The Braves opened up their new park in style last night and Ender Inciarte began the charge going 2-for-4 with his third home run and two RBI. It’s a new year and new park and with that comes and new line of over-the-top ballpark food. Come for the cannolis, craft beer and 5 lb pork chop sandwich, stay for the Braves win. Speaking of winners, this was Ender’s Game and we were all just alien Buggers living in this crazy war-torn universe, preparing for the next Invasion against the Fleet. Just ignore that the book/movie is subliminally telling you to hate the gays and eat at Chic-fil-a. Inciarte must be a “Third.” Ender has the privilege of being the first player in SunTrust park history to collect a hit, score a run, and hit a home run. That’s right, folks, Inciarte is officially the greatest hitter in SunTrust Park history. In addition, he’s now homered in back-to-back games after hitting two bombs on Wednesday and Ender has been known to get hot quick. In 131 games last year, Ender hit .291 with 3 homers and 16 stolen bases. He’s already matched his 2016 homer total! That’s gotta be a good sign, right!? He’s available in about 40% of ESPN leagues, and if he’s still out there I’d grab him while the Braves are still undefeated at home. This might not last long. Come on Atlanta, let’s give him the chop!

Here what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

[Editor’s Note]: Greetings, Razzers, it’s that guy Sky you all maybe kinda remember from that one post about that one guy from that one time. I’m telling ya, it was memorable! But even if not, I wanted to slide into your interwebs for a minute and let you know we’ve got a new bag this year with DFS as we’re working with FanDuel Wednesday thru Saturday, breaking down the slates on the daily with our usual mix of bad grammar and unbridled enthusiasm that you’ve come to love. I for one welcome our new DFS overlords…please come along with me and welcome them too!

Welcome everyone! The Collector here, breaking down this beautiful Wednesday slate on FanDuel for you! If you don’t play on FanDuel now is the time to sign up and play. I first want to say how happy I am baseball is back, I’ve only been waiting 6 months for this (you can only play so much dfs hockey/pga). I’m first going to break down exactly what I will be doing for you guys this season. I’ll be giving you guys gpp plays, and try to avoid chalk (though that’s not always possible). As a gpp player I think I can help those out who want to play gpps as well. You won’t be seeing me say “Play Colorado in Coors” (BORING) or “Play Kershaw against the Padres” (ok this may happen but I’ll try really hard not to go there).

Today we have a 12 game slate, biggest one to date. At first glance this seems like a solid slate with very little weather issues (besides in Cincinnati). Let me breakdown my chalk plays real quick at each position

SP J Degrom (9800) R hill (9600)

C G Sanchez (3400) B Posey (3300

1B P Goldschmidt (4300) either E Thames (2400) or T Joseph (2000)

2B R Odor (3500)

3B N Arenado (4100) M Machado (3900)

SS T Turner (3700)

OF M Trout (4800) B Harper (4600) M Betts (4500) A Eaton (3500) A Benintendi (3300) J Pederson (3100)

Now onto the picks…

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care! ‘But I already have a FanDuel account’, you say? Well our FanDuel link ALSO shows you care by leading you to a daily $3 contest, letting them know that we let you know about it and them through us. It’s, like, totes radical!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Welcome to another season of Razz-matazz Fantasy Baseball. For those of you wondering, that actually was Grey’s second choice for naming this site, but as you can see, Razz-ball won out, much to the chagrin of jazz fingers around the world. And just one ball. No multiple balls I guess. Kinda like the opposite of how Hilton didn’t want just one tree. Double that sh*t! But here we are with another year of staff picks. So what’s the goal with this? Hashtag content, baby. (That’s the technical term.) There’s another goal though, one less self-fulfilling, unlike your mother. Despite the modern advancement of technology and science, we still have no way to have every writer provide their extended (or in Tehol’s case, I always hope abbreviated) take on every single player in the MLB. We try though! And so we have this quick-and-easy (I regret burning my “yo momma” joke now…) presentation that provides you, the Razzmatazzball community a viewer-friendly and succinct breakdown of how we feel about the upcoming season. Last season’s can be found here for posterity! So without further ado, here are our Official 2017 Razzball Picks, and be sure to share your picks in the comment section!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Look, I’m not proud of that headline. [Jay’s Note: I am!] But you try to write a catchy, fun headline for such a depressing weekly article. 

We’re inching closer to crunch time. As each day passes, these updates will become more and more crucial as you prepare for your draft. If you have any questions on anyone I’ve missed or anyone you’re worried about — please don’t hesitate to drop me a line in the comments and I’ll get back to you ASA-quick.

Here are some major(ish) players who missed some time this past week…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

If a discount is on top of “a sort of” discount, does that make it free?  The title this week is twice as nice with meaning, because everyone like to go Winona on their lineup, especially late in drafts.  And going double Winona, when a steal may be a steal, is SAGNOF gold.  So that’s where we are going today folks, the land of misfit outfielders, and one infielder.  The steals category is a fickle one that you either go all in on, or just basically change lanes without your blinker type stat.  This year there seems to be an abundance of “steals mainly, other stats to be desired” types.  These guys aren’t the elite of the elite in steals, but also aren’t the fantasy stalwart you may want to over-draft.  They still hold a ton of value, and most of them are familiar names.  I just think with outfielders, the best theory is to roster three studs, a guy with multi-position eligibility, and one that is a steals-only guy that won’t, or you hope won’t just lay eggs in other categories.  The Billy Hamilton’s, Villar’s and Dee Gordon’s are long gone before these names even show up on the drop down menu on the draft app and every single one of these fellas can be had after the 180th pick currently.  It is all about value kids. Although the steals category is a dropping number, stat-wise, from years gone by, it still is a stat that you garner points in. So check out what Igotta say, say hello… or don’t.  Cheers!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Here we are, the third of four posts about the Couch Managers 2017 Industry Mock Draft. Previously, I posted recaps of rounds 1-6 and rounds 7-12. This post is for rounds 13-18. The final post will be for rounds 19-23. Complicated stuff, I know. But try to keep up.

In case you have yet to see my previous posts, here is a quick recap of the league rules for this mock:

This mock was for a 15-team, 5×5 roto, with 23 roster spots made up of 9 pitchers (9), 1 spot for each position (8), a second catcher (1), 2 more outfielders (2), one corner infielder (1), one middle infielder (1), and one utility position (1).

As I have done with the other posts, I’ll post the results below by round and will offer a few of my thoughts for each round…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As we continue our 2017 fantasy baseball rankings, we head into the homestretch of ranking hitters.  For those confused, homestretch isn’t when you shoot up late at night, remembering there’s a Dorito under the couch and go reaching for it.  That is the opening to my short film, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dorito.  The main character has just been Frito-Laid off and is described as Pringley and Ruffled.  Last year, this post had Adam Duvall, Jackie Bradley Junz, Jay Brucespringsteen and a bunch of vomit.  So, there is some value to still be found in the outfielders, it’s just a matter of finding it, like in the landmark film, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dorito.  As with the other rankings, my projections are included and where I see tiers starting and stopping.  Anyway, here’s the top 80 outfielders for 2017 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Greetings, friends. I hopped over to the football side of things once last year’s baseball season ended, but now I’m back. And apparently, I am such a disturbed individual that I am doing fantasy baseball mock drafts in early January. And, I am writing about them. And, well, I just wanted to start another sentence with and because it feels so wrong but so right at the same time. Anyway, moving on.

I was fortunate enough to be invited to the Couch Managers 2017 Industry Mock Draft, and we’re going to recap it here. This mock was for a 15-team, 5×5 roto, with 23 roster spots made up of 9 pitchers (9), 1 spot for each position (8), a second catcher (1), 2 more outfielders (2), one corner infielder (1), one middle infielder (1), and one utility position (1). As long as I did that math correctly, that is 23 spots.

Below, I will provide the results for the first six rounds and a give my thoughts for each round. I’ll do the same for rounds 7-12, 13-18, and 19-23 in subsequent posts. I’ll try to keep it brief. All we really care about are the results here, right? Feel free to tell me how awesome or crappy you think my team is, along with what you think were the best and worst picks of the draft or the different rounds…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Imagine the Cubs decided to use Lester, Hendricks, Hammel and Lackey in the playoffs, and not Jake Arrieta.  Not sure it would be the wrong move either.  Arrieta isn’t just out of gas, he’s on a late-70s gas station line, cursing Jimmy Carter.  He’s eaten six Chalupas and a Pintos ‘n Cheese from Taco Bell, washed it down with a 16-ounce Coke, and can’t produce any gas.  He’s staying at a Marriott in Saudi Arabia where OPEC is meeting and all hotel guests get a complimentary barrel of petroleum and Arrieta can’t produce any gas.  Yesterday, Arrieta went 5 IP, 7 ER and his ERA went up to 3.10.  About five months ago, I said Arrieta doesn’t look right.  I said it around the time of his no-hitter.  That took some pants grapes.  What’s funny (not funny) when you’re super early at calling something out, people write you off as cuckoo in the coconut.  On April 29th, I said, “It’s hard to find a positive when you take this year’s numbers vs. last year’s (of Arrieta).  Velocity is down, K-rate is down, walk rate is up, xFIP is up, luck is up, homers are up, ground balls are down and fly balls are up.  It’s like looking under a Maserati’s hood and seeing a Mercedes engine.  It’s not bad, but it’s not a Maserati.”  And that’s me quoting me!  On May 9th, I said, “Not to sound like a broken record, but his peripherals just haven’t been as good as last year thus far.”  And that’s me quoting me sounding like a broken record!  I continued to say more or less the same for a few months, then SUDDENLY everyone else started saying it.  For 2017, I picture Arrieta being drafted a lot like Felix Hernandez in the preseason this year.  People are concerned, but he’s so good, they’re still drafting Arrieta around 60th overall.  Yeah, and it won’t work out either.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s never too late to start talking about next year, is it?  Well, that is the direction I am heading.  I don’t know if anyone has noticed, but second base, and for that matter middle infield, is going to be an interesting position come draft time or even for some keepers.  This is the first time in a few years that there will be a dearth of players with a value at the position, so I am personally sorta excited, about as excited as getting a onion ring in my french fry order.  The middle rounds for these second base eligible guys is going to be an interesting pecking order of who covets who more, and what we have seen this year steers them.  Now, this is a steals post and most of the guys I am talking about are going to have value there and in some ancillary stat contributions, I am not talking about the over-drafting of Brian Dozier, and to some extent, Robbie Cano.  Steals only guys, they in this case, have faces until at least your draft or keepers are pot committed. So this week, I am looking at some second sackers that will shine for you next year based on the second half stats.  For giggles afterwards, since the season isn’t over, some two-week guys that will help you down the stretch and of course some save stealers…

Please, blog, may I have some more?