Jake McGee

Grey

Closer Look

| 2012 Fantasy Baseball Draft, 2012 Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 72 Comments

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On the heels of the top 20 closers for 2012 fantasy baseball — or heals if you’re talking strictly about Huston Street and Andrew Bailey — comes every closer for 2012 fantasy baseball.  This is the post you’ve all been waiting for since earlier this morning!  Sorry to put you through that hour and a half of anguish/anticipation or anguishipation.  You were a melancholy soul.  But now you’re happy — yay.  It’s still Monday funday!  There were quite a few moves this offseason with closers relocating to greener pastures, or in some case, just different pastures.  Maybe that’s best expressed through the cliché mash-up — the grass isn’t always greener pastures.  Andrew Bailey moved, Mark Melancon moved, Ryan Madson moved, Huston Street moved, Heath Bell moved, Rafael Betancourt moved into the closer role, Sergio Santos moved and Joe Nathan moved.  A regular ol’ closerousel that we haven’t see the likes of since Tony La Russa retired (technically, that’s correct; though not exactly that long ago).  Anyway, here’s all the closers for 2012 fantasy baseball:

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Sandoval Says, “Dang Hamate!”

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 278 Comments

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Already thin 3rd base position just got a lot thinner with Pablo Sandoval breaking his hamate bone.  When Sandoval first heard the bad news, he pulled a half-eaten ham bone out of his pocket and asked if the doctor could insert it in the injured bone’s place.  He couldn’t.  Sandoval now knows how Rikki Lake feels when she lost all that weight then lost her job.  Sometimes fatty boombalatties are best to stay fatty boombalatties.  Hey, I don’t make the world, I just live in it.  So, Sandoval will miss up to 2 months with surgery and rehab.  His blimpotence was already an issue and hamate bone breaks tend to zap power further.  It’s not a good day to own Sandoval.  Yesterday wasn’t very good either.  Tomorrow probably won’t be much better.  Then on Wednesday…Well, you get the point.  When Mark DeRosa returns, he stands to see an increase in ABs, for those in NL-Only leagues who just need counting stats.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Ryan Zimmerman – Will miss 6 weeks with a tear of the rectus muscle in his abdomen.  Why does he have an anus in his stomach?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Closer Look

| Closers | 211 Comments

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Let’s quote the Random Preseason Commenter, “You don’t have Matt Thornton in your top 20 closers?  Hey, Grey, how does it feel to suck at life?  Oh, and while you’re sucking, blow me.  Thank you.”  This isn’t to point out I knew Thornton would be terrible, but to say again how fickle closers are.  He wasn’t in the top 20 because he had very little experience as a closer, and to say he was a lock as an elite closer was absurd.  The whole point with closers is the same as William Goldman’s famous quote regarding Hollywood, “No one knows anything.”  Soria has a 5+ ERA, Mariano’s blown two saves, Brian Wilson has a 9+ ERA and Fernando Rodney… Well, you knew he would suck and he did.  In the preseason, I also said that Ryan Franklin would lose the job.  I didn’t think it would happen that fast, but there ya go.  I have more faith in Mitchell Boggs keeping the job and his accounting firm above water until October than I have in Ryan Madson, but he’s a closer too so he too should be owned.  It’s all about SAGNOF, ya’ll.  Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
R.J.

The Bottom of the 9th: Joe Blows

| Closers | 55 Comments

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From 2004 to 2009, no pitcher that doesn’t wear Jackie Robinson’s 42 has been more rock steady in the closer role than Joe Nathan. After winning 12 games coming out of the Giants bullpen in 2003, Nathan took his talents to the Twin Cities, finding himself immediately in the closer role, where he would reel off six consecutive 35-plus save seasons.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Giant Suits Buckle, Add Belt

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 145 Comments

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ESPN tells me the Yankees and Red Sox seasons are about to begin.  I’m gonna infer it’s Opening Day for the entire league since my six month egg timer is buzzing, my closet gimp is mumbling, “Baseball time…Baseball time…” and my desktop widget of Ron Jeremy shooting fireworks over Petco is exploding.  At least I think those are fireworks shooting across my computer monitor.  Spring has sprung, snitches!  Bask in that for a moment.  Okay, moment over.  Brandon Belt is going to start at first for the Giants.  Ain’t that the meow’s cat?  I really thought the Giants would hold off until June with Belt.  With this Belt news, everyone seems to be *pinkie to mouth* panting.  He’s still pretty raw in terms of his time in the high minors.  Though I wouldn’t let that stop me from adding him.  You take the flyer for the upside because if he pans out, he’ll be worth a lot more in name value.  To go with a current 1st baseman who is around his level, between Moreland and Belt, Moreland will have better stats but Belt will have better name appeal for now.  I’d give Belt the line of 60/15/70/.270/8.  There’s room for more, and there’s room for a lot less.  A lot less would be Belt struggling for the first month, Ross returning and Belt being demoted.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball:

Jake McGee – Rays kept him for their bullpen.  This shituation should be a closerousel all year until McGee wins the job.  Now whether he wins the job by May or August is the pickle.  I think it’s by June/July to get all hedgy on you.  My over/unders are Farnsworth with 20 and McGee with 15 saves.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Closer Look

| Closers | 148 Comments

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Frank Francisco has a sore pectoral, Dotel has a sore hammy, I have a boo-boo on my finger.  Who’s going to close for the Jays?!  Rauch, and there’s no reason to scream.  Brian Wilson lost his Smile and may miss Opening Day.  Joe Nathan looks like he’s going to be the closer and also like he’ll be nothing like the Joe Nathan of old.  I’d handcapp him with Matt Cuffs… Uh, huh?  It makes me nauseous to write this but we got a hurt Putz.  He should be fine a week or two into the season, so, ya know, still draft him.  Fernando Rodney is going to be the closer and he’s going to be dreadful.  Andrew Bailey has a forearm strain and can never stay healthy.  Same could be said about Lidge, except his pain is in the biceps, or is it bicep?  Neftali wants to start, but I still think he closes.  Though I would love a decision on this.  Kevin Gregg sucks.  Storen may not even make the team the way he’s throwing.  And Franklin is firmly in the closing role which I don’t think lasts.  In other words, it’s the usual closer shizz.  Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Closer Look

| Closers | 52 Comments

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Neftali Feliz is now a starter.  Or is he?  Emphasis on the ‘or.’  Or is it on the ‘is?’  You’ll never know!  Muahahahahaha… Yeah, I don’t think Feliz is going to be a starter.  They got to the World Series the way things were, you change that?  Ogando or O’Day or Oliver or… What’s with the O names?  Here’s a sneak peek of a post title for the first game one of these schmohawks blows a game, “Rangers Say O’Shit.”  Any the hoo!  Washington has said he likes Feliz getting the final three outs.  I think Washington gets what he wants, but I suppose anything’s possible.  For that reason, I’m dropping Feliz down the closer ranks.  The other big loser since the last closer look is Drew Storen.  I think he should be the closer, but the Nats are hesitating about calling him the closer.  If he secures the job, he’ll move back up the charts.  For now, he has some risk.  Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Closer Look

| Closers | 54 Comments

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Aw, sookie.  Our first look at all the closers for the 2011 fantasy baseball season.  That is a bird on your window and it’s singing Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah.  I went over Kevin Gregg signing with the O’s when it happened and Putz to the Diamondbacks.  I didn’t go over Frank2 signing with the Jays, but he’s the closer and that’s all I’m saying on that for now.  I have bigger fish to fry in this intro, The Rays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?