When doctors said Aaron Harang is going to have a useless part of his body removed, everyone in the Reds clubhouse thought the same thing, “What is Willy Taveras doing in Harang’s body?” If Dusty were a doctor, he would left Harang’s appendix in a few more innings. The appendectomy will force Harang to the DL for the rest of the season. Too bad, the Reds just traded for Rolen and things were really starting to come together. Feel free to cut Harang. He’s done-zo. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Chris Dickerson – Headed to the DL with a whatever-you-don’t-care. What you do care about, the Reds might call up Chris Heisey. He’ll be talked about in the afternoon post where I break down the potential September call-ups. Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Aussie, Trent Oeltjen, went 4-for-4 yesterday, after hitting three homers in four games. Wait, I know this one! Sounds like Parrot Bones? If you don’t own the guy when he’s hot, when do you own him? Will he keep this up? Can I shrug? Will I own him on many teams waiting to see how long it lasts? Why not? Can I own him and Venable and Garrett Jones all on the same team, or will the rookie nookie circle of life implode on itself? Who’s to say? Can I talk in nothing, but short questions? Maybe? (Let’s hope Oeltjen didn’t share a bed with this koala. Sorry, Michael Vick, she makes STDs look cute!) Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Kevin Youkilis – The Greek God of Fisticuffs, apparently. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Corey Hart is out for up to a month with an appendectomy. My college roommate had an appendectomy and he returned from the hospital in 24 hours and back to drinking Olde E forties with me by Friday, which is what we called Tuesday. Bill Hall will be recalled (Score one for NL pitchers) and Frank Catalanotto will see time in right field (score one for the Catalanottos). Good thing the Brewers traded for Gerut. Who? Hey, you sound like Ken Macha! I expect the Hart will go on in September. If he gives you his biggest month of the season then, it’ll be about 4 homers and 4 steals for the month. Whoopie! If Hart’s still on your team, now’s as good a time as any to cut him, unless you have DL room. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Ian Kinsler – Just hit the DL. Usually he doesn’t turn into a pumpkin for another twenty games. Kinsler was in Friday’s Buy/Sell. Betcha can guess which side of the slash he fell on. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Felipe Lopez was traded to the Brewers yesterday. This further cements Casey McGehee’s backup/utility/schmohawk MI behind door number 3 role. McGehee was a Sell on Friday and someone in the Milwaukee brass obviously read that. Felipe Lopez will prolly bat leadoff and primarily play 2nd base. He might get a few more Runs, but his value pretty much stays the same. Right now, Lopez has a 6/6 line on the year. This will put him in line for the middle infielder that everyone looks at late in next year’s drafts and thinks, “12/12 on the year? I’ll take that at my MI spot.” Then by June you’re thinking about how yawnstipating it is. I was as guilty as anyone in the preseason thinking Lopez had a 20/20 season in him and, at the age of 29, maybe he does, but it sure doesn’t seem like it’s coming this year. Going to the Diamondbacks were Cole Gillespie and Roque Mercedes, who were both featured prominently in Buena Vista Social Club. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Cla Meredith – The groundball pitcher, Meredith, went from the Padres to the Orioles for Oscar Salazar, the groundball hitter. Let the trades begin! Meredith now becomes the go-to Cla in Baltimore replacing Senator Clay Davis. I have to get one guy out in the 8th inning? Please, blog, may I have some more?
Chris Davis was sent to the minors last night to make room for Josh Hamilton. In the preseason, Bill James’s projections for Chris Davis were 107/40/118/.302/8. I thought that was a tad optimistic. And “tad optimistic” there is like saying, “Hey, this Ben Affleck movie might be okay.” Those predictions and the proceeding hype sent Davis’s ADP through the roof. To the point where I decided to punt 3rd base in all of my drafts and take Mark Reynolds. I went over why in this preseason post. Now I’m not saying I wasn’t at fault either. Back in December, I said Davis was a sleeper when he was going after Zimmerman, Huff and Atkins. When the hype picked up, I backed off. Though I did give Davis pretty generous preseason numbers too at 75/30/95/.275/3. But I have a fantasy baseball blog; I’m not Bill James. I think someone should ping Bill James (the kids say ping, ask one what it means) and say, “Hey, Bill, big fan. Lots of great stuff through the years. Sorry to ping you this late, but a few quick rhetorical questions. Chris Davis? Seriously? Did you not follow the ruler across the paper correctly on Pujols’s name?” In the Better News Dept., David Murphy should get more time now that Davis is gone as Blalock moves to first. Though I’m not sure how long Blalock can stay healthy playing that demanding of a position. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Psyche! Please, blog, may I have some more?
In his last four games, J.J. Hardy has gone 8-for-17 with two homers. You waited and waited. Went for a dip in the ocean. Washed ashore in Finland. Smoked a bowl with some guy who wore only a potato sack. Fell asleep on a raft. Woke up in your kiddie pool wearing your water wings. And finally Hardy got hot. In July last year, Hardy hit .339 with 9 homers. Followed that up with a .294 August and 5 homers. I know Hardy’s sucked the life out of you with his April through June, but if he’s indeed hot now, and it seems that way, he’ll bat 2nd, he’ll hit some homers and a decent average for a month or so. He’s currently batting .232. That’ll come up. He has 8 homers, he should finish with 25. Will he always be as delightful as your Finnish friend wearing a potato sack? No, probably not, but he’s better than he’s been. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Raul Ibanez – Won’t be returning this Friday when eligible. No set backs; Phils are just taking precautions. For those wanting to say something derogatory about him, I’d wait until he doesn’t have so much free time. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Given the plum matchup of the Nationals for his first Sawx start, John Smoltz turned the opportunity into prunes with a 4-run 1st inning. But then he started shaking off the rust and gave up only 1 ER and 3 hits in the next 4 innings. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Brandon Webb may miss the rest of the season. Nothing good comes from drafting a top pitcher. Nothing, I tell you. I own Peavy in two leagues, so I’m right there with youse. Remind next year to revert back to not drafting starters in the first five rounds. Actually, next year you probably will be able to get Webb and Peavy after the fifth round. Hmm, that’s a pickle. Guess we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. Webb was diagnosed with an “Ain’t Getting Better” problem. Captain Obvious says, “When a guy misses three months, then goes for an MRI, it’s not a good sign.” I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s shutdown for the year. But you’ve held him this long, what’s another day or two to hear the full prognosis? BTW, prognosis is doctor-talk for the 411. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Coco Crisp – Out for the season when his shoulder went snap, crackle, pop. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Brandon Morrow has changed his mind once again, deciding that his decision in the offseason to be a starter after relieving last year was a better idea than his decision in April to return to closing. It’s already June and it’ll take him at least a month or so to stretch out his arm. Could he put together a great 10 game stretch to finish the year? Potentially, but maybe he’ll decide he wants to play shortstop instead. We’re so tired of him changing his mind that we’re going to pretend like we’re monologue writers for The Tonight Show rather than debate his merits…. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Trouble ahead, Casey Jones, if you think Matt Cain is ’08 Lincecum. I went over why this doode was faux-Cain two weeks go when I broke down FIP. Now everyone is saying to sell high on him. And by everyone, I mean ESPN. Two weeks late, guys. Went there already. Oh, and I’m not going to link to them, because, as Berry said, that’s what they want. Well, I want Berry to say I told him not to draft Nolasco and then he went and said Nolasco was in store for a great year. When Berry says, I told him so. I’ll link to them. Wait, what was I saying? Oh, yeah! Cain! So you got your lugwrench out and you’re trying to figure out how to make Cain able again. The discrepancy between where Cain is now and where he should be is scary like Carol Channing without makeup. Why? Blah blah blah Lower K rate, very high strand rate… yadda yadda yadda… I went over it two weeks ago. Open that FIP link. And, yes, I touted the beejesus out of Cain in the preseason and I own him on a few teams. And, yes, I’d actually feel better if his ERA was just in the low fours like it should be. Don’t overrate his current ERA. You know that. So everyone’s zigging as they try to sell Cain, what do you do? Zag? Do you have the alligator blood to buy him for cheap? Maybe. It’s hard to sell a guy when their player news is calling for a regression. It’s like running headlong into projectile vomit. Then again, someone will drop some Liquid Paper on his stats any day now. Now for the good news, his last time out he dropped his FIP from 4.85 to a more manageable 4.36. One more strong start and who knows maybe he can actually be a 4.00 pitcher. He’s not, I repeat, not a 2.40 ERA pitcher right now, but as long as you keep that in mind, you should be all right. So sell him if you can get a decent deal, or buy him, but know what you’re getting. Right now, people want to sell him so bad, you may actually get a decent deal for him. He’s not terrible, just not quite what he’s been showing. (BTW, CBS was touting Mark Reynolds as a buy this week. I told you to buy him in March. ESPN told you to sell Cain and Jurrjens this week. I told you that two weeks ago. If I didn’t write this shizz, I’d be reading it too. Hey, wait a minute, my ‘stache looks weird with my bigger head. Please, blog, may I have some more?