Hey, I’m Higgins and I’m going to be posting updates about our Fantasy Razzball leagues. If you are not familiar with Fantasy Razzball, it is a league format where us truly masochistic fantasy baseballers try to build the worst fantasy baseball team possible.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ah, we can breathe a little easier, interleague play is finally over. I have never really been a fan of it as it relates to fantasy purposes. Too much who is playing where, and the DH rule makes me miss Ron Blomberg.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Another week older and closer to the all-star game. Where we can look forward to listening to about 600 comments about the waterfall in Kauffman Stadium. We get it, it’s a waterfall in a baseball park; my koi pond has one too but you don’t see them sauntering about with uniforms having a home run derby.Please, blog, may I have some more?
We all need a little wonder, so let me pose a question to you after this clunky intro. Was Matt Cain‘s perfect game the best one game pitching performance in major league history? I pose that question to you, young prematurely balding man, not to answer.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Oh, the Memorial Day weekend is here, subtle rejoice. It is officially the start to the season of way too tight Affliction t-shirts that are monikered in glitter and shirts that are sold in the three-pack variety. What could be better than that, I’ll tell you what.Please, blog, may I have some more?
When Heath Bell looked like garbage on Sunday, Frank Francisco returned serve with three of his own runs. It was like watching a tennis match between Jon Lovitz and that guy from Felicity. Rather than getting the hook by his manager, Frank-Frank was ejected for arguing balls and strikes.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Will Middlebrooks was called up to step between his brother, Donnybrook, Bobby Valentine and Youuuuuuuuuk. Youuuuuuuuuk said, “Ow, my back hurts, I need the DL,” Valentine said, “Just wrap yourself in lavash, that makes everything better.” Donnybrook erupted in a public place because of needling from Sawx fans and Will Middlebrooks hits a lot of homers in the minors.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Nolan Reimold has started this season like I thought he’d start the 2009 season. And the 2010 season. And the 2011 season. See a pattern? If not, I suggest answering C on all standardized tests and lowering your safety school expectations.Please, blog, may I have some more?
SAT Question: Albert Pujols is to a fractured forearm as Justin Morneau is to playing every day in 2011 and you can’t take him out of your lineup. Only thing worse for Cardinal fans is if Don Denkinger announced Pujols’s fractured forearm while wearing a Wilson Betemit jersey.Please, blog, may I have some more?
As I was sipping from my high-priced stemware that also happens to feature Star Wars characters, I got to thinking about how lucky I was to grab Eric Hosmer in one league. I patted myself on the back and took a dive onto my water bed.Please, blog, may I have some more?