless you’re an alien there’s also a but — his WHIP is below one still.  You have to remain patient for at least one more start.

Jesus Guzman – 6 for his last 11.  Kyle Blanks — hype!  Anthony Rizzo — hype!  Yet, Jesus is the only one doing work (though not carpentry).

Paul Goldschmidt – 1-for-4 with a single.  Now you must be happy you stashed him in June.

Trevor Cahill – 4 IP, 7 ER.  When pitchers I don’t like perform badly, it actually doesn’t make me the least bit happy.  Of course, I’m joking.  Schadenfreude!

Coco Crisp – 2-for-4 with, like, his 12th steal in the past three days.  I’m only sorta joking.  He has 6 steals in 3 days.  Now I’m being cerealious.

Shin-Soo Choo – Will take BP this week.  Where is he taking them?  To the Gulf to see what they did… Oh, batting practice!  Gotcha.

Bud Norris – Left yesterday’s start with a blister on his finger.  It’s something to watch.  Not literally, unless you’re in the same room as him.  And, even if you are, it’s impolite to stare.

Mark Melancon – 2 IP lowering his ERA to 2.98 and the win because the Astros don’t need that albatross Hunter Pence!

Matt Holliday – 2-for-3 with a homer.  I’ve been so busy underreporting Lance Berkman and Justin Verlander that I think I actually have underreported Matt Holliday.  He hit his 15th homer yesterday to go along with his zero steals.  Who are you, Andre Ethier?  That’s a whole lot of name value right now and not so much fantasy.

Jhoulys Chacin – 7 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 2 Ks.  Sonavabench!  Sure, can’t throw a good start for weeks then you get murderer’s row plus Pence and hold them to one run.  Of course you do.

Clay Buchholz – Shut it down, ‘holz.  He’s about to.  Sounds like Buchhurtz is done for the year.

Jason Kipnis – 3-for-5 with his 2nd homer in as many games.  You, “Grey, Schumaker or Kipnis?” What I read, “Hmm… Should you pick up the old guy who’s hitting or the young guy with all the upside that’s hitting?”  I tell you Kipnis.  You, “Thanks!” What I read, “Nice ‘stache.”

Lucas Duda – 1-for-4 with a homer.  Duda’s done doodie since I put him in Friday’s Buy, but this could be the start of something.

Omar Infante – 3-for-5, Bonifacio must’ve passed the conch shell to his teammate because Infante has now hit in nine of ten games and is hitting near .375 in that span.

Mike Stanton – 2-for-5 with the grand slam off Izzy.  Anyone who hasn’t seen Stanton hit a ball, they should watch it some time.  He looks like the superhero, Blok.

Javier Vazquez – 7 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 2 Ks.  I’m pretty sure Vazquez and Liriano are conspiring against me like they’re Sean Penn in The Game.

Josh Johnson – Will resume throwing on Tuesday because he was shutdown last week and that’s what pitchers who like getting repeatedly hurt do.  They throw after they’re shutdown.  This should end well.

Jarrod Saltalamacchia – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs. Hit a broken bat homer yesterday, which would be impressive for most, but his bat is an extra 18 letters long.

Desmond Jennings was called up. “No, he wasn’t.” “Yes, he was.” “No.” “Yes!” “Yes!” “No– Wait, I was the one saying yes.” Or so went us, me, you, we for the last two months. Why do we care so much? Because we have a void in our own lives? Oh, you meant it more why do we care about Jennings so much, gotcha. He’s the number one prospect in baseball for fantasy, according to Grey Albright, Fantasy Master Lothario. There’s guys that can hit with more power. There’s pitchers that have great stuff, but speed translates easiest to the majors and Jennings gets a lot of his value from his legs. Also, he’s had a great OBP through the minors, so getting on base shouldn’t be an issue. Then you throw in his teen homer power and you’re looking at a guy that could be B.J. Upton without the phantasmagorically bad average.  Call the engraver, we need a plaque for Cooperstown!  As with all rookies — or rooks if you have a short attention span — there’s the chance he falls flat on his face or steps on a rake and isn’t good until next year. Wasn’t like he set the world on fire last September when he was used off the bench (.190 average, 0 homers in 21 ABs with 2 steals). For his huge upside, you should take a flyer on him in every league. Yeah, even yours. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

B.J. Upton – As the Rays started the Jennings’ arbitration clock, they also started the Upton nice-knowing-you clock.

Alex Cobb – 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 2 Ks.  The Tampa Bay Peach was much better in the minor leagues this year than he’s been in the majors, and he hasn’t been too bad in the majors.  Decent flyer in deeper leagues, but he’s not guaranteed anything.  Like all of us.  Geez, that’s dark.

Zack Cozart – Just when I drop my other shortstops, deciding to roll with Cozart, he goes and gets hurt.  I know, here’s the world’s smallest violin.  Here’s you putting the world’s smallest violin on eBay and when someone meets the opening bid of one cent, they’ll play it for me.

Mike Carp – Hit two homers this weekend while maintaining his tilde .250.  BTW, someone who raises you but isn’t your mother?  Matilde.  You’re welcome, English language.  I’m making you better.

Adrian Beltre – To the DL with hammy issues.  Know who else had hammy issues?  Kermit the Frog.

Chris Davis – Called up to replace Beltre.  Someone change Bill James’s sheets!

Josh Collmenter – 7 IP, 3 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks.  Through 92 innings, has a 0.93 WHIP.  That’s good.  More impressively, he’s only walked one batter in his last 21 innings.

Chase Headley – I refused to own him this year…Actually, besides Bartlett, I’ve abstained from Padre hitters.  And Bartlett just for speed.  So I wasn’t exactly following Headley’s season.  Any the hoo!  He has 3 homers on the year!!!  (Extra exclamation marks provided by my 14-year-old niece.)   And he has only two homers since April 2nd.  Your deity of choice, that’s terrible.

Phil Hughes – He was in Friday’s Buy column then he went out and served you lunch in a Port-A-John.  Totally 20/20 hindsight here, but would I start him every time out?  Nope.  Do I still think he should be owned in most leagues?  Yup.  Should he be owned in your league?  Mupe.  That’s colloquial for maybe.

J.P. Arencibia – Hit three homers this weekend to bring his season total to 15.  The funny thing — and by ‘funny’ I mean not funny at all — people ask me if I like so-and-so catcher better than so-and-so catcher, and in my head I’m like, “It’s a catcher.  Just put him in your slot and stop picking the scab.”  Unless we’re talking about the difference in McCann and Chris Iannetta, there’s very little separating most catchers.  Yet, this seems impossible to get through to people.

Eric Chavez – As the trading deadline approaches, Eric Chavez is the one player that no teams are interested in.

Gio Gonzalez – 4 2/3 IP, 6 ER in The House They Built Next To The House Ruth Built.  You’re basically drinking jungle juice straight from a bathtub if you started him here.

Hideki Matsui – 5-for-5.  I almost included him in hitters that had a big 2nd half last year, but I didn’t think it was possible for a repeat.  I figured he was too old, too tired and too effin’ blind from his huge porn collection.  He’s now hitting over .400 in the last week with 2 homers.  He also dedicated this big game to his anime-inspired wife.

Jarrod Saltalamacchia – 3-for-4, 4 RBIs as he stays hot.  He’s now hit in almost as many consecutive games as there are syllables in his name.

Dustin Pedroia – Sawx scored 12 runs and Dusty went 1-for-5 with a run.  Ticker tease!

Tim Stauffer – 5 2/3 IP, 5 ER in Citizens Flank.  See Gonzalez, Gio or 2 inches above.

Mike Trout – Not to be shown up by Carp, Trout went deep for the first time in his career.  Somewhere, Kevin Bass is smiling.  Trout’s also hitting .179, so there’s that.

Marlon Byrd – 4-for-5 yesterday and 2-for-3 with a home run on Saturday.  Member in the preseason when you drafted Byrd as your 5th outfielder?  Yeah, he could still do that.

Carlos Lee – 4-for-8 over the last two days with a homer.  First Byrd, now Carlos Lee — it’s like I found this roundup in a time capsule.

Adam Jones – Yesterday, a slam and legs to go with 2 homers over the weekend.  Next year, he’s gonna be 26 years old.  Giddy up.

Mike Stanton – 2-for-4 with his 2nd homer this weekend.  He’s younger than the youngest Culkin brother.  Yup.

Emilio Bonifacio – Hitting streak at 23 games.  Imagine he broke Joe Dimaggio’s hit streak?  Baseball historians, sporting tweed jackets, would be jumping out of windows all over our fine nation.

Gaby Sanchez – Hit three homers over the weekend.  He (she?) is having one of those borderline seasons.  In NL-Only leagues, you’re more than happy.  In mixed leagues, you’re kinda meh.

David Wright – 3-for-4 with his first home run since he returned on Friday.  Don’t want to jinx him by saying he looks like he hasn’t missed a beat, and not totally sure if it’s a jinx just by saying I don’t want to jinx him.

Bobby Parnell – 1 IP, 2 ER.  When you don’t have the closing job, but you’re trying to get it, it’s not the best move to blow a game.  Maybe he should switch to Bob or Robert to try and instill some confidence.  Bobby’s a child; this is a man’s game!

Antonio Bastardo – Got the save yesterday.  Manuel just got on the phone with the bullpen and said he didn’t care which bastard came in and Antonio warmed up.  Madson had also saved the previous two games.

Chase Utley – Hit 2 homers on Saturday.  I hope it’s the start of something magical that would make his pomade-fueled hair proud, but sadly I think his best days are behind him.

Colby Rasmus – 2-for-4 with a home run.  In an odd turn of events, Rasmus started.  And for the Cardinals.  Geiger, let’s go!

Francisco Liriano – 2 1/3 IP, 4 ER.  If someone asks if they should still own this schmohawk, they should just put their password in the comments and I’ll drop him for you.

Justin Upton – 9 for his last 11 with 9 RBIs and 2 homers.  Still enough season left for him to make his case for being a top five draft pick next year.  Go ahead scoff, you scoffer.  But if he gets to 30/20 with a .290 average, at the age of 24 you’re going to doubt him?

Brett Cecil – 9 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks.  I’m warning you now, I’m gonna like him a lot going into next year.  You know, I like high-K, sexy pitchers that are totally inconsistent.  These guys are the insane, hot girls that you wanna date but you really shouldn’t.  Your friend, “You should break up with her.”  “We all have our quirks…”  Your friend, “She just set your car on fire.”  “But she has great breasts!”

Adam Dunn – Went 3-for-16 (.188) this week to raise his average to .160.  My man’s on fire!

Justin Masterson – 7 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks.  I continue to watch every start of his with my hands in front of my eyes.  Somehow, his ERA is 2.57.

Michael Pineda – 4 1/3 IP, 7 ER as the Mariners losing streak hits 15 games.  That’s an impressive skid mark.