Unlike other 2013 fantasy baseball rankings posts, I’m just gonna rank all of the closers in the format of every Closer Look I’ve done in the past. Unlike other Closer Looks, I put projections in. The setup men are in order in parentheses, and the relevant ones have projections, as well. Once Brian Wilson and Jose Valverde sign, I’ll add them; neither are much more than end of the staff flyers. You should draft saves first and foremost in all but Holds leagues. Ratios for relievers are very fickle. Ratios for middle men are all over the map. Every year middle men come out of nowhere. Just because Venters is with a top reliever does not make him the number one middle man. David Robertson would be that. When I rank my top 400 on Friday, I’ll have everyone in there. Closers as of right now are listed first even if I think someone else will get more saves; as with the Tigers shituation. The other day Smokey did a top middle relievers for the NL post (AL will be up shortly); Rudy also has all of the Holds projected in the 2013 fantasy baseball projections. My biggest problem with ranking Holds is there’s no rhyme or reason from season to season with closers, then take that fickle fluidity (fickidity?) and multiple it by five when you start to go further into bullpens. Last year, the Holds leaders were Joel Peralta, Pestano, Mitchell Boggs and Dor-K (for our dyslexic readers). The year before, only Pestano made it in the top 20 and he ranked 16th overall. Tyler Clippard was the best in 2011, where was he in 2012? 66th overall after he took May thru August off to captain a ship in America’s Cup. If getting saves is about opportunity, getting Holds is about opportunity plus a coin toss. Anyway, here’s all the closers for 2013 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
With the trade deadline in the bag and closers moving, we have a lot to talk about. Some of it refreshing like a glass of ice cold lemonade on a summer’s day. Some of it less so like being asked to write something for Lainie Kazan, wondering who Lainie Kazan is and Googling her to find Playboy pics from the 1970′s juxtaposed with her present-day pics.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Here’s one way baseball could take cues from fantasy baseball. Yesterday, the Marlins announced that they’d be going to a closer-by-committee, which puts Steve Cishek in line for saves. If they had a fantasy baseballer (<–my mom’s term!) running their club, things would’ve been different down in South Florida.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Let’s get in the Wayback Machine. Back in March, Zsa Zsa Gabor was still alive, there wasn’t a legitimate Republican candidate for the White House and Desmond Jennings had loads of potential. Now stepping out of the Wayback Machine we realize those three things are still true.Please, blog, may I have some more?
With about a month before we hit MLB’s July 31st trade deadline, let’s take a look at a few teams with closers who may be moved by that time.
Colorado Rockies: At 37 years old, Rafael Betancourt clearly isn’t the long-term option for the Rockies, but he has been extremely effective since being acquired from the Indians in 2009 (this season’s excellent 2.67 FIP and 4.14 K/BB are his worst rates since donning a Colorado uniform).Please, blog, may I have some more?
As I announced yesterday after inferring things from elsewhere, it’s official. Anthony Rizzo will be in tonight’s lineup vs. the Mets. I’d continue to paint the walls of your brain with more praise, but I think we’ve heard enough. If I effuse anymore, you Rizzo owners aren’t going to be able to get into your pants anymore. Let’s look at reality for a second, last year he hit 1 homer and .141 in 49 games and 128 ABs. I didn’t make those numbers up. I seriously just looked them up on the Al Gore-invented Internet. One homer, .141 average. That sounds downright Zimmermanian. Sure, it was in Petco (for his home games), and the only one that likes to hit there is Tony Gwynn and he’s hitting the buffet. Is it totally outta the realm of possibility that Anthony falls flatso? Noppers. Right now, Rizzo might be at the height of his value. Say you have Konerko, Middlebrooks and really no room for Rizzo, except by clogging up your Utility spot. I wouldn’t hold onto Rizzo waiting for his value to possibly drop out. It might take alligator blood to trade Rizzo right now, but to the bold go the fantasy spoils, or whatever that cliche is. This is not to say I think he will Triple Lindy back into Triple-A, but it’s out there as a possibility. You didn’t just back up into Miguel Cabrera off of waivers. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Travis Wood – 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks. You know something the media hasn’t covered much? What a great year it is for pitchers with double entendre last names. We haven’t seen anything like this since The Big Unit tried a backdoor cutter. Wood has a K:BB 35:20 in 48 1/3 IP. That’s fine for NL-Only leagues, but I’d be careful letting Wood poke around my mixed league team.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Well, not much has changed for closers since last month when we did a run down of all of them. Kimbrel got a save, Axford got a save, and everyone else sucks. Holly Robinson Peete closers are a mess! I don’t think there’s ever been so many Brain Freezes before. I almost feel like adding an extra category below the Brain Freezes called, “The Legend of Gloom.” Wha’ happened? Did someone poison the bullpen water? Has Mariano Rivera made it so when he retires there won’t be any more closers? There will only be starters and “Those Other Guys.” To recap this month in closing quickly: Valverde has been less than stellar, Putz and Street just don’t close games, Motte hasn’t been good, Brian Wilson became Casilla who Bochy pulled after one batter during one game, Joel Hanrahananananan gave fantasy owners the question, “Who’s Juan Cruz?”, Sergio Santos may start throwing at some point in the next few weeks, the Red Sox gave the job to someone who has an over 10 ERA, Frank-Frank hasn’t had a blank-blank inning in forever, Kyle Farnsworth left stage right and Rodney, who couldn’t get saves last year, entered stage “I can’t believe Rodney’s closing games,” Guerra’s been about as bad as expected, Walden blew one save and lost the job, What the H.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Who really doesn’t love a song that isn’t closely related to baseball being the lead in? I mean I could have made the title Africa, same band, but further from the premise. So we are onto an update of those every crazy relievers that garner some attention but are like the guys buried in the lower left corner on Hollywood Squares.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Joakim Soria went from being a $12 Salad to a Donkeycorn to a Brain Freeze back to a Donkeycorn to off the list completely in 12 short months. And if this is the first post you’ve ever read at Razzball, I probably lost you by the eighth word. Later! In Soria’s wake is Broxton and Holland, who together can be called Hamsterdam. In other “Saves give me serious agita” news is Ryan Madson. He went from a donkeycorn to off the list. Donkeycorns are dropping like flies! Then there’s Drew Storen. He was touch ‘n go there for a day or two… Okay, for about a week or two, but it seems like he could be okay. Yet, he’s starting the year on the DL. Terrific. Since our last Closer Look, Beane told us Balfour got the closer job in Oakland and Chris Perez got the job back from Pestano, which has the Italian American Anti-Defamation League up in arms, but that’s the norm for them since they talk with their hands. Finally, Carlos Marmol had some nerve issues with his hand that many Razzball commenters opined was from too much internet porn surfing. Sounds like someone is empathizing. Anyway, here’s all the closers for 2012 fantasy baseball:
You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?Please, blog, may I have some more?